His nostrils flared as he stepped forward, invading her space completely. Melding their bodies so that they were now almost one.
She shivered but still did not reach for him.
“I love you.” His words were a throaty confession that even plucked at my heartstrings, because I knew my brother and knew that those words were never said without an infinite pool of truth behind them.
She tipped her head up, sadness reflected in her lovely blue gaze. “Yes, but would you die for me?”
His handsome face grew stoic, and he clenched his jaw tight. War did not lose. And death was the ultimate loss.
She shook her head. “Because he would. Whether he is here with me tonight or not, I know him. He would. And not just because I look as I do, but because he knows me. He really knows me.”
“Dite, I know you. I know everything about you.” Ares rolled his wrists, looking flustered and desperate. I’d never seen my brother this way, but then, this was Aphrodite we were talking about, and she tended to make lovestruck fools of us all.
She laughed, but the sound wasn’t one of humor. “Do you? What sound do I make when I’m really, really tickled?”
“What?” He frowned, curling his nose up. “What sort of nonsensical question is that? I’m telling you that I love you. That I’m in love with you.”
“No, it’s really not nonsense at all, Ares. What’s my favorite color? Book? Song? Where is my most favorite place in all the realms? Do you know any of that? At all?”
He said nothing, and she placed a gentle hand upon his arm, touching him for the first time, and I saw his flesh visibly tremble beneath her gentle touch.
“A part of me will always, always love you.” Her words quivered. “But a man who claims to love a woman should know all that and more. His favorite color is pewter. But not the dull kind, the gleaming polished kind that comes direct from his forge. His favorite book is The Iliad. His favorite place is in my arms. Photograph is our favorite song. And if he were here right now, he’d tell you all of mine. Because he knows me. He knows my soul. And I am done seeking comfort outside of him. Either I’m with him, or I’m not. But I can never be with you again, Ares.”
Then she leaned up and kissed him tenderly. Pressing her mouth to his for several moments as she cried one tear after another. It was shared history, it was great love, and it was also goodbye.
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him, looking loath to ever let her go. And though it was difficult seeing her in the arms of another, especially his, I could grudgingly admit that my brother was right. They did look right together. They made sense where the idea of her and I never really had.
He leaned in, as if he meant to kiss her again. But she placed her fingers over his mouth, her hand shaking a very little. Their parting was bittersweet for her. I felt her pain in it. But I also sensed her steely resolution.
A terrible sound dropped from my brother’s tongue as he held her tight. “Don’t do this, Aphrodite. Don’t leave me.”
He didn’t just love her; he’d been in love with her. And I knew this because my brother never begged for anything. He took what he wanted. But he could not take her, and that knowledge was clearly shattering to him.
She leaned back in the cage of his arms, tears still glistening down her cheeks. “It would not be fair to him. Me. Or even you, my mighty War. I love him too much. So much.”
At that final declaration, she placed her fingers upon her lips, kissing them softly before turning her palm and flexing her fingers, as though she’d placed that kiss upon his mouth.
Ares looked away, shuddering all over. And it was bizarre, but I actually felt bad for him.
I looked away from the scene and up toward where Zeus and Hera stood. He stood with them today, and he was looking back at me too. His face was set, his emotions his own. And yet there was stiffness to his shoulders. He was not as unaffected as he’d like the throng to believe. His eyes closed for a touch longer than was usual, and when he opened them again, they were full of thunderclouds. He said nothing to me before turning back toward the memory, and there was nothing more for me to do, so I looked back at it too. Her memory today wasn’t fun for me. Before, I’d enjoyed my walks through her mind, but today, I felt like a cad, and it made me sick.
I thought she meant to turn and run away, but she placed her forehead against his, breathing him in just as he did the same to her. He tucked her hair behind her ear, running his knuckles down her cheeks, his strokes tender. Loving. She’d streaked his flesh in gold, painting him in her beauty, and my heart panged to see it. Leaving him wasn’t easy for her.
“Goodbye, my Love,” he intoned, and her breath caught on a sob. He stepped back, dropping his arms, freeing the wild bird once more.
She nodded, and then she turned and ran. Ran fast. Moving so fast that even Hermes blinked at her passing. Tearing open a travel tunnel and sailing through it like a breeze.
And I knew just where she’d be headed, and it was foolish that I should feel a sudden thrill of giddiness, because it was not to me that she ran. She arrived at the forge, and when she did, the sky opened up with lightning and thunder, and rain fell in a deluge.
If I knew myself at all, I knew what he was thinking. Wondering. He’d given her free rein to sleep with his brother again, to pick right back up where they’d left off. And though I hated him for not fighting harder for her, his pain flexed through me like blades ripping out my organs.
The raging storm outside his forge were the tears he could never cry.
And then she was there, in the forge, standing behind him. A sodden, beautiful mess, face streaked with golden tears that had still not dried.
“No!” she yelled as she walked forward before reaching his side and slapping at his back. “No! No more! Turn around, you oaf, and look at me!”
His back tensed, his shoulders stiffened, and slowly, he turned, a look of disbelief upon his face as he slowly took in the sight of her.
She was trembling like an enraged kitten and held a finger up under his nose. “How fucking dare you!”
And I smirked to see the kitten brandish her claws. It excited me, as twisted as that might make me. I liked this Dite’s fire.
His nostrils flared. “What?”
She looked like a hot, beautiful mess. With gold paint and black eyeliner streaking down her face. Anger had twisted her face into a sharp, gorgeous mask. She placed her hands on his massive chest and shoved, not just with her muscle but also her power. She blasted him with it, and he had to windmill his arms to keep upright.
“Dite, what in the hell has gotten into you!” he growled, straightening his loin cloth, looking vexed and confused.
But she was shaking like a sapling in a powerful breeze. Her eyes blazing as blue as the hottest flame. “You cannot just shove me aside. I am yours. And godsdammit, Hephaestus, you bloody arrogant prick, you’re mine. You hear me? All mine! And I will not… not be pushed away.” She hiccupped, wrapping her arms around herself, all the fire now drained from her.
He looked taken aback by the force of her emotions. As if he’d not expected it from her. Several seconds stretched between them before he finally whispered in his sharp, raspy tone, “I’m… I’m so sorry, Aphrodite.”
And she began to sob. “Do you even still love me? Do you even still—”
He rushed her, dragging her tiny frame into his arms, and she sobbed so hard, the sounds wrecked even me.
I rubbed at my chest.
He held her tenderly. “I… I sometimes feel that someday,” he said haltingly, “you’ll wake up and discover what you’ve done. How could you want me, Aphrodite? How could you possibly want me? Even you have told me that there comes a time when you stop loving the thing you once thought you could never live without. And we’ve been together so long now, longer than you’ve been with anyone else, and I keep expecting to hear it any day now, and godsdammit, it’s breaking me in two. I tried to guard myself, to protect myself, but all I’m
doing is making us both miserable, and I’m so damn sorry. I’m so damn sorry. But how could you still want me, Aphrodite?” he asked again. “I do not understand how you could still love the man that I am.”
“I. Don’t. Know.” She ended on a wail. “But I do. Damn you to the bloody pits of Tartarus for it. I just do. I couldn’t do it tonight, Hephy. He wasn’t you. None of them are you. But I am tired of being pushed aside, and if you can’t… if you can’t give me more than a few times a month, then this cannot wo—”
With a growl, he tossed her to the ground, but not before snapping his fingers and creating a bed from nothing. She landed with a tiny squeak, and then he was crawling over her, murmuring to her. Opening up his heart. Completely. Fully.
And that was the moment I knew he must have let her in all the way. No more barriers, no more walls. And she loved him, as if she’d been made to love him and only him.
“Only you, Hephy. Only ever you,” she whispered with heat and fire and passion and burning truth.
I sucked in a sharp breath, realizing the profundity of her actions quite clearly. And everyone else obviously had too.
The Goddess of Love and Lust had willingly chosen to bind herself exclusively to him.
And only ever him for the rest of her days.
When the memory faded, no one moved. Except for her.
She did not look like a proud lioness today. Instead, she looked like a woman completely wrung out and depleted.
Pain had etched itself onto her face, and she stood, laying that little dove back onto her seat before turning and walking away. And I knew she was rejecting me after all.
Aphrodite was shutting herself off but not because she hated me. But rather because she still loved the me she’d left behind and desperately wished not to, something I understood all too well. It was a mode of self-preservation, one I’d also fallen prey to.
I stared at the pink bird and shook my head. I had to get her back. Even if Ares couldn’t stop what came tomorrow—and I knew deep in my heart what would come tomorrow—I had to fight for her.
She loved me.
Still.
And now it was my turn to step out in faith, just as she’d done so many times before. It was my turn to fight, and I would fight. Just as long as we could make it through tomorrow.
Dear primordial gods, please just let her make it through tomorrow.
Chapter 44
Ares
I waited for Themis outside the great hall, knowing she’d be the last to leave.
I leaned against the wall, my legs crossed at the ankles. Watching as the gods and goddesses walked off, talking excitedly between themselves.
The driving currency in Olympus was secrets, and they were being handed front-row tickets to the most titillating of them all.
In most ways, nearly all of us had learned to loathe and despise the Aphrodite of our time.
Even I had after what she’d done to me, to Hephaestus. I’d vowed to see her ruined. It was the least she’d deserved.
But now… nothing was the same.
And the juiciest secret was still yet to come. One that involved her and me and to an extent my own mother. And yet this was not the bitch I’d set out to destroy. I saw that now.
I did not love Aphrodite. Not as the other me appeared to have once done. But I could see why I would have fallen for her as I had. Aphrodite wasn’t just beautiful in those memories. She’d been so much more. She’d been an equal for me. And it appeared in this time or any other that still mattered to me.
She was the untapped potential I’d always known she could someday be, if she’d just let herself become even a little more vulnerable. She’d been weak in my time, but in hers, she’d been anything but.
How she’d left me then. With her heart gleaming in her eyes, her tears full of painful regret… I was a man of honor, and I knew that it would have mattered to the other me that I treat her with mercy. That woman was not the woman who should pay, and she would not pay for the deeds of another. Nor my brother. This mockery was at an end.
The laughter faded off as the gods left one by one. And then finally, I saw Themis come out, locking the doors behind her.
Dressed all in black as she always was. Skin so pale. Hair like ropes of onyx. She looked tired. And I was just petty enough to enjoy the sight of it.
I pushed off the wall.
She paused, hearing the echoes of my booted feet. “Who’s there?” She turned, blinded eyes staring around the room, scenting the air. Taking my fire and brimstone deep into her lungs. Her shoulders stiffened instantly the moment she realized it was me. “Ares,” she growled, “what do you want?”
I grinned but not because I found anything particularly humorous. “You know what I want, Justice. I’ve come to call your debt due.”
Her nostrils flared. “You know I can’t do th—”
I snorted. “And you know I don’t give a fuck about the rules. I kept to my end of our arrangement, and now you keep to yours, or I’ll expose your wicked deeds to the gaggle, just as you now do to them. Your choice.”
My words were without inflection, and yet she shivered. I never made idle threats.
“There is still one day left. I have to expose the truth. You know how this works.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t tell you not to. I’m only telling you to end it before my part in the story is revealed.”
She laughed, the sound dripping with scorn. “Oh, so that’s it. You didn’t actually care about them at all. You just want to make sure you kept your oh so private life private, that it? You’re scum. Why the hell did you even agree to this? You didn’t have to. You did this. You caused all of this! You wanted the world to know what you and her and even the mighty Hera had got off to, and now suddenly you’ve grown a conscience? How very trite.”
I snickered, enjoying this moment probably more than I should. “My reasons are mine alone.”
Her jaw clenched tight. “I can’t believe I ever—”
I lifted my palm, the urge to kill coursing through me as a rumble tore through my chest. It would be nothing to wrap my hand around her neck and squeeze, snuffing out the life as she now knew it forever. Some would say I had rage issues, and they would be right. It was why I kept myself so tightly in check, why I never let my emotions get the better of me, because bad things happened when they did.
Dropping my hand with a snarl, I snapped, “Think whatever the hells you want to think, Themis. I don’t give a damn. But you cut it off before the full scope of that truth is revealed, and you pass judgment. That is all you have to do.”
“Everyone will know I’ve failed in my duties. I will be branded for it, just as she was.”
Shoving my face into hers, I felt the slide of my canines as that hot, terrible temper coursed through me like a slithering snake. “What she did, she did for honor. You know fucking well that she’s not the same woman. We all do now. So you fucking end it, or I swear to fuck, I’ll end you. You want to wear the scarlet letter, Themis? Because, I have zero problem accommodating you.”
She gasped, but her face was pinched tight with anger. “Go to hell,” she snapped.
I laughed. The sound was terrible to hear, but I wasn’t playing. I never played games.
“Already there, Justice. Already there. And you do as I say, or I’ll make your life most unpleasant.” Then I pulled back, straightened, and dusted off my immaculate black armored suit. “Nice catching up. We should do it again.”
She stood there, shivering. But she had a core of steel in her. I’d give her that. “I hate you.”
“Good thing I don’t give a damn.”
Then I turned and walked off. She wouldn’t reveal the worst of Aphrodite’s sins, and that was the best I could do. Themis wouldn’t be happy. In fact, I was sure I’d set wheels into motion by my actions today. But too long had Hephaestus been forced to endure the worst of us, and just for once, he wouldn’t have to. It was my final gift to him for all that I’d done to my b
rother.
I tore open a travel tunnel and gave Themis the two-fingered salute, and then I was gone. I would not return tomorrow. My need for vengeance was done. I only wished my brother well.
Aphrodite
* * *
I looked up at Hades. He had his hands on my shoulders, staring intently down at me.
“Last day. You ready?”
I nodded.
“You’ve been very brave, little one.” He chucked me beneath the chin. “They don’t deserve you. You know that, right?”
I sniffed, shaking my head and looking aside. But he turned my face back to his.
“I mean it, Dite. You’re far too good for this world. But what you did the other day, I have to say, that was badass.”
I chuckled, but my hand shook just a little as I traced my fingers over the raised ridge of the dove. Eventually, the brand would fade, but I’d be marked for a time. The wound no longer wept, but it was painful to the touch. Meant as a reminder to never step out of line again.
But I didn’t regret it. Even if it had destroyed the smooth perfection of my body for a while. My children were quiet within me, but I hugged them tight. I was nearly done, and then I would never again have to see any of them.
Even my Hephy. All his gifts. The kindness in his eyes. I knew he was seeing me, finally seeing me again. But so much had changed. I was a soon-to-be mother to his brother’s children. My body had changed, transformed. I was heavy with pregnancy. That had to be painful for him. There was only so much a man could be forced to endure. And I would never ask him for any more. He’d put with more than his fair share in this world. Hephy and Dite were finally at an end.
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