by Emerson Rose
The red light of the motel sign feels like a warning. Am I doing the right thing? Should I go behind my father’s back and ask for help from Beau?
Yes, the answer settles solidly in my brain and I pull up his number and press call. I was appalled when he audaciously entered his name and number into my phone but now I’m glad he did. It’s almost like he knew I’d have to call.
I settle into one of two uncomfortable metal lawn chairs set up near the office. It’s late, after eleven o’clock, he’s probably already asleep. Ranch life starts early and goes hard and fast for twelve to sixteen hours a day. When I lived at home I was down for the count by nine o’clock every night without fail. My guess is Beau isn’t much different but I have to do this when I’m alone and that’s not very often these days.
I listen to the hollow ring of a country cell phone call three times, that’s enough to wake someone. I’m hanging up. I start to move the phone away from my ear when I hear his voice.
“Hello?” There is a croak in his hushed voice, he’s been sleeping.
“Beau? I’m sorry to wake you.”
He clears his throat and I hear rustling of sheets. “Charlotte?”
He recognized my voice, there’s no going back now. Nothing is important enough to wake a cowboy after a long day’s work. Except for this.
“Yeah, hey, could we get together and talk tomorrow outside of Redwater, somewhere private?”
I imagine him pushing his hand through his hair as he moves from a deep sleep to semi consciousness.
“Yeah, meet me at the end of our airstrip. Do you know where that’s at?”
“Not exactly, is it East or West of your house?”
“West, there’s a hangar and it can be accessed from the main road so you won’t have to go up the main driveway.”
“What time?”
“Be there at noon.”
“Okay, and um… thanks.”
“You’re welcome but don’t thank me yet.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m pretty sure what you want to talk about and I might want something in return.”
“You never said it was a trade. I distinctly remember you saying all I had to do was ask for your help.”
“Yes, I did say that and it still holds true. All you have to do is ask but I never said there wouldn’t be any stipulations.”
I roll my eyes hard even though he can’t see me and grit my teeth. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. What does he want? I’ll never know if I don’t go and talk to him.
“I’ll be there.”
“Good. See you tomorrow.”
The line goes dead and I’m left standing here holding my phone wondering what I’ve just gotten myself into. What if he wants something… something personal? I sure as hell am not willing to prostitute myself that’s for damn sure. I didn’t make it to twenty-two without giving it up for nothing.
I jam my thumb on the end button. He already hung up but it makes me feel better. How dare he dismiss me like that.
“What are you doing out here?” My sister’s voice comes from behind me making me jump. I twist in my chair and see her looking at my phone suspiciously.
“Nothing I just needed to get out of that cramped room for a little bit.”
“Who were you talking to?”
“Oh, just a friend from school. She was updating me on some things I’ve missed.”
“At this time of night? Shouldn’t she be partying at some frat house?”
Stella has always been envious of me going to college. It’s not like she couldn’t have gone, she was smart and I’m sure she would have gotten scholarships if she hadn’t quit half way through her senior year of high school. Her dropping out taught me a very important lesson, don’t be a quitter, simple but important. She’s been struggling on the ranch with my family her entire life and look where it got her, homeless and jobless.
“She doesn’t party with frat boys, she was awake studying.”
“Oh.” Her face falls as if she were hoping for some drama. I don’t know why, you’d think she’s got enough drama going on in her life right now. “You going back inside?” She hitches her thumb over her shoulder toward our room.
“No, I think I’ll stay out here for a little while longer. There’s too much snoring going on in there anyway. How can you sleep through that?”
She shrugs and takes the lawn chair next to me plopping down and propping up her feet on a potted plant in front of us. “I’m used to it.”
“You sleep alone, how are you used to it?”
She takes out a pack of cigarettes and taps the end until one pops out. She slides it from the box and places it between her bee-stung lips. The cigarette bobs up and down on her lip while she searches for a lighter.
“I don’t sleep alone.”
I sit up from my slouched position and turn my body to face hers. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, you never told me you were seeing someone.”
She finds a purple lighter in her right pocket and lights the tip of her cigarette. I watch her draw on it deeply and hold the smoke before blowing it straight up to keep it out of my face. I never understood the fascination with smoking it’s disgusting.
“I don’t.”
I frown and swat at her arm. “Stop being cryptic, just tell me who you’re sleeping with.”
“Who are you sleeping with?” she asks raising her eyebrows.
I narrow my eyes and cock my head to the side. “You know I don’t sleep with anyone.”
“Still holding the V card huh? Why? You’ve been at ISU for all these years and never had sex?”
“No, I haven’t. I’m saving my virginity for someone special, someone exceptional.”
“Okay sis, you keep telling yourself that.”
“What? I am. It’s important, I’m not going to just give it to any Joe blow, besides, I’m too busy for a relationship, always have been.”
“Nobody’s too busy for sex Charlotte. That’s a cop out, you’re afraid and that’s okay. It’s always scary the first time, you have to take a leap and when you do you’ll wonder why the hell you waited so long.”
I shake my head, “No, that’s not it. Not exactly anyway, I mean I’m a little apprehensive but I think if it’s the right person it shouldn’t be scary. And you never answered my question. Who are you sleeping with that snores?”
She flicks an ash onto the crumbling concrete and I switch positions to wake my sleeping foot underneath me.
“He’s nobody you’d know.”
“Nobody as in he isn’t from around here or nobody. as in. I know him and you don’t want me to know who you’re sleeping with?”
“He isn’t from around here.”
“Where did you meet him?” The prickling sensation in my toes lets me know the blood has started to rush back into them. I wiggle them and cringe. I hate this feeling.
“I don’t want to talk about it, let’s talk about finding a prince charming to deflower you instead.”
“Stella we are facing the most difficult time of our life and you want to focus on getting me laid?”
“Yes. It’s much more fun than worrying about where mom and pop are going to live.”
“Life isn’t all fun, and what do you mean where mom and pop are going to live? Have you and Jake Jr. found a place?”
“Yes, well, I have. Jake Jr. might be staying with his girlfriend.”
“Wait, Jake Jr. has a girlfriend? Since when and who?” It doesn’t seem possible that a woman would be interested in my brother. It’s not that he isn’t attractive because he is, but he’s always been so out there that we aren’t sure of what is really going on in his head.
“Cammie Brown, Wesley’s little sister. She’s really pretty now and she’s all tied up in knots over our little Jakie.”
“Gosh, I’m so out of the loop. So you’re not going to tell me who you’re seeing?”
She stands up and tosses the butt of the cigarett
e down grinding it into the cement with her sandaled foot. “Nope.” Her smile and fluttering eyelashes tell me she’s got a big secret. I hate it when she keeps something from me. From this moment forward my goal is to #1 find my parents a home and #2 find out who Stella is sleeping with and #3 bump into Jake Jr.’s girlfriend Cammie so I can see how much she’s changed since high school.
“Don’t bother trying either, I see that look in your eyes. You’ll never figure it out unless I decide to tell you and I won’t.”
“You are a wretched terrible sister.”
“But you love me.” She ruffles my hair and returns to our room.
She’s right about one thing, I do love her but she has underestimated my detective skills. I’m used to being busy all the time and since I’ve been home my brain has been searching for things to do. She has essentially challenged me to figure out whom she’s dating and I plan on doing that tomorrow. Right after I meet with Montana’s most eligible bachelor Beau Hill. The man I’m supposed to hate.
6
Hung up on Charlotte and hypoglycemic.
Beau
Being tired comes with the territory when you’re a rancher but today is different. Today I am bone aching, mind numbing, worn out exhausted.
When Charlotte called me last night and woke me up that was the end of sleep for me. First of all I couldn’t believe she called. Second I couldn’t stop thinking about her and third I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about her.
Her family must be desperate to allow her to call on me for help. Unless, and this is what I suspect, she did this all on her own and then we are in for some serious trouble.
I’m all for putting the Hill/Deardon feud behind us but I’m pretty sure our parents will have to be six feet under in their graves before that will happen without a fight.
After hours of tossing and turning with visions of long blonde hair blowing in the wind, a perfect round ass barely covered by a tiny pair of jean shorts with frayed edges that stick to smooth skin and full lips I’d pay to bite, I got out of bed and started my day.
I’ve been dragging ass since before dawn cutting the heavies from the herd making sure the cows closest to calving are in a separate adjacent field from the rest. I don’t need any problems today. I’m so sleep deprived my reaction time would be sludgy at best and we are at the height of calving season, when I need to be hyper alert if a cow gets into trouble during delivery.
Along with being tired I’m hungry and my blood sugar is low. In my Charlotte haze, like a dumb ass, I skipped breakfast. If I’m not careful I’ll be on the ground being trampled by cows instead of meeting her in the hanger at noon.
Noon, shit, it’s eleven o’clock and I have to stop at home and eat with mom before I go. I eat with her every day, skipping would throw up red flags all over the place. My meeting with Charlotte has top secret stamped all over it, if anyone finds out there will be a special kind of hell to pay.
“Dale, I’m heading to the house for lunch,” I yell to my father’s right hand ranch hand. He waves toward the house and I cue King to turn and head home.
I blink and shift to the right in the saddle confusing King for a moment but he knows me and senses that he should slow his trot to a lope. I’ve been riding King for ten years and somehow he knows when my blood sugar is low. He has in fact brought me home slumped over and unconscious once when I was seventeen years old. I got lost on the plains and couldn’t find my way home in time to eat.
When I approach the barn Billy is waiting with a worried frown. All of our employees have worked for us for years and they know about my diabetes.
“You didn’t eat did you?” he says when I slide down to the ground and use King for balance.
“Might need some…” My next word was going to be help but my legs decide to give out and Billy catches me before I hit the ground. With my arm around his shoulders and his around my waist he nearly drags me from the barn to the house.
“David, take King, this fool didn’t eat breakfast. I gotta get him inside,” Billy says and I’m so groggy I couldn’t make a smart-ass comment if I wanted to.
“Your mama’s gonna be pissed boy.”
He’s right; she gets irate when I fuck up like this. Good thing it doesn’t happen very often.
He throws open the front door and yells, “Mrs. Hill.” No answer. “Angel, your son needs to eat,” he says trying again.
“Beauregard Samuel Hill, how could you skip breakfast? You must have a woman on your brain to do something so damn stupid.”
For a moment, two of my mother move in my direction and merge into one. I feel faint and my head hurts but none of that is worse than being called Beauregard. Only my mother gets away with that and only when I can’t tell her not to.
How the hell did she guess I was in this condition because I was daydreaming about a woman? She’s the only person who still believes there is any hope of me falling in love someday and giving her grandbabies.
“Mom…”
“Hush. Sit him down right there, Billy, I’ll get a couple glucose tabs.”
I try to walk on my own but it’s no use. Billy helps me shuffle to the kitchen table while mom retrieves the tabs from the cabinet next to the sink that overlooks the countryside.
“You got it from here Mrs. Hill? I need to get back to the horses.”
“Yes, yes Billy, go on. He’s going to be fine. Here, take these, and shame on you for skipping breakfast.” She hands me the sugary tabs that taste like sweet tarts and waves her hand toward the door.
Billy bolts. The ranch hands don’t like to interact much with my mom since she started having what they know to be mood swings. She can be downright mean at times and other times she’s the sweet loving woman she’s been all her life.
It’s hard not telling them what’s going on. I hear them whispering sometimes and I want to yell at them, she’s not a mean bitch, she’s sick! But I can’t, until dad thinks it’s the right time, whenever that will be.
“You feeling better son?”
“Yeah, thanks.” My mind is clearing and I don’t feel like a limp noodle anymore when the sugar starts circulating through my body.
“I’ll check your blood sugar in a few minutes, in the meantime eat your lunch. You might need to take the afternoon off, you’re looking ashy,” she says shoving a plate of roast beef and steamed vegetables in front of me.
“I’ll be fine. I have things to do.”
“Things can wait, it’s not safe to have you driving or riding around out there alone, I won’t have it.”
I slowly start in on the home cooked meal she’s prepared without bothering to argue. It’s pointless, I’ll be fine and I’m not cancelling my meeting with Charlotte unless I go into a coma.
The door opens and closes when my father stomps in for his midday fueling. “Smells good in here, you make my favorite, pretty lady?” He walks through the house with his eyes on mom like he’s going to have her for lunch instead of roast.
“I did, are you hungry?” She’s making him a plate at the counter when he moves behind her and slides his arms around her waist propping his chin on her shoulder.
“Very hungry,” he says in a suggestive tone that makes me a little nauseous again but not for lack of sugar in my blood.
“Dad, could you keep it G rated I’m trying to eat over here.” He grumbles something about grown men living at home with their mamas and releases my mother to move to the sink and wash up.
That was a shit thing to say whatever it was. I wouldn’t be living in this house if it weren’t for my mother’s failing health and he knows it. He asked me to move back in. I was perfectly happy in the ranch house on Hamlet pasture, mom has a thing for Shakespeare and all of our pastures are named after his tragic works. Othello, Macbeth, R&J, King Lear, that interestingly enough is what she named her favorite horse after.
When I lived in my own house I had privacy and room to spread out. Here I occupy one bedroom and share the rest of the 6000 square feet
home with my parents. It’s not the ideal situation for a man who isn’t interested in settling down.
My mother would have a stroke if she knew how many one-night stands I have. I can see it now, waltzing through the house with a sexy waitress from Ye Old Hill Tavern draped on my arm. Hi mom, dad, this is… what’s your name again? Karen? Oh yeah, this is Karen. We’re going to my room to have casual sex and she will be out of here by morning. Goodnight.
I chuckle and my dad raises an eyebrow when he sits down across from me at the table.
“Something funny?”
“Nah, just thinking about a joke Billy told me.”
He snorts, he knows I’m lying but he doesn’t push.”
“Beau had an episode this afternoon,” Mom says placing dad’s plate in front of him. She has always referred to hypoglycemia as an episode. I have no idea why.
“You need to take better care of yourself. Who am I gonna leave this place to if you’re not around?”
“Mack! Don’t talk like that.”
“It’s okay, Mom, he’s right, I was distracted this morning, it won’t happen again. I do need to get going though, I have a meeting.”
“A meeting? With who, that bull out in East Othello? That one’s been acting up something fierce lately. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“You’re not going alone are you?”
“Yes, Mom, I’ll be fine. You fed me and I’m feeling much better, I promise.”
“Maybe you should have Dale go with you since you’re not 100%, that animal is awful rowdy, you might need some help.”
“Sure all right, I’ll text him.”
I slip my phone from my breast pocket of my shirt and pull up Charlotte’s number. I need build trust with her and this is definitely not the way to do it but I’m not getting out of here anytime soon with these two on my back.
Can’t make it today, how about tomorrow? I text and wait for her reply which I assume will be immediate. But it’s not. Five minutes later she hasn’t replied. I look at the time and it’s already noon. She’s probably waiting at the hanger already, shit. The reception there might not be the best. I need to get to the airstrip before she thinks I stood her up.
