by Eden O'Neill
I was unable to do anything else.
“Em?”
Royal had knocked first before speaking, but I hadn’t said anything. Adjusting my legs, I cradled my arms. My sister had been murdered.
My sister had been assaulted.
The tears burned hot, and I closed my eyes, another knock on the door.
“Em, can I come in?”
I must have said yes only loud enough for him to hear. I did want him in here. I did want him with me. I was so alone in my head, and that scared me, terrified me, where I’d go if I let the thoughts in my head go rogue for too long. The door squeaked open, and a boy came in. I barely saw him, unable to even lift my head. It wasn’t until Royal bent and sat on the floor beside the tub I even allowed myself to get a look of him.
I wasn’t the only one who felt this, experienced this. Normally lustrous green eyes were dull, bloodshot and lined with red. His sandy blond hair was all over the place, his fingers ran clear through many times. Pain laced his chiseled features, his strong jaw worked tight but even still, he didn’t address any of it. He didn’t acknowledge what he was feeling. Reaching into the bath, he took my sponge and brought it over my shoulders, the rough tips of his fingers brushing my skin.
I shivered, but not from the chill, leaning into each welcomed touch he gave me. I needed it. I needed his love so much right now.
Washing me seemed to be the only way for him to express it, at a loss for words himself as he bathed me. I sighed when he brought the water over my head, his fingers moving next to wash my hair. He took great care with this, lathering and rinsing before repeating, and after, he braided it. He’d done this before, and I knew he knew how.
He’d done this with her.
I stayed silent, screaming inside. The dull ache only eased a little by Royal’s touch, one I wanted more and more of the more he touched me. His hand ran down my clean back, and I leaned into his touch, silently calling out for him to do more.
He obviously didn’t hear me and reaching into the bathwater, he only did to get me up and to get me dry. I should have felt exposed before him, naked, and though I had, it wasn’t physically. Mentally, I was showing him all my cards, all my pain.
I need you.
I still couldn’t tell him what I needed, not when he dried me off with meticulous care, not when he spread my legs and touched me there. He did none of this sexually, only taking care of me until I was dry. He moved the thick towel over my breasts, and when he stood, desire laced his green eyes. Apparently, I’d misunderstood his disconnect, his want for me too.
Kiss me…
He wouldn’t, and I knew he wouldn’t, not now and with everything that happened. This was all too much, too fresh, and he wouldn’t want to take from me.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t take from him.
I pressed against him, forcing my mouth against his until he let me in. He dropped the towel, his fingers pinching my chin.
“Em…”
That was the first ounce of it, the first moment of pain he allowed me to feel. It emanated off him through his voice and in his touch when he braced my cheeks. I tugged at his shirt, and he worked it off, a perfect specimen of muscle and flesh before me.
“I fucking need you,” he forced against my mouth. “I need out of all this, my head…”
For tonight. Though, he hadn’t said it. It was what I needed too, some kind of release from all the voices and trauma in my mind. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me from the tub, my naked flesh warm against his hard body.
He devoured me, not just my mouth but my soul. I bit at his lips with hungry pants, adrenaline burning within me as he took me out of the steaming bathroom with his strong arms.
We ended up in the bedroom, his big body easing on top of mine in his jeans. He was so hard, his fly straining at the seams. I unzipped him and eased both his pants and boxers down. He kicked out of them, then sat back on his haunches, taking the moments to stare at me before rejoining our mouths. I called out his name when he touched me between my legs, wanting him so deep.
“Em.” He pulled my lips apart, ghosting soft kisses down to my chest. “My Em.”
I closed my eyes, my nipples sensitive as he breathed heat across them. He touched his teeth to them, tugging before taking a condom out of his jeans. He sheathed himself and when he entered me it felt so different this time than the others. The others hadn’t been this, all this pain between us. The others hadn’t been this exposed, no more secrets between us. He’d kept this all from me and with good reason.
A husky breath, and he threaded our fingers together, pressing them against the headboard as he rocked inside me. I cried out, telling him I loved him.
“I love you too,” he admitted, his eyes and voice so sad. He pressed his face into the side of my neck, sighing. “I’m so sorry.”
He might have been sorry for loving me, sorry for bringing me into all this. He might have been sorry for my pain, and I was sorry too. I was sorry we were in this together.
I was sorry that this felt like only the beginning.
His fingers drew softly across my shoulder later that night, my brain in and out of sleep. I wouldn’t sleep long before waking up and eventually, just gave up on sleep entirely. I wrapped an arm around Royal’s chest, and when he realized I was awake too, he kissed the top of my head. His fingers returned to my shoulder, and for long moments, I just listened to him breathe.
“It’s because of Mira I even came out here,” he said all of a sudden, a deep voice in a darkened room. He cradled my arm. “She’s the reason we’re both here and even know about all this.”
I didn’t understand, looking up at him. Even in the dark, he was majestic, a dream crafted into reality.
He played with my dark hair. “The night of everything… The night we found out about Paige, I got a text from her.”
“A text when you were with me?” We’d been together that night, slept together like now.
He nodded. “It didn’t come in until after I came over to see you. Woke up in the middle of the night when it pinged.”
“What did it say?”
His expression shifted, going harder. “She said she had something for me. Found out something I’d want to know. I thought it was bullshit and put my phone down, but then I got another text. It said it was about Paige.”
My attention alerted now, I sat up, resting on his chest.
He wet his lips. “Obviously, I went after that. She had me meet her at a twenty-four-hour diner. When I got there she had this file. She said it was Paige’s case file. Claimed she swiped it from her dad the sheriff.”
I supposed that was her dad, and since I knew that now, what he was saying made sense.
“She wanted to do a trade,” he said, looking at me. “Said she’d give it to me if we could hook up. She’s been after me since the second grade.”
“What did you say?”
“The answer was a resounding no obviously, but I didn’t tell her that. I needed that file, so I agreed just to get it. She was clearly fucking desperate for another hookup, and like an idiot, just gave up the file upon getting nothing but my word. I opened it with her, and needless to say, the whole thing was bullshit when I did.”
“How so?”
“Well, for starters the whole thing was redacted to hell. Like permanent maker everywhere. Nothing could be seen but a few names and a couple details here and there, but that’s not what bothered me the most. The case file was complete, thick like it’d been done well before that night.”
That couldn’t be possible. “How could the sheriff’s office have a complete file on my sister’s death if they’d just found out about her?”
“That’s the thing. They can’t and that’s when I noticed the investigation wasn’t even done by the Maywood Heights’s sheriff’s office. It was an outside contractor. A name I felt I’d heard before but I couldn’t put my finger on where I’d heard it. Anyway, I called Mira on her bullshit, but I to
ok that file because something weird was going on here. The sheriff’s office knew about Paige’s death before even the town did. For weeks judging by the case file. And remember that ring you found? That Court ring out at Route 80?”
Because I did, I swallowed. “Yes.”
“Well, that was Paige’s. Mine that I gave Paige before I got it replaced with the one I gave you. It was supposed to be hers after this whole thing. She must have lost it…”
I closed my eyes, chasing down the sickness.
“I looked into that after you gave it to me that day of the fire. Thinking I could find out something about where she’d gone.”
He had missed a lot of school.
“But I came up with nothing.” He squeezed my shoulder. “But now I know why. All this? There was nothing to find. She was gone, and the sheriff’s office knew about that, but kept it quiet.”
I shook. “But why would they? What does all this mean?”
He looked at me. “Well, at the time, it meant that I needed to look into things deeper. I left Mira that night at the diner and she threatened me. Said she knew about the haze and what ‘us guys’ were into. I guess she’d heard from some of the Court’s other girlfriends. She thought holding that over my head would do something, get me to sleep with her, but I didn’t give a shit. I had more important things to look into. The day of your sister’s memorial service, I decided to drive up to the coroner’s office. Figuring money talks, you know?”
I did know, and it had today.
He braced my arm. “Dr. Felton admitted he was told to destroy the file. He’s only keeping it because of me, and I’m paying him like a goddamn employee for that. He was also even told to tamper with the physical evidence, any DNA on Paige’s physical remains tossed out, then wiped clean from the record before she was cremated.”
I cringed. “Who told him to destroy the file in the first place? Do that?”
“The same company who did the investigation. Paige was taken out that night, killed before that train even came, and it was all covered up. And the whole story about the alcohol being in her system? The autopsy had nothing about that. The whole thing was bullshit, completely made up.”
“But by who?” I asked, the reality of what all the guys tried to warn me about flooding back to me now. They’d been scared about something. Warned me about getting involved.
Royal’s large chest rose with heavy breath and pulling me in, he kissed the top of my head again. “There’s still a lot the guys and I have to piece together, but we do have our suspicions. There’re some people involved in this, a few someones we think, and I get the feeling what we know is only the beginning.”
Seven
December
Things were starting to come together. Things were starting to make sense, and I squeezed a pillow that morning, my side cold. A divot in the bedding was all that remained of Royal Prinze the next morning. I assumed he was up and in the suite somewhere. I had slept a long time.
Easing into his spot, I wallowed there for longer than I liked, sought comfort there in ways I needed. Today, we needed to go over what was next, and I needed to be let in on whatever he and the guys were doing. They’d discovered something they obviously kept between themselves until now, and after last night, I knew why.
There was a murderer in the town of Maywood Heights.
The very thought shot a chill down my naked spine, and I closed my eyes, blocking out the sun. Whoever hurt my sister was still out there and maybe even still under our noses. There was a possibility, of course, they’d skipped town, but if someone got away with murder, as they clearly had, why would they? The person obviously had resources too in order to cover up such a thing. I closed my eyes in an attempt to block out the circumstances that surrounded the murder but to no avail. My sister had been out there by herself, her reality and now mine. My sister had been killed, raped.
Get out of this fucking bed.
I let go of the pillow, needing to be her strength now. I wouldn’t let what happened to her go with her to the grave. I was still here, and as long as I was standing, whoever did this to her would get what was coming to them in the end. I’d get my revenge…
Even if I had to go to certain lengths.
I had no idea what those lengths might be, but I had a feeling Royal was already two steps ahead on it. Something had happened to him since I’d known him, a slow but steady transformation. He had a darkness inside him I saw more and more every day, and was something that was obviously heavily influenced by all this that happened with my sister. I had so many things I needed to know, questions dating back to that first time he pushed me away in California. Deciding it was time to get those answers, I got up, and when I found a shirt, it was Royal’s. Shrugging it on, I went to the bathroom connected to the room. I got washed up real quickly, cleansing water on my face before brushing my teeth. After, I slid on a pair of bed pants from my bag to go with Royal’s shirt. I went looking for him in the suite after I dressed, and as I smelled something cooking, frying as I made my way down the hallway, I smiled.
He cooks too.
He was so sweet, and in so many ways. His care was subtle but always present. Even when he was pushing me away, he was doing things for me, always there looking out for me. I realized now all the guys had in some way, shape, or form in the past, Jax, LJ, and Knight. I was highly surprised they didn’t all come out for this trip just to be here. I guess I assumed Royal hadn’t allowed that, on his own for this one.
“Royal?” I crept down the hallway, the suite incredibly warm and smelled so stinkin’ good. It was a smell I couldn’t identify, something hot but nothing like bacon or eggs. I appreciated those smells despite being vegan. I didn’t have to eat the food to know it still smelled good, and I wasn’t ignorant to good-smelling things.
What’s he making?
“Royal?” I found him in the kitchen, well… at least someone. Whoever was whistling a happy tune, shaking his chiseled hips in his designer jeans. He was a little shorter than Royal and the buzzed haircut definitely told me it wasn’t him. I caught looks of the guy in the kitchen over the bar and must have announced myself because Jax turned around with a frying pan in his hand.
He grinned. “Ah, mon cherie! Comment allez vous?”
My eyebrows had to have jumped at least the height of my forehead. He spoke French? I shook my head, only to see LJ skirt through the kitchen with a spoon. The tall blond scooped some of whatever Jax had in the pan right out of it, blowing on a sample before tasting it.
Jax frowned. “What the fuck, dude?”
LJ whacked him with the wooden spoon before tossing it into the kitchen sink and washing his hands behind the bar. He flashed white teeth at me. “You’ll have to forgive him. He took all of a semester of French before switching over to German.”
Looking hurt, Jax placed the spatula to his chest. “What can I say? My family has ties to the motherland.”
“More like to Hitler.” LJ dodged quick when Jax attempted to swing the frying pan full of food at him, and chuckling, LJ came out of the kitchen. Finding me, the extremely tall blond boy with a rather long wingspan threw an arm around me, bringing me into a hug. “Hey, good to see you.”
It was surprisingly good to see him too, and Jax. I was actually just thinking about all of them.
I hugged him back. “You too. Where’s Royal? Knight?”
“Went for some OJ and some smacks.” LJ came away. He pointed over the bar. “This one’s cooking you both out of house and home.”
Appearing hurt again, Jax came out of the kitchen with his frying pan and spatula. “Am not. I’m just trying out a new recipe my moms taught me.”
Folding his arms, LJ lounged back against the suite’s dining room table. He tossed a nod at me. “Jax’s moms are celebrity chefs.”
“Only during the week.” Jax ventured over to the dining table too, which I now realized had quite the spread. There was a bowl of cut melon in the center, oatmeal and various things u
sed to sweeten and flavor it next to that, and carafe of what looked like milk.
“You’re vegan, right?” Jax asked, his frying pan filled with what looked like eggs but didn’t smell like it. From the looks of it, there were peppers, mushrooms, and some kind of meat mixed in there with yellow crumbles. He raised the pan. “I present a vegan tofu scramble. I’ve been dying to make this. One of my moms is vegan too.”
“How did you know I was vegan and where did you even get all this stuff?” I asked, laughing when I took one of the seats.
Jax pushed the food onto my plate, and it looked hella good. “Royal. He had all the food already in the fridge.”
Of course he did, another one of those things he did. He could fool the world all he wanted with his brooding attitude.
He was still sweet as hell.
Kind of in awe, I shook my head. “What did you use for meat?”
“Seitan.” Jax placed the pan in the center on an oven mitt, and when LJ frowned—he’d taken a seat next to me and hadn’t gotten served—Jax threw a hand at him. “Um, all this so isn’t for you, bro,” he chided before wiggling his eyebrows at me. “What do you think, December?”
He appeared very excited for my response so I sampled what he made.
“Dude,” I basically moaned. Grabbing another forkful, I shoved it into my mouth. “What the fuck?”
“I know, right?” His grin strong, Jax backed away, heading toward the kitchen. “Wait until you have it with chocolate almond milk. We only put regular on the table.”
“You know, you really don’t have to open and consume everything in the fridge? We’re checking out later today.”
Royal appeared from behind my chair when I turned, never failing to look hot as hell. He had his North Face jacket on, his cheeks flushed and red. I started to get up, but he came to me, a bag of groceries in his hands. He kissed my cheek. “Good morning, princess.”
I’d never not like him calling me that, calling me anything really. I just loved him saying my name. I loved loving him.
