by Nolan Oreno
“It wasn’t him that brought me there. I brought myself. It was my choice."
“No, it was both of your choices. He’s just as responsible as you."
“I hate you," Autumn burst out. “I fucking hate you."
Saul’s face remained detached. “You can hate me as long as you do your only job and give birth to my child."
Saul calmly exited just as he had entered, but before he did, he made a point to say one last thing. “And if you’re still wondering, no, it didn’t work. The valley is still as barren as the rest of this planet, so you might want to get your head out of the clouds, as they say, and become a functional member of our society again."
The door locked behind him.
After hours of angry outbursts, Autumn was able to steady her mind to think. Something valuable was learned during that exchange, and she would have overlooked it if she had let her frustration get the better of her. One thing, in particular, stood out to her: How did Saul know about the note? Jackie’s hand was balled into a fist and there was no way he could have seen the tiny squared paper at that moment. So how did he know? Furthermore, how did he know that Jackie was there in the first place, arriving just in time to stop their plan from being carried out? Saul rarely came to check on her that early in the morning, and the likelihood that Oscar went to him rather than the medical unit was slim seeing how he would be more concerned about the baby’s health than anything. So Autumn asked herself again, how did Saul know?
He’ll find out. He always does.
The answer lifted from the shadows of her consciousness and settled right before her eyes. The surveillance cameras. She counted two in her cabin that covered the entire area. Everyone had assumed they remained deactivated after the Commander's death when access to the Command Center was lost, but that might have changed. If Saul was using the surveillance system in the Hub then a lot of things would begin to make sense. He was not all-knowing as he led everyone else to believe. He was just a liar. What other things had he been lying about? If Autumn meant to get to the bottom of this, she would need to tread more lightly from now on.
But why? Why be careful? Was she scared of him, like everyone else? Or, was she the last person unafraid, and the only person who could stop the last colony of man from becoming a planetwide prison. No more deaths, and no more prisoners. She had said this herself, out loud and to his face, and she believed every word. So why not act on it, just as Hollis had? Saul would never hurt her because she was carrying his child. This meant she had a two week period before her conception to expose the extent of Saul’s lies and free Hollis and herself in doing so. It was an advantage that no other could utilize. With this advantage, Autumn might be able to return peace and unity to the colony. So she needed to do something, something real this time.
And so she did.
Part Twenty-One: Perennials
Static.
That was what the screen showed him. Saul was not accustomed to being partially blinded, normally having a perspective of every corner of the Hub, and he was certain he did not like the sensation it gave him. Was it weakness that he felt? His late night explorations of the facility through the eyes of the deactivated security cameras had given him unrivaled power and the ability of foresight. Whatever the colonists were doing, or were about to do, was known to him at all times, and because of this, it was a necessary element in retaining control and order.
“You bitch," he whispered to himself.
The broken camera feed was conveniently located in the cabin of the hysterical Autumn Florentine. This would force Saul to leave the comfort of his throne in the Command Center and investigate the disturbance in person. He half expected another attempt from her to win Hollis’ freedom, and this made him hesitant to go to her in the first place. Only Saul knew the impossibility of her request. Hollis could never leave the garden, and even if Saul had somehow managed to feel any slight flicker of empathy for the man, he still would not be able to let him free. Hollis knew the truth of what happened and was brave enough to stand by it. Luckily, Saul’s most recent visit to the garden frightened Hollis enough so that he would not try to communicate with Autumn again, or any of the others, for a long time to come, but eventually a more dramatic method would need to be implemented. Until then, Saul needed to be certain that Autumn would abide by the same logic and stay away from Hollis and his failed dream of terraformation.
Saul checked the time. 02:19 am. All the others were sleeping soundly in their cabins, and he should probably soon consider the same since they had a big day tomorrow installing the oxygen collectors in the settlement. He would make this trip to Autumn quick and painless, putting an end to any games she was attempting to play.
When he arrived to Autumn’s door he found it unlocked and wide open.
“No."
A quick search in the room showed no signs of her, only the fragments of the broken surveillance cameras scattered along the floor. Saul thought about yelling her name but knew that it was hopeless. Wherever she was, and wherever she was going, would likely be some place far away from him. But he was not worried. He would find her.
Saul steadily paced back to the Command Center hoping he might catch her on one of the cameras before she escaped the Hub. She could not have gotten very far. After the Commanders code was inputted, the door glided open again and revealed a shadow standing in the low-lit chamber. To his surprise, it was Autumn, waiting in the middle of the Commander Center and outlined by the green glow of the dozens of monitors behind her.
In his illusions of invincibility, Saul had forgotten to relock the door behind him. He did exactly as she expected.
“Autumn-" Saul let out.
She turned in circles in the space so she would not miss anything. “You’ve been watching us. Lying to us," she said.
“Listen-"
“No, you listen," Autumn turned to face him. “For once, I want you to be the one listening. You said the surveillance system couldn’t be reactivated after the Commander's death because he had the only keycode, that it was a failsafe lock, and we believed you. You son of a bitch, Saul, you lied. You’ve been spying on us all this time and for what purpose? Why do you always need to be in control over us?"
“It’s not about control, it’s about precaution," Saul said.
“Precaution?" said Autumn as she paced along the control panels and screens that peered into the bedrooms of the sleeping colonists. “How is watching us sleep about precaution? You’re invading our privacy and our right to personal space, and when the others hear about this, things will start changing around here. You’ve gone too far."
“No, I haven’t gone far enough," Saul enforced. “This colony needs oversight, just like any well-functioning society. If it wasn’t for me these peacefully sleeping people you see here would be at each other's throats, so don’t lecture me on the merits of what I’ve done. You have too much faith in these people. We can never let our guards down, not even for a minute."
“These people haven’t been the ones lying and manipulating. They’re not the threat."
Saul laughed. “I’ve seen things through these cameras that you would never believe. Disgusting things. Things that would make you never look at them the same way again. I know them better than you ever could and that's precisely how I know they’re still dangerous. Each and every one of them have their dark secrets, Autumn, and each and every one of them need to be watched for that very reason."
“No," said Autumn. “We’re not your prisoners. Not anymore. This ends now."
Autumn leaped to the control panels and wildly beat at the switches, helplessly attempting to shutdown the system for good. Saul grappled at her arm, but she slipped away and continued hitting different switches along the row. Error signals flashed before the screens in bright red lettering and the video playback of the sleeping colonists flickered and glitched, assuring Autumn that whatever she was doing was working to her advantage. Camera after camera shut their eye and built a deeper dar
kness into the room as the light left them. Autumn could still see her way by the blinking of the lights on the panel, and with this light, she was guided to a particularly attractive button hidden apart from the others. She hit it, and suddenly, a great light emitted from every screen, returning some detail to the dimly lit room. It was a recorded video, replaying its copies on all the monitors, and its content stopped Autumn in her tracks.
A date and time was labeled on the upper left-hand corner: November 2, 2079 0400. It was the night before Janya was found dead in the desert.
The grainy video played, labeled SAVED[ATTEMPT8], and Autumn saw everything as Hollis told of.
Janya was in bed. There was another figure too, a large man hidden behind a blood-red ski mask, and he was on top of her. Janya looked paralyzed and disoriented beneath him. The man in the red mask was horribly violent to achieve his sexual goals. He was beating her and choking her, and the more fearful his prey became beneath him, the more he showed signs of a twisted arousal. It was a disgusting thing to witness, but Autumn could not look away, and she continued to gawk at the footage until she heard Saul moving closer to her in the shadows.
“You sick fuck," Autumn stuttered, stepping back from the video screens. She turned around but could not see Saul in the darkness. “Hollis was right. You’ll rot for this."
Saul’s voice was different now. “He was right about some things."
“You raped her. You killed her."
Autumn backed away towards the exit as Saul moved forward. Together they were rounding the room, matching movement to movement like a dance in the dark.
“No, you need to think about this clearly," Saul said. “Think clearly. Who was still alive when Janya died? Was it me in this control room, or was it someone else? Who was it, Autumn? Who had these tapes? Who had control over these videos? Tell me."
Autumn tried to make logical connections in her panicked state of mind. Her thoughts were running in all directions. “The Commander," she blurted out.
“Yes, the Commander."
“No. He couldn’t have done something like this. He wasn’t that kind of man."
“And you think I am? No, you’re right, it wasn’t the Commander, he only stood by and watched. But it wasn’t me either."
“Then who was it!" screamed Autumn, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Saul spoke slowly. “Would you believe me if I told you?"
“Tell me goddammit!"
“It was Maven."
Autumn tried to be strong, but all the emotions caught up with her. “Why do you know that? How-how do you-" she belted, fearing the worst.
“He came to me. He confessed his sins the same day Janya was found dead."
Autumn felt like she was choking on her words. “If this is true, then why didn’t you punish him? Why didn’t you do anything?! Why didn’t the Commander do anything?!" she screamed.
“Because-" Saul began, choosing the placement of his remaining words with care. “It was an awful act, but a necessary one, and both Richard and I knew this, as much as Richard tried for the longest time to believe otherwise."
“Necessary!" Autumn screamed. “How is rape and murder necessary?!"
“Maven didn’t murder Janya, she did that to herself. His actions may have driven her to that point, but he didn’t want her to die. On the contrary. He wanted her to live and bear a child, just like you are now, so that our species wouldn’t end with us. He knew what we had to do to stay alive."
“You fucking talk about it like it was the honorable thing to do! You protected him from justice while you happily condemned others for crimes that paled in comparison! What he did is repulsive and there’s no other way you can define it!"
Saul began to scream with her. “What he did wasn’t crime! What he was trying to do was more honorable than what the rest of them were doing at the time! He was trying to save his people from oblivion while the rest of you wallowed away in the dirt, crying for pity and salvation from an absent God! Maven was brave enough to take action instead of waiting for some invisible savior! He sacrificed his humanity in order to save it!"
“That’s not for you do decide, if what he did was right," Autumn cried. “This is a decision for the others to make, and I’m going to make sure they know the truth." She quickly backed towards the exit, keeping her eye on Saul as he followed her through the maze of monitors.
The silent video played on the screens all around them, growing more graphic in content as it progressed through the timeline of that horrible night, but Autumn kept her eye’s only on Saul who remained mechanical as he moved with her.
“It won’t end with Janya," Saul said. “It can’t end with Janya.”
Autumn was nearly to the exit when he made his grab for her. He pushed off one of the control consoles and reached for her shoulders, barely missing when she countered to the left. He flew into a panel, causing the screens to flicker in and out of resolution. In the brief moments of darkness, Autumn felt around for something to protect her for when Saul recovered from the fall. There was nothing but sleek surfaces and dials. Saul thrust back onto his feet and staggered back towards her.
“You fucking cunt! You won’t ruin this for me! For us!" he shrieked.
In the last second, Autumn’s hand found a well-sized rock resting on one of the countertops. She wrapped her fingers around the misplaced object, lifted it high above her head, and just before Saul was upon her, she brought it down on the top of his head. A loud clunk echoed in the chamber and then silence followed. Saul fell to his knees and then rolled onto the ground, grunting in pain as he did so.
Autumn spared no second and scurried from the Control Center. She ran into the halls and towards the hangar deck where the Crawlers awaited. The blow was not enough to kill Saul. He would be after her any minute, so warning the others was not an option. Even if she did have the time, who could she really trust? She had to escape the Hub. She had to leave the others.
Only one place remained. The last refuge of man. The garden.
The door opened, and to his surprise, it was her standing there.
“Autumn," he said.
Autumn said nothing and it was enough for Hollis to understand. She limped forward into the dense greenery with a defeated look in her eyes and stopped just before him, holding her trembling body upright the best she could. She lifted her hand and stroked the purple bruises and cuts that marked Hollis’ face. Even his thick beard could not hide the damages.
“He hurt you," she said painfully.
Hollis shamefully lowered his gaze.
“He hurt me too," she cried, and she fell forward into his awaiting arms.
What followed was out of their control. It was the accumulation of profound pain that drove them both to the brink of their emotional jurisdictions and outwards into a boundless space filled with uncertainties and ambiguities. The first step of their freedom began small, with the light touch of Autumn’s dry lips on Hollis’ bruised forehead. At this point of contact, he felt a euphoric surge lower itself through his body and settle into his core. He wanted the feeling to last, to withstand the evils that were pressing at their peripheries, so he continued it by stroking her cheek and wrapping of his arms tightly around her waist. They hugged their broken bodies closer together. He then kissed the edge of her frown, and she slowly lifted her eyes to be paralleled with his. In their sustained stare, they felt unshackled and unafraid.
“He won't hurt you again," he said confidently to her. "Not here. Not with me." And she believed him.
Their lips touched, and then their bodies, and then their souls, and they were prisoners no more.
Part Twenty-Two: The Hearth in all Hearts
“He’ll come for you."
“Let’s not think about that, not yet. We still have time."
“Time for what?"
“For this. For us."
The night had passed with passion and the last of the darkness was being washed away by the first light of a new morning. H
ollis turned himself over in the warm grass, feeling the tiny stalks prick at his bare skin, and tried to forget the past and future horror. His body still ached from the intense pain from Saul’s beating but chose to divert his attention to what was pleasurable. He looked over at Autumn’s naked body beside him then upwards through the skylight at the fading stars of the dying night. Among the countless white orbs circling the amber sky, he found the pale blue one, and he gazed upon it as he spoke.
“You know, there’s something we haven’t considered. None of us."
“What's that?" she asked.
“Up there, back on Earth, there could be survivors. Just like us, there might be some people fighting for their lives, every day. We might not be the only ones left."
Autumn rested her head on his chest, listening to the heavy beat of his heart. “If there were others, we would have heard something. Anything. Each one of us waited by the communication system for weeks, the Commander for months even, just to hear something. A response. All signals, even radio, have been quiet since that day. If someone was down there transmitting, looking for others for help, or maybe even looking for us, we would have known it by now. We would have heard them. No one could survive that kind of solar radiation. It would have penetrated miles deep into the Earth. There would be nowhere to hide."
Hollis shifted his body in the grass. “Sure, it seems unlikely, but it’s possible. Maybe they found refuge. Maybe there were parts of the Earth unaffected. What if someone’s down there looking up just like we are and wondering the exact same thing. Maybe they’re thinking they’re the last one’s standing, just like we are, but that’s not true at all." Hollis pushed himself up into a sitting position, still looking upwards at the pale blue dot in the black. “Maybe, if both of us survive long enough, us and them, then one day we’ll be reunited, and we’ll realize we were never really alone and that we always had each other."
