by Emerson Rose
I need something to do, a distraction. I should finish up whatever Stella wanted to do in the nursery. Not an ideal project for a man who doesn’t know shit about babies, but something to do nonetheless.
I take the stairs down to the second floor walking the long hall to the backside of the house where the nursery is right across from Ash and Stella’s room and down the hall from Cannon’s.
I open the door and flick on the light. I haven’t been in here before. I usually steer clear of anything baby related. I’m pleasantly surprised to find a very tastefully decorated room done in pale gray and accents of white and silver. No gaudy bubble-gum pink or superhero themes like Cannon’s Silver Surfer chrome bedroom. They didn’t know the baby’s sex, so they had to keep it neutral, but I have a feeling Stella would have chosen something classy anyway.
There are no sheets on the crib, and two piles of bedding are on the dresser—one pale pink and the other blue. I’m surprised Cannon didn’t put the pink sheets on and throw the blue ones in the fireplace. He was dead set on having a sister. It’s a good thing he was right.
I set about making the crib and taking things out of boxes to place on the built-in shelves surrounding the window. There are stuffed animals, books, Beatrix Potter bookends, a silver picture frame for Lydia’s first picture, and a music box that plays ‘Love Story’ by Francis Lai. I recognize the music because my wife used to play it on the piano for me. She said we were the perfect love story come true, and I suppose she was right.
But it was a love story that came to a screeching halt when cancer took my wife and my unborn baby from me nearly overnight. Stage four metastatic breast cancer. That’s what the doctor said when he sat us down in his office. I’ll never forget it. His hands were folded on the desk in front of him, and he looked at us straight on with no emotion. Chloe was five months’ pregnant, the baby wasn’t viable for another month, and they gave her three weeks to live. She didn’t even make it that long. It was like they were with me one day and gone the next.
I swore I would never love again, and I haven’t—until now. This thing with Allison is more powerful and passionate than what Chloe and I shared. Chloe and I had a love that was sturdy. It could withstand anything, except cancer.
That love was gentle and slow as where Allison and I are fierce, passionate, and desperate for one another. Chloe was a soft breeze where Allison is a gust of wind that takes your breath away.
I close the music box and place it on a shelf within Cannon’s reach so he can play it often for his baby sister, Lydia. I hope it brings them both beautiful memories.
When I close the door to Lydia’s nursery, it’s only been an hour. I head to my office to catch up on a few projects and work ahead on others. I don’t glance at the time again until my stomach growls, and it’s seven o’clock. Allison should have called an hour ago.
I will not overreact. I’ll make myself something to eat, and if she still hasn’t called by the time I’m done eating, I’ll text her. That’s reasonable, isn’t it? Yes, perfectly.
Thirty minutes later I’m done eating a turkey sandwich and still no call. I shoot her a casual message.
Me: Home yet?
I lay the phone on the coffee table turning the TV on for background noise and have a seat on the couch, the same couch Allison blew my mind from this morning. It seems like forever ago. I already miss her more than I expected I would. My phone dings a return text, and I grab the phone.
Allison: Yes, I’m home, just got in. Traffic was terrible, and they thought they lost my suitcase, and then I had to pick up David.
Me: I’m sorry but glad you’re both home safe and sound.
Allison: Thanks. Miss you already.
I close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. She misses me, too. Ever since I put her in that helicopter this morning, I’ve been worrying about what the distance between us will do to our feelings. Things were easy when she was within my reach night and day, and her only responsibility was to complete a photo shoot. Now she’s at home where work and her brother will be taking up the majority of her time.
Me: I miss you, too, more than you can know.
Allison: I almost turned around at the airport in Montana.
Me: I wish you would have. This house is crazy quiet.
Allison: That’s right, you’re all alone, aren’t you?
Me: Yes, unfortunately.
Allison: You’re always welcome here, you know.
Me: Thank you for the open invitation. I might need it. I’ll let you get unpacked and off to bed. Dream of me.
We talked about this before she left when we were scheduling times to see each other. I made it clear that I will not go to New York, but now, after being separated for a mere seven hours, I’m rethinking that decision.
Allison: I’m sure I will. Good night, Ridge.
Me: Good night, angel.
In the morning, I greet Ash, Stella, Cannon, and little Lydia when they arrive home from the hospital.
“It’s good to have you all home.” I take the car seat from Stella while Ash helps her with her coat. She looks exceptional for a woman who just had a baby two days ago. If I saw her on the street, I’d never guess.
“It’s good to be home, the food at that hospital was terrible,” Ash says. Olivia takes their coats, and we walk through the foyer toward the kitchen. “I need something other than processed turkey on a hamburger bun and slimy canned peaches.”
“I second that,” Stella says sitting down carefully at the kitchen table. I place the car seat holding a tiny Lydia at her feet.
“I want Caption Crunch,” Cannon announces climbing onto a bar stool at the island.
“That I can do,” I say opening a cupboard with bowls and crossing the kitchen to the pantry for his cereal. “I think Martha left homemade blueberry muffins in the container on the counter. If you want something cooked, I’ll get it for you. She had a dentist appointment this morning.”
“You don’t have to do that. I know how to scramble some eggs. It’s no big deal,” Ash says looking in all the wrong cupboards for a pan.
“Please, I’ve been bored out of my mind, let me do it,” I say.
Ash closes the cupboard where garbage bags are kept and looks at me. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
I nod. “I’m sure.”
Ash sits with Stella, and Lydia sleeps in her seat while I pour Cannon his cereal and cook breakfast. “Ridge, I want to thank you again for everything,” Stella says getting up to butter the toast that popped up.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad it all turned out well.”
“Ridge, I know I’m on vacation.” He holds up his hands making quotation marks around the word vacation. “Which means you’re on vacation, but would you mind making plans to get Charlotte and Beau here for a few days this week?”
“Of course, I’ll get right on it.” Thank God, something to do. Not that it will be difficult or time-consuming, a few phone calls about the jet and an itinerary will take care of it, but I’m glad to help.
“Also, I finished putting things away in the nursery, and Ash, there are a few forms on your desk you need to sign. You don’t have to do anything, just sign them. I know you’re on vacation.” I hold up quotation marks when I say vacation as he did, and both of them laugh.
“Ridge, was that a joke you just made? I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you goof around,” Ash says smiling.
“That’s what happens when you fall in love, honey,” Stella says to her husband like she’s speaking to a child. He takes it in stride and rolls his eyes. “Speaking of that, when did Allison leave for New York?”
“Yesterday morning.”
She’s quiet for a moment staring at me in disbelief. “What?” I ask sitting down next to her at the table.
“You didn’t deny it.”
“Deny what?”
“That you love her. I used the word love, and you didn’t freak out or correct me.”
I shrug and sit bac
k lifting my leg to rest my ankle on my knee. I’m not going to deny it. I’m not sure if it’s love, but it damn sure is something.
Her eyes widen, and she gasps. “It’s true. You love her. Ash, Ridge loves Allison.” She shoves her husband’s shoulder.
“That’s great,” he says with less enthusiasm. He’s a guy. Guys don’t freak out about feelings.
“That’s great? That’s all you have to say? This is monumental, Ridge, I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you, it’s all new, and we aren’t sure how well the long-distance thing will work, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”
“Anything you want, Ridge, just ask, and it’s yours. Extra time off, use of the jet, whatever. These eggs are fantastic by the way,” she says taking a huge bite.
“Did you just tell my personal assistant and head of security he can do anything he wants?” Ash asks Stella.
“I did. He delivered our daughter into the world. It’s the least we can do.” She gives him a what are you going to do about it look and lifts her chin defiantly.
“She’s never gonna let me live that down, ya know?” Ash says to me, and I chuckle. They both know the other is kidding. And they both know with one hundred percent certainty that I would never take advantage of that offer.
I stand and push in my chair. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have some travel plans to make for your sister and her family. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“I’m sure we’ll be okay. In fact, if you want to say, oh you know, fly to New York and visit a certain raven-haired beauty for a few days, I think that would be okay, too.”
“Very generous of you Mrs. Pride, but I’m not a fan of big cities. I’ll wait until she comes to visit in two weeks.” Her eyes light up at the mention of her return.
“She’s coming to visit? That’s wonderful! Aren’t you glad you didn’t hide from her this time?”
She has no idea how glad.
14
Allison
The Cat’s Out Of The Bag
A knock at my office door pulls my focus from the computer screens in front of me where I’m going through the pictures from my latest shoot.
“Come in,” I call out and relax back into my chair.
“Ms. Green, do you have a moment?” It’s my boss, Caroline McGee. Well, my boss’s boss to be more accurate. She has never visited me in my office before. Shit, what did I do?
I rack my brain trying to think of what it could be. Did I go over the budget on our trip to Montana? No, Ash paid for the private jet which saved the magazine a lot of money right there. Have I been late on an assignment? No. Long lunch? No.
“Yes, of course,” I say standing up and gesturing toward the chair on the other side of my desk. “It’s so nice to see you, Ms. McGee. What can I do for you?”
“I’m glad you asked.” She sits down smoothing her white pencil skirt under her behind that rumor has it she spent a fortune augmenting. “I’ve recently become aware of your new relationship. I’m pleased you’ve finally found someone.”
My relationship? Who would have told her about Ridge and me? I’ve only told two people here in New York—Grace and David—that’s it, nobody else. And why is she asking? And what does she mean finally? I’m fast becoming defensive and irritated, but I can’t let my boss know.
“Thank you.” Short and sweet, don’t give her any more than you have to.
“You’re welcome. My reason for visiting is I wanted to ask if you think Mr. Noble would be interested in doing a follow-up interview with us. It would be a ‘look at me now’ kind of thing. Since he went off the grid and hadn’t been seen or heard from for five years, I think our readers would like to know what happened to him after the trial.”
Shit, this is my worst nightmare. I was so careful not to expose Ridge, how did this happen? There’s no way in hell he would give an interview and especially not one like that.
“I’m sorry, did you say how you came across this information? About who I’m dating, I mean.”
“Oh no, I have no idea. You know the gossip that goes on around here, it’s rampant, but we are a celebrity magazine after all.”
I have no idea what she means by that, but it’s certainly not an answer.
“Well, your source was wrong, I’m afraid. I’m not dating anyone named Mr. Noble. I don’t know who that is.” My first instinct is to play dumb. I can’t get caught in between Ridge and my boss.
She frowns. I think it’s hard to tell with all that Botox in her forehead. “No? My goodness, how embarrassing, it must have been a rumor. But you are dating someone yes?”
“Yes.”
She tips her head down and looks at me over her designer glasses that she doesn’t even need. “Someone you met in Montana?”
Shit, she’s not going to let this go. “Yes, that’s right.”
She smiles a big toothy fake smile, and I have the overwhelming urge to wipe her blood-red lipstick off of her perfect white porcelain caps. “Well, I apologize for interrupting your work, dear. I won’t keep you any longer. Congratulations on your new boyfriend.”
“Thank you. Have a nice day,” I call after her. Have a nice day? I just lied to my boss, and that’s what I say? I sound so stupid. She’s probably on her way to have her spies dig up more information on my boyfriend, and I’m telling her to have a nice day.
We’ve been dating long distance for six weeks now and never once have we let our guard down. No one knows about us besides Ash and his family and staff and my brother. No one.
I dig my phone out from under the proofs that are spread out on my desk and call Ridge. I never call him during the day, and he answers on the first ring.
“What’s wrong?” Not even a hello.
“I’m not sure. We might have a problem. My boss just came into my office and asked if you would like to do a ‘look at me now’ follow-up interview with the magazine. She said she heard I was dating you but nobody knows, Ridge, I swear.”
“It’s okay, calm down. What did you tell her?”
“I told her I don’t know any Mr. Noble, but she knows whoever I’ve been seeing lives in Montana. She brought it up like she was dropping a hint or a warning.”
“And nobody there knows who I am but David?”
I pause, I haven’t told him Grace knows, but surely she wouldn’t tell when I specifically told her not to. “Angel?”
“There’s one other person. My friend here at work, Grace, she’s the one I went to first before I even knew you. I asked her to look you up. I asked her not to mention it though, and I can’t imagine she would, she’s my friend.”
There’s a rustling on the other end of the line, and I imagine him pushing his hand through his hair or rubbing his face like he does when he’s frustrated. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Ask Grace if she mentioned it to anyone. If she didn’t, we would have to assume your boss has someone watching us. Either way, it’s not the end of the world. I can’t hide forever, maybe it’s for the best.”
“For the best? I thought you wanted to keep your life out of the public eye.”
“I do, and I will. Even if she finds out it’s me, she can’t make me do the interview. Worse case scenario, we end up with a bunch of paparazzi outside the ranch and your apartment.”
“We can’t do that to Ash and Stella, and it might freak David out, too.”
“I’ll talk to Ash and Stella, they know all about my past, they’ll understand. You talk to David. Is it possible that she believed you about not knowing me?”
“No. Her tone was threatening. She wanted to be sure I was reading between the lines. Ridge, what if they fire me for lying? I can’t lose this job. I have David.”
“All right now, you’re getting way ahead of yourself. They can’t fire you for dating me or lying about who you’re dating, that’s none of their damn business. I know you were just here last weekend, but what do you have going on this weekend? I want to see
you.”
“Nothing, I don’t have anything, but I’m not sure about David. Do you think I should be coming out there right now? What if they send somebody to follow me?”
“I wasn’t planning on you coming here. I’ll put together a weekend vacation, just the three of us somewhere warm, how’s that sound?”
“It sounds fantastic.”
“Good, leave it to me. Now go back to work and forget about all of this. It’ll be okay no matter what happens.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I’m always right. I love you, angel, don’t ever forget that.”
“I love you, too.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” The call disconnects, and I sit staring out the window of my office at hundreds of rooftops. What if I did get fired? I love my job, don’t I? I need my job, but lately, I’ve been feeling like I could be doing more. I thought photography would be a way to bring joy to people’s lives. But more and more my photographs feel like an invasion of privacy or shallow documentaries of the fake lives of movie stars and musicians.
And as my relationship with Ridge has grown, I’ve started thinking about a future with him. How would that work? I can’t very well live and work in the city when he hates it here, but David has school and friends that he’s known his entire life.
Enough. I can’t keep worrying about things I have no control over right this minute. I’m going to finish my work, go home, and have dinner with David and sit in the tub forever or at least until the water gets cold, and I shrivel up like a prune.
My phone dings notifying me of an incoming text message. It’s from Grace, shit. I open it up and read what I already suspected.
Grace: I messed up.
Me: Oh Gracie, what have you done?
Grace: I’m so sorry, it wasn’t intentional.
Me: Who did you tell?
Grace: He doesn’t work here, you don’t know him. I was drunk. God, Allison, can you ever forgive me?
Me: It’s all right, we’re figuring it out, and I’m not mad at you.
That’s not true. I am a little mad. Grace has a bad habit of blabbering other people’s business when she’s had too much to drink. But I do wonder who she was blabbering to that would get that information back to my boss.
