He looked up at her and clenched his teeth. “So I can find him, beat the crap out of him, and break his multi-million dollar legs.”
Brittany shook her head sadly. “I don’t let his name pass my lips anymore. Besides, it doesn’t matter. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember me. I just wish I could forget him.”
Matthew slowly lowered his head and angrily plucked at the blanket on his bed. He looked up again and softened. “You look tired. When was the last time you got a good night’s sleep?”
“Three years ago.”
“Why don’t we rectify that tonight?” He got up and stepped closer to her bed. Brittany wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Under other circumstances, she’d have welcomed the opportunity to have him kiss her. But after what she just confessed, she was definitely not in the mood for romance. Pressing on her shoulder, he said, “Get some sleep, okay?”
She felt relieved he instinctively seemed to know what to do. Brittany laid back against her pillow and looked up at Matt. “You’re being so nice to me. And here I was beginning to think you didn’t care.”
“You thought wrong.” Matthew pulled the blanket up to her chest. When she closed her eyes, he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “Sleep well, angel.”
Chapter Thirteen
Lying on the bed in her dorm room, Brittany held her tablet to her chest. Some of the assigned reading in her British literature class was dull, but Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice was shaping up to be one of her all-time favorite novels.
As she moved through the book, she imagined herself and Matthew as the main characters. Matthew was like Mr. Darcy—formal, dignified, and standoffish. Brittany was like Elizabeth Bennet—assertive and blunt. Matthew formed his opinions of Brittany before he even knew her, just as Mr. Darcy had of Elizabeth. He immediately disliked her because she was headstrong and spoke her mind, and he judged her based on superficial impressions and hearsay. As he grew to know her, he softened, but it often seemed to Brittany his feelings toward her went against his better judgment, so he continued to resist her. She had hoped there was a chance their story would turn out the way Darcy and Elizabeth’s had, but considering she was alone in her room reading a book on a Saturday night, chances seemed pretty slim.
Her phone buzzed and for a second she thought it might be him, but it wasn’t. It was a notification to submit the next word in the crossword game she and her mom were currently playing.
L.O.N.E.L.Y. Brittany pressed play to send the twenty-five-point word. She stared at the word on her phone screen. It was Saturday night after eight and Sofia had a date. Allison had a date. Philip had a date. Jamie’s fiancé was in town so she had a date. Seemed like everyone had a date except her. There was a guy out there, a big, strong, handsome hunky guy who held her in his arms in the Gulf of Mexico, who looked deeply into her eyes, who ran his fingers through her hair, and who comforted her last night after she confided her deepest darkest secret.
Derek had returned to the room at around six this morning—before Matthew woke up—so she left without seeing him. Away-game days were always packed with activities, and she didn’t get to talk to him all day, not even on the plane on the way home. Too many people around. Still, she thought for sure he’d get in touch with her and ask to hang out later. Once again, she had high expectations and once again, she was disappointed.
Brittany closed her eyes and fantasized about being in a hotel room with him the night before the next away game.
In the middle of the night, she felt something graze her skin. Her eyes flashed open to find Matthew’s face hovering just above her own. “What are you—” He covered her lips with two fingers. “Shhh,” he said, his breath sending a chill through her body. He slowly moved those two fingers to her lower lip, curling it into a momentary pout before continuing down her chin, then down her neck to her chest. She shivered with anticipation when he rested his hand inside her cleavage before gliding his palm from one breast to the other, back and forth and back and forth, over and over, as she writhed with pleasure. She moaned when he bent over and licked her nipple, drawing circles around it with his tongue before taking her breast in his mouth. At last, he rolled on top of her. “I love you, Brittany,” he whispered before pressing his lips to hers. “I love you too,” she murmured against his mouth.
The phone slipped out of her hand, jarring her out of the brief but lovely daydream. She picked up the phone and sighed. Why weren’t they out on a date tonight? What the hell was going on with him?
Even though it was the night after a game day, lots of the players still went out. She knew that for a fact. Some of them took a nap after visiting the sports trainers and occupational therapists to work out kinks from the game. They’d take a long shower, or a hot tub, or a sauna. But they still went out with their girlfriends on a Saturday night. Matthew didn’t have the excuse of being tired. He didn’t play. He sat on the sidelines all game. If he was tired, it was because they were up so late talking.
Brittany set the devices aside, got off the bed, and paced the room. This was not sitting right with her. Where was he? Was he out with another girl? Was he at Dos Naranjas, the local watering hole just off campus where the athletes often hung out? She decided to find out.
She changed out of her tank top and shorts and put on a pretty button-down short-sleeve blouse, paired with white spandex pants that accentuated her curvy hips. She grabbed her cross-body wallet and headed out.
Brittany was halfway to the bar when she remembered how much she disliked walking alone after dark. The bar was only a couple blocks from campus, but at night, the walk felt a lot longer. The evenings were starting to get cool and she regretted not bringing a sweater.
As she approached, she walked through a cloud of cigarette smoke, courtesy of the kids hanging out outside. Waving it away, she entered the bar and looked around. Loud music blared as she took a tour around the room. A couple of guys from the basketball team offered to buy her a drink, but she smiled and shook her head no. She was on a singular mission to find Matthew.
At last, she saw a friendly face. Tony was seated at the bar, nursing a beer and jabbering with some teammates. Brittany walked over to the bar and stood next to Tony. Leaning her arms on the bar, she bumped Tony with her hip to get his attention. “Hey there, handsome.”
Tony raised his brows. “Brit. Hey. Can I get you a beer?”
“No, I can’t stay. What are you doing here by yourself? Where’s your better half?”
“Allie is working tonight so I’m flying solo for a few hours.”
“Yeah, me too,” she said sadly. “Hmmm, maybe you can help.” She tried to sound innocent, like the thought just occurred to her.
“You want me to hook you up with someone?”
“Not just someone. Matthew.”
Sighing, Tony said, “We’ve been down this road, Brit.”
“No, you don’t understand, Tony. Things are…well, they’re warming up between us. I was—” She looked around the room one more time. “I was hoping to find him here. Could you maybe tell me his dorm number?”
Tony leaned away. “Brit.”
“I know I know. I sound like a stalker, but you know me better than that. I’m no stalker. I just need to see him. Pleeeease.”
Tony looked at her for a long minute and smiled. “How can I say no after all the favors you did for me? He’s in the same building as me. Room 4E.”
Brittany smiled broadly as she grasped Tony’s arm and kissed his cheek. “If Allison asks, tell her that’s my lip gloss print.” She turned around and rushed out of the bar.
About halfway down the street, she felt someone grab her arm. Her first thought was that it was Matthew. But it wasn’t. “Bennie.” Scowling, she pulled her arm out of his grasp.
“Where you going?” When she didn’t answer, he said, “How about my place?” with an evil laugh. When she still didn’t answer, he said, “What’s with you, Brit? You’re supposed
to be a fun girl.” He spoke with a bit of a slur, making it evident he’d been drinking.
“I’m busy,” she said, hurrying her pace.
“You don’t look busy, babe. You look like a girl who needs to get laid.”
“You’re drunk.” She stiff-armed him to push him away.
“Whassa matter, Brit? My friends on the basketball team told me you were a sure thing. You telling me I’m not good enough for you?”
She looked at him sideways. “You said it, not me.” Her heart started beating faster and she briefly considered turning around and heading back to the bar where it was safe. “I’m not interested, Bennie. Go home.”
He hooked his arm under hers. “I’ll go home, babe. With you.”
Trying to pull away, she clenched her teeth. “Get your hands off me.”
“You know you want me.”
She finally freed her arm and slapped him hard across the face before shoving him. The shock and anger in his eyes scared her to death and she started running.
“Whore!”
Without turning around, she lifted her hand and flipped him off. She ran faster as he continued to shout profanities at her. Her heart was beating so hard by now, it was pounding in her ears. He’s drunk, she told herself. He won’t even remember this in the morning. Oh, how she wished she could report his inappropriate behavior, but after what happened in high school, she wouldn’t take the chance. She would never put herself in that position again. She just kept running and tried to refocus on her goal—Matthew.
When she reached Matthew’s dorm, Brittany took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She rubbed her arm. It felt like she sprained it when she pulled away from Bennie. She opened and closed her fist several times. She was about to knock on the door when an unpleasant thought entered her mind. Suppose he’s with a girl?
∙•∙
Inside the room, Matthew was lying in bed wearing a Barracudas T-shirt and boxers, reading the Bible on his tablet. His eyes zeroed in on a passage in Revelations 3:8. I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close.
For some reason, that made him think of Brittany—although everything made him think of Brittany lately. He couldn’t shake the feeling she was placed in his path for a reason, that she had a purpose in his life beyond throwing his libido into overdrive. Matthew was a normal twenty-year-old guy with the same wants and needs as any guy his age. Just because he took the vow didn’t mean his sexual urges were dead. It just meant he had to learn to suppress the urges, something that was a lot easier to do before he knew her.
Brittany had the face of an angel and the body of a Jezebel. He’d caught a glimpse of that body during an overnighter a couple of away-games ago. There were times he wished he never got that glimpse because it was etched in his brain and it drove him crazy. That voluptuous, luscious, perfect breast, pink and white and spherical, begging to be touched. His eyes closed and he visualized himself pulling her nightshirt over her head, her blonde hair splayed on her pillow.
He drank in her naked body with his eyes ogling her, from her breasts to the juncture between her thighs. He growled and squeezed her breasts together and slipped his erection into her cleavage, sliding it back and forth and back and forth, faster and faster until the friction brought him to the brink of erupting. Growing impatient, she grabbed hold of his length, licked its tip, and uttered, “Give it to me.”
A loud knocking at his door startled him out of his reverie. He looked down at his boxers and saw the evidence of his titillating fantasy. “Coming,” he called. He quickly pulled on a pair of khaki shorts and opened the door.
Brittany entered without waiting for an invitation. “What are you doing?”
He leaned away, surprised by the question. “I was reading some devotionals.”
“Really? On a Saturday night?” she asked incredulously.
“Yeah,” he answered slowly. “Why not?”
“Because, it’s a Saturday night!”
He scratched his temple. “Um. You said that already.”
“Have you been avoiding me all day?”
Squinting at her, he asked, “Why would I do that?”
“Stop answering my questions with questions.” Softening, she said, “Okay. Lookit, I thought maybe what I told you last night turned you off or something.”
“No, I’m glad you told me. I just wish—” She stood there expectantly, looking so pretty, so sexy that he had to look away. She made him wish every day he’d never made that vow, especially after that fantasy he just had about her. She had no idea how much he struggled with himself. She was right, he was avoiding her. He had to stay away from her to survive. The more he wanted her, the more he had to keep her at arm’s length. He slowly shook his head from side to side. “Look Brittany, I know what you want from me, but I’m not that guy. You know that by now. And as attracted as I am to you, I can’t give you what you want.”
“How do you know? What is it you think I want?”
“Um.”
“Okay, then let me answer. I want a nice guy.” When Matthew raised his brow, she nodded. “That’s right. A nice guy. Someone who treats me like they give a damn about me, not just my body. I want someone who asks my opinion about things, who’s interested in my future, who looks out for me, who’s sad when I’m sad and who’s happy when I’m—” She choked up and couldn’t finish her sentence. “I want someone who thinks I’m special. So maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not the guy for me.” She turned around and reached for the doorknob.
“Brittany, wait.”
He clutched her shoulders from behind and rested his forehead on the back of her head. A light floral scent emanated from her hair and filled his nostrils. “It’s not that I don’t care about you or think you’re special. I just think you’d be happier with a guy who doesn’t have as many rules as me.”
Brittany whirled around. “Why don’t you let me worry about what kind of guy I’d be happy with? Look at me. I’m alone on a Saturday night, not because I didn’t have any other options, but because the one guy I wanted to be with didn’t ask me out.” Her eyes were wild with anger. “And if you think I’m standing on ceremony, think back to how many times I tried asking you out. And stupid me.” She slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand. “Here I am again.”
Matthew smiled. “I can’t imagine you sitting around waiting for a guy to call.”
“Enough with the mixed signals,” Brittany complained.
Matthew took a step forward and clasped Brittany’s face between his thumbs, letting his other fingers straddle the back of her neck. A voice in his head told him to back off, but the pull toward her was far too strong and he could no longer fight it. “How’s this?” He leaned in and kissed her, his moist lips covering hers. Her body went limp as he deepened the kiss, moving closer until their bodies were touching. She put her arms around him, clutching his back. He slowly leaned away without releasing her face. Instead, he looked into her eyes. “Did that seem like a mixed signal?”
Brittany shook her head weakly. “No, it seemed like a pretty strong signal.”
He let his fingers trail down her shoulders and arms until he captured her hands. “Take a walk?”
When she nodded, he grabbed his keys.
Strolling along the path between buildings on campus, Brittany threaded her arm through Matthew’s and held on tightly. “You always quiet, or are you tired? I kept you up last night with my sob story and it’s been a long day, I know.”
Matthew rubbed her hand on his arm. “It’s not that. I guess I’ve been kind of down lately.”
“Why?”
“Lots of reasons. Pick one. I’ve been sidelined since game two ended, despite being promised the starting job. I mean I transferred to EFU with the understanding I’d be the starting QB. I’ve never been away from home before this. But I met with the coaches before I made my decision and they were really convincing and that’s why I made the move.”
“I
can’t believe they broke their promises to you.”
“Well, they gave me a shot and I failed,” he said on a sigh. “We lost the first two games.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t lose by yourself. I was there,” she reminded him. “The Barracudas stunk up the place. You had an offensive line that couldn’t block, no running game, a nearsighted place kicker, and hardly any defense.”
“Maybe so, but a good quarterback can rally the team behind him,” he argued. “Look at Tony.”
“Okay, lookit.” Brittany stopped walking and faced him. “Don’t take this all on yourself. The team went through a bunch of changes with Philip injured most of last season and the third string quarterback playing. They just needed time to pull themselves together.” With a roll of her eyes, she added, “I know, I know. No one has the patience to give it time.” She reached for his hand and held it. “I’m sorry, Matthew. I didn’t know you were going through this. Did you ever thinking about talking to someone?”
He looked at her quizzically. “Isn’t that what I’m doing?”
“I didn’t mean me. I meant a counselor or somebody like that.”
“I used to confide in my sports chaplain back home. And sometimes the guys in the chastity support group.”
“You talk to them a lot?”
Laughing a little, Matthew said, “I have them on speed dial since you came into my life.”
Brittany’s surprised expression morphed into a smile. “I’m in your life?” He lowered his chin and gazed into her eyes without answering. He was silently telling her of course she was in his life. Her face grew red under the intensity of his stare. Stroking his hand, she quietly said, “I meant it when I said you’re not alone. What can I do?”
“You’re doing it. Right now.” He brought her hand to his lips.
∙•∙
She watched his lips press against the back of her hand and felt the moistness. She hoped his next move would be a full-on kiss, but instead he said, “Hear that?”
“What?”
He looked in the direction of Edison Hall. “There’s a concert going on.” He looked at her. “Want to go?”
Pass Protection (Quarterback Sneak Book 3) Page 8
