by Beck, J. L.
“Make me forget, Rem, replace every memory...take me, make me yours…”
And fuck if I hadn’t always wanted to hear her say those words, just not like this, not under these circumstances.
With a soothing hand, I rub up and down her back. “You don’t need this right now… I want you, Jules, so badly it’s killing me, but I don’t want you to regret it. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and wonder if you made the right choice.”
And I don’t. I don’t want our first time together to be something she regrets for the rest of her life.
“I love you, Rem. I’ve loved you since we were kids, and nothing will ever change that. You should know that…but I can’t keep living like this. All I feel is him…his hands on me and I want it to be you. Make me forget, give me new memories. Please?” More tears slip from her eyes, and she’s breaking my fucking heart. She knows I can’t deny her, not when the need is pulsing inside me.
“Jules,” I groan, knowing damn well I can make her forget that shitty memory.
“Please, I’m begging you…”
And just like that, I snap. I can’t deny her something I want just as badly as she does. Slamming my mouth against hers, I claim her with unyielding need. I’ll ingrain this moment into her mind, wash away the memories that bastard left behind. I’ll hold her, kiss her, sear our souls together so she never forgets this moment.
Jules’ moan of pleasure fills my mouth and I swallow it, my tongue gaining entry past her lips. I stroke her tongue with my own, until I feel her clawing at my shirt, a primal need to undress me consuming her.
Pulling away, I let her pull my shirt off. I do the same, pulling her shirt off and tossing it to the floor. My gaze roams over her, and I gulp, my body shaking, my cock hardening to a damn near painful state. She looks so innocent, her chest heaving, her breasts swelling out the top of her soft pink bra. With a gentleness I wasn’t aware I even had, I press her back against the mattress, reaching for the button on her jeans.
My eyes lift to hers, and I need to know she still wants this, that she hasn’t changed her mind.
“If you want me to stop…you need to say so now. I want you, so fucking bad, but I can wait, Jules. I’ve waited my whole fucking life, what’s another month, or year?”
She shakes her head, her white teeth sinking into her pink bottom lip seductively, and I wonder if she even knows she’s doing it. God, she’s so beautiful, so perfect, so fucking mine. I’ll destroy Cole for touching her, and any other son of a bitch that thinks he can have her.
“No. I want this. I want you. I’m yours, and nothing will ever change that, no amount of time will change that. Take me.”
My heart soars out of my chest, and I flick the button on her jeans and move my hands to her hips, grabbing the denim. I peel the skin tight fabric down her legs, admiring her creamy white flesh. So delicate, soft, and pure…fuck, she’s everything I don’t deserve, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to give her up. I toss the jeans to the floor, reveling in her tiny little nails that sink into the tender flesh of my arm.
“I’m going to taste you…taste this pretty little pussy, do you want that?” I murmur, brushing my lips against her smooth tummy. My eyes lift to hers, seeking approval. Her long lashes fan against her cheeks, cheeks that are now a rosy pink, like nothing I’ve seen before.
“Yes…” she answers breathlessly, and I smile against her skin, loving that she reacts to me the way she does. I pepper her skin with kisses, making my way down her body and knead one of her perky tits through the lace of her bra, finding her nipple already hardened for me.
“You’re so fucking perfect. It’s like your body was made for me…mine to fuck, to eat, to worship,” I mumble, pulling my hand away from her tit so I can rid her of her matching pink panties. I slide them down her legs and fling them over my shoulder. Then with a gentle hand, I push her legs apart, my eyes moving straight to her heat.
“Fuck me,” I groan, licking my lips. Her folds are glistening, hiding her tiny little clit inside. The selfish part of me is thankful as hell that I’ll be the one and only man to feast on her, to feel her tightness squeeze around my cock. While the other part of me feels like I don’t deserve this gift that she’s giving me.
“Please?” She grins down at me, her soft voice dripping with need. With a chuckle, I slide both my hands under her ass cheeks, and lift her, my lips pressing over her slit. She wiggles, lifting her hips to bring my lips right where she wants them.
“Patience, love, we’ve got all night and yes, I do plan on devouring you, then fucking you, and then devouring you all over again.”
“Remmy.” She lets out a frustrated sigh as I skim over her slit, one last time, before slipping the tip of my tongue between her folds.
As soon as my tongue flicks against her diamond hard clit, she gasps, her hands flying into my hair. She tugs at the soft strands urging me to give her more and as badly as I want her, to taste her release on my tongue, I give in.
I circle her clit, flicking against the nub, alternating between flicks and sucking on it, till I feel her thighs quake. She’s so wet, so fucking warm. My hands move on their own, one to her hip to hold her in place, while I take the other and swirl a finger through her arousal. I coat the thick digit in her sweet syrup, before moving it to her entrance.
I’m panting, burning with need when I slip inside, watching as her face morphs into pure angelic fucking pleasure. I’ve never seen something so intoxicating, so perfect in my life.
“God… oh….” she pants and I pump that finger in and out of her while keeping pressure against her clit. Her hips buck, and I feel her pussy tightening, her core squeezing my finger so tight, my chest heaves, my eyes close for a brief second. Fuck, she’s so tight, I worry for a moment that I might not fit. I don’t want to fucking hurt her, but there is no way in hell I’m not claiming that part of her. Her virginity is mine, all fucking mine.
“Come, Jules, come on my fucking hand,” I order, my voice rumbling against her core as I flick my tongue against the hard bud while continuing to finger fuck her. Two more soft thrusts inside her and she’s coming, her body shaking, tremors of pleasure washing over her.
Her forehead is sweaty and her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath. A beautiful flush creeps up her neck and onto her cheeks and I continue to pump in and out of her, extending her pleasure until her body stops trembling and she sinks back down into the mattress.
“That was…” she gasps.
“Amazing? Earth shattering?” I grin, and move off the bed, undoing my jeans and shoving them and my boxers down in one swoop. My cock juts out, standing proud and when I lift my gaze to Jules, I see both fear and excitement reflecting back at me.
“What's with the look? It's not like you haven't seen it before.” She visibly gulps, her eyes still on my cock.
“I know, but it wasn't going inside me last time.” She's got me there, but I've prepared her body, she'll be okay, plus I’m not going to fuck her. I’m going to make love to her, and there’s a difference.
“It’s okay, Jules,” I whisper, leaning in, pressing a soft kiss against her lips to ease some of the fear out of her. Her tiny nails dig into my biceps as I situate myself above her, holding most of my weight on my forearms. This close, I can feel how nervous she is, her body trembles as I hitch up one of her legs, spreading her wider. My cock grazes her heat, and a shiver of unbridled pleasure ripples through me.
“I want to take you bareback.” My hot breath fans against her face, and with one hand, I tip her chin upward to look at me.
“Without a condom?” she questions, her adorable nose wrinkling.
“Yes. I’ve never fucked anyone without a condom, and I want you to be my first. I can’t give you my virginity, but I can give you this.”
She licks her lips and then nods her head, and I swear to god I don’t fucking deserve her.
“I’m not on birth control,” she admits as I pull back.
“I�
��ll pull out and after this we’ll go and get you on birth control,” I tell her, feeling the need to be inside her consume me. “If that’s what you want.”
The thought of getting her pregnant doesn’t change a fucking thing. In my mind, I always knew if I ever had kids, it would be with her. It would just tie her to me in another way, but as much as I want to keep her tied to me in every way possible, I don’t want to do that to her right now. We’ll have children when she is ready. Taking my cock into my hand, I stroke it a few times, staring down at her before I guide the velvety head to her drenched entrance.
She grabs onto me like I might run away, and I press into her heat, my eyes rolling to the back of my fucking head as I stretch her tight little hole.
“Remmy,” Jules whines and I grit my teeth, forcing myself to focus on her, and not just thrust deep inside her channel with all my fucking might. I open my eyes and look down at her. Pain contours her features, and I lift a hand, cupping her by the cheek, my touch gentle.
“Just breathe, baby, it’ll only hurt this time,” I growl, barely breathing myself. Fuck me, all I’ve got is the tip in and I’m losing my mind. What happens when I’m eight inches deep? How will I stop myself from fucking her with her tightness squeezing the life out of me? My body shakes, and a bead of sweat forms against my brow as I push in another inch.
Jules gasps, her grip tightening. “You’re so big…I don’t know if it’s going to fit.”
I grin down at her, my thumb gently caressing her cheek.
“Oh, it’s going to fit. Your pretty pussy was made for me. Every inch of you was made for me.” Refusing to prolong the pain, I swoop down and press a heated kiss to her already swollen lips, as I thrust forward at the same time, pushing through her barrier and deep into her virgin channel.
Tears spring from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks and I pull away, though I keep my lips just a breath away from hers. She feels like heaven, so soft, warm, and wet. She fits around me like a glove, my cock twitches, my hips and muscles burning as I remain deathly still deep inside her.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper over and over again, wiping her tears away while peppering kisses to her face. After a short time, I start to move again, watching her intently. Her grip on me is still hard, but I love it. I love having her hold on to me like she’s afraid I might disappear.
As I move more and more the discomfort in her eyes seems to diminish and soon I find myself moving in and out of her at a torturously slow pace. I don’t go as hard as I normally would, but with Jules, I don’t need to. My body’s already burning up, pleasure searing through my bones with each shallow thrust. My muscles burn, my body begging for me to thrust deeper, to go harder, to have her like I’ve always wanted.
“More, I want more,” she urges, lifting one of her legs, pressing her heel into my ass to pull me closer.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I hiss out, even though I really, really want to fucking do as she’s asking.
“You aren’t,” she pants, her big blues pleading, and I feel her pussy flutter around my cock. Fuck, she’s going to come. I didn’t know if it was possible the first time. I thought there would only be pain, but like always, Jules is perfect in every way.
“You want to come all over my cock, baby?” I purr in her ear, going a little harder, relishing in the moan of pleasure that escapes her lips.
“Ohhhh…” she mewls.
“Milk my cock…with your pretty pussy,” I growl into her flesh, pressing kisses to her throat before hanging my head in the crook of her neck, inhaling our mixed scents. I could lose myself completely in her, in every way possible and that terrifies me, it scares the shit out of me.
“Remmy…” She digs her nails into my shoulders, and I thrust even harder, hitting the back of her channel. “Sooo…good…want more…”
Her words give me the final push over the edge. The last shred of self-control I have rips straight down the middle and I start thrusting into her deeper and faster than before, listening to her moans and pants in my ear as they act as fuel pushing me closer to the finish line.
Sex has never felt like this before, so raw, emotional and all-consuming. I didn't even know what the term love making meant until today. The connection between us has grown, we’re now tethered body and soul.
It’s like we are becoming one in this moment, and I don’t have a fucking clue where my body ends and hers begins. Our limbs are tangled, our skin fused together as we slide across one another, molded ourselves, my hard pieces pressing into her soft pieces. We are two complex shapes that somehow fit together perfectly.
“I’m close…so close...” she pants.
“Fuck…yes, baby, come, please come...” I growl, thrusting deeper. I swivel my hips and move one of my hands between our bodies to find her clit. When I do, I press my fingers right on the small bundle of nerves. Her body jerks against mine and as soon as I touch it, she falls apart, her body arching off the bed, her nails raking down my back.
I want to look at her face and take in every second of this, but with her pussy clenching around my cock, I can’t hold off my own climax much longer. Keeping my fingers on her clit, I maneuver into a kneeling position, easing out of her slowly so I can find my own release. I fist my cock with my free-hand and stroke it while watching the aftershocks of Jules’ orgasms run through her body.
Her clit throbs on my fingers just like my cock throbs in my hand and without even thinking about it, I explode. Jets of sticky cum spurt from my cock and land on Jules’ lower belly, and a groan I’m sure the entire house can hear escapes my lips. Stroking my cock, I watch the ropes claim her delicate skin, until there’s nothing left inside me.
When I fall back down to Earth, I catch sight of the mess I’ve made, and then look up to Jules’ face. She gives me a sleepy grin, and I’m overcome with emotions. She looks satisfied, in more than just a physical sense… as if she feels whole, happy, and content.
Whatever it takes, I’ll do it, just to keep her in my arms, to keep her as mine.
“Are you okay?” I ask, wanting to comfort her, needing to make certain I didn’t hurt her. “Do you want to take a shower? Or do you just want me to get a washcloth and clean you up?”
“I’m great. I just don’t want to move,” she murmurs, looking like she’s about to go to sleep, her eyes heavily lidded.
“Hold on,” I tell her before going into the bathroom to grab a washcloth. I wet it with a little warm water and then apply a small amount of soap and lather it. Jules is still laying with her legs spread apart, making it easier to clean her up. Using care and a gentleness that I’ve seemed to master, I clean her up. By the time I’m done, she can barely keep her eyes open.
Once I’m done with her, I clean myself off and slip into bed next to her, pulling her into my arms, and immediately regretting that I didn’t put some boxers on. Even though I just had her, I’m already thinking about taking her again.
Tomorrow, I tell myself…and then the day after that…and the day after the next...and forever, because there is no way in hell now that I’ve finally made her mine again, that I’m letting another man touch her, that I’m letting her go.
18
Jules
“I want you,” Remington purrs in my ear, sucking on the skin right below it. He knows exactly what to say and do to get me out of my panties, but that isn’t happening right now, maybe later tonight but not right now.
“Homework.” I barely get the word out, a moan escaping just after it.
Remmy pulls away, chuckling like the evil man he is. “Are you sure you want to do homework? That moan sounds a lot like something else.”
Rolling my eyes, I slug him playfully in the arm. “Remington,” I scold. “I need to do homework, so less trying to get my panties off of me, and more helping me study.”
He gives me a frown but pulls away, putting some space between us. It’s easier now than ever to get caught up in him. We’re not officially an item yet, but I know he isn’t goi
ng to step out on me and not just because he tells me fifty times a day.
He told me that I make him want to be a better man, a better man than he has been in the last three years. I told him to prove it to me, and boy has he been trying. I can see how much he wants this…see how much he wants us.
I’d be lying if I didn't say I want the same. I want this part of him so much. Day by day, I believe him that the person he became while I was gone is not here anymore and won’t ever return. I haven’t told him yet, but I’m ready.
I’m ready to give us another chance, to forget about the past. I want to focus on the future and stop dwelling on the things that neither of us can change. I want to make up for lost time and give us the chance we never got, the chance we deserve.
Remmy makes me feel whole, he fills the missing pieces in my heart. My nightmares are gone with him and I feel better overall, less scared and more content than I have in years…three years to be exact.
“What are you studying for anyway? You don’t need to study.”
Of course he would say that.
“Yes, I do. I can’t just wave a dollar bill and pass a class.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he questions, almost seeming as if he is hurt.
“That I need to study to actually pass my classes, which basically means you need to shut up.” I grin.
“You’re implying that I use money to get good grades?” He narrows his gaze.
“Of course not. You totally study and go to class every single day,” I tease.
A second later, my phone chimes on the nightstand interrupting our conversation.
What the hell? No one ever texts me, not unless it’s Rem or Cally.
Remington’s phone goes off in his pocket a second later and my brow furrows in confusion as I pick up my phone to glance down at the screen. It’s a text from a number I don’t recognize. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Remington pulling his phone out as well.
