by Ember Casey
He chuckles, curling his fingers more tightly around my hand. “You know, Elle, if you don’t push on occasion, you’ll never know how far things might be able to go.”
I look up at him, but he’s staring straight ahead.
I’m reading too much into his words, as usual. There’s no way he wants anything more than to end up in my bed. And I’m okay with that, as long as I remind myself that’s all it is—a one-night stand.
We finally reach the restaurant. It’s empty, like it seems to always be.
The waiter seats us at one of the booths, and Leo waits for me to sit.
I can tell he wants me to scoot myself to the wall so he can sit next to me, but I stay at the edge, forcing him to sit across from me instead.
No need to put myself in a situation where I can’t say no to him. Not in a restaurant.
He takes the seat across from me, frowning for a moment before he plasters a phony smile on his lips. He pulls a menu toward him, and after he glances at it, the frown returns to his face. “Elle, the offerings here are questionable—”
I shake my head. “Peanut butter is still an option, Leo.”
He almost winces as he turns his attention back to the menu. He rolls his eyes after a minute and sets the menu down. “I think the only thing that might not cause an unbearable case of indigestion would be the barbecue pork, but I doubt—”
I almost slam my menu down in front of me. My brow furrows and I look up into his eyes. “Why are you here?”
He frowns deeply. “I told you in your office, Elle. I needed to see you again.” He tilts his head, his blue eyes blazing into mine. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I decided that I needed one more time—”
“One more time.” My voice is flat as I repeat his words. I force a smile. “To what end?”
“Humor me, Elle.” He reaches out and takes my hand in his. His finger trails across the back of my hand before he curls his fingers around mine. “Please? For one night?”
He lifts my hand to his lips. He closes his eyes for a moment while he kisses my fingers before he meets my gaze again. “One night. And if you have any hesitations after tonight, I’ll leave without question. That is my promise to you.”
I hate how my breath has caught in my chest at the touch of his lips on my skin. I hate that he still has this power over me—that he can make my heart beat so wildly I can’t seem to feel anything else.
Something tells me I’m about to have my heart trampled on again. But I can’t stop myself. I’m somehow sure the runaway train that is our relationship is about to crash and burn again, and I can’t find the will to stop it.
One night. I can do this for one night.
The waiter returns to our table and I don’t even get my mouth open to give him my order before Leo interrupts.
“We’ll start with a bottle of your best champagne.”
The man holds his pen and small pad in front of him, blinking at Leo.
Leo stares back. “You do have champagne, do you not?”
The man gives him a small shake of his head.
“Your finest wine, then. Surely you have a merlot?”
The man shakes his head again.
“A Chardonnay?”
The waiter blinks at him but doesn’t even shake his head this time.
I try not to roll my eyes. “I think what my friend is trying to say—”
Leo interrupts. “Date.”
My eyes definitely roll this time. “Fine. Date. What my date is trying to say is we’ll start with some tea. And the barbecue pork.”
The waiter smiles and nods and walks into the back of the restaurant.
Leo lets out a long breath, bringing my fingers to his lips again. “Elle, you must know you’re worthy of more than tea with your dinner.”
I pull my fingers away, folding my hands on my lap. “Leo, it has nothing to do with being worthy. They don’t have wine and they certainly don’t have champagne here.”
He tents his hands on the table in front of him. “Clearly, I’m not accustomed to eating at such fine establishments.”
“Leo…” I shake my head. “This is how people live. Real people. I mean…clearly I’m not accustomed to eating with people who don’t realize that.” I frown before I take a sip of the water the waiter set in front of me. “That’s why we would never work together. You don’t fit in my world, and I certainly don’t belong in yours.”
He’s quiet for a moment, tapping his fingers together.
I stare at him for another moment before I speak again. “I owe you an apology, Leo. For the way I behaved when you were at my house. I—”
“No. No, Elle, it is I who owes you an apology. I… Leaving you was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life. And I’ve made many mistakes. It is just that—”
“Leo, I’m not sure what your end goal is here. I mean…” I lower my voice, though there’s really no one around to hear. “I mean, the sex was great. At least it was for me—I’m sure you’ve had better—”
“On the contrary, Elle, it was spectacular for me, as well. But you can’t believe that is the only reason I returned.”
“I know…” I frown. “I don’t. I don’t believe that’s why you returned, because you clearly have plenty of options out there if sex is what you’re after.”
His shoulders drop and he shakes his head. His hands ball into fists and he squeezes his eyes shut for a long moment. He opens them and looks into my eyes. “How many days has it been since I left, Elle?”
“How many days? I don’t know… It was a little over three months ago—”
“Ninety-four days. Ninety-four. Do you know how I know that, Elle?”
I press my lips together. “No.”
“I know because I’ve counted. I’ve counted every single day—I knew that on day ninety-four you would be done with this blasted job and that I could finally see you again. I didn’t want to distract you from your work. I purposely waited until today.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I’ve had this day planned for over a month. I planned this evening down to the finest detail.” He glances around the restaurant before returning his gaze to mine. His voice lowers. “And not a single one of those details involved eating at an establishment where the featured dish was something made with imitation crab meat.” He rubs a hand across his jaw. “I don’t even want to imagine the ingredients in an imitation seafood, Elle.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Leo, I don’t need your fancy dates. I don’t need—”
“Of course you don’t need it. I know that, Elle.”
I frown again. I promised myself I wasn’t going to bring it up, but this overly dramatic act is all a bit too much. “Leo, I would love to say I believe you. I mean, I believe it’s been ninety-four days—”
“It has—”
“But it isn’t as though you’ve been sitting alone in your room pining for me or anything. It’s not like your life just stopped.”
His jaw clenches for a moment and something flashes in his eyes. Regret, maybe. “Everything I have done in the past ninety-four days has been merely a distraction.”
“Ah. I think I’ve heard this song before.” I force a smile and fold my hands on the table. “Hopefully, when you told those women that they weren’t distractions for you, they didn’t believe you. I hope they saw through that infamous bullshit line. Because, you know, I still feel the knife in my heart when you say that to me.”
“Elle…” He takes my hand in his again before lifting it to his lips, pressing another kiss to my fingers. “I assure you. You are the only woman I have ever admitted was not a distraction.”
I smile and shake my head. I hold back the laugh I feel bubbling up inside me. “Leo, you are ridiculous. What’s funny is how you have no idea how ridiculous you are. You know that telling me you were with other women but that they didn’t mean anything doesn’t make me feel better, right?”
“Why wouldn’t it, though?”
I roll my eyes and let out a long sigh. “Would you be happy to know I’ve slept with seven guys since I’ve been here?”
His face flushes and rage flashes through his eyes. His free hand balls into a fist. “Elle—”
“I haven’t, Leo. I’m just trying to show you…” I groan and turn away. “You have no grip on reality. That’s all I wanted to point out.”
“How many, Elle? How many men have there been? My investigators have been keeping a close eye since they located you here in Arizona—”
“Oh, fuck your investigators. Maybe I slept with them.” I turn back to him with a frown. “You know, I’m trying to tell myself that this whole act of yours is just you trying to be charming, even though you’re actually acting like more of stalker.” I glare at him for a few moments. “And I haven’t been with anyone since you left me that day. Not that it’s any of your business.”
He’s trying to hide it, but I can see he’s pleased by the news. A small smile forms on his lips. “I am…relieved to hear that, Elle. And by the end of tonight, I have no doubt the only thing you’ll be telling yourself in that beautiful head of yours is that you belong to me.”
I lift a brow. “I belong to you?” I let out a choked laugh. “You’re dreaming.”
“I assure you, Elle—”
“Stop assuring me. None of your past assurances have assured me of anything.”
The waiter returns to the table with a pot of tea and a plate of meat. He sets small bowls with the dipping sauces in front of each of us, then looks at Leo with a smile.
Leo frowns at the plate of red-crusted meat before looking up at the man. “I think that will be all for now.”
The waiter nods and returns to the back of the restaurant.
Leo turns his gaze to me. “Elle, this may be inedible—”
I already have a forkful of meat and have dipped a corner of it into the hot mustard. “Try it before you say it’s inedible.” But as soon as I take a bite, I can tell by the chewy texture I won’t be taking another.
He winces as he plunges his fork into a slice of the meat. He covers the entire thing in the hot mustard before lifting it to his lips.
“Leo…” I don’t even have time to warn him before he puts the small slice of meat into his mouth.
Tears come to his widened eyes and he sputters before he swallows, grabbing his glass of water and draining it in what seems like a single gulp. He swipes at his eyes with the back of his hands before he turns his gaze back to mine. “You might have warned me—”
“I’m sorry.” I have to press my lips together to keep myself from laughing. “I thought you realized the mustard—”
“Oh, we make one of the finest mustards in the world in Montovia.” He takes another sip of his water. “Though, I can’t say this mustard is anywhere near ours…” He lets out a breath and smiles before he starts to laugh.
I start to laugh, too. It takes me a few moments to realize he’s stopped laughing and is looking at me with an expression I don’t recognize.
My cheeks burn with embarrassment as I realize I’m making a fool of myself. I grab my water and take a long drink.
He pulls my hand to his lips again. “Elle, you have no idea how I’ve longed to hear that sound. What I would do to hear it again.”
“To hear…what?” My brow furrows and I pull my hand away. “Leo, none of this is making any sense.”
“To hear you laugh. I…I would give anything to hear that sound.”
My face feels like it’s on fire. “Leo…”
He squeezes my hand. “As I’ve been trying to tell you, Elle…I needed to see you again. Needed it. It’s more than a wanting. It’s…it’s difficult to explain.”
I look into his eyes, hoping to read something in his gaze. Trying to somehow see if this is a sort of trap or if I can trust him, even though I’m not about to trust him anywhere near my heart.
He stares at me for a moment. “I’ve missed you.” There’s something in his gaze—something I can’t quite read. Almost like a longing. Almost like what I’ve felt when I’ve allowed myself to think about him these past few months.
I nod. “I’ve missed you, too, Leo. I have. It’s just…”
“I know. This is difficult. This…” He waves his free hand. “It really doesn’t have to be difficult, you know.”
Something pulses between us again, and heat races up my arm as he lifts my hand to his lips.
He kisses each of my fingers, his gaze never leaving mine. Then he turns my hand over and kisses my wrist. “I need to kiss you, Elle. I need to feel you in my arms. I need…I need you.”
“You don’t…you don’t need me, Leo. I mean, you can have any woman you want—”
“And I want you.” He presses another kiss to the inside of my wrist. “And I think you want me, too.” He kisses me there again, his lips lingering for far too long. “I think by the way your pulse is racing, you may need me as much as I need you.”
I can’t deny how my heart is thudding in my ears at his touch. At his words. That the fluttering in my chest is making it a little hard to breathe. Making it even warmer in here than it should be. Making parts of me wake up again for the first time in months. Making me want to be with him one last time.
But only to get him out of my system.
I can do this. I can give in to my passion for him for one last night. One fling—one night. No strings. No attachments.
“Please, Elle.” He clasps his other hand around mine. “Let me take you somewhere. Anywhere of your choosing. Anywhere in the world—”
“We can go back to my dorm room.” The words almost fall out of my mouth without me realizing I’ve said them. “I mean, we’ll have to be quiet, but—”
“We wouldn’t need to be quiet on my jet. And I could take you to any of the finest resorts in the world—”
“No.” I shake my head, pulling my hand from his before I let him take me right here at the table. “We’ll go back to my room. And it will be one time, Leo. One time—”
He grins. “Surely we’re capable of more than one time, Elle. As I recall from my visit to your home—”
“One time. To get it out of our systems.” I nod. “If we go into it knowing it’s the last time—the only time—no one has to get hurt. We both go into it with the understanding that it means nothing—”
“Elle.” He grins, standing up before he pulls out his wallet and tosses a few bills onto the table. “I will agree to your stipulations. To get it out of our systems. But I think we both know neither of us will be satisfied with only one time. We also both know there is no way it will mean nothing. It means far more to me than you can imagine.”
“Leo…” I want to argue, but I know he’s right. He’s like an addiction—one I wish I knew how to kick. But if I go into it knowing it’s only going to be one time…
Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I can give him tonight. But that’s it. One night.
I take his elbow and let him lead me out the door.
We walk back in the direction of my dorm before he speaks. “You won’t regret this, Elle.”
“I have a feeling I’m going to regret this for the rest of my life, Leo. But…” My voice trails off.
“But?” He turns and grins down at me.
“But, I think I’ll regret not ending it like this even more.”
He nods, his smile falling only a little. “It’s my intention to not have you regret a thing, Elle.”
“I know. You said.” My heart is still racing in my chest as we near the dorm, but it seems like it’s for a very different reason than lust this time.
He seems to sense my fear and he drapes his arm around my shoulders. “Have I told you how beautiful you look in that dress?”
“Leo…” I stop on the sidewalk, turning to him. “This is a terrible idea. For both of us.”
He shakes his head. “The only terrible idea is not seeing this through to its logical conclusion.”
I n
od—he’s right. The logical conclusion is he’s going to be leaving. I might as well enjoy him—and what he can give me—before he does.
One night. I sort of hate how I have to keep reminding myself of that, but I do it again. One night.
We get back to my dorm a few minutes later. He glances around my room before he turns back to me. “This is where you’ve lived since you moved here?”
I nod. “Yes, and try to keep your voice down. I wasn’t kidding about the thin walls.” The television from the room next to mine is already blaring—there’s not even a small semblance of privacy in this place other than the walls that do little more than keep people from being able to see each other.
He takes a step toward me. “I can be very quiet, Elle. You on the other hand…”
I narrow my gaze. “Yes, as you’ve been reminding me.” I glance around my room in a panic. The bed is small—very narrow, even for a twin bed and the thing creaks every time I turn over on it.
The floor. The floor would be far better.
I pull the blanket from the bed and smooth it on the floor. We may as well get this over with—it’s not like I need him to woo me. I invited him here to get him out of my system, so I’m not sure why I feel the need to be so embarrassed about it now.
I still have my back to him when I pull off my dress.
“Elle.” He steps to me, touching my shoulder. “I… It doesn’t have to be like this.”
Tears well in my eyes as I realize what I’m doing. Again. I somehow find my voice. “I need it to be over, Leo. I can’t…I can’t let myself be hurt again.”
His hand slides down my bare arm and he takes my hand in his as he presses his lips to my shoulder. “Hurting you is not something I want to do.”
“But—”
“No buts, Elle. I want nothing more than to show you how much you mean to me. How much the time we’ve spent together has changed me.”
“Leo…” My eyes flutter closed as his lips move across my shoulder to my neck.
“Let me show you what you mean to me, Elle. And if you still don’t believe me, I’ll leave if you ask. But if you should change your mind…” He brings his other hand to my bare shoulder, pressing his lips against my neck until I arch against him.
