“So, they’ve been spying on us?” Rick had replied gruffly. “Like children?”
Gray nodded, pressing ice against his face. “Gale lost it when he saw me apparently. Didn’t want to wait. Thought maybe he could kill me then and be done with it.”
“Asshole.”
Now they were in the kitchen, musing over what to do next. Kass was watching wide-eyed from the corner of the kitchen. Gray had assumed that she had been kept in the dark for most things to do with the gang and today was proving that assumption correct.
“Have you told Kristie?” Kass asked after he turned down more aspirin.
“No. Not yet.” He quickly amended, “Not like I could hide it. It’s pretty obvious with my face.”
Kass exhaled slowly. “This is all so dangerous.”
“Kass,” Rick said suddenly. “Would you be able to run to the store and grab something quick to eat? Frozen food is fine.”
“I know you’re trying to get rid of me,” she shot back, but her tone was light and teasing.
“I am. Only because worrying isn’t good for the baby.”
Kass sighed. “I’m going to go lay down.”
She left the kitchen quickly and Rick watched her go, concern on his face. Gray didn’t blame him. He wouldn’t want Kristie to know about any of this if it could be helped. Already he was planning his lie to her about his face. It had to be as close to the truth as possible, because Kass would tell her what she knew. He sighed.
Rick, taking his sigh to be about their current situation, nodded. “Things sure are messy.”
“I wanted to come over to discuss what to do about the club. Not get beat up. Any ideas on what to do next?”
Rick shook his head and shifted slightly. A funny expression crossed his face. It was gone in a flash, but Gray spotted it instantly, having known Rick for ages.
“What?” When he didn’t answer, he asked again, “Rick?”
“Kass wants to move.”
Gray’s mouth went slack. “What?”
“She was mentioning it when she found out she was pregnant. And now with the attack and the baby…she would feel safer somewhere else. Away from all of this.”
Gray was stunned into silence. He never expected Rick to be the one to leave. He had always been around. He had been in the gang even longer than Gray had been and always took it seriously. To move away…Gray would be trying to handle all of this on his own. There wasn’t anyone else in the gang that Gray felt as if he could trust. Not after it was clear someone was feeding information to Armand.
He cleared his throat. “Rick, that’s great. Kass and the baby need to be safe.”
“It wouldn’t be until after the birth. Kass still is thinking about it, of course and we don’t know for sure. But with everything going on, I thought I should tell you.”
“Right. Of course. Thanks,” Gray replied.
But it just felt as if another piece of his life had come unhinged.
Chapter Six
For the first time in ages, Kristie didn’t want to see Gray. She came back to their apartment, which was quiet and tomb like, and felt relieved that he wasn’t there. Her mother’s words echoed through her head about divorcing Gray.
It was stupid and ridiculous. Wasn’t it? Kristie loved Gray more than anything. But maybe they had rushed into this marriage. Maybe if they simply separated and went back to dating, that would be okay, too. They could start over.
But Kristie knew as soon as she thought it that it wouldn’t work. No matter how dangerous it was being with Gray, she could never really leave him. Their hearts were entwined. Their difficulties would be something they would just have to work through together. But even thinking such thoughts felt treacherous and Kristie was glad he wasn’t there to read her mind.
A sudden hard knock at the door made Kristie freeze up. For a brief second, a pain in her chest made her lose her breath. She was in the kitchen and shut her eyes tightly.
The knock came again. Kristie walked toward the door, hesitating briefly and looking through the peephole. To her surprise, it was John. She opened the door, relieved that it was someone she knew, even if it was a guy she’d only gone on a couple of dates with.
“John,” she said, surprised.
He seemed unhappy with her casual use of his name but smiled wanly. “Kristie. Is Gray in?”
“No, sorry. He said he had things to do today.”
Speaking to John was dredging up more bad memories. He looked exhausted. The zest to prove himself had clearly been sucked out of him from what he had gone through with Gray. Is he going to try to set up Gray to be arrested again? He looked behind her, as if Gray was hiding inside.
“Did he say where he was going?”
“What is this about, Officer?”
“We need him back down at the station.”
“Why?”
He dodged her question and handed her a card with his name and number on it. “Have him call me right away. Have a nice day.”
Kristie watched him walk down the hallway and shut the door, heart beating quickly. Gray hadn’t done anything wrong. The bar had been bombed by Armand. Why weren’t the cops going after him? Why was John working on a case when he was clearly biased?
She clutched the card tightly, wishing it would all go away. If she could just get Gray to give up on this gang violence and move away with her. She probably couldn’t get pregnant because she was so stressed.
Kristie pulled out her phone and called Gray. He answered on the fourth ring. There was no noise on the other end when he said hello.
“Where are you?”
“What? I’ve been at Rick’s.”
“This whole time?”
“Easily for the last three hours. Why?”
Her breath caught but she forced herself to speak. “John…the cop was here…gave his card. Said to call him right away. They wanted you down at the station.”
Gray cursed on the other line.
“Gray? Did something happen?”
“I didn’t think so. But…possibly.”
Quickly, he told her how Gale from the Infernos had been following him and they had gotten into a fight. He skirted a lot of details – Kristie could pick up on it by the way he hesitated at points.
“You really think the Infernos called the cops on you beating up Gale?” she asked when he was finished. “That seems sort of ridiculous, don’t you think? Why would they go to the people they don’t trust? If the bar burned down and the cops are looking into your gang activity, it seems silly to involve the police more.”
Gray was silent for a moment, thinking it over before he replied. “Yeah, that does make sense.”
“It was probably more questions about the gang activity. But if Gale tried to attack you, then we really need to be careful.”
“I’m going to call my uncle. See if he has a lawyer yet before I go to the station.”
“Okay. See you later.”
The call ended and Kristie sat down on the couch. She had sounded braver on the phone than she had actually felt. Gray was the one for once who sounded slightly panicked. But Kristie had a hard time believing the Infernos would pull the cops into the situation more.
She ran her fingers through her hair, letting out a small sigh. She’d just have to wait until Gray got home to see how it had gone.
***
Gray unlocked the front door of the apartment a couple of hours later. His uncle had managed to hire a lawyer for him and the questioning at the station was going to happen Monday. Having a lawyer with him brought Gray a little comfort. He usually didn’t want to involve himself in that sort of mess but the thought of talking to the cops again without one made him uncomfortable.
The cops said they still had no idea who had set the fire at the bar and they were looking at every lead. Of course, they weren’t stupid. They knew of the Infernos and the Devil’s Advocates. They still never had been able to find evidence to arrest Armand for his illegal street racing and the d
eath of that innocent driver. They knew they were all connected but were missing a few key pieces.
I didn’t kill that guy, and I didn’t set the bar on fire, Gray thought to himself as he stepped inside the apartment. In fact, out of everything going on, the fact he was under the most suspicion was what got to him the most. Yes, he would steal cars. But he still had never outright attacked one of the Infernos, even after they had shot Kristie.
“Oh, you’re home!”
Gray looked up to see Kristie coming out of the kitchen. He had been amazed at how well she had taken the news of Gale coming after him. It had been unlike her to be the one to be the voice of reason lately with everything that was going on. Even now, when she saw his face, she didn’t look panicked but merely tired. He didn’t blame her.
“Do you need ice or anything? For your face?” she asked, coming over to him, peering at him.
“I’m okay. How are you?”
“Tired.”
They moved toward the kitchen, with Kristie grabbing a glass of water and Gray rummaging around for food.
“How did things with Rick go?”
“Fine. Well, they would have gone better if I hadn’t run into Gale tailing us. We’re just trying to figure this bomb thing out.”
“I heard someone is gravely injured.”
Gray grunted in response. He had been sticking his head in the sand when it came to the injuries from the blast. They couldn’t have ripped off the part of the idea where we did after hours when we knew just the gang would be inside? He found a bag of chips and opened them, avoiding Kristie’s glare.
“My mom told me,” she said.
Kristie’s mom. No longer a fan of his. Could he even blame her? As far as Pamela was concerned, Gray was the reason Kristie almost died six months ago. What mother would remain a fan of her daughter’s husband after that? The worst part was that she had a point. If Gray hadn’t dragged Kristie into this mess, he would have been shot instead of her.
“How’s your mom?”
Kristie avoided his gaze, taking a sip of her water. “She’s okay.”
“Did she ask about me?” He almost regretted asking this – it was nothing more than picking at a scab.
She turned to face the sink. “The whole conversation was about you, actually.”
“What about? The bar explosion?”
“Yes…” She hesitated, as if she was deciding something. “And about divorcing you.”
“Can’t say I blame her.”
At this, Kristie turned around, her eyes blazing, “What the hell does that mean?”
He held up his hands. “Whoa, Kristie, I just meant I could understand why your mom would want that.”
Gray had struck a nerve, although he didn’t know how. There was no way Kristie couldn’t understand where her mother was coming from, right? But by the way her mouth twisted, apparently she couldn’t.
“Well, I don’t. The shooting wasn’t done by you. It isn’t as if you shot me yourself.”
Kristie rarely mentioned the shooting. Gray didn’t either, unsure what to say. He took full blame for the fact it happened to her. The fact Kristie didn’t took him by surprise. Everyone else rightfully blamed him. But they hadn’t spoken much about the shooting. It had altered Kristie in ways he both understood and didn’t get.
“Right and I’m glad you don’t blame me. Truly. But you can see why your mom would. It doesn’t surprise me at all.”
“She said…she said we shouldn’t have kids.”
The kid conversation again. A land mine that Gray always tried to dodge completely. When Kristie had first mentioned having a child, Gray had been thrilled about it. He had agreed instantly. But after months of trying and failing, it seemed as if the passion of having a child had died off. In its place was instead a sole focus that Kristie clung to. Having a child had become something bigger in her mind than it ever should be. She had a rigid focus on it that concerned Gray.
Gray would love Kristie with or without kids. But she had formed this idea now that if she didn’t give Gray a child, she was no good as a wife to him. And no matter how many times he had quietly tried to tell her otherwise, she wouldn’t budge on this.
Now he was facing a conversation about both Pamela and having a child – the two worst subjects for their relationship, wrapped up in one topic. He knew he would have to tread lightly.
“She’s just looking out for you. You’re her daughter.”
“She said it wouldn’t be safe for us to have kids. What do you think?”
Gray took a step toward her. “Kristie, I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy.”
“You’re dodging the question.”
He was, but it was only because he really just wanted her to be happy. Focusing on the child had made her miserable. She was blaming herself for not being able to be pregnant. And should they really bring a child into the world at this moment? Everything was messy, with the Infernos and cops breathing down his neck. Would it be safe to have a child?
“Gray, do you not want to have kids?”
“Of course I do,” he said, meaning it. “I just want it to be the best time to do it.”
“And now isn’t?”
Gray felt as if the conversation was somehow getting away from him and he wasn’t sure why. “I just want you to be safe. I want our child to be safe, too.”
“Are we ever going to be safe though, Gray? There is madness going on with everyone. This stupid gang violence – you said…you said you were going to leave it behind. And now your bar and a source of our income is gone! And the cops are asking questions and a guy just randomly attacks you!”
“Kristie, please, calm down.”
It was the wrong thing to say. Kristie’s eyes narrowed and her skin flushed. In the back of his mind, Gray wondered if she had been itching for a fight.
“Do not tell me to calm down! My mom wants me to divorce you, Gray. Your uncle doesn’t even speak to me. And I can’t get pregnant – would my mom even be happy if I got pregnant? She said…she said how can I work at a law office while you break the law? And she’s right! I feel like a sham. Like I’m not even a person. Everyone looks at me and sees the girl who was shot. The girl who married her cousin. The girl who can’t get pregnant.” Her eyes were welling up with tears now, and he wondered how long she had been sitting on all of this.
“Kristie, first off, no one thinks you are less of a woman for not being pregnant yet, okay? I don’t, for one. Things have been very stressful. Maybe you haven’t been able to get pregnant because of how stressful things are.”
She sniffled and the energy seemed to have been sapped out of her. “You think so?”
He moved toward her and put his arms on her hips, looking at her. “Why don’t we see a doctor? We won’t tell anyone. We’ll just tell the doctor what is going on. That’ll be something, right?”
She nodded. “Okay. We’ll see a doctor. I know…I know I shouldn’t let it affect me so much. But with Kass being pregnant…I just want this so much, Gray.”
Gray didn’t want to tell her that Kass might move away. Kristie had told him how she had asked them to be the godparents. Kristie had seemed so excited. To tell her that she would be a godparent from far away would just send her off to cry again.
He didn’t like that her mother was pressuring Kristie to divorce him. What if she decided to leave him? For the first time in a while, Gray tried to picture himself living without Kristie. He didn’t want to imagine it. With all their troubles, he still wanted to be with her more than anything.
Gray pulled her close and held her.
Chapter Seven
Kristie hated painting her nails. It was probably because she was so impatient when it came to doing it. She wished the damned things would dry instantly and she could just be done with it. The light pink polish stared up at her, with one finger already having been accidently smudged when she had to go pee.
Kristie looked out the window. Gray was going to be home any mi
nute. They were going to the doctor together to speak about trying to have a baby. After her meltdown last week, she had finally made an appointment. She was glad that Gray was coming with her.
The last week had settled down a little. Kristie had gone to work. Gray’s lawyer had been firmly dealing with the police, fielding questions with Gray about any illegal activities. The cops had no leads on anything – just like they hadn’t had any leads on her shooting. Kristie assumed Armand was still hiding underground like a rat. He’ll show up eventually. She pushed thoughts of him out of her head. Not now.
Kristie hadn’t told her mother about her appointment today. She knew her mom would disapprove and tell her to stop trying to have a child with Gray. She had told Kass instead, who had been sending her supportive texts all morning. Kass had told her that she was three months along and had waited to tell everyone until she was sure everything was going okay with the baby. Kristie knew if she ended up getting pregnant that Kass would be a good source of advice. Our babies would be close in age, too.
There was the sound of the lock in the door, which always made Kristie’s heart skip a beat.
“I’m home!” Gray called out – if he didn’t see her in the living room, he usually said something so she knew it was him.
Kristie stood up and headed out to the living room. “Hey, how was everything today?”
“Finally was able to look at what repairs the bar needed. Rick came along, too. It fucking sucks. Not going to lie. The entire side of the bar was destroyed. It might be easier just to tear it down.”
Kristie wanted to say more than just that she was sorry, but felt at a loss for words. The bar had meant a lot to Gray and he had begun to take an avid interest in it to make more money from it. To have it destroyed was a hit to their income as well to his ego.
“Anyway,” he said. “How are you doing? You ready?”
“I’m ready but can you drive? I just painted my nails.” And I’m nervous as hell.
Gray seemed to sense that, however and nodded, grabbing his keys up again. Kristie trailed after him, locking the door and making sure it was locked a couple of times. She reached for his hand afterward, taking comfort in the quiet strength that seemed to be coming from him today.
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