by Renee Carr
My watch beeped before he could answer and I groaned. “We’ll continue this conversation later. Unfortunately, I’m going to be late if I don’t leave. I kind of pushed it to the limit.”
I walked over and gave him a kiss before grabbing my bag. He playfully swatted me on the butt as I passed and I jumped just a bit, turning back and winking at him. “I’ll see you tonight. Whatever you do today, stay safe and please tell Eric I said hi.”
I gave him a big smile and hurried through the door and down to my car. The feelings of love and excitement were always there, but they were overrun by my feelings of fear and worry for Christian. I climbed into my car, glancing up at the guest house for just a moment before heading off to work. When I got there, the waiting room for the emergency department was pretty busy. Christian’s doctor was also filling in in the ER since it was the only hospital in town.
Putting down my things, I glanced up at the other nurses, but they didn’t seem to notice that I had arrived. The doctor walked up behind me and made me jump. “Libby, I was waiting for you to get here.”
I turned toward him, curious. “Is there news? About Christian? Did we figure something out or is there something wrong?”
Luckily, the doctor was too busy and thinking about too many things to notice just how nervous I was in my questioning. He shook his head, looking down at a file. “Unfortunately, no. There’s nothing new to report. We still can’t figure out what’s going on with him. I know that I have an appointment with him today but he didn’t answer to confirm that. Did he say anything to you?”
I pretended to think about it. “Actually, I’m pretty sure he forgot. He’s supposed to meet up with his brother and handle some business. He seems to be perfectly fine. I think that’s what made it slip his mind. Every reading that I’ve taken is normal, and I’ve recorded it in his file. At the house, he’s eating fine, and he has an amazing amount of energy. I have to calm him down and remind him not to go wild with it.”
The doctor scrunched his forehead and leaned against the table. “That’s just so strange. I mean, it’s not the first time that we’ve had something happen that we can’t find an answer to. It’s not the first time someone was very ill and then suddenly began feeling better, but I really thought that we would eventually find the answer.”
My hands were clasped so hard in front of me that my knuckles were white. “Me too. Obviously, he’s going to have to continue undergoing testing into the future, but for right now, like I said, he seems to be doing really well.”
The doctor picked up his coffee and took a sip. “Well, it’s strange, but the next time he comes in, if he’s doing just fine and hasn’t had any seizures or fevers, and his stats are all in line, I don’t really have any choice but to release him. We’ll let him go home and have him follow up with his physician in town. I might even convince him to come back out here once a month to let me give him a checkup.”
I smiled at the doctor and nodded as he moved past me and headed out to do his rounds. I had mixed feelings about the doctor releasing him. On one hand, I knew that it was good for him, and it would keep any possibility of them finding out what really happened toa minimum. At the same time, though, if they gave him the go-ahead and released him, he would probably go back home. It was selfish of me, but I had really fallen for him, and I would continue to worry about him no matter where he was.
I knew the day would come, I just didn’t think that it would come so soon. My heart felt a little bit crushed from it.
19
Christian
“You’re looking better,” Eric said as we sat down at the table. “I don’t know what I expected, though. Maybe a walking dead, or suddenly you turned into some sort of radioactive creature. It wouldn’t be that much different than your normal.”
I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Very funny. Very funny. Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better. I actually went out for a hike the other day, and I’m eating fine, and everything seems normal. I’m really just waiting for them to release me. I know they want to figure out what’s wrong, and I’m not against that, but in the meantime, I need to get back to work. I appreciate that you’ve been filling in at the store and making sure that everything’s been going okay.”
Eric shrugged. “I also took a whole bunch of pictures. I figured maybe you need some new promotion pictures or marketing stuff. The employees are really nice and I barely have to say anything to them.”
With a smile, I took a sip of the water the waitress had put down in front of me. “Yeah, they’ve all been really great. Most of the time I don’t even need to be there. Either way, though, it is my company and I would like to make sure that everything else gets taken care of.”
The waitress came up and we both ordered, waiting to talk until she walked away. Eric leaned back in his chair. “Have they said anything about what they think is wrong?”
I cleared my throat and half shook my head. “Not really. None of the tests have come back with anything. And the bite on my arm is pretty much healed. They think I’m just bionic, or maybe Superman. No big deal.”
Eric chuckled, and I was glad to see that he was moving on from the conversation. I felt bad lying to my brother, but there was no way that I could tell him the truth. I couldn’t tell either one of my brothers the truth. First of all, it sounded absolutely crazy. I knew the first thing they would do would be to ask me to see a psychiatrist. But if they did believe me, it would put them in a lot of danger. I knew them all too well, and from the outside, the idea of being able to shift into a wolf sounded exciting. But what they wouldn’t realize was that it was also very dangerous. I knew they would want to be involved. I couldn’t let that happen.
My brothers were important to me; they always had been. We had taken care of each other after our mother died, and I had watched out for them their whole lives. I wanted to protect them from this, even if it was a secret that I had to hold my entire life. Eric was a blooming photographer, in search of that perfect shot—that shot that no one else had. There was no question that a shot of a shifting wolf would be front-page news. His career would take off, and he would’ve taken one of the most important pictures in history. But at the same time, trying to get that picture would be interesting. With wolves like the dark wolves and then those like Arthur, who were just trying to protect the others, Eric would either be bitten, scratched, or killed.
“I got this pretty sweet shot of a falcon the other day at an event they were having in Galena.” Eric grabbed his phone and put it down in front of me, flipping through the pictures. “I think it might be one that I’ll do some editing on and send it in. The bird’s not wild, it’s a wounded animal at the animal sanctuary, but it was still pretty cool.”
I smiled, looking down at the pictures. In my mind, I could almost replace the picture of the falcon with a picture of one of us shifting. Unfortunately, if he attempted to take that picture, I was pretty sure it would never see the light of day. If Eric wasn’t killed, he would face a whole different look on life. From what Arthur told me, the whole reason I shifted was because I had wolf DNA in my blood. If I had it, then it ran in Eric’s veins too. While I was making the best of my circumstances, the last thing I wanted to do was let my brother turn into a shifter. It wasn’t going to be the easiest life. Not to mention the fact that my brother was all about protection, and he would be the first one lining up to fight the dark wolves.
“I still think that you should take a trip out to Alaska,” I replied. “It would be like a vacation, plus you would get to build your portfolio. I always see amazing pictures from Alaska.”
Eric smiled. “Always trying to get rid of me.”
I chuckled, though the idea wasn’t that far-fetched. If he wasn’t close to the shifters, he wouldn’t be able to become one or find out my secret. It wasn’t that easy, though; I knew he wouldn’t just up and leave. “Not until I get back to take over the store. But no, you know I like having you guys around, it’s family. I also want you to be able
to do what you want to do with your career. You put your blood, sweat, and tears into this and it’s what you want to do with your life. Eventually, you’re going to have to travel. You’re only going to be able to take so many shots of blue jays before you start pulling your hair out.”
Eric laughed and shook his head. “I’m already there. My hair is coming out in clumps every day.”
“You’re just going bald,” I teased him.
Eric pouted and then laughed. “So, how’re things going for you? Libby told us that you’re staying at her guest house. That’s pretty awesome. She seems like she actually really cares about you.”
I tried to hold back a smile, but Eric saw through it. Before he could tease me, I put up my hand. “Libby is amazing. And yes, there is definitely something going on between the two of us. In fact, it has been for a couple of weeks now. It’s not why I’m staying here, that’s because they’re pretty much holding me hostage. But I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t really given much thought about coming back when I am able to go home and eat a home-cooked meal and spend time with a beautiful woman like her. She’s caring and kind, and probably everything that I imagined I would find in a woman one day.”
Eric’s eyes went big. “Wow. That’s intense. Man, I’m happy for you. Really. I know we tease each other a lot, but you’ve been the best big brother that anyone could ever imagine. You’ve always given your life and your time and your focus to us, but we’re all grown now. And it’s not that we won’t always need our big brother, but it’s time for you to start thinking about yourself for once.”
The waitress walked up and set our plates in front of us. We thanked her and prepared to eat. I had forgotten just how starving I was. I had to control myself and not swallow my food whole and worry my brother. “Yeah, I’ve realized that you guys don’t need me as much. Dad’s doing a little better too. I was already thinking when we went on the trip initially that maybe it was time that I start dating. I’ve got the business, the house, and the family; I just don’t have my own family.”
Eric pointed his fork at me. “And you’re not getting any younger.”
I stared at him for a minute and shook my head. “You’re right. I’m not getting any younger. But don’t put me in the grave yet, I’m not that old. There were just a lot more important things in my life that needed my attention. Now that there’s not, Libby just kind of fell into my lap. I didn’t expect it, I wasn’t looking for it, but there she was.”
Eric grinned. “And how does she feel about you?”
I shrugged. “I mean, she seems to be happy, but I won’t lie, I’m a bit worried that she won’t want to be with someone like me. That it’s fun right now and she’s taking care of me, but when it comes to real life, I’m not positive that she wants the same things as me. It’s not that she says she doesn’t, I guess I just worry she’s not interested and I’ve invested my time and my heart into her.”
“It’s not like she would have to move that far,” Eric replied. “Galena isn’t that far away. And there’s hospitals and doctors’ offices there for her to work at. It’s really not that big of a logistical challenge.”
I swallowed my food and took a sip of my water. “You’re right, but she has an entire life here. She has a job she’s worked really hard at, patients that she sees, and then there’s her mother. Her mother’s in a wheelchair because she was in a really bad accident. She takes care of her mother and she worries about her all the time. I can’t see her moving away from her.”
We continued the conversation, but what I was saying wasn’t exactly true. Sure, it was a worry to me that logistically it would be complicated, but when two people cared about each other, they made that kind of thing work. The real reason I was worried she wouldn’t want to be with me was because I had turned into a shifter. I was a wolf, and not only was it hard to swallow and to get used to, it could be dangerous for her.
That night I first turned into a wolf had played over and over in my mind. It wasn’t because I wanted to remember it so badly or because there were clues to anything; it was because the fear in her face struck me to my core. The fact that I could’ve easily hurt her or even killed her if I hadn’t been in my right mind. That was more terrifying to me than anything else. Just like it has been with my brothers, when I loved somebody, I wanted to do whatever was best for them, even if I was the one who had to suffer the consequences.
No matter how much I wanted to be with Libby, I wasn’t sure that I could give myself to her. I wasn’t sure that I could put her in that kind of danger no matter what my feelings were. In a perfect world, this would have never happened with the wolf, but I would’ve still met her. We would’ve dated and fallen in love, and then gotten married and had children. But as things stood, if we continued to date, beyond the fact that it was extraordinarily dangerous for her, I wasn’t sure that I could offer her the things that she would want out of life. I had no idea if shifters could have children, or if we could even have normal relationships. Every shifter I’d ever met lived in the woods in a cave. Of course, I really hadn’t met that many shifters.
Everything was confusing, but there was one very important and clear idea in my head. No matter what I did, I would always protect Libby before anything else.
20
Libby
It was hard keeping my eyes closed, feeling Christian toss and turn next to me. I knew he was acting; he was terrible at it. But I wasn’t going to fight it, so I turned away from him and snuggled up to my pillow, pretending to be asleep. He gently tapped me a couple of times, whispering my name. I didn’t respond. My eyes were shut, but I could feel Christian lifting up out of the bed ever so carefully, then heard him moving across the room. He really didn’t notice just how loud he was.
This had become a regular thing, every night at around the same time, when the moon was just at the tip of my window and the night was beginning. Sometimes before he left, I could hear a howl in the distance and I wondered if it wasn’t calling for him. Either way, he did the same thing every night. Crept out of bed, slowly and carefully put on his clothes, tied his shoes and usually stumbled one or two times, and then very quietly moved out of the house until the door was shut.
Every other night when this happened, I would lie awake for a couple of hours, worried, until finally drifting off to sleep. I would only wake up when I felt him creep back into the bed. Even then I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to give him the chance to give me excuses or lies. I didn’t want that from him; he had been so honest with me up to that point. I didn’t want to ruin it. It wasn’t like I thought he was doing something wrong, I was just worried about him. And curiosity had really gotten a hold of me.
I waited a few minutes after he shut the door, until he was off the staircase and I could no longer hear his feet. My eyes opened wide and I stared out at the moon cascading light across the bed. It was a full moon that night, and oddly eerie outside. Carefully, I pulled back the covers and walked gently over to the window, standing to the side just in case he looked back. I glanced down at the moonlit grass and watched as he disappeared around the corner for just a few moments before reappearing in the distance on the driveway.
Narrowing my eyes and moving to the other side for a better look past the main house, I watched as he hurried down the driveway and took a right, heading for the woods. The national forest sat right on the edge of our property, and there was never anyone that far out. Once he had disappeared into the woods, I backed up and sat gently on the bed, biting the inside of my lip. Why would he be going back into the national forest? It was exactly where he had been bitten, but he had done as much investigation there as he possibly could.
After his first change into his wolf, I had sat down on the Internet and did some research, looking for any random stories of a man turning into a wolf. The only things I came up with were stories about werewolves, but that wasn’t what was happening. He wasn’t a monster—he was literally a very large wolf. If you walked up on him in the woods, you
wouldn’t have any idea that beneath the surface, he was just a man. He didn’t work off timetables like full moons or anything like that, he changed whenever he wanted to. Beyond the morbid tales of werewolves and silver bullets, there really wasn’t anything else to be found.
I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, but paused at the liquor cabinet and pulled out a shot glass instead. There was a strange mixture of curiosity and fear inside of me and it was topped off with worry. I knew that I couldn’t keep going like that, wondering where he was going, watching him disappear into the woods, but I also couldn’t get him to tell me anything either. It was frustrating and after weeks of it, I was at the point where I needed answers. Taking a deep breath, I poured myself a shot of vodka and threw it back, swallowing hard before setting it down hard on the counter and changing my clothes. I pulled on my boots and laced them up, grabbing my pocketknife and sticking it in my back pocket. It wasn’t much protection but it was either that or a stethoscope.
I left the lights exactly how they were when Christian left, not wanting to raise suspicion with my mother. She was a light sleeper and lights flickering on and off would definitely wake her up. There were already too many variables at play, and the last thing I needed was my wheelchair-bound mother looking for us. Before leaving, I grabbed a flashlight and pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up, knowing it was a chilly night.
Outside, the moonlight was so bright that I didn’t need the flashlight until I went into the forest. I crossed the backyard and around to the other side of the house and slipped across the tree line where I’d entered the woods a million times as a kid. It was a bit more overgrown than when I was younger, but there was still a faint trail and a familiarity to it that calmed my nerves. Once I was far enough in that I knew the light wouldn’t shine back at my mother’s house, I flicked on my flashlight and scanned the area.
