***
The bar was almost empty. It had been like this for quite some time now. Gray knew that they were barely making enough business to keep it open. It was just another thing that the Infernos were taking away from him. There was no live band tonight and instead music piped through speakers. A few people were at the bar and some people were lazily dancing on the floor. The atmosphere was more of a dive bar than a bike club. It made Gray sick.
Everyone was waiting for him in the corner. He could make out Rick and the others, all drinking and talking in low tones. The group had lost its zest since the Infernos had been striking out against them. Kristie being shot had reminded them how at any moment it could be one of them fighting for their own lives.
Gray sat down across from them. Their eyes fell on him but they all had bemused expressions on their faces that he hadn’t seen the first time he had glanced over.
“What?”
Rick was the one who cleared his throat. “I found something out when I got home earlier.”
“Everything okay?”
Pete, one of the guys who had joined shortly after getting out of high school snickered, “Ask the kid.”
Gray frowned in confusion and Rick cracked a smile, which was rare for him. It changed his face completely, making him look younger.
“Kass is pregnant.”
Gray’s mouth went slack. “Seriously?”
“Imagine Rick as a dad!” Jonathan said, laughing.
Rick’s eyes crinkled in joy. Gray tried to picture Rick as a father but had a hard time imagining it. Rick was so large that a baby in his arms would look like a tiny grape or something.
“That’s great news. Congrats, man,” Gray finally said, patting Rick on the back.
“Kass wanted to tell Kristie, but I guess she didn’t want to go out tonight.”
Rick had said it casually, so no one else would pick up on it, but Gray knew what he was telling him. Your wife is staying inside again all night. He didn’t want to think about how Kristie would feel once she heard Kass was pregnant. He knew she would be thrilled for Kass, but she would still dwell on the fact that Kass would be pregnant and she wasn’t.
Gray pushed the thoughts out of his mind to focus on the other things that had to be taken care of. Rick had been planning a way to get into the bar the Infernos ran on the other side of town after hours.
“Are we thinking big or small?” Gray asked, tuning back into the conversation.
“We can blow it up.” Rick shrugged as if he was talking about the weather. “Totally depends on how hard we want to hit them.”
Gray thought of Kristie hitting the sidewalk in front of him, blood oozing out across her T-shirt.
“We want to hit them hard.”
***
Gray didn’t get home until ten. Kristie had been pacing the apartment, unable to sleep, wishing he would hurry up. She was ovulating this week and they had missed a day yesterday, not sleeping together. Every day needs to be used. She took another glance outside the back window. It overlooked a back street and wouldn’t offer any actual views of Gray but it made her feel as if she was doing something.
Their apartment was inside a building, as opposed to the ones that allowed people to walk outside to get to their places. Kristie felt safer with a place that had a buzzer to let people in and keys to gain access. She knew if someone truly wanted in that it wouldn’t stop them, but she would settle for any illusion of security at this point in her life.
Finally, she heard the key in the lock and darted out into the foyer to meet Gray. He was wearing his Devil’s Advocates jacket, which told her everything she needed to know about where he had been. He usually remembered to take it off before he got home.
Gray’s eyes widened when he saw her. “Hey. I thought you’d be asleep.”
“I wanted to but I’m ovulating.”
His face fell slightly. “Kristie, I don’t—”
She yanked on his hand. “Gray, we missed yesterday. We have to try today.”
Gray followed her toward the bedroom. “Did you talk to Kass today?”
She glanced back at him. “What? Yeah, but I didn’t feel like hanging out.”
Gray made a grunting noise in reply as they stepped inside the bedroom. Kristie turned to Gray and began to unzip his pants. It was methodical, and she knew it wasn’t the sexiest way to have sex, but it wasn’t about sexual pleasure. Kristie wanted this child and this would be the only way they could make their dreams come true.
As Gray loomed over her and thrust inside of her, they were both silent. Kristie clung to him as he finished and emptied inside of her. He slowly untangled himself from her arms and rolled over to go to sleep. Gray was snoring in seconds. Kristie envied him for falling asleep that quickly.
As she tried to fall asleep, she realized neither one of them had asked each other about their day.
Chapter Three
Gray faked being asleep until Kristie left the next morning. He felt guilty. He shouldn’t be dodging her. But he didn’t have the energy to talk to her. All they ever talked about anymore was trying to have a child or him still being involved in the gang.
As soon as the front door closed, Gray slid out of bed. He showered, trying not to think about Kass being pregnant and how Kristie would feel when she found out. Their sex last night had been passionless and methodical. Would Kristie really get pregnant from such lifeless sex? How would he even be as a father?
Gray closed his eyes tightly, focusing on the warm water rolling over his body. He tried to make a mental note about what he had to do today. Rick’s plan to put a bomb in the Inferno’s bar seemed incredibly risky but the reward would almost be enough to try it. It would wipe them off the map and drive business back to their own club.
He got out of the shower and dressed, heading downstairs. On the way out, he stopped by the mailboxes. He always forgot to check the mail. Gray opened the mailbox up and flipped through the normal junk mail and bills before stopping at a red envelope. It was the type that he usually saw around this time of year and he vaguely wondered if someone had sent them a Christmas card. Moving off to the side so he could open the letter, he leaned against the wall of the lobby and tore into it.
There was no card inside, just a sheet of computer paper. Curious, Gray pulled it out and opened it to read the typed out lettering:
Your gang is finished and so are you.
A chill shot through him. Gray looked at the back of the paper and then on the envelope for some sort of clue as to who had sent it and when it had been sent but there was nothing. His heart skipped a beat and he crumbled the note up, shoving it in his pocket. The last thing he needed was for Kristie to see this.
Gray stepped outside of the apartment complex, looking up at the sky. Threats in his mailbox. There was no doubt that it was from the Infernos. How childish could one get? Was Armand finally coming out from hiding to come after him? Gray walked over to his truck. It was barely running and he had only bought it so he didn’t have to have Kristie on his bike all the time. It was good to have a regular car to tote all the mechanical tools he had around. He got inside his truck and opened the glove compartment, shoving the note inside. He didn’t want Kristie to see it. Better to forget he had even gotten it.
***
Kristie had shoved her phone in her purse when she had gotten to work. By the time she checked it on her break at lunchtime, Kass had called her twice and texted her. Kristie sighed and read her texts, asking to meet her at the coffee shop down the street. I have great news!! Quit being a hermit and come see me! No excuses!
With a sigh, Kristie walked to the coffee shop to see Kass. She spotted her instantly, sitting in a corner, radiating happiness. Kristie sat across from her and smiled.
“Okay,” Kass began. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not avoiding you,” Kristie lied. “I just didn’t feel like seeing anyone.”
“Well, I’ve been trying to tell you good news but you are i
mpossible to find.”
Kristie studied Kass. Happiness suited her long-term friend. She had settled down with Rick, either not minding his illegal activities or being kept in the dark about them. Kristie wished she didn’t care so much about what Gray did, but how could she not let it bother her after what she had been through? She pushed thoughts of Gray out of her head and smiled at Kass.
“Okay, well, I’m here now. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Gray didn’t tell you?”
“What? No. Gray knows?”
Kass nodded. “Rick told him last night. He probably told him to keep it a secret, which is perfect.”
Kristie frowned, wondering why Gray had kept something from her. “What is it?”
“I’m pregnant!”
Kristie thought the corners of her vision blurred slightly from the sudden surprise of her statement. For some reason, she hadn’t been expecting Kass to be pregnant. It was silly, because Rick and Kass had been married for longer than Kristie and Gray. But for some reason, Kristie had thought she’d be the one to be pregnant first.
“Kass, that’s amazing,” Kristie said and smiled – no matter what she went through, the fact that her friend was pregnant and happy was still amazing.
Kass beamed. “We want you and Gray to be the godparents.”
“Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t have met Rick if it hadn’t been for you, Kristie. Absolutely. And Rick trusts Gray with his life.”
Kristie leaned across the table and grabbed her friend’s hand. “Of course we’ll be the godparents. I am so happy for you.”
The conversation moved on, discussing the child, what the gender could be and all the possible names. While Kristie was thrilled for Kass, a sour part of her couldn’t help but thinking that this should have been her news to share first.
***
Gray was on his break at his uncle’s shop. He stood behind the building, smoking a cigarette as Rick paced in front of him.
“You seemed totally for this bomb idea the other day.”
Rick shook his head. “I know all of that. But I just can’t help but think it seems too excessive. A bomb? And trying to sneak it in under the radar. I don’t know. It’s too risky.”
For a second, Gray tossed around the idea of showing the note he had gotten earlier that morning to Rick. But he pushed it aside. If Armand had truly decided to send threatening letters to Gray like a high school girl, he didn’t want to feed into it. Armand probably wanted him to show everyone in the gang, to get them riled up and make mistakes. He took a drag off his cigarette.
“I’ll leave it up to you then.”
Rick nodded, clearly thinking about what to do. While Gray was all ready for taking anything down to do with the Infernos, he understood why Rick was hesitating. Normally his best friend would have no issue in bombing the hell out of Armand and his buddies after everything they had done.
But Kass was pregnant, and Rick was going soft. Gray understood and didn’t blame him for it. If Kristie had gotten pregnant, Gray might go soft, too, and pull back from all the violence. But Kristie wasn’t pregnant and every day Armand was out there, threatening the two of them and his gang, was another day Gray had lost.
His phone suddenly went off. The text was from Kristie, which was unusual for her. He clicked it open and read: Why didn’t you tell me Kass was pregnant?
Gray stifled a sigh.
***
Kristie waited for Gray to get home. She had put on her nicest bra and panties, a matching dark and red set that was his favorite. She wanted to impress him. Kristie wanted a night of actual passion between them instead of something that happened only to make a child.
She heard him step into the apartment, and she stepped out into the living room. Gray flicked on the light, shrugging off his jacket to the nearest chair when his eyes fell on her. They widened at her figure, and Kristie’s heart skipped a beat. It had been too long since he had looked at her like that.
“Gray,” she whispered. “I missed you.”
A dark look briefly crossed his face, gone so quickly that Kristie thought maybe she imagined it as he took a step forward. She knew that she had sounded harsh in her text earlier, but Gray had simply told her that he thought she should have heard it directly from Kass. Did he think she was mad at him? Maybe Kristie had been, a little, but that had faded.
Gray, entranced by her body, came closer. Kristie moved first, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard. Who would have thought that all it would take to rekindle the passion between them was a bra and panty set? She made a mental note to buy more of them as Gray pressed himself against her. Kristie could feel the tension underneath each muscle.
They fell down on the couch together, arms entwined as they kissed. His hands slid up to her breasts that he loved so much. In that moment, Kristie could forget everything else that they had gone through. The only thing she could think about was how warm his skin was on hers and how passionately he kissed her.
Gray’s phone went off. The loudness of the ring jolted them, and he pulled himself off of Kristie. Normally, he would have ignored his phone and kept going on with her. She reached out for him, to pull him back toward her, refusing to let him go answer the phone.
“Gray, no,” she whispered, making a mental note that this was her last night of ovulation.
The phone went silent, and Gray turned back to look at her. A shadow crossed his face and shame flooded through her. She was going to speak when suddenly the phone went off again. The blaring, incessant noise hung in the air. Gray pushed himself off the couch and snatched his phone out of his jacket pocket.
“Hello?” he said, his voice rough.
Kristie watched him. Someone on the other end said a few words and Gray stiffened. Her heart skipped a beat.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Gray replied and hung up the phone.
“Gray?” she asked, hating how her voice sounded. “What’s wrong?”
His eyes fell on her but they seemed to be the eyes of a stranger. “The bar was attacked. I have to go.”
Chapter Four
The motorcycle ride to the club was a blur. In fact, anything since Gray had picked up Rick’s call had felt like a blur. At one point, he had been kissing Kristie and in the next second, he was rushing toward the bar, to see the damage that the Infernos had done.
“Gray, they set off a bomb underneath the manager’s office. Almost exactly like we had discussed. We need you here.”
The rest of the words were unspoken – that someone in the gang may have spilled their idea to Armand and the Infernos and that the bomb went off during business hours. Innocent people were inside.
Gray had barely said anything to Kristie before he left her behind. Part of him felt bad. She had clearly been hoping to spice up their boring sex by wearing that bra and panty set. And it had worked. Gray had been entranced by seeing her body like that. It brought back all the good memories he had of her.
But when the phone rang the first time, the spell had been broken. She was dressing this way not because she wanted to be with him sexually but because she wanted a child. This latest plan was an effort to hide the fact Kristie was even more desperate for a child since Kass was pregnant. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I can’t have you beating yourself up even more over the fact we can’t get pregnant.
Gray turned into the parking lot of the bar, which swarmed with police cars, firefighters and ambulances. There were crowds of people around the place and smoke was filling the air. He got off his bike, hurrying toward the police barricade. His heart slammed in his chest. Different emotions rolled through him. Gray couldn’t even focus on which one he was feeling more than the others.
Rick saw him first. No wonder, since he towered over almost everyone in the crowd. The crowd parted for him as he walked over to Gray. His pallor was sickly, and he looked shocked at what was going on.
“The police are going to want to talk to us,”
he said by way of greeting. “Soon.”
Gray looked over his shoulder. His mood darkened as he saw John on the scene. John had come back from his ‘vacation’ three months ago. He had mostly been lying low, away from anything to do with the gangs, after accusing Gray of a murder he hadn’t committed. He simply had some stupid vendetta against him and had been dating Kristie at the time.
“Anyone hurt?” he asked Rick.
“A handful. The side of the bar that was hit has been totally destroyed. We’d have to almost rebuild the entire thing, Gray. It isn’t safe to even go inside.”
Gray tried to control his rage. The last thing he wanted to do was freak out around a bunch of cops. Anger choked him and for a moment his vision blurred.
“This was what we were planning, Rick,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “So who the fuck is reporting to the Infernos?”
“I don’t know. Pete was one of the ones injured. He’s being taken to the hospital. Jonathan was at home, and Paul hasn’t answered his phone. I was here to check up on things when it went off. I was on the other side. It was crazy when it went off. The lights went out…everyone panicked and began to run. No one knew what was going on. There was a fire…”
Rick looked haunted. Gray felt someone tap him on the shoulder and turned around to see an older-looking cop staring at them.
“Mind coming down to the station?” he asked them.
Gray wished he could say no. The last thing he felt like doing was talking to the fucking cops. But he only could shrug and Rick trailed after the two of them as they headed toward the cop car.
***
Bar Attacked in Possible Gang Violence was the dramatic heading that Kristie read off her phone. Gray had left three hours ago and hadn’t contacted her since. She couldn’t sleep and had been pacing the apartment, wearing a long T-shirt she had found in her closet.
More gang violence. Her entire body felt as if it was vibrating from the stress of all of it. Were they ever going to be free from this never-ending cycle? Gray had told her…he had promised…but that was before Armand had put two bullets in her.
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