“What do you mean?” I asked as he rubbed my arm. He glanced back up at me sheepishly.
“I fight with myself every day. I fight the jealousy inside. I’m jealous of what you and John shared while I was missing. I’m jealous of Everett and the time he spent with you, helping you through the end of the pregnancy. I’m even jealous of my own sister! I know it’s crazy, but I still have to stop myself from being harsh with John sometimes. I know nothing happened between you, but I can’t help myself. I feel like I was cheated out of the most important months of your pregnancy,” he declared, baring his deepest feelings to me.
“I had no idea that still bothered you,” I whispered as I touched his cheek.
“I’m just human, after all. I just wanted you to understand we all have weaknesses, and maybe talking to someone isn’t the end of the world.” He took my hand and pulled me up into his arms. “I love you so much. Until this gets easier for you, I’ll take you with me, if I have to. When I go to N’awlins to base next week, I’ll take you and the babies with me. We can spend the night at Claudia’s. She’s been dying for us to come and stay with them,” he whispered in my ear.
I pulled back and looked at him. “That would be great. Don’t worry; I’ll talk to Dr. Lane. We’ll get through this.”
* * *
The next morning, I sat watching the babies in their playpen, having moved them to the patio so we could watch Banton mow the grass. Glancing over my laptop, I watched the twins as they lay quietly on their backs, watching the leaves blowing in the trees overhead. They seemed very happy and content for the most part and already curious about their surroundings.
I returned my attention to my laptop and the writing at hand. Going through my notes, it occurred to me I hadn’t checked my facts against the inscriptions on the headstones in the cemetery. As I scanned my photos, the latest pictures popped up, ones I had taken every day since the babies had been born. I hurriedly flipped through them, and then finding the pictures Laurilee had sent to me from Texas, I stopped. “I’ve never shown these to Aunt Sue,” I murmured out loud, tagging some to print out.
“What is it?” Everett asked as he walked up behind me.
“Pictures Laurilee took of my parents’ grave in Texas. I knew Aunt Sue would want to see the headstone. It turned out really beautiful.”
“Let me see those, Bebe,” Everett asked as I turned my laptop around and handed it to him.
“What is this?” Everett asked, flipping my laptop around so I could see.
“Oh, the symbols. Those were on my parents’ headstone. Dad’s lawyer friend back home took care of all of those details. I’ve been meaning to call him and ask him what it meant. I know the horses were for my Daddy, and the gardenias were for Momma. Momma loved ‘fleur-dis-lis,’ but I don’t know what that other symbol wrapped around it means.
“Would you e-mail this picture to me? I’ve seen it somewhere before,” he murmured, studying the picture.
“Sure, no problem.”
He handed the laptop back and then sat down beside me as I finished the e-mail and hit “send.” When the babies began to fuss, Everett stood and picked Elly up to hand her to me, and then bent over to retrieve Matty.
“Little man, you sure can make a fuss,” he cooed at Matty.
“He has an appetite, that’s for sure. Thank goodness we’re bottle feeding now, and I don’t have to get up with them every time they wake.”
“I told you I would stay over and help, now that Mrs. Sue and Mrs. Elaine have gone home,” Everett offered as I shook my head.
“It’s all good, Ev. They’re just getting up once a night now that they’re eating more. Constance helps some, so Banton and I are both more rested,” I replied as we rose to carry them in the house. I retrieved two bottles from the fridge and warmed them, and then followed Everett into the living room.
“You are so much more relaxed…and content, I might add,” Everett threw over his shoulder as he turned and sat down in the rocker by the fireplace.
I handed him Matty’s bottle, and then sat down in the other rocker.
“And how do you know?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“The relaxed part is easy to see, and the content part…well, you and I, we have that connection,” his eyes twinkled as he teased me.
“Yes, that too. Banton came around.”
A couple moments of silence, and then I looked up at Everett’s big grin.
“No, you don’t get details. It’s time you stopped living vicariously through me. Now, let’s talk about your love life,” I began.
“You never give up, do you, Sister? Just who in the world do you think you would fix a one-hundred and fifty year old vampire boutique owner up with?”
“Are you saying I can start thinking about it?” I teased excitedly.
“Just come up with a short list, and be creative. I’d love to see who you would consider!” he teased back as we heard the front door slam.
“Look who I found wandering down the sidewalk!” Banton announced as he ushered John and Brie into the living room. “Hey, beautiful lady,” Banton greeted Brie with a kiss on her cheek.
“Are Laurilee and Dan gone already? I wanted to tell them goodbye,” John commented, looking around.
I placed Elly’s empty bottle down on the table, and then cuddled her on my shoulder as I rocked. “Oh, I’m sorry, John. They left this morning. They really want you, Brie, Ty and Constance to come with us when we go to the wedding.”
Brie’s eyes sparkled. “We’d love to, if we can manage it. Ev, are you going too?” she asked as she knelt down beside me to see Elly’s face.
“Of course. I’m the wedding planner! It seems I have a new career, with this one next month, and Constance and Ty’s still to plan.”
“Wow, this ought to be pure entertainment, with Diva-Doll and the Fruit-Loop on the same trip. Maybe we ought to rent one of those big motor homes to travel in together, and make it a trip we’ll never forget,” John suggested.
Then Banton spoke up. “Oh, and speaking of trips…Chandler, I talked to Claudia this morning. She and Will want us to stay with them while we have our meetings in N’awlins. The night we finish, probably Thursday, she and Will would like for all of you to come over for a dinner party.”
“Sounds great. I’ll tell Constance and Ty,” I said, watching Brie gaze at Elly. It occurred to me, she still hadn’t held the babies. “Brie, would you like to rock her?” I sensed Banton tense up across the room. His apprehension at having Brie so close to the babies was apparent to me, but as I glanced around the room, I could see no one else picked up on it.
Brie’s eyes sparkled, her face lighting up. She nodded silently. I rose and handed Elly to her. Sitting down slowly, she cradled Elly’s head in her hand as she settled down in the rocker. She began to talk to her, cooing at her expressions, and Elly’s face lit up with the most precious little grin.
“You have the touch, Aunt Brie. See, she adores you already,” I assured her as she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I met John’s gaze, full of gratitude at my offer of trust to Brie. It wasn’t a sacrifice or gamble on my part, for I could feel everything Brie was feeling, and her feelings of love and protection were overwhelming. I knew she would protect the twins as fiercely as Banton or I would, and she was in full control.
The babies went down for the night earlier than usual, so while Banton showered upstairs, I tried the blood again at the insistence of Everett. Instead of downing it all at once, I decided to try half at night, and then the other half in the morning. Mixing it with the baby formula, I then added more milk, and sipped it slowly while I watched out the back window. Lost in thought, I forgot about the rusty taste to the milk while three birds entertained me as they splashed about in the birdbath in the courtyard. Motion in the alleyway drew my attention, and as I drained the glass, I strained to see what moved beyond the gate to the yard. After a few moments, I decided there was nothing there. Old habits are hard to break, I thought.
We hadn’t seen anything of an Orco since Banton had been home, and I was reluctant to let my guard down.
I climbed the stairs hurriedly, hoping to brush my teeth and get my mind off the blood shake I’d just consumed before it came back up on me. Pushing the door open to our bedroom, I thought, Problem solved! Banton stood with his back to me, watching out the bedroom window with nothing on but his boxer-briefs. Seeing him in a half-dressed state was always good for distraction. I hurried over to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.
“Sweetheart, are you coming to bed,” Banton asked as he pushed the bathroom door open.
“In just a minute,” I answered as I finished putting lotion on my arms. I’d donned a new black satin gown that Claudia had given me after the babies were born.
“Wow. That’s too beautiful to just wear to sleep in,” Banton murmured, placing his hand on my waist and sliding it down around my hip. The satin hugged my body and fell to the floor, but with a slit up the side to just under the hip. I turned in his arms, and he took in the front, a halter-style solid lace bodice with no lining.
“Claudia gave it to me. She must have been afraid you might get bored after the babies were born,” I commented as he shook his head.
“I really wanted to talk to you, but you are kind of distracting me,” he teased, bending to kiss me. I wound my hands around his neck as he picked me up and carried me to the bed.
A small cry from the nursery interrupted the moment.
Banton chuckled, pulling away first. “I’ll go see which one is hungry.”
I rose and pulled the comforter back on the bed and climbed in just as Banton reappeared.
“False alarm. Matty is just crying out in his sleep. Now I think he dreams about being hungry,” He mumbled.
Snuggling down into his arms, I remembered his earlier comment. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Oh, nothing, really. I was just a little concerned when you handed Ellyson so readily to Brie tonight. Do you think she’s got control enough to be so close to the babies? I love her and want to trust her, Andie, but…”
“I promise you, she is in full control. You know I can feel what she feels, when we are close like that,” I began.
He shot me a skeptical glance, raising one eyebrow.
“I could feel it, Banton. It was overpowering, the love and the protective waves that seemed to radiate from her. She would protect the babies just like you or I would.”
“I know that, but this is all still so new to her. What if she’s tempted, if their scent…” he trailed off as I shook my head.
“That’s the thing. The babies are Aldon, and she can’t smell a human blood smell. The babies won’t be a temptation.”
He seemed to relax, and then pulled me closer to his side. “I forget about how you can feel what she feels. Hey, are you having that connection with anyone else?” he asked as he played with the lace on my gown.
I turned in his arms as I gazed up into his eyes. “Well, I’m picking up on your moods more and more, although I guess I’m too close to your emotions not to be biased. I got your moodiness and agitation all wrong before we brought the babies home the second time.” I raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a crooked grin.
“But you can really sense my moods?” Banton asked curiously. I turned in his arms and studied him as he stared into my eyes. Without warning, my heart began to quicken, and a deep ache began deep in my abdomen. I’d never wanted him so much before, not even the night he gave me the massage. Warmth spread over my entire body…down the inside of my legs. As I opened my mouth and drew my breath in, his lips came down on mine. He silently caressed my lips as he slid his hands down my arms and around my shoulders.
“Could you feel that?” he murmured,
I nodded, gazing up into is eyes. “Intensely. It kind of freaks me out, actually,” I added as I dropped my eyes.
He chuckled. “Just as long as you can’t feel anyone else do that. You don’t connect with anyone else, do you?”
“Sometimes. I can feel Constance’s moods, and I’m beginning to feel the babies. Just simple things, like fear or hunger. Oh, and I am definitely tuned in to Everett!” I exclaimed. He snapped his head down to look at me.
“And just how do his emotions run? I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. The bombshell you dropped on me when I got back --that Ev is straight,” he began.
“I know,” I sighed. “It’s still hard for me not to think of him as gay, we’ve been doing it for so long. He says he’s not anything, really. It’s been so long since he’s let himself feel anything.”
“Chandler Ann, he’s a guy. I’m not stupid…and when I think of all the times he slept in your room, watching over you as you slept…you can’t tell me he’s not attracted to you,” he argued.
“No, he’s not. He told me jokingly when I asked him about it, that he might have been drawn to me in the beginning, but he always felt like I was more of a sister, really. He said he sensed that was what I needed from him was a friend and a protector. Then he laughed and said he probably could have fallen for Constance, but she’s just too much woman for him.
Banton chuckled. “No truer statement was ever spoken.”
“Then he told me that he has fallen for someone but it was unrequited love, and he’d probably scare her to death, and that he would take it to the grave. He probably just told me that so I wouldn’t try to match make,” I said as Banton contemplated the ceiling. “Everett is just eccentric, from another century. He’s a gentleman.”
“Yes, he is,” Banton agreed, rolling over and covered me with his body. “But I’m not, not right now, anyway.”
Giggles erupted, but Banton immediately smothered them.
Chapter Sixteen
For the first time in our marriage, everything was normal. Well, as normal as it could be with blood-drinking twin babies and a mother who could feel other people’s emotions. But this normal and happy was something I could get used to.
It was for this reason that I was a bit annoyed when Banton informed me he and the SEALs had to go to N’awlins. I knew Banton would have to go back sometime, but I wasn’t ready yet. I was nowhere near ready.
I decided to catch up on laundry and to lay some things out in anticipation of our N’awlins trip. My cell rang, interrupting my thoughts.
“Hey…Everett, what’s up?” I greeted him as I folded a pair of Banton’s pants.
“Bebe, start getting packed now, because I have a week planned for us!” Everett gushed.
“Well, I am actually doing that now, but what’s with the excitement?” I asked, amused at his flamboyance as always. I finished the last of the jeans and then turned and sat down on the bed beside the stacks of laundry. I gave Ev my full attention.
“Grandmother Wellington and Mother insist I bring you over to see them while you are in N’awlins. They want to see the babies. I think they have sort of a baby-shower thing planned.”
“Oh, Everett, they shouldn’t have done that, but I will be happy to go and see them. In fact, I’m really looking forward to it,” I assured him.
“They can’t wait to see the babies, and they want Constance, Brie, Claudia and Mrs. Elaine to come as well. I think they’re sending out invitations or something.”
“Well, remember you are invited to Claudia and Will’s on Thursday night for a dinner party…it will be sort of a house-warming, I think.”
“I wouldn’t miss it. Do you need help with getting the babies packed up?” he asked.
“No, I think I’ve got it covered. Constance went shopping with us this morning, and their little bags are almost ready to go.”
“And are you drinking like you are supposed to? How is that going, Bebe?” he nagged as I smiled.
“Yes, Mother. I’m drinking it twice a day.”
“And the panic attacks…” he began.
“Everett, I’m fine. I talked to Dr. Lane when I went in for a blood checkup last week. He’s started me
on some anti-anxiety medicine.”
“Is that helping?” he continued with his barrage of questions.
“Well, I haven’t had the chance to try it out yet, because Banton never leaves me. I feel guilty. I know he needs to do things, but he’s been staying around here ever since he found out I’m still having the attacks. I’m going to urge him to go with John this afternoon. We’ll see how I do.”
“If you need me…”
“I know, Ev. I love you,” I stated.
“I love you too, Ma Petit. I’ll see you later.”
I sighed as I hung the phone up. Everett, like Banton, was another love in my life who I almost didn’t feel worthy of.
“Who was that on the phone?” Banton asked as I glanced up at him. He flopped down on the bed beside me and leaned in to kiss me.
“Mother Everett. He was making sure I’m taking my medicine, that I’m drinking the blood… that I’m preparing for our trip,” I sighed.
Banton chuckled. “I bet he’s planning our whole trip again.”
“Yep.”
“John and I need to go work out this afternoon, do you and the babies want to come?” he asked.
I shook my head “No, you go on. I’m going to spend a little quiet time with the twins, and then when I get them down for their nap, I’m going to write a little.”
“I don’t have to go, Andie. I can lift weights here,” he argued.
“I’m fine. Dr. Lane has me on medicine, and I have to do this. I promise, if it gets too bad, I’ll call Brie or Everett. Now, go!” I urged him.
“I don’t know. Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please Banton, I need to do this.”
He pulled me in for a kiss, sliding his fingers into my hair as he held me there. After a few moments, he pulled away and smiled at me.
“If you don’t get out of here, I might change my mind. I can give you a workout,” I cocked an eyebrow as he grinned at me. He rose, playfully slapped my behind, and then stopped at the door to give me a dark, inviting stare. It took every ounce of willpower I could muster not to call him back.
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