by Emerson Rose
Suddenly, I’m overcome by fatigue. We only slept three hours last night, Alex even less since he was up before me. I roll over in the tangled sheets and use Alex’s pillow as a pathetic substitute for him.
The world falls away, and the next time I open my eyes, my phone says it’s almost noon. He’s been gone for a long time. Maybe he’s back and didn’t want to wake me? I stretch my sore muscles and roll out of bed heading to the bathroom to shower and dress.
The warm water does wonders for my muscles as well as the ibuprofen Alex left on the bathroom counter for me along with a new toothbrush. His interest in being prepared seems a little over the top. How does someone get that way? What happened in his life to make him so uncomfortable with the unknown?
I mull that over while I choose a pair of jeans and a sweater from his closet. There must be a dozen outfits all in my size to choose from. I can’t help but feel like I’m raiding someone’s closet, but the tags are still on the incredibly overpriced clothes.
When I’m dressed, I snoop around his closet touching his shirts and suits. I slide open drawers full of ties and belts examining them all for no reason other than that they belong to him.
Feeling guilty for invading his privacy, I leave his bedroom and check my messages for the floor plan of the house he was going to send me. I also send a message saying I hope things are okay with Lilly.
I make my way through the maze of halls until I find the kitchen where Greta is removing dishes from the dishwasher and putting them away. “Good morning, Miss Olivia. May I get you something to eat?”
“Hi, it’s nice to formally meet you. I’d love something, but I can fix it myself if you tell me where things are,” I offer not wanting to interrupt her while she’s working.
“Oh no, Mr. Wolfe wants me to cook for you. Would you like pancakes or an omelet? Perhaps eggs and toast with coffee?”
“Oh, coffee definitely and maybe an omelet but only when you’re finished. I don’t want to interrupt.”
“Please, it’s fine. I have all day for this. Coffee and an omelet coming right up. Have a seat at the island unless you’d rather eat in the dining room?”
“No, this is fine,” I say sliding onto a tall stool.”
Greta isn’t chatty while she cooks, but her occasional sweet, grandmotherly smile makes me feel at home in her kitchen. She slides a mug of coffee across the island and studies me as I take a sip. The hot liquid breathes life back into my soul, and the caffeine makes me more alert.
“You’re a very beautiful woman, Olivia. I hope you don’t mind me saying so. Mr. Wolfe is a smart man to sweep you off your feet.”
“He did, didn’t he? Do you know about the puppy?”
“I do, and the dinner, and the fireworks, the spa day, the rental cottage…”
“The rental cottage?” I say, and her face pales.
“Oh my, I’ve said too much. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry. Are you talking about the cottage where Lady is kept?”
“Yes, but I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Greta, does Mr. Wolfe expect me to move into the cottage?” Maybe this is what he wanted to talk to me about this the morning?
She purses her lips and goes back to my omelet serving it on a bright yellow plate. He does, he wants me to live here. Well, not here but damn close. That’s why he has Lady living there, so she will be used to it when he moves me in.
I don’t mind being controlled in bed, but the rest of my life is just that, my life. I have no intentions of moving anywhere, and I will not be manipulated into doing so.
I check my phone for a message from Alex, nothing. Whatever is going on with him is taking much longer than I am comfortable with. I eat my breakfast and thank Greta for the best omelet I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating, finish my coffee, and tell her I’m going to lie down.
I use the map on my phone to find my way to the front door where I send for an Uber to take me home. Twenty minutes later, the car pulls up to the front door. I didn’t want to go back to Alex’s bedroom, there is nothing there I need. I don’t have any shoes other than the Jimmy Choo’s he gifted me, so the thick wool socks I’m wearing are going to have to do.
I slip out quietly padding through the light dusting of snow that must have fallen last night after we came home from the cottage—the cottage he was going to try to lure me into living in.
My driver doesn’t mention my lack of shoes, she’s too busy talking about her wild evening of driving people home from New Year’s Eve parties last night. When we pass the cottage, my heart clenches in my chest. I’m leaving Lady behind, but she was never really mine anyway, none of this was. The whole night feels like a dream the further away we get from the house.
When we pass through the gates, I wonder how the driver got through. I hadn’t thought about that. “Was the gate open when you arrived?” I ask my driver, Stephanie, and she confirms that yes, it was, and she didn’t have any problems getting in.
Maybe Alex left it open when he left for the hospital? However, it happened. I’m glad I didn’t have to ask someone to open it. I don’t want anyone to know I’m gone until Alex comes home and finds his bed empty.
How dare he assume he could control me so easily, and with a puppy of all things. What an ass.
13
Jacob meets me at the door when I get home. “I thought we had a pact,” he says the second he swings the door open. He’s been waiting to pounce on me for not checking in.
I hold up my hand. “We did, I mean we do. I’m so sorry, Jacob, I…”
He cuts me off and grabs me by the shoulders. “Olivia, where’s your dress? And why on earth aren’t you wearing shoes? It’s freezing outside, and there’s snow on the ground for Christ’s sake.”
“The dress and the shoes aren’t mine, and I didn’t have any other shoes to wear home.” A shiver runs through me. I didn’t realize how cold I was until I stepped into our warm apartment.
“What did he do to you? I’ll kill him, I swear. I don’t give a fuck how rich and powerful he is. If he put his hands on you, and you didn’t want him to, he’s dead.”
I step forward and allow him to envelop me into his arms. He pushes the door closed and leads me to the couch where I kick off my socks, and we snuggle under a fuzzy blanket until I’m warmer.
“He didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do.”
“Then why are you sneaking out in your socks?”
“It was an amazing night, truly the best date I’ve ever been on.”
“So the party was fun, just not after?”
“There was no party, he wanted to have me over for dinner, and afterward, he had arranged a firework display for me.”
“Wow, fireworks, huh? Kinda flashy. I don’t like it.”
I slap him on the chest playfully. “Stop, that part was sweet, so was dinner. In fact, the entire night, including out-of-this-world sex, was great.”
“Out of this world, huh? I figured he would be great in the sack. You can tell me more about that later. Why the glum face and wet feet then?”
“He’s got some issues I’m not sure I can deal with.”
“Such as?”
“He took me to a small cottage on his property. Oh, he lives in a ten-thousand-square-foot historic mansion. Did I tell you that?”
“No, you didn’t, but wow.”
“Yeah, wow. So, he took me to this cottage saying he had another surprise for me there.”
“Oh my God, Livy, don’t tell me he’s into some Fifty Shades of Grey kinky shit.”
“No, I mean, I don’t think so. That’s not what I’m getting at, though.”
We are laying on the couch my back to his front, and he pulls me closer. “I don’t know if I like that answer but go on.”
“The surprise was a puppy, a Husky from the same breeder he got his dogs from.”
“A dog? That’s presumptuous. Obviously, he doesn’t know you can’t have dogs where you live.”
“No, I’m pretty sure he knew. That’s what has me upset.”
“Okay, you lost me again.”
“He never came out and said it, but I think he got me the puppy and showed me the cottage because he wants me to live there. I told him about the apartment’s rules, and he said when I find a new place, I can take the puppy. I told him I wasn’t planning on moving, and he said I could visit Lady at the cottage anytime I wanted. But, he had to leave this morning, and his cook let it slip that the cottage was a rental property, and I’m pretty sure he was trying to manipulate me into living there.”
“That’s a bold move for a first date, you sure?”
“No, but all signs point that way.”
“Why did he leave this morning?”
“Oh, get this, his ex, the one in the photographs I showed you?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s in the hospital, and they called and asked him to come right away. He told me she has him listed as an emergency contact. He was going to keep me updated via text and come home as soon as he could, but I woke up late, and he still wasn’t there. I showered and had breakfast and text him but still no answer. Then, when the cook told me that shit about the cottage, I took off.”
“Shit. I hope she didn’t die or something.”
“What? Don’t say things like that. I don’t wish harm on the poor girl.”
“No, I mean if he didn’t come home or call, there had to be a good reason for that. Maybe he’s grief-stricken or in shock. Did you try to call him?”
“No, we hardly know each other. I didn’t want to bother him, especially if it’s some traumatic thing. I wouldn’t know the first thing about comforting him.”
“So you ran?”
I cringe at his words. I’m notorious for running from my problems. It’s one of the reasons I opened my shop in Seattle and not somewhere in California where I’m from. I wanted a fresh start away from all the hurt and pain of my past, even if it meant leaving my sick mother alone to be cared for by strangers.
I sigh and close my eyes. “I did, Jacob. I don’t want to be manipulated. He should have asked if I wanted a pet or if I was looking to move into a new place alone. But he didn’t, he took it upon himself to try to make those big, life-changing decisions for me without asking.”
“You don’t know that for sure. He never asked you to move in.”
“He’s a control freak. He had a full closet of clothes for me this morning and toiletries. It’s like he assumed we would fall madly in love on the first date or something. It’s too much, I can’t.”
“Whoa, honey, clothes, toiletries? That is kinda freaky for a first date.”
“And a second and a third and fourth. I don’t think this is a rich-guy thing either. He admitted to me that he is obsessive about being prepared.”
“I’ll say. There could be worse things, though, you know? Do you like him? You said the sex was amazing. Relationships are all about compromise and understanding. Maybe you should just ask him to slow down a little. Tell him he’s freaking you out, and you can’t be with him if he’s going to be so assertive.”
“Yes, I liked him, a lot. It’s crazy, Jacob. It felt like we had known each other all our lives. We have a connection and the sex… whoa. I’ve never been with someone like him. He knows what he’s doing.”
“Hmm, now I’m a little jealous. He’s hot, don’t get me wrong, but I thought he might be a little old-fashioned since he’s older.”
“Old-fashioned Alex Wolfe is not. He knows things about my body I didn’t know.”
“Now you have me curious. What does he know?”
“That I can have more than one orgasm per day for one thing.”
“One a day? Honey, you thought you were a one-and-done girl?”
“No, I was a one-and-done girl my whole life until last night. I can’t even count how many times he made me come.”
“You found a unicorn. Wow, what a lucky girl you are,” he says with awe.
“A unicorn, that’s a good way to describe him. A control-loving, prepared, sex-god unicorn.”
“I think you should give him a chance. Talk about boundaries, of course.”
“I don’t know. This is the kind of thing I try to avoid. He’s great, but I feel like he’s going to monopolize my mind and heart. How will I concentrate on work and success if all I can think about are orgasms and puppies?”
“Oh, honey, that’s love. It’s supposed to do all that and much more. You’ve already got success, now it’s time to focus on other things. You will find time for both, you’re a smart cookie.”
“I am?”
“Definitely, I have complete faith in you.”
“I love you, Jacob, thank you.”
“You’re welcome, and I love you, too.”
“How was your night?” I ask, feeling guilty for only focusing on my issues.
“It was fine, nothing like yours, that’s for sure.”
“Did you get lucky?”
“No, but that’s all right. I like Gabe a lot, and I want to go at his pace. It’ll happen when he’s ready, and after last night, he isn’t going to last much longer.”
“I’m happy, you deserve someone good.”
“I do, don’t I?”
“Yes, you’ve had quite a string of douchebags if you don’t mind me saying so.”
“I don’t mind. It’s true. If you and the Wolfe work things out, we should go on a double date or maybe have dinner here.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m still not sure about the Wolfe.”
“Okay, okay, the three of us then, for sure.”
“Are you sure you want a third wheel?”
“Positive, I love a good threesome.” He pushes his hips up, and I scoot forward.
“That would be like having sex with my brother and his boyfriend, gross.”
“You’re right, ew.”
“Okay, what are we doing for the rest of our day off?” I ask.
“Hmm, how about movies, wine, and snuggling on the couch?”
“Oh my God, you read my mind. That sounds like heaven. I’ll get the wine, you pick the movies.”
“Done, bring snacks, too!” he calls after me.
“In a minute, I’m changing out of these clothes first.”
When I’m in a pair of yoga pants and a baggy hot pink sweatshirt, I return to the kitchen to grab every bag of junk food we own. Unfortunately, we eat pretty clean, but we do have the mandatory family-size bag of Cheetos and some popcorn and M&Ms to go with our wine.
“We’re fresh out of Skittles, but I found these,” I say raising the bottle of wine, M&Ms, and Cheetos in the air as I enter the living room with a smile. Jacob doesn’t answer right away, and my smile falters when I see why.
Alex is standing on the threshold of our apartment looking pale and broken holding a baby car seat in one hand and two bags on the opposite shoulder. I’m at a loss for words, but thankfully Jacob isn’t.
“What’s going on Alex?” he asks him as if he’s known him for years.
“I need help,” he says, and even though I don’t know this man well, I am in tune enough to realize that he rarely asks for help. I set down the snacks and wine and go to him taking the bags from his shoulder.
I guide him inside like he guided me all over his house last night and encourage him to sit on the loveseat which he does like a zombie. He sets the baby carrier down next to his feet and avoids looking into it, but I don’t.
Inside is a beautiful little girl with giant ocean blue eyes and a head full of shocking inky-black hair that matches Alex’s. She’s looking up at me searching for a familiar face, and when she doesn’t find one, her bottom lip quivers.
“Alex, whose baby is this?” I ask unbuckling her quickly to get her out before she starts to cry. He doesn’t answer. He’s staring at his feet.
“Honey, is he okay?” Jacob asks standing next to me taking in the scene.
“I don’t know, but this one is about to
cry,” I say lifting her out. She’s dressed in fluffy pink footie pajamas, and her cheeks are turning redder by the second until I cradle her in my arms.
I did a lot of babysitting as a child. My mother didn’t have any money to spare. We lived on her disability, so I did what I could to help make ends meet and care for Shep.
The little girl coos and pulls my hair when she’s safely in my arms, and I sit down on the coffee table in front of Alex. “Hey, are you okay?” I ask again touching his cheek.
As upset as I was with him this afternoon, I can’t bear to be now. He’s clearly suffering, and I want to help. He raises his gaze to mine, his eyes pleading for something—help, forgiveness, sympathy, advice? I can’t tell which, and he isn’t speaking.
I motion toward the kitchen. “Get him a drink, Jacob. Something strong.”
Alex leans forward with his elbows on his knees and drops his head into his hands pushing his fingers through his dark hair. “She’s gone,” he says so low I can hardly hear him.
“Who’s gone?” I ask.
“Lilly,” he says her name with twisted agony.
I bounce the little girl on my lap and support her back with my free hand. “What do you mean gone?” My belly flips when I ask the question. I feel like I already know the answer.
“She’s dead.”
“Oh my God,” I gasp and squeeze the baby harder.
“Here you go,” Jacob says handing Alex a glass of whiskey almost full. Alex takes it and downs it in one drink handing the glass back without a word.
“She died? She looked healthy the other day in the shop. Was she in an accident or something?”
“She had stage four breast cancer. She never told me, but she didn’t die from the cancer. She slit her wrists.”
“Fucking hell,” Jacob murmurs sitting down behind me. I don’t know what to say. I’m still confused about the baby. “She killed herself?” I whisper to no one in particular.
“Yes.” He releases his hair and looks up at me holding the baby. “And that’s my daughter.”
I lurch forward, my mouth falls open, and my eyes pop. “What?” This is too much insanity all at once. I can’t process it all.
