She chuckles. “I’m sure that won’t be a problem. Besides, this place has all sorts of things to help in that area. Just ask Trina and Tiff.”
I cover a laugh and begin to fidget. First my hand tapping on the arm of the couch. Next the toe of my shoe on the bright tiled floor. “I don’t want anyone to see me.”
She shakes her head. “They don’t have to.”
I motion toward the dressing area, knowing Trina will appear at any minute. My mom glances toward the other corner of the shop. “Those are dressing rooms too.”
I spin around to see. “They are?”
She nods.
“Okay. I’ll hurry.” In seconds flat I secure my dream gown and am closing myself into one of the large, carpeted stalls. My adrenaline is pumping like I’ve started a full-on sprint. I can hear Trina talking to the sales woman; it makes me realize how close she was to seeing me sneak in here.
I waste no time in getting out of my T-shirt and cut-off sweats. The gown is absolutely stunning. Nothing bright or flashy like red or blue; it’s a color I can’t quite describe but my mom calls it champagne. Elegant beadwork traces gorgeous patterns along the bodice. Light, flowing layers of sheer, jewel encrusted tulle make up the skirt. Carefully I unzip the back, remove it from the hanger, and dare myself to step inside.
Once the thin straps are looped over my shoulders, I spin to face the mirror, unable to wait another minute.
I feared – very badly –while waiting on that couch that if I did work up the nerve to try on this dress it would be an utter disappointment. I worried that my plain appearance would somehow clash with something so elegant. Yet I can admit – at least to myself – that this is not the case. I step closer to the mirror, holding the unzipped dress with one hand, and lifting my hair with the other.
I’ve never been a fancy, flashy pretty-like-my-sisters sort of girl. I’m more simple. Common, I guess. But in this moment, in this very dress, I could swear the girl in the mirror is beautiful.
I smile and fight back tears all at once. I feel relief above all else. Relief that I can actually like myself in an evening gown, even if I may never have the occasion to wear one during my high school life.
A wave of disappointment pulls me from that spot as I realize that Kole will never see me in this dress. Never see me looking the way I do right now.
“Do you need help with the zipper?” It’s my mom. Her voice is just a whisper, which tells me that Trina must be trying on dress number two hundred and thirteen.
I pull back the curtain before I can chicken out.
My mom’s hand shoots to her mouth. Tears fill her eyes. Actual tears.
My face warms. “It’s a pretty dress,” I mumble, looking down at the ground.
“It’s a beautiful girl,” she corrects, “in a pretty dress. Oh, Kylie, I love it.”
I nod. “Yeah well, there’s no need to zip it up or anything. I’m not going, so…”
But my mom’s hands are on my shoulders before I can finish. “Turn around,” she encourages. She zips up the back, and I can hardly believe it actually fits. I haven’t considered whether it would be too big or too little. Only that it couldn’t possibly fit just right because the chances are so slim.
“This was made for you,” she says.
The sales woman rushes over with a pair of heels. “Here, try these on.”
I stare at her for a moment, wondering if she’s been looking at me through some hidden surveillance camera. Or did she simply see me sneak in with the dress? Either way, I step into the matching heels and sigh. They’re gorgeous. A little big, but a perfect compliment to the dress.
“Let me grab you the size down,” she says.
“No thanks,” I say, stepping out of the heels. “I’m not going to the dance. I just thought I’d try this on. You know, for fun.”
“Well that’s too bad, dear. You look absolutely stunning in this dress.”
I look at the bottom corner of the mirror, reminding myself of what my mom has drilled into my head for the last ten years of my life. Learn how to take a compliment, Kylie.
My sisters have it down to a T. I’m a work in progress. I channel that happy place inside me once more. The part that is grateful just to look nice in the dress. I pull in a deep breath, set my eyes right back at the woman, and smile. “Thanks.”
I’ve been working my way out of a funk all afternoon by dribbling the soccer ball through a course I set up in the basement. Stacks of old books make up cones, spaced two-three feet apart. I weave through them, picking up speed with short, precise kicks. I can’t help but recall doing this with Kole in the backyard; the mere memory makes my heart skip.
I work to stay focused, dribbling back and forth while my brain does the same. Dress shopping today wasn’t so bad, while I was there anyway. But now I’m just stuck with the aftermath: no dress, no date, and no dance.
I round the final stack of books while wondering if I’ll hear from Kole today. He hasn’t called the house or texted me through Melanie’s phone and I can’t help but think Eli told him what I said and now he’s weirded out.
I pop the ball harder than needed and sigh when it flies toward my bedroom door.
I groan, recalling the gorgeous dress at the store. I so, so, so love that dress. Love! But I hate that I’ll never have the chance to wear it.
“Hey,” Melanie says, bouncing down the stairs. “Kole’s texting you.”
My heart - already pumping with exertion – kicks up an extra beat. “I wonder if he’s going to Hawaii,” I say, pacing the floor to cool down.
Melanie pulls a sad sort of pout and hands over the phone. “Are you sure you don’t want to come sledding with us?” She’s bundled up from head to toe. Boots, hat and all. “Dad said Conrad and his little sister could come. Lance is already here with Trina, and Evan is on his way.”
“Hmm,” I say. “Conrad? The one you’re going to the dance with?”
She nods. “You should tell Kole & Eli to come too.”
I cup the phone in my palm, anxious to read the text. “Maybe I will. You go ahead. If they want to come, we’ll join you guys out back.” After all, sledding at the Bronson’s takes place in the massive mountainous hills in our very backyard.
“Okay.” Melanie grins, and then reaches out to give me a giant, puffy-coat bear hug. “Thanks for helping me pick out a dress this morning. It really means a lot to me that you came.”
A feeling of warmth spreads over my body. “It was fun. I’m glad you talked me into it.”
Melanie bolts back toward the stairs with a squeal. I might have wondered what had her in such a great mood but it goes without saying.
As soon as she leaves I turn my attention to the phone. I take a deep breath, swipe my thumb over the screen to view the text, and read it aloud. “Are you home right now?”
Whoa. I stand up and begin to pace.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why did he just ask me that?” It’s the exact text Trina got before she got asked. It’s the very text Melanie got from Jacob’s little sister before she got asked. Kole asked that very question about Melanie so his replacement guy could ask. It’s like, step one in the beautiful sequence of asking a girl to a dance: Make sure she’s home. Ask her to the dance. Watch from a distant spot while she opens the door.
Is it possible Kole just found out that the trip to Hawaii is a no-go? Do I dare even hope for such a thing?
I type back with frantic, clumsy thumbs. Three simple letters.
Y.
E.
S.
I scurry into my room, toss the phone onto the bed, and scramble. Kole might actually be on his way this very moment. I can’t answer the door in grungy soccer shorts and an oversized T. I have to look good; really good.
I do a quick pit check, relieved that they’re still fresh and dry; thank heavens I didn’t work up much of a sweat. The view out the window shows me just how dark it’s growing outside. Dad must have the flood lights on outback for sledding; I can see
the unnatural glow seeping from the back side of the house.
Quickly, I wiggle into my favorite pair of tattered jeans and pull on a sweater that Mom says is the best color for my skin. Close to the color of the dress I tried on, with a little more pink. I run a brush through my hair and comb a wand of mascara through my lashes. I opt for lip gloss over my usual ChapStick and, as a final touch, put in a pair of silver stud earrings.
My heart is going crazy. I check the phone again. Nothing. Holy moly! He’s probably on his way. Maybe Cassie and Meg are in the car as well. I feel sad – for a moment – that my family won’t be there to see it too. No, I tell myself. It’ll be perfect. Besides, I can always show them when they get back in. Sure they’ll miss the initial opening-the-door excitement but that’s okay.
I race upstairs and pace the front room with the lights off, like Trina did while she was waiting for someone to ask her. I tell myself over and over that it’s happening. It’s really happening. Which means that Kole actually does like me!
While pacing south, I have a view of the Christmas tree, all lit up and decorated to the hilt. When pacing north, the piano stands central in my view. Christmas decorations adorn the piece, making me remember about the patchwork of photos in the hall.
Am I really about to get a picture in there as well?
I check the mirror again, blowing out a breath through tight lips. “Jeez, Kylie. Get a grip.”
The phone in my hand buzzes. I swipe the screen before realizing it isn’t a text, but a social media notification. I grimace, trying to get out of the site to give Melanie her privacy when I notice a new post from Kole.
I scan over it, my jaw dropping right to the floor. My hopes fall somewhere beneath that.
Headed to Hawaii.
Merry Christmas guys.
Happy New Year too.
See you next year.
He’s posted a picture of himself with it. It’s obvious he’s sitting in the passenger side of a car, the dark night sky behind him. The airport, I realize. He’s heading to the airport. “What in the world?”
My heartbeat moves right into the center of my head where it throbs and aches. My chest is this hollow hurting hole. I was so stupid to think things would be different this time. So naive to think Kole was actually falling for me the way I am for him.
I torture myself with visions of his face while scanning through the photos on his page; most posted by his mom or teammates or the moms of his teammates. I spot several of the things I love about him: that confident look in his eye. The dreamy quirk of his brow. That lift at one side of his lip. Oh, I’m so in love with him that it hurts.
I pick up a steady pace once more, faster this time, dying to somehow jet right out of my skin. The view of the Christmas tree. The piano. The tree. The piano. The text.
Text? I shoot a quick look at the phone to see that it is – in fact – a text and it is – in fact – from him. One single word.
Hey.
Yeah, hey! I’d give him hey. My thumbs tap out my angry question.
Are you going to Hawaii?
Heart – hurting.
Chest – burning.
Eyes – stinging.
Yes.
Tears – forming.
Why didn’t you tell me?
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
It all happened so fast.
More waiting. I drop into the couch. I have nothing to say. I am crushed. So crushed I feel like I could cry but I’m still too filled with false-alarm happiness. Residual excitement for something that will not take place. And then it hits me.
Hey, why did you ask me if I was home?
His answer comes in pieces.
Oh, because my mom got a holiday plant and she doesn’t want it to die… I was wondering if you’d mind running over to my place to water it once or twice while we’re gone.
I nod, imagining what it might be like to be in Kole’s house without him there. I picture myself sprawling out on his bed and smelling his cologne and crying over him while looking at the trophies and photos on his dresser.
Sure. I can do that.
Thanks. I left the key to our house on your porch.
I tilt my head and type,
You did? When?
When I asked if you were home. I didn’t have time to talk to you like I thought I might. Sorry. I wanted to say goodbye.
Well at least he wanted to say goodbye. That’s something. I use that knowledge to peel my butt off the couch and shuffle toward the door.
Depressed. I’m seriously depressed now but I’ll get over it. The heavy weight that slows me down as I trudge past the decorated piano will lighten over time. It will. And because I’m learning to be a more decent person, I’m going to be happy for – not only Melanie – but for Trina and Tiff. I am. I’ll be happy for Cassie and Meg too. I’ll help them get ready and…
My thoughts are interrupted when I pull open the door and catch sight of a cute little box on my porch. I tuck Melanie’s phone into my pocket and press open the screen door. “Hmm.”
I alternate feet on the frozen cement of my porch as I snag the small package off the frost-covered doormat. It’s bright white with a big red ribbon wrapped around it and a bow at the top. It takes me a moment to realize there’s a tag there. I lift it to see beyond the bow and read the five letters printed there. Kylie.
My heart races into action. A pumping, jumping mass. Forget about an invitation – Kole left me a gift. A thoughtful Christmas gift that he was probably too embarrassed to hand me face-to-face. It has to be a gift because nobody would wrap up a simple key-to-water-the-plants in such a cute way.
I pull at the bow, lift open the flaps, and stretch my neck to look inside. It’s empty, but there’s writing on the inside of the box, a few words across the bottom. Go to the backyard.
My heart sputters. I pop my head back inside the house to search for my boots or Mom’s boots or pretty much anything I can shove my feet into. I see my own boots first, placed perfectly just beside the door. Did Melanie do that? Does she know what’s happening? Is this really what I think it is?
I pull the boots on as quickly as I can and snatch my coat out of the closet beside me. The door creaks as I push it open. May as well go through the front door where my journey began.
I walk along the porch, around the carport, and onto the snowy ground leading to the backyard. I was right about the floodlights. They are bright and blazing and making me squint as the yard comes into view. Bright. White. And empty. I don’t see my family. I don’t see Kole. But I do see something in the snow: Letters. Huge ones carefully stomped into the snowy surface.
P.L.E.
A.S.E
“Please…”
I continue to identify the letters, saying each word as it becomes clear. “Go. To. The. Dance. With. Me.”
I grin so wide I can barely feel my face. I step further into the yard, looking for some sort of hint as to what I should do next. And then I see it. A cluster of pinecones lined up in a row with a triangle at the tip. An arrow.
“Okay,” I say, walking in the direction it shows. As I make my way toward the far edge of the yard, the part leading to the stretch of mountain land beyond, I hear whispers and giggles. A few steps more and I see Eli, jumping up and down. He waves at me.
I wave back, feeling my face flood with warmth as more people come into view. Cassie, who’s covering her mouth and nose with her scarf. Meg. Mike. Chase. Melanie.
My smile grows as I see Tiff, Trina, and my parents too, who also throw me a wave. I return it with a grin, continuing to scan over the crowd.
Once I realize Kole is nowhere in sight, they all start to point toward the giant pine tree behind me. I take a few steps before I see him.
Kole.
He’s lit by the bright, golden bulbs. His cheeks are rosy and red and his deep brown eyes are on me. He remains silent while holding up a sign for me to read. The surface covered with bold black print.
Please say yes.
My heart is a happy, fluttering mass. I feel like it could somehow lift Kole and me off the ground and carry us up into the clouds.
Before I can form the single word, Kole spins the sign around and stretches an arm toward me. He hands me a Sharpie and supports the sign with his inner arms.
Six blank squares line one side of the sign. Next to each square is a different answer. The first three make me laugh:
No thanks
As if
Not in your wildest dreams
I twist the lid off the Sharpie as I read the last three:
Why not?
I’d love to
It would make my wildest dreams come true
I move toward him with the marker as the crowd – once at the other side of the yard – gathers closer. Whispering. Oohing. Ahhing.
I look at him, holding his gaze as his eyes sparkle and gleam and tempt me more than they ever have. I bring the marker to the center of the poster and put a giant checkmark in the fourth box down, next to why not?
Our small crowd cheers. Kole’s lip twitches.
I move my hand down and make a check in the next box. I’d love to.
This time they cheer even louder. I glance over at their smiling faces, touched to see my dad toss a triumphant fist in the air. I bring my attention back to Kole. His eyes drop to the sign, seeming to point out that last option on the board.
I smile. Bite my lip. And bring the marker back to the sign, checking that final, oh-so-true declaration. It would make my wildest dreams come true.
“Kylie,” my sisters holler from the top of the stairs. “He’s here.”
I take a deep breath while walking toward my mirror in my new heels. I’ve had exactly five days to get used to them and I’m not doing half bad.
Getting Kole for Christmas Page 6
