by Emerson Rose
“My family’s ranch blew away in a tornado.”
He’s silent while he absorbs the blow. I know how it feels, I’m still sorting through it myself.
“So you’re going home tomorrow?” he asks.
“Yeah, they need me, they’re living in a hotel. My sister says there’s nothing left, no house, no barns, no animals. Two of my friends died, another is injured, and my daddy let the insurance lapse so they can’t even rebuild.”
“Fuck, that’s terrible. I’m sorry, what can I do to help?”
“Can you fly me home tomorrow?”
“Of course, as long as you’re well enough I’ll fly you anywhere you want.”
“Thanks. I don’t even… I don’t know what to do. I can’t help them other than being there for support.”
“That’s a lot. Your family needs to be together during a crisis.”
“What will you do about Cannon?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got this, as long as I know you’re coming back to me eventually. You are coming home to me when it’s over, right?”
“Of course, yes, I told you I would stay.”
“That’s all I need, take your time, let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“I will, thank you. And thank you for taking such good care of me while I was sick.”
“No need to thank me for that, it’s part of the job.”
“What job?”
“The being your boyfriend job.”
“Being my boyfriend is a job?”
“Uh, yeah, I had to hold your hair while you puked.”
“Ew, yeah, that’s work.”
“I’m going to my office and make arrangements to get you home tomorrow. Is it okay if I leave him with you? I’m 90% sure he’s gonna be out for a couple of hours.
“Yeah, sure. Is he feeling better?”
“Yeah, just tired, like you.” He presses a soft kiss on my cheek and slides out of bed.
“Do you want me to put your parents up in a nice hotel?”
He’s such a good man. He’s been taking care of his son and me for two days, and now, instead of bolting to get some work done, he’s making flight plans for me and offering to take care of my parents.
“No, thank you, though. My daddy’s not big on accepting charity, although, he might have to learn to pretty soon from the sounds of it.”
“Okay, well if you change your mind let me know, and I’ll arrange it.”
“I will and, Ash…”
“Yeah, darlin’?”
Three words I’ve never said to a man teeter on the edge of my tongue but I chicken out at the last second. It’s too soon, too new, and I don’t want him to think I only said it because I’m shell-shocked over losing my home, although, I probably am.
“Uh, when will you be back?”
He pauses, and I swear he knows. After staring for a few seconds that feels like ten minutes, he answers.
“It shouldn’t take me long, less than an hour.”
“Okay.”
“Want me to bring you anything when I come back?”
“Um, maybe something to drink?”
“Whiskey neat?”
“Oh God, no. Water, please.”
“Figured you’d say no; I wouldn’t bring you whiskey anyway.”
“So why’d you offer?”
“Seeing if you drink under stress.”
“Well, now you know I don’t. You don’t have to trick me into telling you things. You can just ask.”
“Just make sure you keep giving me the opportunity to ask, okay?"
"I'm coming back, I promise."
There's nothing that could keep me from him now, not even a killer tornado.
14
A trip home to no home
Ash
Getting on my jet has never felt more wrong than it did today. Cannon, Stella, and I arrived in Redwater Montana an hour ago, and I want to load her back up and take her home already.
It’s not the town. Redwater is nice enough. It’s the not having access to her all the time that’s making me nuts. I dropped her off at a shabby hotel where her parents are staying and where she will be staying until things are sorted out.
Sorting out this mess could take a long time from the sounds of it, no insurance, no home, no savings. They have nothing. I offered more than once to help, but Stella insisted her parents were very proud people and would never accept it.
They might change their minds when they realize that being homeless and broke sucks, though. I told her to keep that idea in her back pocket just in case.
Cannon isn’t back to 100% yet, and flying didn’t help, but I couldn’t send her all alone to deal with this kind of loss, and I couldn’t leave Cannon at home for an unknown amount of time either.
So here we are, in the nicest hotel Redwater has to offer, which is about the equivalent of a decent Holiday Inn. Not even close to the Crimson Haven Hotel and Spa we stayed in for the convention. He’s never stayed in a regular hotel room before. He can’t understand why the kitchen only consists of a mini fridge and a one-cup coffee maker.
“How about a nap, buddy, you look tired.”
“I want Tella.”
He’s said this at least ten times since I dropped her off and I’ve thought it a good twenty times myself. “Me, too. You understand why she’s not staying with us, though, right? Her mama and daddy need her right now.”
“Cuz a nado took her house?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Can a nado take our house?’
“Maybe, but it’s not likely. We don’t have many tornadoes in Montana. This one was kind of rare. Hop up here and take a nap, I’ll lie with you.”
He trudges across the room and flops the top half of his body onto the bed dramatically and kicks off his shoes with no hands, before crawling up next to me.
“Will we see Tella at all?”
“I’m sure she will come and see us, and when she’s done, we will take her back home with us forever.”
“Forever? I get to keep her?”
“We get to keep her, yes.”
“Yesssss.”
“Okay now, don’t get all excited, you need to rest.”
We lie together for an hour before I’m sure he’s out. I roll out of bed and look around the room. Flat screen television, laptop, or phone? Those are my entertainment choices for the next however long we’re going to be here.
I grab my laptop and some ear buds to watch Netflix until Cannon wakes up, but it doesn’t hold my attention for long before my thoughts drift back to the woman I can’t get enough of.
I grab my phone and send her a text.
Me – Hey, how are things going?
Stella – Going out to the ranch to see the damage right now. This place is a roach motel. I miss you guys.
Me – We miss you, too. Cannon asked for you ten times before he went to sleep. I think he’s still worn out from the virus.
Stella – I hate that you two are stuck in that crappy hotel room waiting for me, and I’m not really doing anything.
Me – You’re doing something, you’re supporting your family. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Are you feeling okay?
Stella – I think that virus is still hanging onto me, too, I’m beat. What are you doing?
Me – Watching Netflix and thinking about you.
Stella – Wish I were there.
Me – You should come and spend the night. Your parents don’t expect you to stay in the same room with them, do they?
Stella – Yeah, unfortunately, they do. They would wonder where I got the money to stay in my own room and my stupid brother would probably want to come bunk with me anyway.
Me – You have a key if you change your mind. Any recommendations for dinner?
Stella – Do they have room service? There’s not much in Redwater in the way of restaurants, not like you’re used to anyway.
Me – Like I’m used to? I’ll eat fast food in a pinc
h, I’m not a snob.
Stella – lol We don’t even have fast food.
Me – I’m gonna have to get out of this room for a while, maybe the hotel restaurant, we’ll see.
Stella – Keep me updated, I’m as bored as you are.
Me – I doubt it, but it’s alright, take care of your family.
Stella – Thanks xo
I shut off Netflix and dive into my email and a few projects I’ve been putting off to spend time with Stella. If I’m going to be stuck in a hotel room, I might as well get some work done.
At six o’clock I wake Cannon. My stomach is growling, and if I let him sleep much longer, we will be up all night.
“You hungry? Let’s go down to the restaurant and see if they have burgers.”
“Is Tella having dinner with us?”
“No, she’s spending time with her family, remember?”
“Still?”
He’s still young enough that time has no meaning. “She went to the place where her ranch used to be today.”
“It’s all gone?”
“Yep, the tornado took everything.”
“Is she sad?”
I hadn’t noticed that she was especially sad, or shocked for that matter. Surprised maybe, but not grieving like I would be if a tornado sucked my house and my livelihood into the sky.
“I don’t know, I think so. You want to call her?”
His head snaps up, and his eyes brighten, “Yeah!”
“Let me text her first and see if she’s busy, hold on.”
Me – Can you take a phone call from a handsome man who misses you a lot?
Stella – What do you want to talk about?
Me – Not me, Cannon, but I’d love to hear your voice, too.
Stella’s name appears on the screen, and the phone rings.
“That’s her,” I say to Cannon and he starts to jump up and down.
“I wanna talk, I wanna talk.”
“Just a second. Hey, darlin’, how are you?”
“Ready to collapse, we just got back. The ranch is gone, Ash, like completely gone. There’s not one scrap of wood, one chicken, one cow, nothing.”
“I’m so sorry, honey. I can’t imagine how devastating that must have been to see.”
“You know what’s weird?”
Cannon is pulling on my belt trying to get my attention. “Just a second, I’ll let you talk to her, I promise.”
“Go ahead, sorry, he really misses you.”
“I miss you both, too, so much.”
“Okay, go back to what’s weird.”
“Well, I grew up on that ranch, and it’s been in our family for over one hundred years, but I’m not all choked up that it’s gone. Is that terrible of me? Everybody’s crying and torn up, and I feel almost… I don’t know, relieved.”
“Darlin’, you saw that place as a prison holding you back from life. Your parents and brother are ranchers, and your little sister’s about to be a vet, but you’re different. You have your own path to follow, and you’re a survivor. You see a shitty situation, and you take it for what it’s worth and move on, like me.”
“You think? So I’m not a monster? I feel like a traitor, like I’m faking being upset when inside I’m doing a little dance because I never have to work the land again.”
Cannon has me pulled down sitting on the edge of the bed, he won’t wait any longer. “You’re not a monster, but I have one here that’s dying to talk to you, do you mind holding that thought for a minute?”
“No, sure, put him on.”
I hand the phone to him, and he snatches it away like it's a check for a billion dollars. “Tella! I miss you, come eat dinner with us, pleeeaaassee.”
I wait and watch his facial expressions while she explains that she can’t have dinner with us tonight, or any night for a while. After a minute or two, he stands up and hands me the phone smiling.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m meeting you for dinner, I can’t tell him no. There’s a place in a town nearby called Morton’s, they have good food, but we’ll have to drive about twenty minutes.”
“What’s with the favoritism? How come you can say no to me, but not him? And by the way, I’d drive a lot further than that to have dinner with you.”
“I didn’t say no to dinner. I just said my parents would be suspicious if I didn’t stay with them while I’m here. I’ll have to tell them what’s going on with us before we go home, but they’ve got enough on their plate right now.”
I like that she referred to my house as her home it says a lot that she already feels that way. “I get it. Do you need me to pick you up?”
“Yeah, I’ll walk around the corner, though, so my parents don’t see me getting into a limo.”
“You embarrassed of my limo?”
“Well, it sorta sticks out like a sore thumb here in Podunk Redwater, but it’s better than walking in the rain.”
“It’s raining?”
She chuckles, “Yeah, it has been all afternoon, haven’t you opened the curtains.”
“Nope, I’ve been getting some work done while little man here napped.”
“That’s good, sick of Netflix already?”
“Yeah, that lasted about five minutes, I’m going to have to find another way to pass the time.”
“I’ll make you a list.”
“I’m sharing a room with my four-year-old son, make that list G-rated, honey.”
“I was going to anyway. I don’t want you doing anything X-rated without me.”
“No worries, I’m saving all of that for you.”
“I can’t wait, when are you leaving?”
“You ready now?”
“Yep, text me when you’re here.”
“Will do, darlin’.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
“Can we go?” Cannon asks with his hand on the doorknob.
“Yep, she’s ready, buddy, let’s go get her.”
15
Drunken I love yous
Stella
Morton’s was my favorite restaurant growing up. There aren’t many places in the world that promote the use of salt these days, but Morton’s is one of them.
In the lobby is a giant canister of salt that’s tipped to the side pouring tons of real salt into a bowl. The sound is like pouring sand. It takes me back to my childhood, specifically my tenth birthday when I was allowed to bring ten girlfriends out to eat with me. It was the best birthday ever.
“Tella, what’s that?”
“Salt, pretty cool, huh?”
“Can I touch it?”
“I don’t see why not.” I turn to Ash, “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, I’ll get us a table.”
“Ask for one by the window, the view of the mountains is incredible.”
He kisses me on my cheek, and I catch more than one woman watching the interaction with envy. Sexiest man alive, ladies, and he’s all mine.
Cannon is sticking his hand in the pouring salt when I catch up with him. Before I can stop him, he licks his finger. I shudder, yuck, that salt is probably recycled through the display hundreds of times a day.
“It’s really salt!” he yells, and I shush him gently.
“Gotta keep it down, buddy, we’re inside now, okay?”
“Okay, but, Tella, it’s real salt,” he whispers as loud as he can.
I smile and watch him enjoy the giant salt pouring display.”
“Table’s ready, the host saw you and got us right in, you must be famous,” Ash says with his chin on my shoulder and his hands sliding around my waist.
“I’m not the sexiest woman alive, but I have been coming here since I was Cannon’s age so I may have a little pull.”
“You’re my sexiest woman alive, and that’s all that counts.”
I turn my face to his and side kiss his mouth. “Thanks.”
“Anytime. Come on I’m starving, let's eat.”
Cannon yanks his hand out of
the salt when he sees me catching him and smiles the most adorable sheepish smile. No way was this kid is as bad as everybody says, no way.
On our way to the table, we pass a mother with three small children, two of which are fighting over a red crayon. When one boy screeches I had it first at the top of his lungs I jump. Holy shit, that sound should be illegal. I think I’m deaf in one ear.
The mother gives us an apologetic nod when we go by, and I smile at her like it didn’t bother me one bit.
“That’s just the tip of the iceberg,” Ash says pulling out my chair for me when we arrive at our table. The hostess hands us our menus and tells us our waiter’s name will be Brad, before leaving.
“Tip of what iceberg?” I ask.
“Meltdown madness, something I’m glad I don’t have to deal with anymore.”
I glance back and forth between the three kids who are climbing in and out of their chairs and Cannon. “Did you used to do things like that?”
“Uh huh.”
“I’ve never seen you act that way.”
“You’re my friend.”
“Yes, I am, but those kids shouldn’t act like that.”
He opens his package of crayons and starts to color on the kid’s menu. “They got a mommy. I don’t got a mommy.”
“Is that why you used to… yell?” I don’t want to label him naughty when I’ve never seen him act that way, but I've sure as hell heard him holler.
“Yeah, but now I got you, and you’re like a mommy.”
My heart turns to mush, and I look at Ash. He’s looking at his son like he’s seeing him for the first time. Cannon wanted the unconditional love of a mommy, not the fake attention of a nanny. All those years of acting like a holy hell-raiser were because he wanted a mom, just like I thought.
I reach out and lay my hand on Cannon’s back. “Thanks, buddy, that’s nice of you to say.”
And in true kid form, he shrugs and asks if he can have waffles for dinner. “Sure, they have really good ones here, you’ll like them.”
He stops coloring and snaps his head up, “Are they salty?”
I laugh, and Ash smiles, “No, they’re sweet, like you.” He smiles with pride for a moment and returns to coloring.
“How long do we have to go without you again?” Ash asks reaching across the table to take my hand.
