She sure as hell wasn’t excited about it, though. That was obvious when both her voice and posture oozed reluctance.
“The two of us are jockeying for the same position.”
“Which is?”
“Chief of surgery. James Douglas is retiring. But I’m sure you knew that, the grapevine around here being what it is.”
“Right, though it’s been kept pretty hush-hush as to who’s going to get his desk.”
“Well, now you know who’s in the running.”
“Malcom’s got the pull.”
Noah’s gaze pinned hers. “That may be, but I’ve got the best skills.”
“That’s something else that hasn’t changed—your arrogant attitude.”
“Are you saying he’s the best man for the job?”
Amanda lifted her shoulders. “I don’t have an opinion one way or the other.”
“Liar,” Noah said softly.
For a moment, their eyes met and tangled, then hers suddenly turned fiery with outrage.
“You wish,” she said with uncharacteristic venom.
It was then that he realized how much she despised him. But he couldn’t fault her. She had every right to feel that way. What she didn’t have a right to do was torment him, which was exactly what she was doing.
Instead of her chin, her breasts now jutted out. Dammit, why wasn’t her coat buttoned? He wanted to turn his head so that he couldn’t see her nipples through her thin blouse and her bra—if she was wearing one, that is.
The countless times she hadn’t worn that flimsy garment leapt to mind. In fact, he used to tease her about it, especially when he was lucky enough to catch her alone for a few minutes.
“Your not wearing a bra to work ought to be against the law,” he had whispered, while tugging on one or both of those rose-colored nipples, feeling the heat build behind his zipper.
About that time, she’d slap his hand away and give him a teasing grin. “Mind your manners, boy.”
“Where you’re concerned, I don’t have any.”
Now, as Noah jerked himself back to the present conversation, he realized that his desire for her was another factor that hadn’t changed. She was no longer his to touch and caress at will, which was too damn bad.
“Maybe I do wish—” He broke off. Hell, he couldn’t say what he’d been thinking. But he knew she knew. Her scathing words proved that.
“Forget it! Outside of our professional duties, I don’t want anything to do with you.”
Although she spoke with the same spunk and anger of moments before, he saw the anguish in her eyes and suspected his thoughtlessness was responsible for putting it there.
“I assumed I’d already made that clear.”
“That you did.”
“I told you, too, there’s someone else.”
That reminder delivered another unwanted blow to the gut. He didn’t want to talk about that “someone else.” Apparently she did. It probably gave her untold satisfaction to rub salt in an open wound. Or did she care enough?
Suddenly, he wondered why the hell he had ever come back to Vanderbilt. If he had known how traumatic seeing her was going to be, he would’ve gone to another hospital. Wasn’t hindsight a wonderful thing?
“I hope you’ll be happy,” he said, choosing not to look at her. Not only was he a hypocrite, he was a liar, as well. But hey, he had to do what he could to protect himself. Even at that, he wasn’t making much headway. The more he was around her, the deeper he stepped into that quagmire of deceit and desire.
“I’m extremely happy,” she finally replied, rubbing one side of her temple.
“He’s a lucky man.”
“I think so.”
“When’s the big day?”
She blinked. “Day?”
“Yeah, you know, when you waltz down the proverbial aisle. You always said when you took the plunge, you were gonna do it up right.”
She shifted her gaze. “We…haven’t set one yet.”
“Ah, I see.”
“No, you don’t,” she flung. “You don’t see a damn thing. You’re too self-centered. So wipe that knowing smirk off your face.”
Their gazes met again. The hostility between them was almost combustible. He sighed inwardly. “What about that truce?”
“Truce?” She laughed. “That’s a joke.”
“Dammit, I guess I’m going to have to find that railroad track, after all.”
“Guess so.”
For another moment, he could only stand there and stare into Amanda’s cool, unreadable face, nailed by her direct, terse words.
“At least I know where I stand,” he said at last.
“I thought that was a given from the start.”
She folded her arms around her as another loud crack of thunder shook the building. But that gesture failed to hide the tremor that shook her frame.
He frowned. “Are you scared?”
“Of the weather?”
No, of me, he wanted to say, but didn’t, already knowing the answer. Besides, what good would it do? The line in the sand had definitely been drawn—hell, it had been drawn before now, only he hadn’t accepted it. Now he had no choice. She’d hit him square in the face with the cold fact that he’d been replaced. Besides, this torture for both of them had gone on long enough. “Yes, of the weather.”
“I think anyone with any sense would be frightened.”
“That’s true,” he said in a defeated tone. “I can’t stand the thought of Randi being out there in this mess.”
Ouch! Another sudden prick of the old conscience. Thoughts of his sister and mother had taken a back seat to his renewed obsession with Amanda.
“Me, either, so let’s pray she’s not.”
He kept his mouth shut; he was too busy kicking his butt.
“Will you let me know when and if you hear something?”
“That’s a switch.” His voice was rough-edged. “Earlier, you made it clear you didn’t give a damn about my family.”
A faint color invaded her neck. “Well, I do, at least about Randi.”
“Okay,” he said on a sigh. “I’ll let you know.”
She remained silent, dragging the tip of her tongue across her lower lip, leaving behind a light sheen of moisture. He groaned inwardly, that gesture bringing about an instant reaction.
“Amanda—”
A panicked look crossed her face at the same time her phone went berserk.
She didn’t meet his eyes. “I have to go.”
He didn’t know how long he stood there after she had disappeared. Cursing again, he turned and made his way into his office, wishing he was on a slow boat to China.
Chapter Fourteen
Damn Malcom Riley.
Residue from his skirmish with his co-worker still lingered in Noah’s mind, keeping his temper on a short fuse. No doubt the hospital needed another surgeon’s help, but— It was the “but” he couldn’t get past. He wished someone besides Riley had been able to best the weather and get to the hospital.
Still, he couldn’t afford to look a gift horse in the mouth. If Riley was all he could get, he’d take him, though he damn sure wasn’t going to take any more of his bull.
Noah didn’t know how long this moment of unplanned indulgence would last. For now, no one was scheduled for surgery. In a blink of an eye, that could change. If so, then Riley could sure as hell take over, earn his keep for a change.
Noah knew he’d more than earned his. Someone else’s patient had started hemorrhaging internally and he’d just left surgery after opening him back up and repairing the bleeder. Now, after shrugging off another set of soiled greens, he once again stepped into the shower.
The hot sting of the water felt good, though he didn’t dare dally. Five minutes of shut-eye was what he really needed, then he’d be ready for the next round of emergencies, just in the event that Riley cut out on his responsibilities, which he very well could. After all, Riley wasn’t on call, nor was he the main
reason for Noah’s ill humor.
Hell, he could handle his competitor, despite the fact that Riley had sworn to get even. In retrospect, Noah couldn’t believe he’d blown up so quickly. While he’d never had patience with him, the thought of actually belting the other man in the jaw had never been an option.
If Amanda hadn’t interrupted…
Thank God she had, or he might have been called on the carpet by the board for conduct inappropriate for a surgeon. Hell, he still might, if Riley had his way.
A bitter twist rearranged Noah’s lips. He’d worry about that later. Right now, he had another more pressing problem. Amanda. She was the source of his discontent.
He ought to be ashamed, too, and he was. Yet he couldn’t seem to leave her alone even though he knew he should. His body had taken on the personality of an out-of-control roller coaster. He was powerless to do anything other than ride it out, knowing he was heading for ultimate disaster.
What he ought to be doing was concentrating on his job, keeping his mind sharp for the other tragedies that were sure to come. Even as he soaped himself, Noah heard the blaring sirens. Also, there was his missing sister and frantic mother. He should be agonizing over them, rather than over a situation he couldn’t change.
Instead, he was knee-deep in self-recriminations over Amanda. When she had first admitted there was someone else in her life, he’d been pea-green with jealousy. Realizing how juvenile and asinine that emotion was did nothing to temper it. It was there, inside him, ripping him up. She was a beautiful woman any man would be proud to call his own.
If only…
Put a lid on it, Howell, he told himself. He had lost her due to his own mess-up. Someone else was reaping what he’d taught her. He groaned out loud. When they had first made love, Amanda hadn’t been a virgin, though she might as well have been.
Later, she had told him the only other man in her life hadn’t taken the time to please her, only himself.
“I’m glad,” Noah had whispered thickly, gazing down into her lovely uplifted face.
“Why?” Her voice had been as breathless as her eyes were wide. “I…I thought you’d be disappointed.”
“Never. In fact, I’m glad I was the one who showed you how great making love could be.”
She’d been a perfect student, too. Underneath that shyness, he’d found a hotbed of need that matched his own, a need he’d unleashed with his tongue and his lips.
After that first marathon night of making love, they couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. Every time he had been with her, all he could think about was how it felt to be inside her, with her on top, riding him until they were both drained.
He wished that was happening right now.
An expletive rivaled another groan. He wanted her. But dammit, he didn’t want to want her, knowing she would never forgive him for what he’d done. Noah leaned his head back against the shower stall, letting the hot water continue to hit his flesh like tiny whiplashes.
Then he smiled, suddenly, remembering a particular time they had showered together. As soon as his shift had ended, he’d gone to her house. She’d been on her day off. When she hadn’t responded to the doorbell, he’d gone inside, straight to the bedroom. That was when he’d heard the sound of water.
Grinning, he’d scrambled out of his hospital garb and walked into the bathroom. She’d been facing the opposite direction and obviously hadn’t heard him, which had been to his advantage.
For a moment, he’d stood there and stared at the perfection of her shoulders, her narrow waist, her hips, her buttocks, all of which he’d touched and tongued the evening before.
Stifling a moan, he’d walked to the shower and eased open the door, his arousal hot and aching. Swinging around, Amanda had stared at him with parted lips. Then, lowering her eyes, she smiled and held out her arms.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered against her wet, hungry lips.
“So are you.”
“I missed you.”
She smiled. “I can see.”
“That’s what I had in mind,” he responded with a chuckle.
“In mind?”
His chuckle turned into a full-fledged laugh. That was when she latched onto his tongue and drew it into her mouth. Feeling as if she’d just struck a match and tossed it into his gut, his hands slid down her sides to her buttocks, where he molded her against him, wanting her to feel the ever-hardening pressure, demanding that she know how much he wanted her.
Again she took control, choosing that moment to suck on his tongue with the same eagerness he’d shown as he’d sucked on her nipples. His head spun and his ears rang. But more than that, an emotion overtook him that he had never experienced. He knew then he never wanted to be without her.
“Noah!”
“Me, too!” He matched her needy cry by lifting the cheeks of her buttocks, encouraging her to circle his thighs with her slippery legs. The timing was on target; he entered her high and strong.
“Oh, yes,” she whimpered, her lips melting against his.
Thrusting her back against the Fiberglas wall, he moved inside her hard and deep. Following several deep grunts, they both exploded at the same time.
Their hard-hitting breath, mingled with the sting of the water, surrounded them as they searched for the energy to move. At last, Noah found the wherewithal to scoop her into his arms and carry her to the bed.
Once there, he had every intention of kissing her into another frenzy when she shook her head, then pushed him onto his back. “It’s my turn.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, bent over, then took him in her mouth. He stood the heat of her lips and tongue as long as he could, then he reached down and pulled her on top of him.
Lifting himself onto his elbows, he surrounded a nipple with his mouth, and they began to move. Only after the momentum reached a feverish pitch did he let go of her nipple, grab her hips, as flesh pounded against flesh.
“God, Amanda,” he said in an awed tone, after she was sprawled across him in an exhausted heap, “I couldn’t bear it if you ever left me.”
She stared at him out of glazed eyes and whispered, “What are you saying?”
“That I love you.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Are you sure it’s not just lust?”
He kissed her hard. “Oh, it’s that, too. But, since I’ve never asked a woman to marry me, it’s more than lust. Trust me on that.”
Amanda made a strangled sound and her eyes widened. “Is that a proposal?”
“I’m asking you not only to share my bed, but my life, and my career.” He smiled. “What d’ya say?”
She dug her hands into the hair on his chest. “You got a deal, buster.”
“Let’s make that a done deal.”
A month later, that done deal became a dead deal.
Suddenly, Noah shook the water out of his eyes, which had the desired effect and brought him out of the past.
Cursing, he turned off the faucet and stepped out on the rug. He reached for the towel when the phone rang. Naked, he trudged into his office and snatched up his cell phone.
Static greeted him.
“Hello,” he said in a loud voice.
“Noah!”
Randi! Thank God.
“Noah?” she repeated, her voice sounding as if she was in a well.
“Speak louder, I can’t hear you.”
More static.
“Randi, can you hear me? Are you all right?”
“Noah, I—”
The dial tone suddenly bit him in the ear.
“Dammit!” he cried, then slammed down the receiver, only to stand and stare at it, willing her to call back.
She didn’t. He called her back, but it went straight to voicemail. At least she wasn’t dead. Although he hadn’t let himself admit that thought, it had occurred to him. Now, though, he could let his mother know he’d heard Randi’s voice.
/> His phone dinged. Text message. “ER STAT.” Damn. He’d have to call Melissa later.
He tore out of the room toward ER.
Chapter Fifteen
Thank goodness for the reprieve, Amanda thought, lifting her aching shoulders up and down. She was tired; she couldn’t remember ever being this worn-out. Every muscle in her body screamed for relief in the way of a hot shower and sleep.
That wasn’t going to happen, not anytime soon. She had decided the shift was interminable, and she knew everyone else did, too. Still, the lull was a blessing, and the ER team was taking advantage of it.
“That was the longest night of my life,” Liz was saying, “I swear it.”
Dr. Karen Sloane smiled but with lax enthusiasm. “Me, too. I feel like someone’s made me walk a thousand miles on a stair climber.”
Doris Conner made a face. “Holy cow, that thought’s worse than actually staying here.” She held up her hand before anyone had a chance to comment. “I know, I need to walk the StairMaster, but guess what?”
“You’re not,” Amanda said, smiling for the first time in a long while.
“You got that right.”
“I’ll tell you what I want,” Beth put in, “is a stiff drink. I don’t care if it is 10:00 a.m.”
Karen gave a thumbs-up. “I hear you.”
“Me, too, whatever it is.”
The four women focused their attention on Noah, who strode into the trauma room where they were gathered. For a second, Amanda’s heart kicked in her chest, a reaction she wondered if she’d ever get past. But then, Noah had always affected her that way from the first time she’d met him. That was why she had fallen instantly and completely in love.
Had. Key word, here. She had to keep that in the forefront of her mind, especially during the harrowing hours that lay ahead. To do so wouldn’t be a piece of cake, either. Already, it had turned into a monumental endeavor. The knowledge that she wouldn’t be at Vanderbilt much longer gave her comfort. There was no longer room for both her and Noah.
If that was taking the coward’s way out, then so be it. She was a coward, and she’d admit it.
“We were discussing how appealing a drink would be about now,” Doris said, filling the short silence.
Lightning Strikes Page 10
