The house felt warm and lived in; there were cheerful flowers spread around the stark, white living room and new artwork had been added to the walls. If her absence had been felt, there was no evidence of it she could see.
She took off her jacket and made herself comfortable on the sofa.
“Would you like something to drink?” Maggie asked as she glanced over Andy’s frame, taking note of how her face and hips had filled out.
“Water would be nice,” Andy accepted.
Maggie nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Andy took a deep breath as she glanced around what used to be her home. She hadn’t seen it since they had packed up for a trip in December, when she expected to finally let her dreams of being with Vanni die just like any hope for true happiness. This exquisite Malibu mansion had felt like a tomb to her then, but she had made her choice – to be with Graham – and was willing to stand by it.
As far as tombs go, it was a fairly nice one.
But she had never fit in. It had always felt like she was playing house here, and it was never her home. The smaller house in Redondo had always felt more tailor-made for her. It wasn’t as ostentatious; it hadn’t been lived in by other women. It was where she and Vanni finally blended their lives.
She realized now how wrong she had been to lead Graham on, thinking she would ever be happy here.
Maggie reemerged from the kitchen, carrying a glass of ice water. She placed it on a coaster on the glass coffee table in front of where Andy sat, before sitting in the chair opposite the sofa. “You’re looking well,” she noted. Not bad for someone whose happiness had cost someone else everything, she thought to herself.
Andy felt the animosity seep from Maggie’s pores. “And you,” she offered with a forced, polite smile. “What you’ve done with Graham is amazing.”
Maggie shrugged off the praise. “I just lit the path; he’s the one who had to walk it.”
“And now he can,” Andy said. “I was there from the beginning. I know more than anyone that had everything to do with you.”
“He’s getting there,” she agreed. “We still have a long way to go.”
Andy took note of the possessiveness of her tone. “I’m glad he has you along for the journey,” she said.
Words unspoken hung between the two women. Maggie wanted to berate the younger one for bailing after all Graham had done for her, for choosing someone unfit to shine his shoes. How could she not see the gift she had in him? Why would she ever choose someone as entitled and womanizing as Vanni? Sure, he was nice eye candy. But at the end of the day, could he ever really be trusted?
Could he ever truly change his spots?
Likewise Andy wanted to make Maggie understand that she never meant to hurt Graham. She thought she had been doing the right thing – the noble thing. Only now she could see that she’d done way more harm than good.
She’d never forgive herself for sleeping with him… for letting him believe they could have a future that wasn’t truly hers to give.
She had belonged to Vanni long before he put a ring on her finger.
Andy glanced down and realized she’d never put the engagement ring back on her left hand. Perhaps it was better that way, she thought. Clearly Maggie harbored deep antagonism for her choices. To know she had actually showed up on Graham’s doorstep engaged to another man would only fuel the fire.
They heard Graham hobble with his cane toward the living room. “Hey, Mags, how ‘bout we get lunch out today?”
His eyes lit up when he realized Andy was sitting with Maggie in the living room. His heart soared to find her in his home again, and Maggie realized with a sinking heart he never looked as happy to see her.
He was still in love, hopelessly and completely.
“Andy,” he said with a wide smile. “What a nice surprise.”
She stood with a smile of her own. “Sorry I didn’t call.”
He took careful steps toward her and then took her into a hug, taking an extra moment to luxuriate in how her curves felt in his arms again. “You never need to call ahead. You’re always welcome. Isn’t she, Maggie?”
Maggie forced another small, polite smile. “Of course. I think I’m going to go take lunch in my room, give you both a chance to talk.”
“You don’t need to do that,” he said. “We should all go out for lunch. The three Musketeers reunited,” he added, using a term he had coined for them when Andy had lived there before.
Maggie simply shook her head. “I’ll pass this time, but thank you.” She turned her gaze back to Andy. “Nice to see you,” she offered, but Andy understood immediately the sentiment was insincere.
She waited until she heard Maggie close her bedroom door behind her before she turned back to Graham with a sigh. “She hates me now.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said as he indicated that she take a seat. He joined her on the sofa. “You know Mags. She’s just a protective mother hen.” He smiled as he looked into her face. She looked even lovelier than he remembered. He wanted to tell her that, but sensed it would be inappropriate. Her eyes were troubled. “Is everything okay?”
She sighed again. She hated to bring her troubles to him after all they had been through – but he was, and always had been, her rock. “Vanni took Holly to the hospital yesterday,” she said, leaving out the crucial detail he’d done it behind her back. “The doctor confirmed it with a sonogram. She’s really pregnant. And it looks like it’s his.”
Graham’s mouth thinned out in a grim line. “I’m sorry, Andy.” He touched her on her shoulder, fighting the urge to pull her back into his arms. “Is she okay? Why was she in the hospital?”
“Apparently she was malnourished. She has a medical condition where she throws up everything she eats. She’s lost about fifteen pounds, I guess. The doctor wanted to put her on an IV.”
Neither of them noted how ideal it would be if she had just lost the baby. It seemed too cruel, even for someone like Holly. Despite how much easier it would have made their lives, they couldn’t bring themselves to wish for something so hateful.
It wasn’t the baby’s fault his mother was a liar and a cheat.
“So what does Vanni want to do about it?”
“He doesn’t know yet. But he has signed on to be financially responsible for her care. It’s only a matter of time before it all blows up in the press,” she added. “Is this going to be a problem for the show?”
He sighed. “It’s not ideal,” he said. “Dixie and Shannon made it clear they didn’t want to use controversy to pump ratings. But let’s face it. America likes a train wreck. That’s why the vultures over at PING can stay in business.” He paused as he examined her face. “What’s more important to me is if it’s a problem for you.”
She shrugged. “I was an idiot for thinking any of this was going to get any easier,” she said. “When am I going to learn that happily ever afters only happen in fairy tales?”
He rubbed her shoulder with his hand. “If anyone deserves one, it’s you,” he said softly.
She touched his hand with hers, drawing his attention to where she now wore her ring. He said nothing, though he couldn’t help how it stirred that little spark of hope he still had for them.
It was a spark that had practically caught fire in the last few days. She was turning to him again for advice and comfort; she was here in his house.
Maybe… just maybe… things weren’t really over.
Maybe…just maybe… she’d see that the best man for her was the one who had never let her down. There were no complications with his love, aside from the fact it wasn’t what she truly wanted.
For some reason he couldn’t quite understand, she wanted a man who had always put her last on his list. Now that Holly was pregnant with his child, he feared that was unlikely to change.
He sensed she feared it too, which was why she’d come to him.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said softly. It was probably more than he should have said, but h
e couldn’t stop himself.
She grasped his hand in hers. “You’re my dearest friend,” she stated simply. “Where else would I be?”
He pulled her back into a lingering hug. He stopped short of telling her he loved her. He knew she could feel it. He hoped that it helped.
After she had left, he stayed to himself in his room. He wanted to relive every moment they had been together. He wanted to memorize how warm and real she had felt in his arms. He remembered how she felt under his hands when he had finally been able to make love to her. He could still feel the imprint of her body, the soft peaks and valleys, in the palms of his hands.
The more he thought about her, the more he stirred. He had kept his hunger under wraps for months, but now he raged with desire for her…so much so that his own touch was insufficient. All he could think of was how she felt in his arms. Now that his sensations had returned to vital parts of his lower body, he wanted to feel her again. He wanted all of her. God help him, he still wanted more that she had ever offered to give.
He was frustrated when he finally emerged from his room that evening, restless and agitated. He found Maggie sitting on the deck, watching the tides roll in.
She seemed just as restless. She had avoided him all day, ensuring that they were in separate rooms even when it meant she sat freezing on the deck outside when he finally came out into the living room.
He took a blanket from a shelf and walked out to where she sat shivering in the cool night air. “Chilly night,” he commented as he put the blanket around her shoulders.
She nodded absently. Truth was she hadn’t been able to feel anything. She was still numb from finding Andy on their doorstep that afternoon.
Had she really entertained the thought that he could get over his insane crush for that woman, and turn to her and find true love instead?
What a fool she had been… as foolish as Graham himself.
He sat in the deck chair next to her. “You’re awfully quiet today. Are you okay?”
Her eyes met his, and he was instantly struck by how sad they were. “I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking,” she said.
“About?” he prodded.
She looked back out at the ocean. “About us,” she finally answered. She took a deep breath. “I think it’s time for me to move on.”
He fell back against the chair. “What? Why?”
She swallowed hard. “You’re doing well, much better than we expected. I don’t think you need my level of care anymore. Maybe it’s time to move on and find someone who does.”
He was dumbstruck. Somewhere along the line she had crossed over from nurse to roommate, even friend. It was inconceivable that she’d ever move on. As far as he’d come, he still had further to go. He always expected her to match each step of the way. “But I need you, Mags,” he said.
She shook her head. “No, you don’t, Graham. You have a life full of people who love you.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “People you love. Those are the relationships you need to be focusing on now, not some temporary nurse-for-hire.”
He reached for her hand and turned her to face him. “If that’s all you think you are to me, you are sadly mistaken. You’re my best friend, Maggie.”
She smiled and fought like hell not to cry. Never had the word ‘friend’ been so bittersweet. Then he had to make it even worse.
“Hell, you’re more than a friend. You’re family – like the sister I never had.”
She pulled her hand away and slid from the chair. Immediately he stood to his feet too. “Maybe that’s the problem,” she said. “Maybe I’ve become too much of a crutch. Maybe you could do much better, have a more fulfilling life, without me here.”
She was talking nonsense. “Where is this all coming from, Maggie?” he wanted to know. “Is this because of Andy?”
She turned away from him and headed toward the house. He was quick to follow, though it still took significant effort for him to do so. “What you do with your personal life is none of my business,” she said without turning back to face him. “I’m in no position to judge your choices.”
He grabbed her arm and yanked her around to face him. “But that’s what you’re doing. I could see it in your eyes earlier. I know you’re mad at her…”
“This is not about being mad at her,” Maggie bit out. “I’m mad at myself.”
This confused him even more. “Why?”
She took a deep breath. “I was here to do a job and one job only: to get you mobile. And I have. My job is done.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not. I’m on my feet but you know how much I still need your guidance and direction to get back to where I was. We’ve talked about our plans for the future…”
“Your future,” she clarified softly. “I’m just the staff. I shouldn’t be living in your house, under your roof, next to your room, day after day. I can’t keep living and breathing my job, Graham.”
His arm dropped. “Is that what I am to you? Just another job?”
She crossed her arms in front of her. “You’re my client and I’m your nurse. And you don’t need me here 24/7 anymore. You are independent and strong and getting your life back. But where does that leave me? When do I get my life back? When do I get my future?”
It hurt her to say the words, but hurt worse that he didn’t argue. He didn’t correct her, saying she was more than the hired help. He didn’t offer her a life with him. He simply stood there, speechless, as he tried to digest this new development. Everything was fine between them that afternoon. They had eaten a late breakfast on the patio, then joked and teased through their daily routine of specific exercises. She gave him a massage and put him in the whirlpool bath, just like every other time before.
Then, when he got out of the tub and found Andy on his couch, the congenial mood evaporated. She disappeared from sight and he spent the day moping in his room.
And now Maggie wanted to leave.
He couldn’t believe it… but he didn’t know how to argue with her to make her stay. She was right; she was there to do a job. Maybe it was inappropriate for her to stay in his house now that he no longer needed constant supervision.
Maybe she had needs just like he had needs.
He had never quite considered that before.
His eyes traveled all across her face. She was lovely, but in a more subtle way. Her beauty radiated from the inside, and was so understated that anyone on the street might pass her by and never notice the kind of warrior spirit and generous, devoted nature she had.
But she was a woman, and a woman needed to be loved, appreciated… valued. She had traded in romance for duty after her husband died, but clearly she was feeling the void that he had left.
In that moment Graham wanted to take her into his arms and hold her like a woman should be held, but he knew it was extraordinarily inappropriate. All he could say was, “I’m sorry.”
She bit her lip as she nodded. The limits on their relationship hadn’t changed. She had just let her dopey, sappy, romantic daydreams about something she couldn’t have run a little too wild.
She’d broken her own rules. She’d stayed too long. She’d gotten too close.
“So am I,” she said softly before she turned around and headed to her room to pack.
There were tears in her eyes as she did so, hoping beyond hope that he’d show up at her door and beg her to stay… that he’d take her into his arms and tell her what a fool he had been for not recognizing what he had in her. In her fantasies he’d come to his senses, stop chasing after an immature girl, and turn finally to the woman who was willing, and ready, to give him her world.
But each moment passed like the one before it. The clock in the hallway echoed loudly, breaking the empty silence like symbols clashing, bringing home the sad realization that Graham didn’t call her bluff.
She gathered her suitcase, stuffed down her tears, and called for a cab.
When she reemerged she found him sitting on the sofa in the li
ving room, nursing a drink. He looked somewhat surprised that she was choosing the late hour to leave. He couldn’t have known one more night separated by a wall would have been the end of her. She had to leave – now – before she lost her nerve.
He struggled to his feet. “Maggie, you don’t have to leave now.”
She nodded. “Yes, I do.”
He walked to where she stood. “But you have no place to go,” he pointed out. Then he added, “Do you?” as if he had never considered it before.
She smiled. “I’ll be fine, Graham. I’m thirty-six years old. I’m a big girl. I think I’ll be okay on my own.”
He was still confused by her about-face. But she was determined, and he knew already how strong her will could be when she was determined. He sighed and reached for his pocket.
“Graham, I have enough money,” she started but he shook his head.
“It’s not money.” He produced a key. “I want you to take one of the cars. You still work for me, right? Consider it a company car. I need to know that you can drive to the office and to the studio and to the house whenever you want.”
A car. She wanted his heart, and he offered her a car. She sighed as she stared at the key in his hand. If she had any sense at all, she’d quit that instant. But then she looked into his face, and those beautiful eyes that were so kind and so hopeful. Even though he couldn’t say the words, she knew he still needed her. And God forgive her, she couldn’t turn him down. She took the key and nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Same therapy schedule,” she instructed, all business… the hard-ass Mags he loved best.
He gave her a lopsided grin. “It’s a date,” he teased, but the words seem to pain her further. She turned on her heel and headed for the garage.
After she was gone he looked around his empty house. He finished off his drink and headed to bed, to dream about Andy and a baby boy who looked just like him.
CHAPTER NINE
Redondo Beach, California
February 21, 2011
Andy was awake before the alarm sounded that Monday morning at seven o’clock. She glanced over at Vanni, who still slept soundly with his arm around her, cuddling her close. Their weekend had been rough, with his going to see Holly and ensure that she was getting the proper care and that the baby was okay. He had wanted to move her closer to Redondo Beach, but Andy put her foot down. If he was insistent upon having two separate families then by God they were going to stay separate. Andy didn’t trust Holly as far as she could throw her, there would be no congenial “sister-wives” relationship between them. Andy would never punish a baby for the sins of the mother, and she was trying her best to make peace with the idea that her child would have a sibling that did not come from her, but the less she had to do with Holly, the better.
The Complete Groupie Trilogy Page 63
