He stared at Rafe in disbelief. "How do you know that? I didn't even realize it until I found out dad was dead." He laughed harsh, bitter. "It doesn't even make sense to me. I love riding bulls. But no matter how hard I tried to settle down I couldn't do it. The minute I heard the news, it was like some fist inside me unclenched."
"I know."
"How do you know that?"
"You're not the only one who was angry. I was just forced to deal with it before you. When my knee blew out, I couldn't run from the past any more. C.C. helped me understand it. That man had a way of looking at a people and knowing what they needed."
Cliff stared at his brother. "What did you need?"
"A place to be at peace. A place to belong and feel a sense of accomplishment. Ending up at the ranch grounded me like I'd never had before. Certainly not in our home growing up."
No, their home growing up had been as loud and dysfunctional as it got. "He was a piece of work wasn't he?" Cliff took a deep breath tension had coiled tight thinking about his father. It eased out of him, as he exhaled.
"Yeah, and then some," Rafe snorted. "If Mom hadn't gotten sick and died I guess she'd have stayed with him until the end."
They were silent for a moment, the sadness of that statement a deep gash of pain between them.
"I guess love is not always easy to understand." It was all Cliff could come up with. He'd stopped trying to figure out his mother a long time ago. "So why haven't you found me a nice sister in law and settled down and given me some nieces and nephews?" he asked, changing the subject.
Rafe's expression shadowed. "Hey, don't rush me and I won't rush you. Like you said, love's not always easy to understand and I sure don't have it figured out."
Had Rafe been in love?
"Me either." Cliff thought of Maddie and the date that couldn't get here soon enough.
"Show's about to start," Rafe said, changing the subject again. "You better get up there. These fellas are expecting you to turn them into champions. So get to work."
Cliff chuckled. "I'll do my best. It might be time to pass the torch."
*
Maddie was loading up calf feeding bottles and dealing with the shock of having said yes to a date with Cliff the day before.
Her mind still hadn't wrapped around the events of the diner episode and she'd tossed and turned with it all night long. Her pillow was probably sore from the workout she'd given it.
"Hey. Good morning."
The sound of Cliff's voice caused her insides to jumble nervously. It was both a dangerous and good feeling at the same time.
When she glanced at him the air felt alive with electricity.
"Good morning." She closed the tailgate and tried not to seem affected. Yeah right.
"Did you sleep good?"
She cut you've-got-to-be-kidding eyes at him. Getting mad and mortified all over again about the ambush.
"Look, about all of that yesterday. I'm sorry if it embarrassed you or made you uncomfortable."
"It was kind of hard not to be. Don't you think? You heard what they said. For goodness sakes, I didn't realize exactly how pitiful I was until they pointed it out to me." Okay, so she hadn't meant to let those feelings out of the bag. She felt bad enough knowing them herself.
He looked uncomfortable. "I don't think they meant it that way. I really don't."
She sighed and looked away. Studying Ty in the distance working with a horse in the early morning light. Finally she looked back at Cliff. Crossing her arms over ribs that barely hurt any more. "I know. But I hope you know that the posse has declared us their next matchmaking project. You do realize that, right?"
"Yeah, I might have started out with blinders on yesterday but I picked up on that."
Surprisingly that made her lips twitch with the need to smile. "Well I hope you're prepared."
He hitched a brow and his lips curved into a smirk. "I ain't scared. Are you?"
"I'm not scared of anything," she blurted, her pulse pounding at his words.
He sobered. "I believe that for the most part. But everyone's scared of something."
Maddie's hands tightened on her arms. "I'm going to feed a couple of orphaned calves, would you like to ride along?" The invitation was out before she could stop it or analyze it. Maybe she was trying to prove to him she wasn't scared.
But she was terrified and she knew it.
*
Cliff had jumped on the offer from Maddie like a man diving into the last lifeboat. The fact that she'd asked him to come along—especially after seeing how miffed she was meant a lot. He tried not to read too much into it but he knew he was. With everything he learned about Maddie he was more and more drawn to her. He wanted to see what she enjoyed. Wanted to get to know the woman who held people at bay.
And he sensed with every yard of pasture they crossed that orphaned calves meant something.
It had rained sometime in the night and more was threatening as she showed him the barn and feedlot where they kept the orphans and their new "adoptive" mamas as she called them.
When she spoke of the program it was written all over her face and in the sound of her enthusiasm that it was close to her heart.
There were three fairly newborn calves in the pen and three heifers. The babies each wore a calf skin over their backs like a second skin. He knew how it worked, using the skin from a calf that died and using it to cover an orphan so that the mama that had lost her baby would accept the orphan because it carried the scent of her baby. He knew how it worked but when he watched Maddie talk about it, it hit him hard.
"This really means a lot to you doesn't it?" he asked. Maddie felt things deep. It was obvious.
She was standing beside him and looking at the babies and mamas. "I can't stand for anything to be without a mom, so I love matching up orphans with new mamas." She waved a hand toward the cattle in the surrounding pasture. "All of those are new families." She smiled. "Isn't it cool?"
He was mesmerized by the intensity of her devotion. "You're a good mama, you know."
Shock flashed over her expression.
"Hey, don't look so shocked. You are. These are your babies and you've matched them up and given them love and nurturing. You've taken a mama calf who longed for her baby and a baby who longed and needed a new mom to survive and you've put them together. But, they're still your babies."
"Hey, I'm a cattle woman, I'm not supposed to get so attached."
He nudged her arm and smiled. "But you do."
She nodded. "I do."
He couldn't help himself as he lifted his hand and traced the profile of her face. "You have a big heart, Maddie."
She swallowed hard, drawing his gaze to her lips. His hand curled through her hair to gently cup the nape of her neck and he tugged lightly. She stepped close, her gaze locked with his. His pulse thundered and the need to kiss her was overwhelming.
This time they were alone in the middle of nowhere without an audience watching them. Other than Maddie's little bovine families.
He brushed his lips across hers, a driving need to taste the sweetness of her. An urgency he'd never felt before drove him as he realized he could kiss her forever. Almost instantly, a deep sigh whispered from her. She settled in his arms, her lips moving achingly soft against his, warm and answering as she took his breath away.
Cliff forgot everything but the feel of Maddie in his arms.
Chapter Eleven
Maddie hadn't forgotten the kiss in the truck. But it didn't compare to the tenderness of this kiss from the moment he pressed his lips to hers. "Maddie," he whispered, trailing kisses along her jaw then back to her mouth as if he couldn't stay away too long. She knew she should pull away, run, flee before her heart did something irrevocable. But she couldn't, just a little longer.
When he pulled away she was breathless. Dazed. And she had to stand very still while the world stopped spinning.
He raked a hand through his hair, his hat lying on the ground from where she
must have knocked it off when she ran her fingers through his wavy hair.
"Maddie," he said, looking as stunned as her.
She had to find footing. "I have to feed the babies." She strode to the rear of her truck. He followed her and she could feel him watching her. Her hand trembled as she opened the cooler and though she tried to make them stop her hands trembled as she pulled the two large bottles from the ice.
"You can be daddy for a day," she said, pushing one into his chest and letting go too quickly as she started for the pen. Luckily he grabbed it before it fell.
She led the way back to the barn and out to the other side where two baby calves waited in a small pen. They started bawling the moment they spotted her.
"Hey, little girls," she cooed, her nerves calming with something else to think about than the feel of Cliff's kiss. She had to think. Had to calm down the chaos going on inside of her.
She reached into the pen to pet them, rubbing their ears as they tried to butt each other out of the way.
"Maddie that kiss was incredible."
She didn't look at him. She couldn't. If she looked at him he would see exactly how incredible she'd thought it was. He would be able to see every hidden longing of her soul if she looked at him. If she looked at him he would see the fear that gripped her. Could she risk that he wouldn't abandon her in the end too?
*
Think Cliff.
Cliff knew that was easier said than done after having experienced the kiss of a lifetime. From the moment Maddie had rolled over in that dirt that first day and looked up at him with those fathomless green eyes the fog he'd been moving in for days had started clearing out of his head. Every day he'd spent around her had brought him further out of any unresolved anger he'd felt toward his dad.
He was thinking only about what he wanted out of life now.
And he knew he wanted Maddie in his life. His agent had called telling him they needed him in Mesquite the following weekend, and he'd told him to do what he had to but that he wasn't coming back. Not full time and only when he wanted. He knew he'd lose his sponsors but it had been a long haul and he finally knew it was time. He trusted his agent to handle it with care and professionalism. He knew what was important in his life now and he was looking at her.
"Maddie, say something please."
She smiled over her shoulder, that vulnerable look still there behind her smile. "Poor things, they're twins. When their mother died, there wasn't a mama available and all the other newborns were alive and well—which is a good thing. Anyway, if you'll help we'll get these two rascals fed."
"Fine." He stepped up beside her, his arm brushing hers as he petted the one on her left and stuck the bottle through the gate. She was getting her emotions in check. The thought was like cheer in his heart.
He smiled as the twins latched onto the bottles and tried to yank them through the fence as they attacked the formula. He laughed, suddenly feeling like everything in the world was right.
"It's been a long time since I did this. I forgot how greedy they can be."
"It's an adventure."
"I have to agree."
She blushed.
The twins kicked each other again and he chuckled along with Maddie before looking away. It took everything he had not to say anything else about the kiss. They'd talk about it when she was ready. Maybe he was moving too fast. It wasn't as if he'd chosen the pace though.
She looked past the pen to the land beyond, a contented expression on her face. "I've always wanted my own land, my own place. Always."
"Well, I'd say you've accomplished that."
The breeze lifted the edges of her blonde hair. "If C.C. hadn't made me a partner I'd never have been able to afford anything near this size. But I'd have been content with something smaller. As long as I could feel like I owned a piece of Texas."
"We agree on that." He nudged her gently with his elbow, drawing her gaze to his again. "Texas is the place I knew I wanted to come back to. Rafe settling here helped me decide to try Mule Hollow."
The twins finished their bottles in that moment and immediately started head butting each other trying to reach the others bottle.
She took the bottles and headed toward the truck.
"Do you know why your parents gave you up and let you go into the foster system?" he asked, following her. Wanting more than ever to know more about her.
"No."
The sharp, dead way she said no red flagged it that it still hurt.
She moistened her lips. Her expression tightened.
"The truth, I was a very sick baby abandoned on the doorstep of the post office when I was just a few weeks old. Like my mom went to mail a letter and walked off and forgot me."
Cliff's throat squeezed tight and he hung his head, staring at his boots, hurting for Maddie. "Awe Maddie. I'm so sorry."
A too vivid picture of Maddie as an infant crying for her mama filled his mind and caused the back sides of his eyes to burn.
"What, what happened? Who found you?" he said, gravel in this throat.
"One of the mailmen. I was taken in by the state. I was a very sickly child. My immune system was compromised and almost non-existent. Because of that I was weak and pale and in and out of the hospital. Anyway, that's my story. I was raised in an orphanage the first part of my life and later different foster homes."
Cliff felt as if someone had kicked him in the gut. "Are you all right now? You work like a pack mule."
"See. That is exactly why I don't talk about myself. I don't like everyone looking at me and feeling sorry for me. I'm fine. I'm strong and I rarely get sick." She put distance between them. "I shouldn't have told you that." She headed to the truck cab. "Let's go back."
He stalked after her. "Maddie, no kid should have to go through what you went through. Yeah it upsets me for you."
"Don't look at me that way. I can't deal with it."
She climbed into her truck and slammed the door. Cliff was left standing on the outside looking in.
If he lived to be a hundred he'd never understand Maddie Rose.
He yanked open the door. "Get out of that truck."
"Don't you tell me what to do." She grabbed the steering wheel with both hands and stared straight ahead.
"Okay, that does it. I warned you." He reached into the truck and scooped her into his arms. She held on to the steering wheel until her hands slipped off. She was no match for him.
"Let go of me," she snapped, kicking as he pulled her out and then slammed the door with his boot.
Not sure what he was doing but not caring. All he wanted to do was hold her.
"Let me down Cliff Masterson or I'll kick you. I will."
He set her on her feet and dragged her against him. Needing to feel her heartbeat against his. "Maddie, it's okay to let people get close." He rested his head on the top of hers and held her. She had gone still in his arms her heart was thundering he could feel every angry beat of it.
"It makes me angry. And yeah I'd be telling a bald-faced lie if I said I didn't feel bad for you for what you went through. I do." She pushed against his chest on that. "But I'm more impressed with what you've become. Maddie, you are amazing."
He wished he had the right words to say.
The pressure eased and he leaned his head back so he could see her. "Your past isn't you today." He'd come to terms with that for himself finally.
Looking into Maddie's beautiful face all he wanted to do now was help her realized that.
*
Maddie fought the raw ache of tears that threatened to spill over the edges of her eyes and roll down her cheeks.
She wouldn't cry. This too, was why she kept her mouth shut about her past. It wasn't good to drag her memories back there.
This was ridiculous. Why did talking about the past still affect her so? Maybe because you don't talk about it. Ever.
"Talk to me Maddie. I'm your friend. Right?"
"I'm not sure calling us friends is the right term,"
she said, a husky laugh surprising her.
"Hey, I totally disagree with that. If you remember, I pulled you out from under Buford's hooves. And we did just share the kiss of a lifetime." The reminder of that kiss filled her thoughts wiping everything else away.
She laughed and his eyes twinkled.
"See there," he said, gently. "I told you, we're friends. A friend does whatever it takes to make a friend feel better."
"Cliff, I don't know, this is all happening so fast."
He kissed her forehead. "You feel it as much as I do. You can deny it and back away from it, but just so you know, I'm not one to back away from something like that. I'm a bull rider. I like danger." He grinned, looking cocky and heart-stoppingly handsome.
Maddie knew she could fall in love with Cliff. And he had a way of making her so angry but so...reckless. This was too much.
She'd been hurt so much growing up. So very much. She backed up to the truck and he placed his hands on either side of her shoulders... he was going to kiss her again.
"Cliff, I don't really know what to do about you. I have trouble opening up. Trusting."
He smiled and dipped his head and stole a swift gentle kiss. "Be my friend, let me be there for you."
She nodded. Feeling overwhelmed.
He smiled. "And let me take you to the theater tomorrow night like we planned."
She couldn't say anything, just looked at him.
"And Maddie, don't be afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt you for the world."
He dipped in for another kiss and Maddie it didn't even occur to her to push him away. Instead she cupped his jaw with her hands and returned the kiss.
When he had kissed her breathless and pulled back she smiled shakily at him. "Okay, the theater is still on."
Chapter Twelve
Maddie rolled over in bed and stuffed her face in the pillow. She'd agreed to a date with Cliff—after he'd curled her toes with a kiss that lingered on her lips even now.
She would never, never, never forget that kiss.
MULE HOLLOW MATCHMAKERS 21: NEW HORIZON RANCH 01: Her Mule Hollow Cowboy Page 7
