“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Taylor growled. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“Whose fault is that?” Abigail stood abruptly, bring her face-to-face with Taylor. “I do have eyes. Eyes that can see a totally hot boy who obviously likes you, but you’re so frickin’ closed off that you can’t even see it. That boy would do anything for you. Not that I know why. You’re frigid and have no clue how to have fun. I don’t know what your damage is, but don’t judge me for living a little.”
All the anger drained from Taylor’s posture and her shoulders sagged as the weight of her roommate’s words struck her. A cry escaped her lips. Taking a step back, she dropped onto the edge of her bed and hunched forward.
Abigail stood watching her in shock and complete ignorance of what was going on. “Taylor,” she said tentatively, running a hand through her blond curls. “I don’t know what’s happening here.”
Taylor wiped her face on her sleeve before reaching into her bag to withdraw her sketchbook. Flipping it open, she held it out to Abigail to show her the picture she’d been working on.
“I didn’t know you were into art.” She sat next to Taylor and looked up from the drawing. “You’re really good, but I still don’t understand.”
“That’s Danny.” Taylor got her breathing under control and her tears finally slowed. She started to talk and didn’t stop until Abigail knew everything.
Taylor had been doing really well for a few weeks now, and this time she wasn’t crying for Danny. She was crying because everything Abigail said was true. She’d let his death take every part of her that Danny used to love.
“Oh, honey.” Her southern accent was stronger than ever. “I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t know.”
“But I shouldn’t have been so harsh.” She wrapped an arm around Taylor’s shoulders. “What I still don’t get is where Josh fits into all of this.”
“We met at Danny’s memorial service. He’s been a good friend.”
“Friend?”
“Yes. No. I don’t freakin’ know.”
Abigail laughed. “That’s helpful.”
“I have all these feelings and I’m too completely terrified to do anything about them. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Something tells me he’ll wait until you are. Just don’t take too long. He’s a good one.”
“I know.”
“I wasn’t lying about his abs, you know.” Abigail bumped her shoulder against Taylor’s and laughed. “Better than Grant’s, not that Grant’s weren’t sexy as hell.” She stood up and winked. “I have a boyfriend to go placate.”
With that, she was gone. Taylor wiped all remnants of her tears from her face before picking up her phone, suddenly wanting to hear Josh’s voice.
He picked up on the third ring.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey yourself. What are you up to?”
“I have a game tonight.” His voice vibrated in her ear.
“I’m surprised you picked up the phone, then.”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
Taylor smiled against the phone.
“Kick some ass tonight,” she said.
“Will do. See you when I get back?”
“Can’t wait.” She hung up and flopped back on her bed, confusion swirling around in her head. Her grief warred with her excitement over seeing Josh soon, the excitement eventually winning. At least for tonight.
“It was a team effort tonight,” Mack said to the group of reporters surrounding them. Josh stayed quiet as usual while Mack gave all the stock lines that would appear in the Columbus papers in the morning. They’d just beat the New York Islanders on the road and the media scrum inside the locker room felt both familiar and foreign at the same time.
From the time they attended development camp, media etiquette was drilled into a professional athlete’s mind. In hockey, that meant toeing the line. It’s a sport that had been criticized for lacking true characters, but that was just the reporters complaining that very few guys gave them quotes that were anything other than the typical blandness. If you scored, you passed the credit to the guy who set you up. If you lost, it was “our play was unacceptable”. A goalie’s bad night turned into “we didn’t play well enough in front of him.” These lines felt rehearsed and emotionless, but that was what was expected of them.
Mack had been in trouble with management a few times for popping off at a reporter. In his first couple years in the league, he’d had trouble reigning in his emotions. Experience changed that, and now it was rare for him to deviate from the norm.
Josh watched his friend and barely recognized him as he tried to be the poster boy for the team. He was the superstar with an ego to match his status, but with recorders waving in his face, he was just another hockey player.
Mack threw his arm around Josh and grinned at the paunchy man on his right. “Josher had quite the night in the face-off circle.”
Josh rolled his eyes. He’d only taken face-offs because Mack couldn’t seem to win any. It was the only good part of his game tonight and everyone knew it. He’d felt off, kind of sick, but he couldn’t afford to miss any games right now and Coach would make him sit if he told him.
“Every guy on the team pitched in, and we’re one game closer to the playoffs.” Mack continued. “Thanks everyone.” He steered his friend away as the last of the reporters left the room, leaving the team to their showers.
“Tell me we’re celebrating tonight,” Zak said, stopping in front of them. Carter walked up with him and gave Josh a sympathetic smile. He could tell something was off.
Coach Peterson actually encouraged them to go out after games - as long as the next day was an off-day. He said it promoted team togetherness. Most of the guys took advantage of that. Josh on the other hand, usually went back to the hotel and crashed, but not tonight. They were in New York, and that meant one thing.
“I’m meeting up with some friends,” Josh said.
“Michaela?” Mack asked, a half grin appearing on his face. He’d had a thing for Michaela since he met her last year.
“And her fiancé.” Josh stared at his friend until the grin slipped.
“Oh, Jason’s cool. I’ll come with you.” To Zak and Carter, he said, “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”
“I’m so glad you’re inviting yourself.” The sarcasm in Josh’s voice didn’t seem to bother Mack.
“Do you want Michaela all to yourself?” he asked, trying to get a reaction from his friend. “I know I do.”
“Did you miss the part about Jason being there?” Josh shoved Mack towards the showers. “Just get ready. They’re waiting for us.”
“Oh, it’s us now?” Mack asked, arching one eyebrow. “As long as Michaela knows we’re not exclusive. I wouldn’t want her thinking I was unavailable.”
Josh finally smiled and Mack grinned in triumph before ducking into the shower.
Twenty minutes later, they exited the arena clad in the suits they always wore on game days and caught a cab.
Josh walked into the restaurant to find some of his favorite people in the world waiting for him. Michaela jumped from her seat as soon as she saw him and ran over.
“I missed you,” she said, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tight. He lifted her off her feet for a moment before setting her down and releasing her.
“You look amazing.” He grinned.
“Yes, you do,” Mack said, his eyes roaming over her suggestively.
“Hi, Grant,” she said indulgently. “You remember Jason?” She gestured to the table where the three remaining people were now standing.
“Yeah.” Mack sighed. “I do.”
Josh chuckled and made his way over to greet Jason as well as their friends Maggie and Elijah. New York sometimes felt like more of a home than Columbus because of those four people.
He introduced Mack to Maggie and Elijah as he sat next to Michaela. “Where’s your brother?”
he asked.
“Chris had to go to Connecticut this week for some meetings,” she answered, putting an arm around his shoulders. They’d all been at the game, and that’s the direction the conversation took.
“You’re too selfish, dude,” Jason was saying to Mack. “You need to pass more rather than always trying to take it in yourself.”
“Ok,” Mack started, “let’s leave the hockey advice to the guys who actually play it.”
Josh laughed because what Jason was saying was something the coaches had been trying to drill into Mack’s head since he came into the league. As they argued, Michaela leaned in to talk to Josh.
“How have you been?” she asked.
“You know, okay.”
“Josh Walker, why do I sense a lie?”
“Alright, fine,” he said, tensing to tell Michaela something he hadn’t talked to anyone about, but she wasn’t just anyone and he couldn’t get the feeling out of his mind. “Do you remember how the past two summers I’ve had some issues with dizziness?” She nodded, and he continued in a low voice. “It’s been happening in games.”
“Is that why you played like shit?” She wasn’t one to soften her words.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You need to tell your coach.”
“I can’t.” He glanced at Mack quickly to make sure he wasn’t listening. “There’s a guy on our AHL team who’s pushing for a spot, and I’m scared if he gets called up he’ll play himself into a permanent spot. I don’t want to be expendable to this team.”
“Josh,” she said seriously. “What if something’s wrong?”
“It’s probably nothing,” he said. “My health screening in training camp was fine. I’ve been training hard, so that might be it. I probably just need to scale back my workouts.”
She looked at him skeptically before taking his hand in hers and putting a light pressure on it. “You’ll tell me if it gets worse? And you’ll promise to get it checked out as soon as you can?”
“I will,” he promised, placating her for the moment.
Talk turned to Michaela and Jason’s upcoming wedding, and then Maggie and Elijah’s adopted daughter Kimberly. Coach Scott’s kid, Evie, was the only one who rivaled Kimberly’s cuteness in Josh’s mind, but he wasn't going to say that. As they chatted and ate, Josh was reminded of why he loved those people so much. The Blue Jackets were his team, and he wanted to stay with them, but if he ever had to be traded, the Rangers or Islanders would put him close to his family.
“Josher here has himself a girlfriend,” Mack said suddenly, an impish grin stretching his lips.
“Really?” Michaela asked hopefully.
“No,” Josh cut in before Mack could respond. “Not really.”
“Well, let’s see,” Mack said. “For one, he has no interest in getting laid.”
“By the kind of girls you meet,” Josh groaned.
“He spends all his free time with the same chick. He has absolutely no fun anymore.”
“Your kind of fun,” Josh cut in.
Mack was unfazed. “That all screams ‘girlfriend’ to me.”
“Wait a second,” Elijah piped up. “To me that just screams Josh.”
“Exactly,” Josh agreed.
Michaela studied him, making him squirm under her gaze. Tilting her head to the side, she asked, “Who is she?”
“There’s no one,” he answered, his voice faltering over the words.
“You’re obviously spending time with someone.” She glanced at Mack, who gave her a slight nod.
“Michaela.” Jason put a hand on her arm in warning. “Maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it.”
Josh should have been grateful to Jason, but he found himself ready to burst instead. “It’s just complicated,” he finally said.
“She’s Coach’s daughter,” Mack clarified.
Michaela couldn’t hide her surprise and Josh knew she was putting the pieces together. He’d told her about meeting the new coach’s daughter at the memorial service for her dead boyfriend.
“I told you,” Josh muttered. “Complicated.”
“That’s one word for it,” she said. “Kinda stupid is another.”
The rest of their group stared at them in confusion, and Josh couldn’t meet Michaela’s eyes. “She’s still not over it, is she?” Michaela continued talking as if the rest of them weren’t there wanting answers.
“Not even close,” Josh admitted, pressing his hand against his eyes. “But, Mic, I want to help her. I have to.”
“You’re too good, you know that?” She shook her head. “Just promise me you’ll be careful. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“I will,” he said, finally looking around at the rest of them.
“So,” Maggie broke the tension, reaching a colored drawing across the table. “Kimberly made me promise to give this to you. She was sad she couldn’t come.”
He looked down at the lion she’d colored and smiled. “Tell her I’ll see her in January at the wedding.”
“So, why am I not invited to this wedding?” Mack asked, turning to Michaela. “Afraid you’ll want to run off with me if I’m there?”
Michaela did a half-nod, half-head shake, “That’s exactly not what I was thinking.” She laughed.
“We figured you’d be in the All-Star game that weekend,” Jason said.
Mack puffed out his chest. “Well, yeah.” His head grew larger with each word. “Us All-Stars are pretty busy, you know, important.”
Everyone laughed and Josh slapped him on the back of the head. “You’re something, all right.”
Before they left the restaurant, Michaela pulled a wedding invitation out of her purse and held it out towards Mack. “I was working on them today. I know you can’t come, but if it makes you feel better…” She waved it in front of his face and he snatched it from her.
“Aw, Michaela, I didn’t know you cared how I felt.” He held it to his heart and grinned.
“Don’t make me regret that.”
“Never.” He laughed.
Chapter Ten
Thursday arrived quickly, and Taylor found herself standing outside the restaurant with a nervous Josh by her side.
“Thanks for coming with me,” he said, staring at the door. He walked mechanically towards it and reached for the handle.
“Of course,” she replied, her eyes shifting towards him. The stiff set of his shoulders and the tenseness in his jaw told her everything she needed to know. This was going to be hard on him.
He stilled before swinging the door open and she put her hand on his arm, feeling him relax slightly under her touch. They walked into an elegant space. It was a white-tablecloth-and-champagne kind of place. The large restaurant was cordoned off into smaller rooms to provide a semblance of privacy and quiet.
A man in all black with a silver bow tie led them down the hall to their waiting party. Modern black-and-white paintings hung on the walls, interspersed with tiny mirrors. Every few feet Taylor got a glimpse of herself and was surprised each time at the woman staring back at her. It wasn’t the grieving, depressed little girl who’d spent the last year hiding away.
No, this was a woman who looked older than her nineteen years. The sadness only added a look of experience. Wearing a deep blue dress she’d borrowed from Abigail, she felt almost beautiful. Its square neckline was mature, and provided enough modesty that allowed the sides to hug her curves, the hemline stopping mid-thigh. She’d refused to wear heels, but let Abigail apply her makeup and curl her short hair. The black framed glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose were the only part of her outfit that screamed it was her.
When Josh picked her up, she’d been disappointed when he didn’t seem to notice her new look for the night. For a reason unknown to her, she wanted to impress his father. And she wanted Josh to say something, anything that gave her the impression he liked what he saw. But his distractions had won out.
She wasn’t delusional. Josh wa
s an attractive professional hockey player and there was the fact that he was actually a nice guy. She knew the kinds of girls he could have.
She shook her head to rid it of those thoughts, not knowing where they’d come from. It was confusing. They’d agreed to be friends, and he was only helping her move on.
They reached a room that held four tables, only one of which was occupied. The two men stood immediately upon seeing them. Josh stepped into the waiting arms of the older man and gave him a long hug. The man smiled at Taylor over Josh’s shoulder and released him.
“Son.” He draped an arm over Josh’s shoulders as he regarded her. “Are you going to introduce me to this lovely woman?” He smiled widely and winked.
Taylor suddenly felt a little sick. Was he flirting with her? He was attractive, sure, in an older kind of way, with twinkling eyes and an open, inviting smile. But, he was Josh’s father.
A scowl flashed across Josh’s face for just a second before it disappeared. He surprised her by stepping towards her and pulling her to his side, his hand on her waist possessively.
“Dad, this is Taylor.”
His dad looked like he was going to give her a hug, but then stuck his hand out instead. Josh’s grip on her tightened as she took it.
“She’s my girlfriend.”
Taylor almost choked on her own tongue.
“It’s nice to meet you, Taylor.” He released her hand.
She glanced at Josh in question, but he was staring at the younger man behind his father.
“You too, Dr. Walker,” she finally said, following Josh’s gaze to the man who looked eerily similar to him.
“Ethan,” Dr. Walker said. “Isn’t it wonderful that your brother has found such a beautiful woman?”
Ethan didn’t respond as he ran a shaky hand through his short, blond hair. That was one of the differences between the brothers. Josh had much longer hair. He was also taller than his brother by a few inches at least and his broad, well-defined shoulders dwarfed Ethan’s smaller frame. Ethan had a narrow, chiseled jaw where Josh’s still held some roundness. But the eyes… those were the same.
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