Unimaginable pain.
I wrapped my arms around my waist in a tight hug.
Was this why?
I could not understand the mechanics of what had occurred when the curse had befallen our worlds. All I knew was there’d been a different version of me before the curse and then after the curse, I’d taken over her body, with all my memories of the previous timeline intact and none of the memories of this one.
The only source material I had were the rumors I’d heard, but it was difficult trying to decipher if any of it was even real or nothing more than elaborate lies.
Then again, I was very pregnant. And that was absolutely no lie. I’d been hiding my now far more voluptuous body behind glamour, appearing as I should, with a flat stomach and not quite so curvy in the breasts or thighs. Mainly because I had no idea how to explain this to Caly or Hades. They weren’t my parents, and I knew they wouldn’t give two hells that I was pregnant, but it was weirdly embarrassing all the same.
I shuddered, squeezing my eyes shut and wishing I had the answers to the unanswerable. I mean, I could visit the Fates. They’d probably tell me. But the other part of the problem was that I wasn’t entirely certain I wanted to know just what the other me had done in this new world to make my Hephy hate me so.
He’d cast me out before I’d even known I was pregnant, so surely he couldn’t know that. Then again, we were gods, and far stranger things had happened.
I groaned, ripping out chunks of grass in my frustration before tossing them high and watching them float off like chaff in the wind.
“What did that grass ever do to you, my sweet one?” Caly’s dewy ocean scent wrapped me up in a velvet embrace, and I leaned my head against her shoulder once she’d taken a seat beside me.
She had no idea about my pregnancy, mostly because I still didn’t have a clue how to broach the subject. She would ask questions that I’d have no answers to. And then I would cry, and that would be humiliating.
I bit my bottom lip, and she hugged me tight with one arm. Hades sat beside me on the other side, hugging me tight with his other arm, his head on my shoulder, and I trembled as my friends and my only true family held me as if I was so very dear and precious to them.
Caly wasn’t the most patient sort. Never had been. But she didn’t utter a sound, only brushed her fingers through my hair and softly sang beneath her breath in her goddess-awful and ear-bleeding voice that was strangely soothing to me anyway.
Hades, meanwhile, was twisting his fingers through the air, calling forth the darkness of his land and creating a bouquet of shadow flowers that gleamed like black pearls before gently placing them on my lap.
I smiled softly, feeling the lump in my throat start to lessen finally.
“I am sorry,” I murmured after what could have been an hour or minutes.
“Never say sorry. Not ever.” Calyssa shook her head, staring at me boldly. Her skin was sea glass and beautiful to behold. She kissed my forehead and sighed deeply, looking at the reuniting ghosts just as Hades and I had hours before.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Hades intoned. “You’ve been treated most ill, Dite. The curse is a cruel thing, but I do believe, my friend, that you’ve borne much more than your fair share of it.”
I wiggled my toes together, biting my lower lip, stomach hurting and trembling as the magical little lives within me danced and swirled. I should tell them now.
“I…” I hiccupped. The words were so much harder to say than I’d thought they would be. I hugged my arms to my waist.
Caly’s now aquamarine eyes blazed like lanterns in the night. In some ways, she was so very different, but in others, in the ways that really mattered, she’d not changed much at all. She was a god killer to most, but to me, she was just my Caly. My sister. My friend.
Her hand pressed softly, almost tenderly to my belly, and I gasped, shocked and speechless as I stared at her, petrified and shaking as blood rushed all the way through me.
“You know you can tell us anything, right, sweetling?”
I blinked. “What?”
Hades, who was now resting his head on my lap as he toyed with the edge of my red satin gown, nodded looking severe and grave, like a beloved brother who felt compelled to speak but couldn’t quite figure out where best to start.
I stared between the two of them for several heartbeats before finally asking, “You both know, don’t you?”
Caly licked her glassy lips and looked at me for a long time before reluctantly nodding. “Hades was reading up on our new history, trying to learn all he could of this new world we’ve been thrust into, and there was a new section. On you.”
My jaw dropped, and I scooted my legs out from under Hades’s head. He sat up, looking flushed and embarrassed, unable to meet my gaze.
“How long did you know?” I asked, voice sharp with accusation, feeling exposed by the very people who I’d never expected to hurt me so.
He shoved his fingers through his hair, causing the tips to poke straight up. “Only since yesterday. I vow it.”
Trembling with something that felt an awful lot like relief, I hugged my arms tight to my body. At least they’d not tried to keep the truth from me. That said a lot.
“What… what was in there that wasn’t there before?”
Calyssa and Hades shared a look, and I was deeply troubled by their expressions of obvious concern. I swallowed hard, palms sweating and stomach going topsy-turvy on me.
Heat flared up my throat, and I was going to vomit.
But then Caly grabbed my head, and her coolness swept through me, instantly easing my discomfort and pain.
“Dites, I have something to tell you, and before you speak, I need you to hear me out. Completely. Because this is ultimately your decision, and in this, I will wholeheartedly back you up. I’ve done something,” she whispered, and the Underworld was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
My brows dipped. “What have you done?”
Hades, ever quick to defend his queen, cut in. “You must understand, beloved heart, that our intentions were good. But we should have asked you first. And we can undo this if you should decide. But Caly—”
Calyssa straightened her shoulders, looking regal of bearing as only an elemental of her stature could. “I went to Olympus and demanded a trial. For you and… your mate.”
I blinked. “What?” The word was barely more than a whisper. But then as the shock began to wear off and I realized what she’d truly done, I said it again, stronger, with more conviction. “What?”
She held up a finger, and though we were the very best of friends and I trusted that Calyssa would never knowingly harm me, I did know, too, that she was an elemental with an elemental’s temperament. I would hear my friend out. But I wasn’t sure what to feel or think right now.
“It was not right what those bastards were trying to do to you, Dites. It’s one thing for me to call you names, because I love and care for you. But for the whole of Olympus to believe you’re some whoremongering bitch is beyond the pale. I cannot bear it. And to see you this low.” She shuddered and squeezed my flailing hands, bringing them to her lap. “Knowing the children you will soon bear. It wasn’t right. They have to be made to see the truth. Though most of them cannot remember any other life, I saw it with my own eyes tonight. But if you want that meathead back, then bloody hell, I’m going to do all in my power to make him listen to reasoning in a setting where he will be unable to flee from his responsibilities.”
My heart clenched, and tears burned in my eyes. My initial reaction had been anger. But as I thought it through, I realized that Calyssa hadn’t done any of this to harm me, rather to help me. And how could you be angry when a friend cared so very much for you? You couldn’t. That was the end of it. “You would do that? For me?”
She sighed, no longer looking regal or imperious, but like Caly, my very dearest and best friend.
“I fear I would do a great many things for you, sweetling. My
reputation is quite ruined by now, I am sure.”
I grinned. “Yes, now the rest of the pantheon knows you’ve got a great big squishy center, just like me.”
She glowered. “Do not go screeching that to the night, Dites. It’s humiliating.”
I chuckled softly, but then I grew very serious, looking at both her and Hades and softly shaking my head.
“Do you hate us?” he asked, and in the thick tenor of his lovely voice, I heard the pain he tried to hide at the thought.
I’d fought like the devil to fix my friends, to bring my family back. And though I’d been unsuccessful at repairing my bonds with Hephy, I had fixed the brother and sister of my heart.
“I could never hate you,” I said honestly, “either of you. But you do understand that a trial will expose me completely.”
Calyssa sighed. “Yes. And if there is one shame I bear in all of this, it is that. I hate the very thought of it, but deep down, I know you know that it is the only way to prove to the buggering whoresons that what you’ve claimed all along is true. What will be exposed will be the exploits of another. Not you. Once Themis taps into your memories, the truths, your truth, will be shown to the world.”
“Even the old me had skeletons, Caly,” I reminded her gently, unable to hide the pain in my voice at the thought. There’d been a time when I’d not been nice or sweet, and all the things the pantheon thought of me had very definitely been justified. There was a part of me that was vain, selfish, petty, and vindictive. It was still in me and something I fought to overcome on a near daily basis.
She grabbed my hand, brought my knuckle to her mouth, and planted a hard kiss upon it. “Don’t we all, sister. But you are an amazing, kind-hearted, and beautiful woman. Not just on the outside, but mostly on the inside. So what if you were a hagfish once? People grow. They learn. They mature. As you did. You grew to be quite wise, goddess of love and lust, and they should know that. As I do. It is time to restore you to your former glory. Stop cowering and hiding, my Dites. I cannot bear to see this tragedy anymore. The world needs you, Love. And so do your offspring.”
I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and closed my eyes. “I don’t even know whose they are.” I laughed, but through my humor came a blanket of tears. “Oh gods, the Fates were so cruel to me. I am with children, and I do not recall conceiving them or even who the bloody father is.”
Two sets of arms wrapped tightly around me. Hades, in his deep whiskey-accented voice, said, “At least in that I can be helpful. If you’d like to know the truth, Dite, I can supply you with it.”
A part of me still didn’t want to know. Because there was some bliss in ignorance. But if I was going to trial, then I’d learn it anyway. And maybe the best offense was a good defense. If I knew, I could prepare myself for what came next once the others on Mt. Olympus learned it too.
Being far braver than I’d ever been before, I looked steadily up at him. “Tell me, Hades. Who is the father?”
His smile was soft, gentle. But his words were strong and powerful. “Ares. Ares is the father. And you now carry Phobos, Himeros, and Deimos—fear, lust, and dread. You also have four other children from him in this new world, offspring you conceived long before your handfasting to Hephaestus. Adestria, Anteros, Eros, and Harmonia—revenge, requited love, sexual desire, and harmony.”
A cry like that of a wounded animal sprang from my lips, and wherever my tears fell, spiraling formations were birthed, creating a garden of glittering gemstones to add to the beauty that was Elysia.
I now understood why Hephy hated me, and my heart broke in two all over again. The one promise I’d ever given him in the other world was surely the same one I’d given him in this one. And unlike before, I’d very clearly broken faith with him.
He would never forgive me for this.
Not ever. I was sure of it.
But maybe Caly and Hades were right. I was tired of shouldering the burden of another alone. I was done playing the martyr. It was time to show them my side of the story. Tell my truth. And maybe then I could finally be free of all this pain. Because I was about to step into the role of mother, and I had to give them all of me, not just the scraps of me. If Hephy didn’t want me anymore, then fine. I would learn to live without him. It would be a pain most brutal, but I would learn, because I had no choice in the matter anymore.
Looking at Caly, I dipped my head and, in a strong, unwavering voice, said, “Let us do this thing, Calyssa. Together. As we’ve always done.”
“Always,” she whispered right back at me.
And together the three of us sat right where we were until the cock crowed thrice the next morning.
Caly stood, and so did Hades, and together they held out their hands to me. I took each one. And just as she’d promised, together we went to Themis’s hall of justice.
It was time to lay these demons to bed. And no matter what I saw or what I learned, I knew I wasn’t alone anymore.
And that was enough.
Chapter 38
Hephaestus
I groaned as a sharp snapping slap woke me up from the empty darkness I’d been floating in.
When I blinked, it was to see a jury of my peers standing around me, all of them looking somber, a few even angry.
Hera and Zeus were at the center of the throng, and the displeasure that coursed off of Mother was enough to make me flinch. Whatever had happened during the moments now lost to me, she squarely blamed me for them.
Zeus looked at me unflinchingly, not like a father or even a concerned friend. More like I was nothing to him. I could be window dressing, for all he cared. My stomach flipped with nerves, and I turned my eyes away from them. I wasn’t sure what was happening. But I knew, based on the marble statues of justice standing fifty feet high in the mighty chambers of truth, that I was on trial.
Memories of my conversation with Calyssa came back in a flash, and I flinched as I recalled her twisting my body into a shape that no man should ever be twisted into. My last memory had been that she’d killed me.
I jerked in relieved shock and only then realized that I was chained fast to Atlas’s stone boulder. My breathing quickened, and my heart rate kicked up. The chains holding me tight were dipped in dragon’s blood. I could smell the sizzle of my flesh in my nostrils, the odor offensive and revolting.
I gagged.
“Do not fight, Hephaestus.” Themis’s voice was solemn. “They will be here soon, and then you will be unshackled.”
I looked into her pale-white eyes and shook my head. “What is this? What has been done?”
I tried to kick out my legs and realized two things at once. All of me was chained down, and my mechanized legs were gone. Shame built in my bones and flared through my blood, and I roared, straining mightily against the cursed chains, ready to rip myself free of them. They all looked upon my twisted body, mocking me, no doubt. Judging me. And I hated it. Fury pounded through me like a hammer on an anvil, my body flooded with adrenaline, and I pulled and pulled.
The chains groaned under the pressure, and the molten heat from the dragon’s blood permeated deeper into my shredded flesh. But I didn’t care. I had to get these off of me.
“Hephaestus, stop!” Mother yelled at me, chastising me. Criticizing me. Mocking me. I heard the derision, even in those two words. She’d always despised the very sight of me, but if all was revealed in this trial, as I suspected it could be, Mother would be having a reckoning with Zeus very soon, and I had to admit that thought brought me nothing but pleasure.
Even so, I pulled harder, feeling the steel cut deep, tear through my flesh and sinew. I did not care if I snapped off my hands in the process. They’d regrow.
“Hephaestus, please stop.”
But this time it was not a mocking voice of derision that penetrated through my panic.
It was a soft voice. A gentle voice. One that I’d thought I’d never hear again.
Breathing like a bellows, I opened my eyes only to be snared by th
e prettiest ones I’d ever seen or known in the entirety of my existence.
“Like a rabid animal, that one,” I heard the mutterings begin to roll through the crowd. “Wildling. Freak.”
But Aphrodite didn’t flinch. She merely looked at me with her luminous blue eyes so full of beauty and life that I wanted to weep. Even now, even after all she’d done to me, I still loved her.
The terrible truth was as undeniable to me as a sunrise. Her hands were soft, gentle, as she brushed her fingers over my torn flesh and pushed her power into me, healing me, creating new flesh, sinew, and blood. Making me like new again.
“How could she ever let him touch her?” someone else whispered above us.
I saw her spine stiffen, saw her pretty jaw set, but she did not flinch away from me as she used to do whenever I’d reach for her before. Instead, she patiently and gently unlocked each and every lock that held the chains fast on me.
Only once she was done did she step back.
Her face as she stared upon me was unreadable. She was a mask of no emotion. But my gods, she was breathtaking.
She wore the winds upon her body today, revealing to all the graceful lines and swells of her now more voluptuous body. Her breasts were twice as big as they’d ever been, her thighs tight and toned. Her arms were burnished in gold. Her face was kissed by the divine. Blond hair like Apollo’s bright rays spilled down her back, gleaming like my heated metals.
And my suspicions were confirmed when I finally glanced down at her usually flat stomach. She was full there too. Round yet no less beautiful. With child that was not my own.
She and I had not lain together for many decades. And my heart broke all over again. I felt the rain fall in my eyes when I looked back at her.
She was utter perfection, and here I stood before her, a twisted and deformed half of a man. The entire pantheon must know I’d not been the one to fill her belly with life.
The Greek Gods of Romance Collection Page 45
