by Amelia Grey
She pulled back from him and held her arms stiffly at her side. “I want you to leave.”
Lyon reached for her hand again and caught her wrist. “I know, but I’m not going to.” He let his fingers slide down and grasp her palm.
“Give me the other hand,” he said softly.
He had her attention, but she still answered, “No. What are you doing? I don’t want to hold your hand. I want you to go away and leave me be.”
“I will, but not right now. Come on, take my other hand.”
He walked toward and she walked backward as he continued to advance on her.
“Your other hand, Adeline. Let me hold it.”
Finally, she lifted her arm and he grasped her fingertips. He stopped moving forward and started sidestepping. His upper arm bumped hers, and she was forced to sidestep, too. Taking faster steps, he knocked into her again.
“You’re going too slow.”
Adeline took wider, hastier steps.
“Don’t let me step on your ankle,” he said. “Keep going.”
“No—I—what are you doing?”
“What I’ve seen the girls at your school do from my window. Hold hands and spin.”
“I don’t want to do this, Lyon,” she whispered softly. “Please.”
“Go faster. Pick it up or I’ll run over you.”
Suddenly they were holding hands tightly and making circle after circle, spinning around as fast as their feet would move. Her skirts swished and twirled about her legs, her hair fell from its bun and danced across her back.
“Don’t stop.”
And she didn’t. Swinging round after round, step after step, spinning until she was so dizzy she fell against his chest, out of breath and laughing. Lyon caught her in his strong embrace and kissed her hair just above her ear several times. She snuggled deeper. It felt so good to press her cheek into the soft padding of his quilted waistcoat, to rest her head and her heart, and to allow her inner balance to return to normal. She soaked up the comfort of his hands running soothingly up and down her back.
Her breathing was labored but she was calmer. Lifting her head and her arms, she clasped her hands together at his nape. He bent and kissed her tenderly, sweetly on the lips. His touch was delicate, enticing, and brief.
“You’re breathing heavy,” he said.
She smiled and murmured, “So are you.”
For a long time, he simply held her close. She lifted her head and placed her lips on his and kissed him the same way he’d kissed her. Slow and soft. Sensuous and enticing.
The longer they kissed, the more she wanted it to go on forever. She wanted to forget everything but her love for him. She opened her mouth, and his tongue explored inside with eager yet soothing strokes. His hands moved down her chest to palm and mold her breasts, lightly caressing. Her nipple stiffened beneath his gentle touch. Adeline moaned and leaned into his hand, enjoying the intense feeling. She ran her hands down the front of his trousers and moaned.
Yes, this is what she wanted. “I’ve missed being with you like this.”
“Adeline,” he whispered.
“Yes?” she answered, enjoying the ripples of sensation tightening in her stomach, sending waves of pleasure flowing down her body to settle into her most womanly part.
“We are back to where we were a month ago.”
She turned around and looked at the settee. “I know. It’s all I can offer.”
His eyes narrowed and his lips tightened. “I want more. I love you, Adeline. Marry me.”
She swallowed hard as she gazed into his eyes. “You know I wanted a child, too. I suppose that’s really the reason I drank every brew and endured every examination. I wanted a child to love. I married Wake because I thought he loved me. But I soon found out all he wanted was an heir. Not me to love. Not a child to love, but an heir to carry on his title. You’ll need an heir one day, too, Lyon. You will inherit your father’s title one day and you will give your son yours. The burden of not being able to do that is too heavy and I can’t go through that again.”
“Have you so little faith in me?” Lyon asked in an exasperated voice. “Don’t you know by now that I would never do to you or ask of you what Wake did?”
“Yes.” She tried to tell him with her eyes she meant that. “I do believe that. But I know you deserve a son. I won’t go through the pain of not being able to give you that.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m only asking for your love and for you to marry me. No matter who I’d marry I might never have a child. Or I could have five daughters and no son.”
“But at least you would have a chance. With me there is no chance.”
“Having a child has never been a reason for me to marry, Adeline.” He stopped and ran his hand through his hair and inhaled deeply. “My father has been after me to marry and produce an heir since I was twenty. I have always told him love comes first. Then marriage. Having or not having a child with you would not change my love for you. I’ve waited to find the love of one woman sharing my bed, my mornings and my nights beside me in all things till death do we part. You are the lady I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted. I love you and want to marry you. I’ve never forced my attentions on any woman and I’ll not force my love for you on you. You must come to me as my wife willingly or not at all.”
“I love you, too. You must know that.”
“I do. That’s why it’s so hard to understand you not wanting to marry me. It’s time for you to trust that I won’t be like your first husband. I won’t demand anything from you but love.”
“You have my love,” she exclaimed. “You have my devotion. Why can’t that be enough? You are being stubborn for not understanding why I can’t marry you.”
“I am being fair to you and to me. A lover is not what I want and a lover is not what you deserve.” His voice softened. “I have had lovers, Adeline. They are very good at satisfying the body but they don’t satisfy the heart or the soul. Marriage is a shelter, security. It is love that will hold us together and keep us content. I want a wife who loves me for me, for who I am, not whether or not she can give me a child. Love is the only thing I am asking from you, and if you can’t trust me with your love then I agree, we can’t marry.”
Adeline backed away from him. “It’s settled then.”
He nodded. “Except for Nora. That’s her name. She’s only five years old. What happened is not her fault. Keep the child Wake’s mistress sent to you. You are a kind, tenderhearted lady. You are capable and you must take care of your husband’s child. In a way, by doing what his brother and mistress are failing to do, you are finally giving him the child he wanted.”
A sob rose in Adeline’s throat again. “You ask too much of me. She doesn’t belong here. She needs to be with her mother.”
“No, you’re making excuses. You don’t want to see her each day and be reminded of the past.”
“Why is that wrong?”
“Because you must put what he did to you behind you so you can forgive and start new. And trust me that your love will be enough for me after we marry.”
She straightened and blinked away more tears, hating the reality that she was still afraid to trust him. “I don’t think I can do that. I will let her stay at the school while I will search for her mother.”
“Good. Maybe that will be a start to healing, Adeline.”
Lyon turned the lock in the door, opened it, and walked out.
Chapter 21
Adeline stood in front of the earl’s door, resolute in what she had to do. It had taken her no small amount of time, courage and soul-searching to get to this point. At first she hadn’t known what to think much less what to say or do. She’d struggled for days with her own tense emotions for the right answer to what she should do, and found there was only one solution.
On one side of her was Fanny and on the other side, Mathilda. Mrs. Tallon stood watch behind them. Each girl had her arms out and palms up carefully holding six neckcloths. It had t
aken the girls almost two months to get the dozen lengths of cloth finished to the headmistress’s satisfaction. They had met Adeline’s approval, too, after she had looked them over. On top of the stacks were short hand-written notes from each girl apologizing to the earl for entering his house.
Really more important than the recompense to the earl was the fact that neither girl had broken a rule since they’d been given the punishment of no play time for a month. Their good behavior could very well be because Mrs. Tallon kept them so busy cutting, sewing, washing, and pressing the fabric over and over again that there was no time for mischief. Or maybe it was that they had finally settled into boarding-school life and were content. Adeline didn’t want to think it had anything to do with the cane that stood in the corner of the classroom, but she couldn’t be sure it didn’t. The actual cause for the change in their naughtiness didn’t matter. That it had happened was all that mattered. The school was functioning the way she’d always envisioned—except for Nora.
That wasn’t likely to change anytime soon.
Adeline hadn’t found it within herself to speak to the little girl yet, but Mrs. Tallon said she was adjusting.
Squaring her shoulders up tight, Adeline drew in a deep breath of late-afternoon air and knocked on the door. Moments later, the butler opened it and looked from her to the girls to Mrs. Tallon. “The earl received your note and is expecting you, Lady Wake.”
“Thank you, Brewster. Would you please ask his lordship to come to the door, the girls won’t be coming inside.”
He nodded. “As you wish, my lady.”
Brewster left the door open, and Adeline heard Lyon coming down the corridor. Her stomach tightened. She’d only seen him at a distance lately and was eager to see him up close again.
“Lady Wake,” he said, “I didn’t realize the girls would be with you. “What is this?”
He looked splendid. Maybe even more handsome than ever. Trepidation filled her but she touched each girl’s shoulder, ushering them forward. Fanny lifted up her offering to him and in a loud voice said, “I’m sorry for entering your house without permission. I wish to give you these.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Mathilda echoed, though not quite as forceful, as she stepped up closer to the earl and offered him the load in her arms, too. “I brought you this gift and hope you’ll accept it.”
“Me too,” Fanny said and smiled so brightly Adeline wanted to hug her. “We had to work extra hard until we made every one of them perfect. Mrs. Tallon said so.”
Lyon continued to look at the girls but didn’t offer to take the neckcloths from them. “That’s quite a few you have there.”
“Twelve,” Fanny said. “We counted each one. More than once, so we know we’re right.”
“That many?” he said and glanced at Adeline.
“Mrs. Tallon said sometimes a gentleman has to wrinkle three or four neckcloths a morning before he gets one tied the way he wants it,” Fanny informed him.
“Did she?” he asked, still making no attempt to receive the gift.
Adeline cleared her throat. “The girls would like to know if you’d accept these along with their apologies.”
“Yes. Of course.” He looked over his shoulder and called, “Brewster.” He bent down to Fanny’s level and took hers first. “They’re—handsome.”
“Don’t wrinkle them,” she said, handing them over to him. “They’re not easy to press.” Lyon glanced over at Adeline and smiled. He then took the neckcloths from Mathilda and thanked her, too. He gave them to Brewster. “Have Dome put these away.”
The girls beamed.
“If you’ll pardon me, my lady,” Mrs. Tallon said, stepping forward. “The girls have a gift for you, too.”
Adeline looked at Fanny and Mathilda. “For me?”
Each girl pulled a folded handkerchief from their pockets and handed it to Adeline.
“We knitted the lace and then we had to sew it on,” Mathilda said.
“That wasn’t easy either,” Fanny said and rolled her eyes. “I’d rather cut and sew than knit.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t, but they’re lovely.” Adeline’s heart constricted. “It wasn’t necessary to do this for me, but I do like surprises. Thank you, girls. It must have taken quite some time to learn how to do all this. They’re very delicate and look perfect.”
“My fingers were sore, but I’m glad you like it.”
“Mine, too,” Mathilda agreed.
Adeline laughed lightly. “I do, but now it is back to school for you two.”
She handed the handkerchiefs to Mrs. Tallon. “Would you please stop and give these to Mrs. Lawton for me? I need to speak to the earl.”
Adeline watched them walk down the stone steps and out the gate before turning back to Lyon. “May I come in?”
His brow rose. “I think you must have forgotten about Mrs. Feversham and her spyglass.”
“I haven’t forgotten. Is she still watching our doors?”
“According to my aunt she hasn’t missed much that has happened around our houses.”
“Didn’t you tell me you’ve never met her?”
“Yes. She has no qualms about sending me a note if she wants me to deliver a basket full of tarts to a girls’ school, but we’ve never met.”
“I haven’t been over to see her either. Maybe she’s just lonely. Perhaps if we did—if I did—she’d see me more as a friend and not just a neighbor, and not feel right about spying on a friend.”
Lyon smiled at her. “You try it first and let me know if it works.”
“I think I will, but not today. I’ll take my chances with her snooping, if you don’t mind.” Adeline’s heartbeat was racing but she found the courage to say, “I do have something to tell you that I’d rather not say standing out here. If you don’t mind, I’d like to come inside.”
“You are always welcome in my home, Adeline.” He stepped aside. “Though as you know, doing so has its risks.”
“In more than one way,” she answered softly, letting her gaze flutter down his face.
“Aunt Delia saved us once before. Perhaps she can work her magic and do it again if Mrs. Feversham isn’t taking her afternoon nap.”
He waved Brewster away and helped Adeline with her short black cape. “Would you like for me to have some tea brought in?”
“No,” she said with a bit of a smile. “I believe I’d like to have a snip of brandy.”
She was sure it was alarm she saw on Lyon’s face, and that made a soft laugh flow past her lips.
He slowly laid her wrap on a chair. His eyes searched hers intently. “Are you sure about that?”
“Quite.”
He didn’t question her further, but motioned down the corridor. “Join me in the drawing room.”
Adeline walked past him on shaky legs. His footsteps echoed behind her. She gathered strength and was heartened with each step she heard. She didn’t stop until she stood before the low-burning fire.
They remained quiet as he covered the bottom of a small delicate-looking stemmed glass with the amber liquid.
“I heard your father married,” she said.
He handed her the glass. “Yes. They quit the Season early to travel to his estates so he could introduce his new bride. Helen wanted it and surprisingly, he agreed. I haven’t heard from them, but assume all is going well with their ventures.”
“I thought she was very nice. She came to visit me before they left, and we had an enjoyable time.”
“Good,” he said, and then dismissing that subject, he asked, “Have you come to tell me you’ve found your husband’s mistress and reunited her with her child? I know you have someone searching for her.”
“No. The runners haven’t found a trace of her. Julia and Brina agree that we should continue to look for her, but so far no one will admit to knowing her whereabouts. I wrote to the Earl of Wake and asked for his help. He responded that he had nothing to say on the subject.”
“I think he’d al
ready made that clear.”
“Yes, and while we search for her mother, Nora is safe, cared for, and adjusting to her new life.”
“Have you seen her?”
“Yes. From a distance.”
“You are doing the right thing for her.”
“I could do no other. As you pointed out. When we started the school, it was never our intention to get involved in the lives of any of the girls. Only to provide a place for them to learn. Fanny made that an exception by her escapades. She’s settled down now and isn’t wandering away from the others in the class.”
“That must make it easier for everyone.”
“Yes. I am letting Mrs. Tallon handle everything. That seems to be working well for both of us.”
“Good,” Lyon said and blew out a deep breath. “Is that what you came to tell me, Adeline?”
“No. I want things settled between us. First, I want you to know that I love you.”
“And you need a shot of brandy to tell me that?” he asked, suddenly sounding angry.
“No.” She looked down at her glass.
“Just telling me you love me settles nothing between us. I haven’t doubted your love for me.”
“You didn’t pour one for yourself,” she said. “Must a lady drink alone?”
His gaze swept over hers again. “Of course not.”
He walked back to the table and splashed a dram in his glass and joined her again. Not waiting for her, he downed the nip in one swallow. Her hand trembled, but refusing to think about the past, she inhaled deeply and put the glass to her lips. She sipped a small amount and swallowed. There was no foul taste, no bitter remembrances, just a sweet sting and then the flash of warmth that always flamed her cheeks and neck for a second or two.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “That was one of the fears I needed to put to rest. The easier one.”
Lyon put his glass down and then took hers, placing it beside his. “You are troubling me, Adeline. Something’s wrong. What is it that you want to tell me?”
“I am carrying your child.”
He looked astounded. “A babe?”
She stepped back, suddenly feeling frightened and alone, despite all her earlier thoughts of courage and determination about her admission of the situation she found herself in. “I swear to you I haven’t been with another man.”
