by Ember Casey
“Your Highness?” comes Matthias’s voice behind me. “Are you ready to leave?”
“I’ll be right there,” I tell him. I reach up and place my hand over Elle’s on my cheek. Gently, I squeeze her fingers before releasing her and turning to follow Matthias toward the pilot’s cabin.
“Captain Smythe needs to know where we’ll be headed,” Matthias says when I reach him. “Did I overhear correctly that we’ll be returning to Arizona?”
I start to reply in the affirmative, but the words freeze on my tongue.
She said she loved me. I know she did. I didn’t imagine that. But for some reason she still can’t bring herself to believe we should be together. Somehow she’s still afraid to take that next step.
I have to show her. I must make her see the truth.
And there’s only one way to do that.
“No, we won’t be returning to Arizona,” I say. “Tell Captain Smythe we’ll be leaving for Montovia. Immediately.”
Elle
I can’t believe I let myself say those words. The last time I told a man I loved him, it blew up in my face. Quite literally—especially when his wife found out about it. And I didn’t mean it when I said it to Leo in the bathroom at that fancy restaurant—I couldn’t have. I barely know Leo. And he barely knows me. I certainly don’t love him. It’s impossible to feel that way about someone after knowing him for so short a time.
And Leo hasn’t mentioned those words since we both said them. Thank God. I’m sure he’s as mortified by the inadvertent declaration as I am—maybe even more than I am.
He takes the seat next to mine, pulling my hand into his without a word as the plane takes off.
Once we’re in the air, I excuse myself to change into the pajamas he has for me and when I come out, Leo has changed into his pajamas, too. It’s a long enough flight for us both to sleep—and maybe to be able to pretend we never said those words. And perhaps if I don’t bring it up, neither will Leo. And we can both go back to our normal lives as soon as this flight is over.
I don’t get into the bed, though. Instead, I take a seat and close my eyes, trying to ignore how I can feel Leo’s eyes on me, even though he hasn’t said a thing and hasn’t touched me since we got on the plane. I need to sleep off the alcohol I’ve had tonight so I’ll be okay to drive in the morning. And I still need to pack when I get back and load my car. And I’ll need to get gas before I leave—
Leo’s fingers trailing over the skin of my upper arm snaps me to attention. He’s giving me that look—the one that is unquestionably his desire to have sex again.
I grab him by the wrist. “Leo, I think we can both agree we’ve worked each other out of our systems.” God, I’m a terrible liar. I could let him take me again right now and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’m not sure it will ever be enough, which is why it’s better to call it good now. Any more of this—any more accidental declarations of love—and my heart is sure to get involved. And I’m not about to let him break my heart again.
“Elle…” His fingers trail across my cheek and into my hair. “I will never have you out of my system. I love you.” He pulls my hand into his, and his voice drops to a whisper. “I love you. I will never tire of saying those words to you.”
My heart feels like it’s going to pound out of my chest and I’m pretty sure my eyes have gone as wide as saucers.
He loves me? We’re not in the throes of having sex against a wall right now. We’re not in the throes of anything. And he…loves me?
No. It isn’t possible.
“Leo…” I take his hand in mine and force a smile. “What we said—”
“You said you love me.” He grins. “And I love you. And I’m looking forward to saying it many times to you each day for the rest of my life. Because I’ve never been so sure of anything, Elle. I love you. And you love me—you said so yourself.”
“Um, I said that in the heat of passion. So did you. I think we’re both mature enough to know neither of us meant it—”
“On the contrary. I did mean it.” His brow furrows. “And so did you.”
“I…” Fuck. How the hell do I get out of this one? “I’m sure you’ve said it before during sex, Leo. It’s… I’m really okay. It didn’t mean anything. I know it didn’t—”
“It did mean something, though. I’m not sure why you’re so resistant to believing I’m capable of loving you.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, Leo…” Another lie. I don’t really believe it. “I’m just worried—”
“But I never worry, Elle. Even when things are at their bleakest, I refuse to concern myself with events that have yet to happen. It is far better to allow yourself to imagine the future will hold wonderful things instead of always assuming the worst will happen. You might find your anxiety about what might happen would lessen if you were to adopt a similar attitude.”
My eyebrows rise. “That is not how I operate, though. I get paid to worry about outcomes, Leo. It’s in my blood.”
His hand tightens over mine. “But even as a physician, you have no way of predicting the future. No way to know the certainty of an outcome for anything. Why worry about something that might happen? It seems a waste of energy to me.”
“I wish I could…not worry so much.” What he’s saying makes sense—he’s said similar things to me before. It’s just hard not to run through all the different scenarios in my mind. To try to think of all the possible outcomes—the most likely results.
“Then don’t.” He shrugs, giving me another of his smiles. “You can make the choice to be with me, can you not? Spend the rest of the weekend with me, Elle. Can you not allow me the pleasure of your company for a few more days? So you might make an informed decision about our future?”
“Our…future?” A wave of heat takes over my body and it’s suddenly difficult to breathe.
He sees a future together. It’s not something I’ve ever heard from a man. I’ve privately planned my future with plenty of guys I’ve dated, but none of them have ever reciprocated. Certainly, none of them have ever initiated.
His expression softens and he smiles at me again. He traces circles on the back of my hand, but his gaze never leaves mine.
“Yes, Elle. Our future. You didn’t think I told you I love you for any reason other than that, did you?”
“I…I don’t know.” My voice is ragged, stammering. “I suppose I thought there was an ulterior motive—”
“What sort of other motive would I have for telling you…?” His voice trails off and the smile falls from his face. “Elle, you can’t possibly believe I would say that to you—that I would say those words to anyone—for the purposes of having sex. We were already having sex…” He shakes his head. “It was not an accidental utterance, Elle.”
My cheeks begin to burn again. “In my experience…” My words are slow—I don’t want to hurt him with anything I say. I’m feeling extremely exposed and vulnerable myself.
I let out a long breath. “In my very limited experience, Leo, men say those words when they want something. But like I said, I have very little experience—”
He interrupts with a shake of his head. “Elle, I’ve already told you that I’ve told no other woman I love her. I might be reckless and impulsive on occasion, but I assure—I promise you—I am not being either of those things in this case. I mean every word I say—and what I’ve said to you tonight is the only explanation for what I’m feeling. I love you. And you may not believe it, but you should believe this…”
He squeezes my hand again and his gaze bores into mine. “I don’t know what the future holds. But I know I want to hold you for the rest of my future.”
Tears form in my eyes at his words and I force myself to blink them back—I’m still not sure how any of this is real. It almost seems too good to be true—and I know all too well about things that seem too good to be true.
“Leo…” I’m feeling so many different things, I’m not really sure what any of the
m are. Some mix of desperation and hope and uncertainty and something else that’s making my heart beat too hard and making my insides both warm and cold at the same time. “It’s too much—too soon. I’m not going to deny we have chemistry. We’ve always had chemistry—”
“Elle, you’re afraid. And I understand that better than anyone, as it’s only been recently I’ve come to accept my own feelings on this matter. The truth is, I ran from you at first because I was also afraid. I was fearful that you were with me for the wrong reasons, yes, but I was also terrified by the depth of my emotions.” He frowns. “These are not things that are easy for me to say out loud, I hope you realize.”
I nod. I do know that it’s difficult to talk about this stuff. That these are the kinds of things that make most men run for the hills. And he did run—I don’t really want to let myself forget about that. I handled that whole California situation badly, but the sad truth is that he did run. But fear… Fear is something I’m all too familiar with. It’s something that has defined me in too many ways. And I don’t want to run from this, even though I know it’s going to kill me when he ends it this time.
“Leo—”
“I can’t promise any certain future, Elle.” He seems to be reading my thoughts. “I can only tell you how I feel right now—how I’ve felt since the moment I met you. The only certainty I can share is that I cannot imagine my life without you in it.”
I want to tell him I feel the same, but I’ve spent the past three months trying to get over him, not fantasizing about our future together.
I try to choose my words carefully again—I know he’s being very open with his feelings, and I can’t imagine how much of a risk this is for someone like him. “Leo, you say you don’t worry about the future, but you must have some idea of how you wanted me to respond to this—”
“On the contrary, Elle.” He gives me a small smile. “This was not a conversation I envisioned us having at all. I merely imagined telling you how much I care for you at some point during this weekend. I’d had no intention of revealing this much so soon. And I understand this is a lot for you to accept right now—that I’ve reappeared in your life very suddenly and am now professing my love for you. But I see no other way at this juncture than to be honest with you. I hope you can do the same for me.”
He looks at me expectantly, but I don’t know what to say. I’m still not entirely sure what it is I’m feeling right now other than complete overwhelm.
I stare down at our clasped hands, trying to think of the right words to say to him. And I realize only a moment later that I need to be as honest with him as he’s being with me.
I finally look up at him after a long moment. “Leo, you hurt me—”
The look in his eyes softens and he tilts his head. “I know, and you have no idea—”
“Let me finish.” I draw in a long breath. “You hurt me, but I know I hurt you, too. And I can’t deny that I have feelings for you and have since I met you.”
The smile finally returns to his face, and he looks almost relieved. “That is much more than I expected, Elle. And more than enough for this moment.”
I’m silent, allowing myself to think about a possible future for the briefest moment. But then I remember how his brother treated me, which seems to be the most likely way the rest of his family will. “Your family, though, Leo. They—”
His cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. “Why would you be bringing up my family, Elle? What point—?”
“Andrew hated me when he met me in Rio de Campo. If you really see a future for us—”
A line appears between his brows and he frowns. “I would hope you wouldn’t judge me based on the actions of my family, Elle. I would never judge you based on the actions of your brother.”
I lift a brow and look at him for a long moment. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean, Leo?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head and turns to the table next to him, picking up a bottle of amber liquid before pouring himself a glass. He tips it to his lips to cover up whatever it was he was trying to say.
I pull my hand away from his. “You said your investigators weren’t able to find anything—”
“I said they were unable to find anything about you, Elle.”
My heart speeds up a little. “That’s…good. I guess.” My words are slow. Careful. What he’s insinuating is impossible, of course. If he found nothing about me, then he would find nothing about Owen—this has to be a trap.
He says nothing, just gazes at me with that same expectant look.
“You know, Leo, if you want to know something, you could ask me. You don’t have to go around hiring private investigators and you definitely don’t need to try to get me to say something accidentally. I know I have a bad habit of running off at the mouth when I get worked up about stuff—”
He holds up both hands, almost like he’s surrendering. “I meant nothing by my remark, Elle. Only that I hope you don’t judge me by my family’s actions. Just as you would not want to be judged by what your brother does.”
I stare at him for another moment, trying to read what he has going on behind his eyes, but he’s doing a damn good job of covering it up.
“Leo…” I let out a long breath. “You need to know—”
“I’ve prayed you would tell me, Elle. That I would hear the truth from you and not from some investigator—”
“Let me finish, please.” I frown. “What I was going to say is that the difference between me now and me three months ago is that I am not going to sleep with you to keep you from asking questions.”
He lifts a brow. “I see.”
“I’m simply going to ask you to stop asking questions I don’t want to answer. Okay?”
He nods. “Fair enough. We have the rest of our lives for you to reveal your secrets to me, Elle.”
I frown again. “You already know my secrets, Leo. And the one you’re so curious about isn’t mine to tell. If you really do love me the way you say you do—”
“I do.” He grins again. “I absolutely do.”
I nod. “And if you really have never said those words before—”
“Elle, I can assure you I have never told any woman I loved her before tonight.” He looks at me for a long moment. “No woman outside my family. And certainly not while I was making love to a woman.”
Making. Love. He said it again, just like he did last night.
“I don’t regret saying those words, Elle. And I’m ecstatic you returned them as you did. Even if you did say them in the throes of passion.” The sly grin returns to his lips. “Because I intend to have you in the throes of passion many more times before this night is over—”
“Pardon me, Your Highness,” Matthias interrupts. “But you asked to be notified when we were over international waters, and Captain Smythe advises me—”
“Thank you, Matthias.” There’s something almost panicked in Leo’s voice. “I don’t believe I asked you for that information, however—”
“Ah, perhaps I imagined it.” Matthias’s gaze is fixed on me. “But perhaps Doctor Parker would also like to be advised of the news.”
“Thank you, Matthias.” I smile, nodding at the man.
He nods again, almost giving me a bow as he walks back to the front of the plane.
It takes a few seconds for what he’s said to sink into my consciousness.
International. Waters.
I stand up, throwing Leo’s hands away from me. “What did he mean by international waters, Leo? There are no international waters between New York and Arizona.” My heart is racing and I look around the cabin in a panic.
Leo stands up next to me. “Elle—”
“Where are we? Where are you taking me?” My heart is thrashing so hard I’m almost dizzy. “You…you kidnapped me?”
“We are going to my home. To Montovia. And I would hardly call it kidnapping, Elle. I merely—”
“You told me we were going back to Arizona. You said—”
“No.” He takes a hesitant step toward me. “No, I never said that.”
“You…you kidnapped me. Leo—my God. You kidnapped me.” My voice is cracking and tears well in my eyes.
I should have known this was too good to be true. And now I’m trapped over God-knows-where, being taken against my will—
“Elle, I knew you wouldn’t agree to come with me. I…I knew you would say you didn’t deserve it. I wanted you to know how worthy you are of this…of everything I have. It’s as I told you before—”
Something about what he’s saying makes the terror subside a bit. But only a bit. “I’m… I…” My voice is still sputtering, and I can’t seem to find my breath.
He touches the top of my arm. “Elle. I promise you I meant nothing criminal in my actions. I merely wanted to show you and I thought it would be better if I surprised you. I knew you would argue, try to change my mind.”
“Refused. I would have refused.”
He nods, his eyes mirroring the panic I’m feeling. “I know. And that is why I thought it best to…surprise you with this trip. I swear it was only because I didn’t believe you would agree—”
“Because I wouldn’t have.” My breaths are coming a little easier now and the panic is starting to subside. “But I’m out of the country without a passport. And whether you believe it or not, that is a crime. And I’m not about to go to jail for you, even though we’d probably be locked in a cell next to each other after you’re arrested for kidnapping me.” I lift a brow, suddenly seeing some of the humor in the situation. “And believe me, if I’m going to jail, you are going to suffer—”
He grins, patting his pocket before he pulls a passport out and hands it to me. “Unfortunately, your plan is unlikely to work as I have diplomatic immunity in matters such as these.” A small smile comes to his lips. “I do hope you’ll forgive me, though…” His face flushes red. “I found this while you were in the washroom—before we left your delightful abode in Arizona.”
