by Robin Wells
“He gave you the cold shoulder?”
“Not cold, exactly. More like distant. And polite.” Frustration surged through Rachel’s chest. “Unbelievably polite—as if I were a little old lady or something. He did everything but bow and call me ma’am. He was so darned polite, I felt like slapping him.”
Patricia chortled. “Sounds like he’s keeping a tight rein on himself around you.”
“Well, he might be polite, but he sure doesn’t see you as a little old lady,” Olivia said. She grinned at Patricia. “Rachel and Nick met with Lucas and me this morning to discuss the legalities of their new audit guidelines, and Nick couldn’t keep his eyes off Rachel. He was so absorbed in staring at her that Lucas had to repeat the same question three times.”
Patricia wagged her eyebrows mischievously. “Sounds like you’re doing something right.”
Rachel grinned ruefully. “He might be staring, but he’s acting so distant, he probably needs binoculars to do it.”
Patricia rubbed her hands together in glee. “This is perfect! You want to make him uncomfortable around you.”
“I do?”
“Sure. The more miserable he is, the more motivated he’ll be to change.”
Rachel took a sip of her soda. “Yeah, well, I hope his idea of change doesn’t include a transfer to the far side of the world. He tends to seek geographic cures to romantic problems.”
“But he can’t,” Patricia pointed out. “Not if he doesn’t want to accept a demotion. Now that he’s in charge of all of the corporation’s accounting operations, there’s no higher position to transfer to.”
“That’s right, Rachel,” Olivia agreed. “You’ve got him roped in.”
“Not yet, but I’m working on it.” Rachel grinned. “I hope to complete the job in two weeks in St. John.”
“How are the scuba lessons going?” Olivia asked.
“Great. I’m scheduled to take my open water tests this weekend.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s where I finally go scuba diving in something besides a swimming pool. I’m going to Cancún with my class.”
“Cancún?” Olivia sighed dreamily. “Wow!”
Nick walked into the room at that very moment. He paused in the doorway as he caught sight of Rachel, then proceeded in. Olivia nudged Patricia.
Nick smiled at the table of women. “Did I hear Olivia say you’re going to Cancún, Patricia?” Nick asked.
“Not me. Rachel.”
Nick glanced at Rachel, his eyes full of surprise. He abruptly looked away.
“Seems like I remember reading on your résumé that you once worked in Cancún,” Patricia said chattily.
Nick stiffly nodded and headed to the soda machine. “I helped open the Barrington Resort there.”
“Well, then, maybe you can give Rachel some pointers on what sights to see and what restaurants to try.”
Rachel kicked her friend under the table, trying to get her to quit baiting him. Nick pushed his coins into the machine, then turned and looked at her, the flat line of his mouth showing clear displeasure. “I didn’t know you were going to Mexico. Kind of sudden, isn’t it?”
“Not really.”
“Oh, I see. It’s just something you deliberately chose not to mention.”
The remark hung in the air, biting and personal.
“I didn’t know that you’d be interested.”
Nick pushed the button on the machine harder than necessary. “It’s standard procedure to put in a request for vacation time two weeks in advance.”
“Oh, I’m not taking any time off,” Rachel said quickly. “I’ll leave Friday after work and come back Sunday evening.”
Olivia shot Patricia a pointed look. “Speaking of time, it’s time for us to get back to work.”
“But I’ve got five more minutes of break time left,” Patricia protested, clearly reluctant to leave just when things were getting interesting.
Casting a meaningful glance at Patricia, Olivia rose. “I need to talk to you about that vacant secretarial position in the legal department.” She jerked her head toward the door. “Come on. You don’t want to leave a pregnant woman without adequate support staff, do you?”
“Okay, okay,” Patricia mumbled, reluctantly getting to her feet.
The two women left the room, leaving Rachel alone with Nick.
“This trip is a little out of character, don’t you think?” he said in a curt tone.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean it’s unlike you, traipsing off to a place like Cancún all by yourself.” The overly polite tone he’d used all week was gone, replaced by an irritated growl.
Rachel lifted her chin. “Who said I was going alone?”
A nerve flexed in Nick’s jaw. “I see.”
“No, you don’t see.” Weeks of pent-up frustration tightened Rachel’s chest. Placing her hands on the table, she pushed back her chair and rose to face him. “There are a lot of things about me you don’t see at all. What you think is out-of-character behavior might just be a side of me you haven’t seen before. Believe it or not, I’m capable of growing and changing.” She regarded him hotly. “Unlike some people I know.”
“Well, I don’t like the changes you’ve been making recently.”
“You don’t even know what those changes are. What you don’t like, Nick Delaney, is your reaction to what you think they are.” Rachel snatched up her can of cola. “Maybe you should ask yourself why it bothers you so much.” Turning on her heel, she abruptly marched out of the room.
There was no use trying to talk sense into Nick, no point in trying to convince him that despite his convictions to the contrary, he was more than capable of long-term commitment—that he had, in fact, been committed to her for two years.
He had to discover it for himself. She hoped to high heavens that he’d do so on their trip to St. John. She’d do her best to push him along, but she was more than a little afraid that Nick’s resistance to permanence might be the most permanent thing about him.
“You made it just in time,” the smiling blond flight attendant said two weeks later as Nick stepped aboard the plane to St. John with Jenny in his arms. “I was getting ready to close the door.”
“It took longer to get a baby packed and to the airport than I figured it would.” Not to mention the time required to deal with a diaper emergency, race back to the house to retrieve a forgotten pacifier and change both their clothes after Jenny dumped a bottle of purple grape juice all over them both.
The flight attendant smiled at Jenny. “Were you giving your daddy a hard time this morning?”
Daddy. It was funny how the word no longer bothered him. In fact, the sound of it sent an unaccustomed burst of pride rushing through him.
The flight attendant reached forward to touch the baby’s white-blond curls, causing the child to shyly bury her face against Nick’s shoulder. “She’s adorable,” the woman said.
“Thanks.” Clutching the baby in his arms, Nick maneuvered his way up the narrow aisle, trying to keep from bumping the aisle-seated passengers with the diaper bag that dangled from one shoulder and the laptop computer case that hung from the other.
“Nick—Jenny!”
Nick’s pulse raced at the sound of the familiar voice, and Jenny let out a gurgle of glee.
He looked up. Sure enough, there was Rachel, sitting next to his reserved seat. His heart lurched joyfully in his chest. Dadblast it, he thought stubbornly, trying hard to squelch the reaction. He’d booked this flight just to avoid her.
“I thought you were taking the earlier flight with the rest of the corporate staff.”
“I planned to, but I need to review the presentation with you, and you didn’t have time to meet with me at the office. So I asked the corporate travel planner to book me on your flight so we could discuss it on the way.”
Great, just great. He’d managed to avoid her for the past two weeks, but as a result, he was now stuck
beside her for a four-hour flight.
He sighed and slipped the diaper bag off his shoulder. He couldn’t really blame her, he thought guiltily; by avoiding her, he’d made it hard for her to do her job. All the same, he wished he could blame her for something. He wanted to find some fault that would break the spell she had on him, the spell that caused this tight, tender achiness in his chest whenever he thought about her.
And it seemed he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her, and her blasted trip to Cancún. It had been hovering in his mind like a pesky mosquito ever since he’d learned about it.
Not that he wanted to know anything about it. He didn’t. He didn’t want to know what she’d done or where she’d eaten or what sights she’d seen.
Most of all, he didn’t want to know who she’d gone with.
The very thought made his stomach churn. She’d returned on Monday all tanned and smiling, and he couldn’t help but imagine all the things she might be smiling about. It ate at his insides like battery acid. Especially at night, when he lay in that big, draped bed, the bed where he’d held her and kissed her and could have made her his for all time.
Jenny grunted and held out her arms toward Rachel. “I’ll hold her while you put away your bags,” Rachel said.
Nick released the baby, then stashed his computer in the overhead bin and reluctantly settled into the seat next to Rachel The exotic scent of her new perfume filled his nostrils, making him wonder again who she’d bought it to impress.
“Where’s Mrs. Evans?” Rachel asked. “I thought she was coming with you.”
Nick shoved the diaper bag under the seat in front of him. “She planned to, but an old friend died and she stayed behind to attend the funeral. She’ll be joining us tomorrow.”
The flight attendant at the front of the plane began her preflight spiel, and they lapsed into silence as the plane taxied to the runway.
The moment the plane was airborne. Jenny started to whimper, then burst into ear-splitting cries. Her wails were loud and desperate, and reverberated through the plane.
“Hey there, Jenny—what’s the matter?” Nick asked. He reached for the child, but she turned her head and clung to Rachel. He knew it was irrational, but the baby’s rejection stung.
“It might be her ears,” Rachel said.
Nick regarded the sobbing baby worriedly. “Dr. Jackson checked her last week and said her ear infection was all gone.”
“The change in air pressure often bothers a baby’s ears on takeoff and landing,” Rachel explained. “Do you have a bottle in her bag? It’ll help if we can get her to keep . swallowing.”
Nick retrieved the pink bag, then dug through it until he located a bottle. He pulled off the white protective cover and passed it to Rachel.
With soft murmurs, she persuaded the baby to take the bottle. After a few big gulps, Jenny burped, then gave a big, gummy grin.
Rachel smiled at Nick. “My guess is that her ears just cleared.”
Relief filled Nick’s chest. “Boy, am I glad you knew what to do. She sounded miserable.”
“A few more minutes of crying like that, and everyone on the plane would have been in the same condition.”
Nick returned Rachel’s grin, a burst of warmth easing the constriction in his chest. She always seemed to know what to do. Despite the tension between them, something about her gave him a sense of comfort and he couldn’t help but be glad she was here.
Jenny seemed to feel it, too. The baby was grinning up at Rachel, a look of adoration on her cherubic face. “Ma-ma.”
Nick’s breath froze in his throat. “Did—did she just say something?”
As if to answer, Jenny reached up a tiny hand to Rachel’s face. “Ma-ma,” she repeated.
“She just called you Mama,” Nick said.
Rachel gazed at the baby, her face glowing. She glanced at Nick, her eyes filled with amazed joy.
Nick realized his brow was pulled in a hard frown, the corners of his mouth stretched in displeasure. He knew it was irrational, knew it wasn’t Rachel’s fault that the baby was so attached to her. It probably wasn’t even her fault that he was so attached to her.
But this had to stop. It was one thing for him to play with fire, but it was quite another to expose Jenny to it. The child had recently lost her parents. She didn’t need her heart broken all over again.
He knew with sudden clarity what he had to do. He had to keep Rachel out of Jenny’s life. He couldn’t afford to let the child grow any more emotionally attached to her.
He couldn’t afford to grow any more emotionally attached to her, either. He needed to sever all personal ties with Rachel, completely, thoroughly, once and for all. It was imperative that he treat her as a co-worker and nothing more. If it proved impossible, he’d have to take drastic action.
He might as well start now. “What did you need to discuss about your presentation?” he asked curtly.
“Oh, that can wait until later. I’m sure Jenny will take a nap soon.”
“If she does, I’ll need to use that time to review my own notes.” Nick kept his voice impersonal and businesslike. “Let’s go ahead and get down to business.”
Hurt. The emotion flickered across Rachel’s face. He could see it in her parted lips, her furrowed brow, but most of all, in her pained blue eyes. She rapidly composed her features, but hurt continued to shadow her eyes.
“Then you’d better take Jenny so I can reach my briefcase,” she said softly, handing him the child.
She knew, he thought guiltily. She knew he didn’t like Jenny calling her Mama, knew he was deliberately distancing himself from her. The realization sent a surge of grief flowing through him, making the cold, empty spot in his chest grow wider.
She bent to retrieve her briefcase from under the seat, and he forced his eyes away. He didn’t want to see the slender column of her spine or the way her hair spilled forward around her face or the way it parted to reveal the white, tender skin at the nape of her neck. He didn’t want to remember all the things about her that prowled through his dreams at night and haunted his waking hours. He didn’t want to feel all the things she stirred inside him.
It would end, sooner or later. Good things always did. And the better something was, the more you missed it when it was gone. It was better to completely end it now.
He leaned his head back against the headrest and blew out a deep sigh. He had thought he was over Rachel, had thought he could deal with working with her again, but he’d been wrong. If he couldn’t control the situation, he’d have no choice but to leave again.
Leaving wouldn’t be so simple now that he was a vice president, he thought grimly. Most likely he’d have to find a position with another firm.
He’d give it one last chance. From now on, he’d do his absolute best to keep his relationship with Rachel all business, strictly business and nothing but business. If he found that he couldn’t, he’d have to make some serious changes. For Jenny’s sake, as well as Rachel’s.
Not to mention his own.
Rachel walked down the winding path from the resort’s main building to the marina two days later, staring pensively at the ground. The pathway was lined with giant palms, brilliant bougainvillea, pink azaleas and other tropical plants she couldn’t name, but she was too worried to appreciate the beauty of her surroundings.
She’d pinned her whole future on this trip, and things weren’t going as she hoped. She hadn’t managed to break through Nick’s wall of reserve at all, she thought with disgust. She’d only succeeded in driving him to build it taller and thicker than ever.
Not that he was rude. She almost wished he was, because then, at least, she’d be getting a reaction out of him. Instead, he was once again being impeccably polite.
Impeccably polite and virtually invisible, she thought glumly, following the path around a bend. He pulled more disappearing acts than Houdini. She seldom saw him outside of business meetings, and when she did, he made sure he was surrounded by plenty of ot
her people.
Instead of closing the distance between them as she’d hoped, the trip had only widened it, and she knew exactly when it had happened: on the plane, when Jenny called her Mama. It had terrified him.
It had terrified her, too, even though it had melted her heart into a puddle. She would love nothing more than to actually be the child’s mother, but she wasn’t. And the way Nick was acting, chances were slim she ever would be. She bit her lip, blinking back the tears that threatened her eyes.
Things couldn’t continue as they were. Nick either had to make a commitment to her, or she had to stay out of the child’s life. She couldn’t allow the child to get any more attached to her.
The scuba trip today was her last chance. To make sure she made the most of it, she’d visited the marina yesterday and enlisted the help of the dive boat operator, Harry, tipping him copiously to make sure she was paired with Nick on the dive.
Harry waved at her now as she approached the small building at the end of the path. “Great day for a dive!” he called in a lilting Caribbean accent. He hoisted a scuba tank on his shoulder and grinned broadly, flashing large, white teeth. “Perfect day to go fishin’, too.” He winked one brown eye. “Yessirree. Jus’ the kind of day to catch a really big one.”
Chuckling to himself, Harry carried the tank on board a boat tethered at the end of the dock and slipped it into a slot on a metal rack. Rachel blushed in embarrassment. She’d tried not to give away the reason she wanted to be paired with Nick, but Harry had immediately guessed that a romantic motive was behind the odd request.
“Don’t worry, miss,” Harry had assured her. “I’ll make sure you and your young man are buddied up. I’ll try to give you two some privacy underwater, too.”
The quiet hum of an electric cart, the resort’s standard means of transportation, sounded on the path behind her. Her heart pounding, she turned around to see Nick and four resort controllers who had attended the conference climb out as soon as it slid to a halt.
