“Go see your wife. And it’s your anniversary, which you obviously don’t remember.”
“I . . . I guess it slipped up on me. I didn’t get her anything.”
Ace reached down beneath the seat and handed him a package. “Here. Give her this. I bought it for Ellie. You’re a sorry specimen, Stuart Winslow.”
Stuart turned to face Ace, and the man’s light blue eyes seemed to bore deep down into the cavern of his own depravity. He swallowed hard, then nodded and without another word got out. He swayed for a moment, clutching the package, and looked down at his soiled, wrinkled clothes. He did not turn, but he heard Devainy’s wagon drive away. Everything in him wanted to turn and run, but there was no running from his shame.
Moving slowly and carefully, Stuart mounted the steps and paused for one moment with his hand on the doorknob. Why did I do it? he thought. Ace should have shot me. I’d have deserved it. Everything within him hated to have to face not only Leah but also Annie, whom he had seen glowering from the window. He had gone through this many times before; promising himself to behave, to stay away from Cora and other women, to stop drinking, to be a better husband to Leah. He thought of the child to come, and guilt and shame washed over him. Taking a deep breath, he gritted his teeth and opened the door. Annie stood in the hallway, her eyes fixed on him, her mouth turned down in a scowl. Avoiding her eyes, he moved down the hall and glanced to the left. He went to the bedroom. Closing the door, he turned to face Leah, who was in bed sitting up with a pillow bracing her. She was reading by the fading light that came through the window, and she closed the Bible and put it down by her side.
“Hello, Stuart,” she said quietly.
Stuart swallowed hard. His throat seemed as dry as dust, and the silence in the room was thick, almost palpable. From far away a rooster crowed, and then he heard the monotonous ticking of the clock. His tongue was thick, and his head was splitting open, but he moved over and pulled the rocking chair up and sat down beside his wife. “Sorry to be late, Leah,” he managed to get out as he put the package on the bed.
“What is it?” she asked.
Stuart realized with some confusion that he had no idea what was in the package. “Just a little gift,” he said. “Nothing much.”
Leah opened the package. She recognized the haggard look on Stuart’s face. He had been drinking again, and he smelled of stale perfume, and she knew he had been with some woman. Her fingers felt numb, and there was no joy in her as she removed the wrapping from the package. She saw a brooch with gold trim and a green stone inside and knew instantly that it was not a gift that he had picked out for her.
“Thank you, Stuart,” she said evenly.
Suddenly Stuart saw the tawdriness that he had allowed to creep into his life, and he could not keep silent. “I was drunk and Ace came to get me. He made me come home. That brooch was one he bought for Ellie.”
Leah looked into Stuart’s face and could still see the handsomeness that had stirred her a year ago, but now she saw a certain weakness that had left its mark. Perhaps it had always been there, but she had never recognized it until now. God had given him great gifts, a strong body, handsome features, but something was missing from him. Perhaps it was what was missing from all men, she thought suddenly. She looked into his tired face and saw his haunted eyes and quietly reached out and took his hand.
The touch of Leah’s hand on his seemed to hit Stuart Winslow like a blow. He was as guilty as a man could possibly be, and never in his life had he felt so low and worthless. He looked up with pure misery in his dark eyes and said, “I’m sorry, Leah.”
Leah tried to control the emotions that churned inside, but she did not want to confront him on their anniversary, so she said, “It’s all right, Stuart.”
“No, it’s not.” Stuart lowered his head and stared at the wedding band on her hand and then at the one on his own finger. “I feel like a ticket that someone’s bought and then lost on,” he said bitterly. “I’m a loser. You should never have married me, Leah.”
“It’ll be different, Stuart. When the baby comes, it’ll be different.”
Suddenly Stuart leaned forward, and she took his head and held it against her breast. “Things are going to change,” she whispered, “when the baby comes.” She tried to believe her own words as she felt the shaking of his shoulders, and a ray of hope sprang up. She had never seen him broken like this before, and she cried out, “Oh, Lord, make him different!”
CHAPTER FOUR
Cracks in a Marriage
“There’s a good boy!”
Leah laughed aloud as Raimey splashed vigorously, holding his fat fists clutched tightly together. He sent the soapy water in the large dishpan everywhere, and Leah turned her face to avoid getting soap in her eyes. “You are a water bug! That’s what you are.”
Raimey, at the age of five months, was fat and pink and lively. His dark blue eyes, so much like those of Stuart, looked up at her. He clutched his right fist even more tightly and struck himself in the face with it. “Yah!” he said in shocked surprise.
“That’s what you get when you hit yourself in the face, Raimey.”
Giving her baby a bath was one of the pleasures of motherhood for Leah. She had had a difficult pregnancy and an even more difficult delivery, but since the arrival of her new son, Leah had bloomed. Motherhood agreed with her, for even in the five-month period she had regained her figure almost completely and was healthier than she had ever been in her life, or so it seemed to her. Now as she soaked the baby’s silky skin while he splashed and chortled and grinned toothlessly, a thought came to Leah.
I’m like a beggar who only has a few things and is afraid to put them down for fear someone will steal them. The thought startled her, and her smile disappeared as her mind continued to work.
It was a fanciful thought and a sobering one for Leah Winslow. Her treasures, she knew full well, were not jewelry or clothes or a house, but a husband, a child, and a family. And now as she began to work up a lather on Raimey’s hair, already as dark as his father’s, she thought of those aspects of her marriage that she could cherish. Since Stuart’s last escapade on their first anniversary, he had made an effort to change his ways, and she was grateful for that. But it seemed as though five months were as long as he could manage to stay sober. Even now he was beginning to be drawn away more and more to his old ways. And so Leah reminisced over the good memories and shoved the bad ones off into a dark corner of her mind. Some memories pleased her—the times Stuart was kind and thoughtful and loving. Indeed, there had been many moments like that which had made her happy and joyful after she had recovered from Raimey’s birth. It had been a time of joy for Leah such as she had never dreamed. Her cheeks had glowed, her eyes had sparkled, and everyone in the house and all of Stuart’s family and her friends at church had remarked at how wonderful it was that Stuart Winslow had at last grown up.
But Leah had known that deep down something was missing in Stuart. True enough he loved her and had been more thoughtful, but for the last two months she had sensed a drawing away, and she dreaded the thought that he was falling back into his old life-style.
Annie interrupted her thoughts. “You let me take care of that young’un. You go get yourself ready.”
“All right, Annie. Be sure you powder him good.”
“You teach your grandmaw to suck eggs?” Annie said with sprightly disdain. “I reckon I knows how to take care of a young’un, since I got four of my own.”
“I know. I was just teasing, Annie.” Leah hugged Annie and then left the room, saying, “Put on his blue suit. He looks so good in that.”
Going into the bathroom, she quickly bathed her face and fixed her hair. Then going to her bedroom, she took off the worn brown dress that was so comfortable and slipped into the new one she had worn only twice. It was an expensive dress, a gift from her mother-in-law, made of fine dotted voile. It had a deep collar and cuffs of sheer organdy, and the colors were a light delicate green wit
h gold checks within. She was admiring herself in the mirror when the door opened and Stuart came in.
He grunted, “I got Merle hitchin’ up the team.” He stopped suddenly and said, “I don’t feel up to going to eat with the folks. You take Raimey and go on.”
Leah’s heart sank and she turned to him, studying his face. His eyes were bloodshot, for he hadn’t returned until three in the morning after a late-night engagement with a band in Fort Smith.
“Stuart, you’ve got to go,” she said. “Everyone’s expecting you.”
Stuart rubbed his stubby cheeks and shook his head, saying with irritation, “I wouldn’t be good company.”
“You’ll feel better. You go shave, and I’ll fix you a snack to eat.”
Stuart’s jaw set stubbornly. “I don’t feel like having Dad preach at me. That’s all I ever hear out of him. ‘Why don’t you straighten up?’ What does he want out of me, anyway?”
“Things have been going better lately. He’s proud of the way you’ve taken hold here at the farm.”
“He’s always at me to come into the business. I can’t stand there selling beans and horse collars to a bunch of farmers all day long every day. That may be all right for Jeff, but I’m not cut out for it.”
It was an old argument, for Richard Winslow could not give up his dream of having both of his sons in the business with him. Already Jeff had taken over as manager of the store in Fort Smith, which was growing rapidly. He boarded there now but came home on the weekends and as often as he could. This left Richard to run the store in Lewisville, and he was struggling to open another one over at Twin Oaks. He was having trouble finding someone to operate it, and he had had several vociferous arguments with Stuart about it.
“Have you thought about just taking over the new store for a while? Just until you can get things under way.”
“I can’t do it. It’s just not for me.”
Stuart stared defiantly at Leah and listened as she pleaded with him. Finally he growled, “All right! I’ll go. But it won’t be any pleasure for me or anybody else.”
“Well, at least you’ll get to meet Jeff’s fiancée. She’s a fine young woman from what I hear.”
Stuart did not answer but left without another word to shave and get ready.
By the time they were both dressed and ready to leave, Annie had dressed Raimey in the new blue suit that his grandfather had picked out for him from the store stock. “Oh, he looks wonderful, doesn’t he, Stuart!”
“Good-lookin’ boy,” Stuart said, smiling as he picked up Raimey.
And at that moment Leah knew a quick surge of pride. “He looks just like you, Stuart. He’s going to be big like you, too. He’s got big bones.”
Annie was watching all this, getting Raimey’s gear together, and her thought was, I hope he’s a better man than his daddy is. Good looks ain’t nothin’ in this world without a good heart to go with ’em. When the family had gone off in the Oldsmobile Stuart had recently bought, her heart was heavy, and she turned back into the house, saying aloud, “He ain’t no fit man for Miss Leah. No, indeed he ain’t. The Lord’s gonna have to deal with him!”
****
The dinner was a success, except for Stuart’s withdrawn attitude. Hillary Devoe, Jeff’s fiancée, was an attractive, tall young woman of twenty-two with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. She hit it off at once with the family, who were all intensely proud of Jeff’s choice.
The meal was wonderful, as it always was when Diane Winslow set her mind to it, and she hovered longer over Stuart than over any of the others, urging him to eat more.
“Mom, you’ll have me fat as a pig.”
“You’ve lost weight, Stuart,” Diane said. She reached out and touched the hollow spot in his chin. “You’ve been doing too much.”
Richard glanced up quickly and opened his mouth to protest, but one look at his wife silenced him. He shook his head and went on eating.
“How’s the new store coming over in Twin Oaks, Dad?” Jeff asked. He was happy with his new fiancée, satisfied in his work, and his life was going well, and he showed it.
“Not good. I had to let Blevins go.”
“What was wrong with him?”
“He was stealing and he was lazy. Half the time he would open the store an hour late.”
It was Hillary who made the mistake of saying, “Twin Oaks isn’t too far for you, is it, Stuart? It looks like a perfect opportunity for you to develop it.”
Stuart turned his eyes on the young woman and said in a hard tone, “Everybody else tries to run my life in this family, Miss Devoe. I don’t think they need any extra help.”
An embarrassed silence ran around the table, broken only by the faint cry of the baby in the next room. “I’ll see to Raimey,” Diane said. She got up and left the room and was joined by Leah. Picking up Raimey, Diane turned her eyes toward her daughter-in-law. “I wish Hillary hadn’t said that,” she murmured.
“So do I.”
Diane cuddled the baby and planted a kiss on his smooth cheek. “He’ll find his way, Leah,” she said gently. “It’s just taking him more time than any of us would like.”
“I know. I pray for him every day, and I know you do, too.”
Back at the table Jeff had started talking quickly to cover the embarrassed silence, but the fellowship had been destroyed. Stuart said nothing for the rest of the evening, and his father kept a tight rein on his own remarks. It was after they went to bed that Diane said tentatively, “I’m sorry it turned out so badly, Richard.”
“Why can’t he see what everyone else sees, Diane?”
“I don’t know. He’s different from Jeff.”
“He certainly is!”
Diane reached over and took Richard’s hand. “You must be patient, dear,” she said.
“I think I’ve been patient for a long time, but he’s got to wake up. He’s not a child now. He’s got a wife and a baby. It’s time for him to take control of his life and be responsible.”
Diane did not have an answer for her husband’s valid concerns. She lay silently and, as always, went to sleep praying for her son who had given them all such grief.
****
Without question, the summer wedding of Carter Simms to Cora Langley was the most extravagant event to ever take place in Lewisville. Reverend Charles Fields performed the service, and the church was packed. Everyone had followed the stormy courtship of the pair, and several bets had been made as to the outcome of it.
Stuart Winslow was one of the few unhappy spectators. He had sat beside Leah and after the ceremony had attended the reception in a large hall nearby. A tense moment came when Leah approached Cora to wish her well. Her cheeks were slightly pale, for she well knew what she had never voiced to Stuart. She said quietly, “I hope you have a happy marriage, Cora.” Then she turned quickly to Carter. She was almost as tall as he was, and she noted the strain around the edges of his eyes. “Congratulations, Mr. Simms,” she said. “I hope you have a happy marriage.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Winslow.” His eyes did not remain on her but darted quickly to his bride.
His expression changed as he saw Winslow lean forward and kiss Cora on the cheek. He did not speak, but he heard Stuart say, “Congratulations, Cora.”
Neither man offered to shake hands, and Winslow nodded and said coolly, “I wish you a happy marriage.”
“Thank you.”
The tension between Carter and Stuart was evident, and everyone watching knew that the two men had clashed before. Lewisville loved its drama, and here was Carter Simms marrying Cora Langley—a woman who had never been denied by any man she chose to put her eyes on. The other actor in the drama was Stuart Winslow, who had pursued Cora avidly—many said he had captured her heart—but the moment passed quickly.
Ace Devainy later encountered Simms, who had deliberately come over to stand beside him. “Congratulations, Carter,” he said. “Hope you’ll have a long and happy marriage.”
Simms nodd
ed briefly and murmured a word of thanks. His eyes went across the crowd to Cora, and then he said, “Your friend Winslow’s a dashing fellow.”
Ace hesitated, not knowing how to answer. “I guess so,” he said finally. “He’s had his troubles, but he’s settling down now.”
Simms turned to him, and there was a cold light in his hazel eyes. “You can pass the word along that he won’t be welcome at my home. Cora won’t be receiving any of her old friends, at least not him.”
The threat was not even veiled. As plainly as if Carter had shouted the warning, Ace understood that Simms would not tolerate any advances at all on the part of Stuart Winslow. He nodded and murmured, his voice soft as the summer breeze, “I’ll pass the word along, Carter.”
“Make it clear.”
Carter left Devainy and went over to stand by Cora. He possessively put a hand on her arm, and she turned and smiled up at him, then reached up and patted his cheek. Devainy watched all this and then glanced at Stuart. He saw that his friend’s eyes were on Cora, and a sense of foreboding came over him. He knew he would never pass the warning along, for Stuart was just the sort of fellow who would take it as a challenge.
I hope he shows a bit of good sense for once, Ace thought. Then he turned to Ellie, who was coming to him to take his arm.
“Wasn’t it a wonderful wedding?” she said.
“Yes. Makes a fellow want to get married himself.”
Ellie blinked with surprise. “That’s strange coming from you.”
For some time Ace Devainy had felt the futility of his life. Now he said abruptly, “What about me, Ellie? Will you have me?”
Tears came into Ellie Mason’s eyes. She dropped her head, and her shoulders began to shake.
“Here, Ellie. Don’t carry on so,” Ace said quickly. He put his arm around her, and suddenly she embraced him.
The Glorious Prodigal Page 6
