ZOE: Why didn’t he want you to talk to him at school?
EVAN: He didn’t really want people to know we were friends. I guess he was embarrassed. A little.
CYNTHIA: Why would he be embarrassed?
EVAN: Um. I guess because he thought I was sort of, you know . . .
ZOE: A nerd?
LARRY: Zoe.
ZOE: Isn’t that what you meant?
EVAN: Loser, I was going to say, actually. But. Nerd works, too.
CYNTHIA: That wasn’t very nice.
ZOE: Well, Connor wasn’t very nice, so that makes sense.
(Cynthia takes a breath, struggles to maintain her poise.)
CYNTHIA: Connor was . . . he was a complicated person.
ZOE: No, Connor was a bad person. There’s a difference.
LARRY: Zoe, please.
ZOE (To Larry): Don’t pretend like you don’t agree with me.
(Cynthia’s distress grows more and more difficult for Evan to watch.)
CYNTHIA: You refuse to remember any of the good things. / You refuse to see anything positive.
ZOE: / Because there were no good things. What were the good things?
CYNTHIA: I don’t want to have this conversation in front of our guest.
ZOE: What were the good things, Mom? / Tell me.
CYNTHIA: / There were good things.
(Before even thinking, Evan finds the words tumbling out.)
EVAN: I remember a lot of good things about Connor.
(All eyes turn to him at once, as he realizes what he’s done.)
ZOE: Like what?
EVAN: Never mind. I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry, never mind.
CYNTHIA: No, Evan. You were saying something.
EVAN: It doesn’t matter. Really.
CYNTHIA: We want to hear what you have to say. Please.
(Beat.)
EVAN: Well, I was just . . . Connor and I . . . we had a really great time together, this one day, recently.
(Evan keeps talking, unsure if he’s connecting or not.)
That’s something good that I remember about Connor.
That’s what I keep thinking about. That day.
(His eyes land on the bowl of apples in front of him.)
At the apples, um . . . the apples . . . place.
(Beat.)
Anyway. It’s, I knew it was stupid. I don’t know why I even brought it / up.
CYNTHIA: / He took you to the orchard?
(Evan looks at Cynthia, sees the hope in her eyes.
Even Zoe has turned silent.)
EVAN: Yes. He did.
CYNTHIA: When?
EVAN: Once. It was just that once. But. He said the apples there were the best.
LARRY: I thought that place closed. Years ago.
EVAN: Exactly. Which is why we were so bummed when we got there, because it was completely, it’s totally closed down now.
CYNTHIA: We used to go to the orchard all the time. We’d do picnics out there. Remember that, Zoe?
ZOE: Yeah. I do.
CYNTHIA (To Larry): You and Connor had that little toy plane you would fly. Until you flew it into the creek.
LARRY (Can’t help but smile): That was an emergency landing.
CYNTHIA (To Evan): I can’t believe he took you there. I bet that was fun. I bet you two, I bet you had fun.
EVAN: We did. The whole day was just . . .
FOR FOREVER
EVAN:
End of May or early June
This picture-perfect afternoon we share
CYNTHIA (To Larry): What was the name of that ice cream place out there we loved?
LARRY: À La Mode.
CYNTHIA: That was it. À La Mode. And they had that homemade hot fudge . . .
EVAN:
Drive the winding country road
Grab a scoop at “À La Mode” and then . . . we’re there
CYNTHIA: We’d sit in that meadow with all the sycamores. (To Zoe) And you and your brother would look for four leaf clovers.
EVAN:
An open field that’s framed with trees
We pick a spot and shoot the breeze like buddies do
Quoting songs by our fav’rite bands
Telling jokes no one understands except us two
And we talk and take in the view
All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever
This way
Two friends on a perfect day
LARRY: I’d completely forgotten about that place.
CYNTHIA: Well, I guess Connor didn’t. (Looks to Evan) Did he?
EVAN:
We walk a while and talk about
The things we’ll do when we get out of school
Bike the Appalachian Trail
Or write a book, or learn to sail
Wouldn’t that be cool?
There’s nothing that we can’t discuss
Like, girls we wish would notice us but never do
He looks around and says to me,
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” and I say, “Me too”
And we talk and take in the view
We just talk and take in the view
All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever
This way
This way
All we see is light for forever
’Cause the sun shines bright for forever
We could be all right for forever this way
Two friends on a perfect day
And there he goes
Racin’ toward the tallest tree
From far across a yellow field
I hear him callin’, “Follow me”
There we go
Wonderin’ how the world might look from up so high
One foot after the other
One branch, then to another
I climb higher and higher
I climb ’til the entire sun shines on my face
And I suddenly feel the branch give way
I’m on the ground
My arm goes numb
I look around
And I see him come to get me
He’s come to get me
And ev’rything’s okay
All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Buddy, you and I for forever this way
This way
All we see is light
’Cause the sun burns bright
We could be all right for forever this way
Two friends
True friends
On a perfect day
(Cynthia slowly crosses to Evan.
She hugs him, hard.)
CYNTHIA: Thank you, Evan. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
SEVEN
Evan and Jared, online.
JARED: His parents think you were lovers. You realize that, right?
EVAN: What? Why would they think that?
JARED: Um. You were best friends but he wouldn’t let you talk to him at school? And when you did, he kicked your ass? That’s like the exact formula for secret gay high school lovers.
EVAN: Oh my God.
JARED: This is why I told you—what did I tell you? You just nod and confirm.
EVAN: I tried to. I just, you don’t understand. I got nervous and I started talking, and then once I started, I just . . .
JARED: You couldn’t stop.
EVAN (Realizing the truth of this as he says it): They didn’t want me to stop.
JARED: So what else did you completely fuck up?
EVAN: Nothing. Seriously.
(Beat.)
I mean, I told them we wrote emails.
JARED: Emails.
EVAN: Yeah. I told them that Connor and I, Connor had a secret email account . . .
JARED: Oh, right. One of those “secret”
email accounts. Sure. For sending pictures of your penises to each other.
EVAN (Ignoring this): Yeah and so I said, he had this secret account, and we would send emails to each other.
JARED: I mean, honestly? Could you be any worse at this?
EVAN (It suddenly occurs to him): They’re going to want to see our emails.
JARED (Sarcastic): You think?
EVAN: What am I going to do?
JARED: I can do emails.
EVAN: How?
JARED: It’s easy. You make up an account, backdate the emails. There’s a reason I was the only CIT with key card access to the computer cluster this summer: I have skills, son.
EVAN: You would do that?
JARED: For two grand.
EVAN: Two thousand dollars?
JARED: Five hundred.
EVAN: I can give you twenty.
JARED: Fine. But you’re a dick.
(Lights out on Jared.
Heidi enters Evan’s bedroom, carrying a sheaf of papers, still in her work clothes.)
HEIDI: Hey you. I have some very exciting news. Look what I found online today: college scholarship essay contests. Have you heard of these?
EVAN: I think so . . .
HEIDI: NPR did a whole thing about it this morning. There are a million different ones you can do. A million different topics. I spent my whole lunch break looking these up.
(She hands him the pages, summarizing each one as she does.)
The John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Scholarship—three thousand dollars, college of your choice. Henry David Thoreau Society, five thousand dollars . . .
EVAN: Wow.
HEIDI: College is going to be so great for you, honey. How many times in life do you get the chance to just . . . start all over again?
EVAN: No, I know.
HEIDI: You’ve got so much, so many wonderful things ahead of you. High school isn’t always . . . the only people that like high school are cheerleaders and football players and those people all end up miserable anyway. Yeah, you’re going to find yourself in college. I really think so. I mean, I wish I could go with you . . . but . . .
(Sensing Evan’s lack of enthusiasm, Heidi begins to feel a bit embarrassed.)
I just thought these were . . . it seemed like a neat idea.
EVAN: It is. For sure.
HEIDI: You’ve always been a wonderful writer. And we’re going to need all the help we can get for college. Unless your stepmother has a trust fund for you I don’t know about, with all those fabulous tips she made cocktail waitressing . . .
(Evan pretends to laugh along, as Heidi struggles to find a transition.)
Hey. I, um, I got an email from your school today. About a boy who killed himself? Connor Murphy? I didn’t, I had no idea.
EVAN: Oh. Yeah. Well . . . I didn’t really know him.
HEIDI: You know that . . . if you ever, if you want to talk about anything . . . I realize that lately it must feel like, I’m always working or I’m in class . . .
EVAN: It’s fine.
HEIDI: Well, I’m here. And if I’m not here here, I’m a phone call away. Or text. Email. Whatever.
EVAN: Thanks.
(Heidi, unable to ignore the obvious any longer, points to Evan’s cast.)
HEIDI: All right. It says, “Connor.”
EVAN: Oh. Yeah. No.
HEIDI: You said you didn’t know him.
EVAN: No. I didn’t. This is . . . it’s a different Connor.
(Heidi sighs, relieved, as she smiles at her own anxiety.)
HEIDI: I was so worried.
EVAN: No. I’m sure.
HEIDI (Brightening): Hey, you know what? How about I bag my shift next Tuesday? When’s the last time we did a taco Tuesday?
EVAN: Oh. You don’t have to.
HEIDI: No, you’ve been back at school for a week already and I’ve barely seen you. Maybe we could even start brainstorming those essay questions together . . .
EVAN: That would be great.
HEIDI: Oh. That’s exciting. I’m excited now. Something to look forward to.
EVAN: Me too.
(Heidi picks up the bottle of pills by his bed, asks gingerly:)
HEIDI: Are you okay on refills?
EVAN: Yes.
HEIDI: Well. Don’t stay up too late.
EVAN: I won’t.
HEIDI: I love you.
EVAN: I love you, too.
(She stands there in the doorway for a moment, hesitating, unsettled somehow.
Finally, she shuts the door.)
EIGHT
A spotlight. Connor, wearing the clothes we last saw him in, steps into it.
SINCERELY, ME
CONNOR:
Dear Evan Hansen:
We’ve been way too out of touch
Things have been crazy
And it sucks that we don’t talk that much
But I should tell you that I think of you each night
I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight
(Lights snap up on Jared, seated, typing on a laptop, as Evan stands, reading over his shoulder with dismay.)
EVAN: Why would you write that?
JARED: I’m just trying to tell the truth.
EVAN: You know, if you’re not going to take this seriously—
JARED: Okay, you need to calm yourself.
EVAN: This needs to be perfect. These emails have to prove that we were actually friends. They have to be completely realistic.
JARED: There is nothing unrealistic about the love that one man feels for another.
EVAN: Just, let’s go back.
JARED: In fact, some would say there’s something quite beautiful . . .
EVAN: Let’s go back, Jared.
CONNOR:
I gotta tell you, life without you has been hard
JARED (Laughing): Hard?
CONNOR:
Has been bad
JARED (Meh): Bad?
CONNOR:
Has been rough
JARED (Just right): Kinky.
CONNOR:
And I miss talking about life and other stuff
JARED: Very specific.
EVAN: Shut up.
CONNOR:
I like my parents—
JARED: Who says that?
CONNOR:
I love my parents
But each day’s another fight
If I stop smoking drugs
Then ev’rything might be all right
JARED: “Smoking drugs”?
EVAN: Just fix it.
JARED: This isn’t realistic at all. It doesn’t even sound like Connor.
EVAN: I want to show that I was, like, a good friend. That I was trying to help him. You know?
JARED: Oh my God . . .
CONNOR:
If I stop smoking crack—
EVAN (Aghast): Crack?
CONNOR:
If I stop smoking pot
Then ev’rything might be all right
I’ll take your advice
I’ll try to be more nice
I’ll turn it around
Wait and see
’Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It’s easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do
Is just believe you can be who you wanna be
Sincerely, me
JARED: Are we done yet?
EVAN: I can’t just show them one email.
JARED: Okay. Please stop hyperventilating.
EVAN: I’m not hyperventilating.
JARED: You’re having considerable trouble breathing.
EVAN: I’m having no trouble breathing.
JARED: Do you need a paper bag to breathe in?
EVAN: I am NOT HYPERVENTILATING.
Dear Connor Murphy:
Yes, I also miss our talks
Stop doing drugs
Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks
JARED: No . . .
EVAN:
I’m sending pictures of the most amazing trees
JARED: No . . .
EVAN:
You’ll be obsessed with all my forest expertise
JARED: Absolutely not.
EVAN:
Dude, I’m proud of you
Just keep pushing through
You’re turnin’ around
I can see
CONNOR:
Just wait and see
EVAN/CONNOR:
’Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It’s easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do
Is just believe you can be who you wanna be
Sincerely . . .
EVAN:
Me.
CONNOR:
My sister’s hot.
EVAN (To Jared): What the hell?
JARED: My bad.
CONNOR:
Dear Evan Hansen:
Thanks for ev’ry note you send
EVAN:
Dear Connor Murphy:
I’m just glad to be your friend
EVAN/CONNOR:
Our friendship goes beyond
Your av’rage kind of bond
EVAN:
But not because we’re gay
CONNOR:
No, not because we’re gay
EVAN/CONNOR:
We’re close but not that way
The only man
That I love
Is my dad
CONNOR:
Well, anyway
EVAN:
You’re getting better ev’ry day
CONNOR:
I’m getting better ev’ry day
EVAN:
Keep
CONNOR:
Getting
EVAN:
Better
CONNOR:
Ev—
EVAN:
—’ry
EVAN/CONNOR/JARED:
Day
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
’Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
Dear Evan Hansen Page 4
