by K. T. Richey
Loud doesn’t mean anointed.
“What?” Misha responded to the voice in her spirit.
Loud doesn’t mean anointed. If you can hear me when I whisper to you, don’t you think I can hear your whisper too?
Misha felt like a freed slave when her car exited the parking lot of the church. She didn’t want to ever go back to that church again.
That night, alone in her apartment, as she began to pray, Misha felt a coolness come over her. She began to worship. She lay stretched out on her floor as she felt the calmness engulf her body. Then, suddenly, a scripture came into her spirit: Revelation 3:1–3. She stood up and opened her Bible to the scripture and began to read.
To the angel of the church in Sardis write: These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deed; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief and you will not know at what time I will come to you.
Misha read the scripture again. “God give me understanding,” she prayed.
I sent you to that church so you can see a church that has the reputation of being alive but is really dead. Go back to the Remnant Church. Tell the pastor to repent. Tell the people to repent for I will surely come to them if they fail to obey my commands.
She began to talk to the Lord as if He were there in person in her apartment. “God, is this you? How can I go to that pastor? I saw how many bodyguards they had around him today. Even the people in the church could not get to him. How can I and he doesn’t even know me?”
Go to the Remnant Church and tell them thus saith the Lord.
Misha was nervous. How was she going to get those people to listen to her? In a church like that, how was she going to be able to talk with the pastor?
The next day, she attempted to call the Remnant church to schedule an appointment with the pastor but was told he did not counsel congregants or set appointments with people he did not know. Yet, she was still being tormented by the voice in her spirit telling her to return to the church.
She tried to continue her week as normal. When she accidentally ran into Roger, she acted as if she didn’t see him, and looked for the nearest escape. She was glad for the weekend. She tried to relax. But she felt more pressure on her to go to the Remnant Church. On Saturday night, she could not sleep. She awakened suddenly from her sleep.
You are walking in disobedience. Do as I have appointed you.
She tried to get back to sleep. However, fear raced into her room and into her body. She began to tremble. “God, they don’t know me.”
I have made a way.
Misha didn’t sleep anymore that night. Sunday morning she got dressed and drove to the Remnant Church. She sat in her car, watching people walk into the church. She prayed to herself and slowly walked into the church. The same thing was going on as last Sunday. She sat down in a seat near the front as she felt led by the Holy Spirit.
The service continued as usual. However, this time, the pastor said he felt like someone had a testimony.
Raise your hand.
Misha hesitated but raised her hand. People started clapping and jumping up and down as the pastor walked up to her. She nervously took the microphone. She began to speak.
“I attended your service last week.” Her voice trembled. “That night as I began to pray, the Spirit of the Lord came upon me and this is what He said.” She began to tell them everything the Lord had said.
When she finished, the sanctuary was quiet. She looked at the pastor, who looked like he was totally disgusted with her. His face was blanketed in white as if all the blood had rushed from his body.
“I rebuke you, you ungodly witch,” he said to her.
The congregation followed his lead. At the pastor’s urging, they began speaking in tongues and trying to cast out the devil in her. He asked the bodyguards to escort her out of the church. Two large men took her by her arms and walked her to a room at the side of the sanctuary. They shoved her onto a small chair and began yelling at her as if she were a criminal. Then, they snatched her purse from her. Misha jumped out of the chair with her arms stretched, trying to get her purse back. Another guy grabbed her around the waist and pushed her back into the chair.
“We’ve seen psychos like you here before. You can’t curse us. We have divine order. Our pastor is a saint and chosen by God.”
Misha could only watch as a man rummaged through her purse, pulling out her wallet. He took out her driver’s license and placed it on a copier. He wrote something on the copy of her license. Then, he tossed it back into her purse and gave it back to her.
The man tapped the earpiece in his ear. He turned. Misha could hear him talking but could not understand what he was saying. The man grabbed her under her arm and pulled her up. Three other men surrounded her. They quickly began walking her toward the vestibule of the church. Misha could hear the chaotic sounds coming from the sanctuary: service as usual. The men escorted her to the front door.
“Where is your car?” the front man asked.
Misha pointed to the right and the five of them began walking until Misha spotted her car. Before the man released his grip, another man took out a pen and wrote her tag number on a pad he held in his hands.
Misha felt totally humiliated and violated as she left the parking lot.
I will bless you for your obedience.
This didn’t comfort her. She wanted to get home and take a shower. She had to get the residue of the Remnant Church off her body. She felt so dirty, as if she had been raped. She did not understand what happened that day. She knew she heard the voice of the Lord speaking to her. Doubt welled in her. Did she do the right thing by speaking up during service? Should she have waited until after service to try to speak with the pastor? She was embarrassed. Was there anyone she knew there to witness her being thrown out of the church? What would people say? All kinds of doubt ran through her mind.
That night, as she worshipped, the Holy Spirit began to minister to her and she finally had some peace with what had happened that day. She tried to focus on a television show when she heard, I am sending you back to Washington and you’re going to be there awhile.
“Washington? Why do I need to go back to Washington?” Misha was curious of the thought. After graduating from Howard, she never expected to return except for reunions. Why would God send her back to Washington? She had no desire to live there. But, if that’s what God wanted she knew He probably had a plan.
“God give me peace with moving back to DC,” she prayed. The self-doubt began to walk through her mind again. She struggled all night to get rid of the negative thoughts. She prayed to God for strength, which was something she found herself doing quite a bit lately.
Chapter 15
Misha was looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with her grandmother. Her family always gathered together this time of the year. She looked forward to playing with India and Asa, her brother Justin’s children. More than anything, she looked forward to the time off she had during the holidays. She couldn’t wait. She already had it planned out. She was going to spend Thanksgiving Day at her grandmother’s and try not to get into an argument with her mother. On Saturday, she was going shopping with Judy and her kids. Then on Sunday, she was going to church. She didn’t know where. All she knew was she was going to church Sunday and nothing was stopping her.
Misha sighed, listening to yet another class complain about the football team’s losing season. She wished Mr. Davis had not announced the Eagles lost their last game by a whopping thirty-six points. This was their seventh losing season and they had the reputation around town of being losers. The lower classmen on the team were vowing next year would be different. One of her students told her his father was hiring a pro football player to train them in the spr
ing. He wanted to graduate with a winning team. With all the talk about the football season and the upcoming holidays, it was hard for her to get her students focused.
After school, Misha walked into her apartment with her arms filled with groceries and her mail. She placed the bags down on the kitchen countertop and began to sort through her mail. She saw an envelope from Clark Atlanta. She threw the other envelopes on the table and tore open the letter. She screamed when she read the first line.
Congratulations, it is our honor to welcome you to our School of Education, Master of Education program.
Misha jumped around the room. She didn’t expect to get accepted so quickly. She read the letter over and over. She screamed when she realized she was able to start school in January. She picked up her phone and called Judy to give her the good news. Then she called her grandmother with the news. She wanted to celebrate and she knew exactly how.
Misha jumped in her car and began to drive to Whole Foods. She wanted chocolate cake and ice cream. She was really a party animal now. Misha laughed. It was not too long ago she would have celebrated at a club. Instead she was celebrating alone with a rare treat. Besides, to her it was a holiday week, a major pig-out holiday, so it didn’t matter if she started on Monday or Thursday. She would think about her weight after the holidays.
Misha stood at the bakery counter waiting for the clerk to finish packaging her cake when she saw a man she knew approach her.
“Hey, Misha. How you doing?” It was Carlos Witherspoon, someone she knew from Kingdom Faith.
“Hey, Carlos. How are you? Look at you. You lost weight.” They embraced each other. Misha was happy to see him. He was one of the few people she trusted at Kingdom Faith. “How’s Bishop?”
“I don’t know. You know, Nicole and I decided to leave Kingdom Faith a couple of months after you did. We couldn’t understand what Bishop did to you. After he did that, rumors started all over the church. A number of people left. With all the confusion, we decided we wanted to go somewhere where we could hear the Word of God. Hey, Nicole’s pregnant,” Carlos said with a smile.
“You’re kidding. You guys are going to have a baby? That’s terrific. Congratulations. When is she due?”
“In about three months. We’re happy and nervous at the same time.” Carlos stood with his hands on his hips.
“I’m sure you are. I know it can be exciting.”
“You’ll find out one day.”
“If the Lord’s willing.”
“Well, Misha, where do you go to church now?”
“Nowhere really. I’m still looking.”
“Why don’t you come to our church? You’ll love our pastor. You’ll love the church. It’s in the country, but it doesn’t have all the drama.”
“Are you the minister of music?”
“No, but I do play keyboard for one of the choirs. Why don’t you come? I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”
“I think I will. You’ll have to give me directions.”
Carlos reached on the counter and picked up a napkin. Misha handed him a pen. He began writing directions to his church on the napkin when Misha spotted Roger walking toward the deli counter. Carlos turned to see who she was looking at.
“You two still seeing each other?” he asked her.
“Goodness no. I don’t even know what I saw in him in the first place.”
He handed the pen back to Misha. “You know, we were all wondering the same thing. We were praying you find him out before you got hurt. Nicole grew up in that church. She has known him for years. She said he was a user and loser. I stopped fooling with him. He lied too much for me.”
“Well, it’s too late for that. I don’t want to talk about him. Let’s talk about your new baby. Is it a boy or girl?” Misha took her cake from the counter and continued her conversation with Carlos.
Carlos received a call from his wife and he left to get her the Italian food she was craving. Misha walked to the freezer aisle to get her ice cream.
“Hey, Mimi.” She heard Roger’s voice behind her.
“Don’t talk to me. I don’t know you.” Misha walked away from him.
“Come on. Don’t act like that. We’re not at school.”
Misha continued walking as if she didn’t hear him talking. She paid for her food and drove home. She prayed she would not have any drama at work the next day. She prayed for peace on her job.
By the time she arrived home, she had lost her appetite for ice cream and cake. As she placed her items in the refrigerator and freezer, she asked herself why Roger still had control over her. It had been over a year since they broke up and it shouldn’t have bothered her anymore. But it did. He had a way of turning a good day into a bad one and she was sick of it.
That night she began to pray that God release her from every man she ever connected with who was not her husband. She asked God to release every physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual connection she had with any man outside her husband. She asked God to cleanse her from the sins of her past.
The next day she dreaded going to work. She fully expected Roger to say something about her. If she could get through the day, she would only have Wednesday to deal with him and then time off for the Thanksgiving holiday. She avoided Roger all day by staying in her classroom. Thrilled that the day went by uneventful, she took a long sigh of relief.
That night she read her letter from Clark Atlanta again. She was at peace as she ate her ice cream and cake from the night before for dinner. Sorting through the mail from the previous day, she noticed another letter from Clark Atlanta. Opening the letter, she screamed when she saw it was a scholarship offer.
She leaped as she praised God for blessing her. This time she would not have to take out another student loan. Her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID. She did not recognize the number. Her hand reached out to pick up the receiver.
No. Don’t answer it.
She drew her hand back and waited for the machine to get it. Her hands flew to her mouth when she heard Gloria’s voice.
“I want to let you know Roger is not interested in you. He doesn’t want to be with a crazy whore. He is with me now. Stop calling him and don’t call me either. If you don’t leave us alone, I’m going to Mr. Davis and the superintendant. Get a life. Fake Christian.” The connection was broken.
Misha chuckled. How could this woman be so vulnerable? Roger was lying to her. She had not called Roger since they broke up. He had called her numerous times and she did not return his calls. But, this phone call signaled one thing—Roger was up to his old tricks again. Probably mad because she did not speak to him at the store.
Her phone number was unlisted, which meant she probably got the number from Roger. It was time to change her phone number. Not only would it keep Roger from calling, it would keep the few Kingdom Faith people who called her from time to time from calling her with gossip. She took the tape out of her machine and labeled it in case she needed it in the future.
The next day she tried to avoid everybody by staying in her classroom all day. If she could make it to the end of the day she would have freedom, at least for a few days. She rushed to her classroom without speaking to anyone, including Judy. She did not go to the staff Thanksgiving breakfast that morning before school, trying to avoid Roger and Gloria. However, when she opened the door her classroom, Gloria was waiting inside, sitting on her desk.
“Gloria, what are you doing here?” Misha stood in the doorway.
“I’m trying to save your job.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Did you get my message?”
“If you’re talking about the message on my answering machine last night, I got it.” Misha left the door open as she walked into the classroom and set her bag on the desk, refusing to be intimidated by the tall woman sitting on her desk. She watched as Gloria got up to close the door. “Don’t close that. Leave it open.”
“Whatever. If you want everybody to know your business, that’s y
ou,” she said, waving her hand in the air.
“Gloria, what is it? I have a lot to do before class starts.”
“Roger told me what happened at the grocery store.”
“What happened?”
“Yeah, he told me he ran into you at the store and you attacked him. He said the store security had to escort you out of the store.”
“I know you don’t believe that.” Misha started laughing and sat down at her desk. She opened the drawer and began to move her hands in it like she was searching for something. “Where does he get that stuff?”
“You’re laughing. I don’t think it’s funny. If I go to Mr. Davis, you could lose your job. Roger told me you’re on probation for the last incident.”
Misha couldn’t help herself. Her head flew back and she laughed even harder. However, she kept her hand in her drawer. “Please don’t tell me anything else he said. I can’t take this. He’s using you. Don’t be stupid. You’re his little messenger girl. If you’re not careful, he’s going to do the same thing to you too.”
“I know you’re jealous because Roger is with me now. You know when he’s with me, in my bed, he doesn’t even think about you. He’s mine. All mine.”
“So you’re telling me you and Roger are having a sexual relationship? Is that what you’re saying?” Misha removed one hand and pointed at Gloria.
“You heard me. That’s exactly what I said.” Gloria walked closer to Misha’s desk.
“He’s a minister.”
“He’s a man. He loves me and I love him. We’re going to get married. I go to his church with him.”
“You ride in the same car with him?” Misha kept her hand in her drawer and continued her conversation with Gloria.
“I drive my own car because he has to be at the church early. You know he’s a pastor. But, that’s none of your business. The bottom line is if you don’t stay away from him, I’m going to—”
“To what, Gloria? Are you threatening me?”
“All I’m going to say is you better stay away from him or you’re going to be sorry.”
