Embarrassment filled her from head to toe. Did he feel like she was throwing herself at him? That she couldn’t resist?
Only bad girls like to kiss that way.
No. That wasn’t true. There was nothing wrong with wanting someone, being attracted. But the realization that she was swimming in a pool too deep for her was lowering. A man like Dwayne wasn’t right for her, and obviously he didn’t want her anyway. David. A guy like David was more her speed.
Using what little pride hadn’t been crushed, she tilted her head and gave him a cool stare. “Fine. If that’s how you feel, I won’t bother you about it.” She turned and walked into the house without looking back, pleased with how she had reacted.
And maybe just a little bit disillusioned.
Chapter 9
Kicking a puppy would have been just about the same level of low Dwayne felt as he got in his truck and pulled away. He hadn’t even bothered to go back inside the house, just walked around the side yard and took off. Things were wrapping up, and only minimal cleanup would be necessary at that point. He’d send a text later to Jeremy apologizing and giving the best excuse he could invent between now and then.
Going inside, facing her right then, was not an option. Not with a hard-on that could hammer nails and a weak-ass grip on what was left of his control and good common sense. The combination of lingering vulnerability and shame from his freak-out earlier mixed with the disgust of using Veronica so easily and giving in to his own impulses without even the slightest resistance wasn’t making him the best of company. Good idea to just avoid people all around.
He knew she was different. Special. She had that quiet, serene personality that was something completely different than what he was used to. And maybe a little naïve. But sweet, compassionate. And as far as he could judge, trustworthy. Not to mention trusting in others.
Too trusting.
Dwayne ran a hand over his hair and managed to merge onto the highway without any complications. It hadn’t hit him until his lungs started to burn that he was holding his breath. He let it out on a slow, controlled puff until the burning eased.
He’d barely known her. Why was he so sure of his assessment? Was he really the best judge of character anyway? He thought Blair was a decent person. He thought he might even be edging up to love her. And she turned out to be a manipulative bitch. There was no other way to describe a woman who faked a pregnancy to get a guy to marry her. Lowest of the low, as far as he was concerned.
Veronica just didn’t strike him as anything close to that. Not manipulative, not bitchy. Almost too quiet. Oh, she had pride in her, though. He smiled at the memory. Tilting her chin, looking at him like he was suddenly dirt on her shoe instead of a guy she’d been tangling tongues with seconds earlier, using her haughty, superior voice to set him down and walk away. Yeah, she was something. Feisty when she wanted to be. She should let that side out to play more often.
No. He didn’t need to be thinking of any woman’s sides. He didn’t really know her, and shouldn’t want to know her better. He was in the middle of fixing his own life, and that was a one-man job. Dragging another person into his own version of hell wasn’t fair, wasn’t right, and wasn’t going to happen. Not a sweetheart like Veronica, not someone more worldly. Nobody, period.
He pulled into his apartment complex and hopped down from the truck. Another engine roared behind him, someone on a motorcycle pulling into the complex. Not unusual, since many of his neighbors—also Marines—owned bikes. But this one’s engine he knew well.
Jeremy. The bastard had followed him home. Momentary paranoia set in, wondering why. Did Veronica tell him about his problem on the highway earlier? Was he sent to babysit?
No. Calm your ass down. She said she wouldn’t tell, and she wouldn’t. He didn’t know where the complete and utter confidence in her word had come from, someone he’d only known a little over a month, but he accepted it at face value and didn’t question it.
Jeremy pulled his helmet off, ran a gloved hand over his flattop, and grinned. “Thanks.”
Dwayne leaned back against the side of his truck and crossed his arms. “For?”
His friend hopped off the bike and tucked his helmet under his arm. “For leaving. When we realized you were taking off, I volunteered to go make sure you were okay.”
“You could have just called. Or sent a text,” Dwayne pointed out.
“Yeah, but if I did that, I’d still be back at Tim’s place cleaning, wouldn’t I?”
Dwayne couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head as he walked to his apartment. “Coming up for a beer?”
“I wouldn’t say no.” Jeremy followed him in, setting his helmet down and unzipping his jacket to drape over a kitchen chair. “You know, I don’t think I realized until now how bare this place is.”
“Yours is just the same.” Dwayne popped one bottle cap, handed a beer to Jeremy, and sat in one of his chairs with a bottle of water. “That’s the bachelor way, my friend. Functional.”
“Yeah.” Jeremy took a long pull as he turned a three-sixty in the living room. “But I’m just now realizing it. Tim’s got all sorts of stuff everywhere. I mean, a lot of the weird shit’s Skye’s. The fertility statues and burning stick stuff, it’s obvious what’s hers and what’s not. But even before she moved in with him, he had little things here and there. Pictures. Art. Stuff.”
Dwayne had pictures of him and his family in his bedroom. Not for public display. He wasn’t hiding them, but they were simply more personal. Jeremy had never been in there, for obvious reasons. Guys just didn’t go into other guys’ bedrooms for anything. It was weird. But he took another look around the room and started to see what Jeremy did.
Two recliners, one couch. Mismatched end tables. A kitchen table he’d taken for free when another single Marine was getting married and refurnishing the new love nest. The flat screen, of course, and entertainment console. Nobody could accuse him of scrimping on those. Hell no. A man had priorities, after all. But the walls were white, bare. No plants, no pictures, nothing that gave any hint to who lived there. Coming from Tim’s welcoming place, full of signs of the lives of those who lived there, it was a little… hollow.
“Huh. Never really thought about it. But it’s not like I’m here a lot anyway. I’m either deployed or I’m at work so much I don’t really care about anything in here except for a place to watch the games and to sleep. I couldn’t keep a plant alive with my work schedule.”
“Good point. Clearly I’m of the same mind, since my place is no better. Though if Madison keeps bringing crap over, who knows what it’ll look like?” Jeremy sank into the other recliner, well broken in from years of guys’ nights. He swiveled a few times. “So what do you think of Veronica?”
Dwayne choked on his water. Coughing a few times, he leaned forward to set the bottle down. “What?”
Jeremy raised a brow. “Water goes down the other tube.”
“Thanks.” Catching his breath finally, he gave Jeremy a look. “What were you saying?”
“You heard me; don’t make me repeat it.”
Yeah. He’d heard. Didn’t mean he wanted to answer. “She’s nice.”
“She’s quiet. And weird.”
“Don’t be an ass.” Dwayne shook his head. “She’s not weird.”
“She talks funny,” Jeremy argued. “Like English isn’t her first language. But apparently she’s not fluent in anything else.”
“I talk funny,” Dwayne shot back, using an exaggerated drawl for emphasis.
“You talk stupid. Matches your face. There’s just something about her. I don’t know. Secrets or something.” Jeremy shrugged and took another drink. “Not saying she’s not nice. She is. In that silent, invisible, I’ll just sit over here so nobody remembers I exist sort of way.”
Dwayne thought back to how she’d smiled in the bakery, laughing and jokin
g and playing up the role of a bride in love for the benefit of the worker. Not exactly invisible.
“Having any more problems?”
The question was quiet, more serious. As much as they gave each other shit, Jeremy was one of his best friends. And he cared.
“Saw the chaplain the other day. Talked about it a little.” When Jeremy said nothing, he went on. “Said it’s normal, not surprising, not to worry about it. Talk it out. Ask for help. That sort of thing. Expected stuff.”
“Did it help any, to talk to someone?”
“A little.” He couldn’t not say anything. Despite Veronica’s promise to keep it to herself, he knew he needed to work through the incident with someone else. “I freaked out on the road today. When Veronica and I went to get the cake. Saw a tire on the road, and when I tried to get around it…” He swallowed some water to wash the taste of shame out. Didn’t work. “She had to help me pull off the highway and wait for me to snap out of it.”
A long silence pulsed. “She freak out?”
“Ha.” Dwayne put his water down, then picked it back up again. Always easier to have something to do with your hands. “Not even close. She was probably terrified at the time. But cool, calm, collected was all I saw. It was like she was inside my mind, knew exactly what I needed at that moment, and went with it. I was probably better off with her than if I’d been alone.”
“That’s surprising. I would have figured she’d be scarred for life from something like that. But during the party I started to wonder—”
Dwayne waited, but Jeremy didn’t finish. “Started to wonder what?”
His friend set his empty bottle down and kicked back. “I noticed she was looking at you. Trying to be covert about it, which was cute since she sucked so badly at it. But my first thought was amusement more than anything.”
“What’s so funny about a girl wanting me?” Indignation in his voice covered the excitement that vibrated through him. She’d been watching him?
“And my next thought,” Jeremy went on, ignoring the question, “was that this could be a huge problem.”
Problem. Hadn’t Dwayne just been telling himself that any sort of attempt at a relationship—with Veronica or anyone else—would be a mistake? But hearing an outsider say it only pissed him off, irrationally. “Problem my ass.”
“Look, she’s cute, I guess.” Jeremy’s face said he didn’t really think so.
Dwayne wanted to kick him.
“But she definitely doesn’t have the type of personality to hang with a guy like you, or any Marine in general. She seems a little on the needy, high-maintenance side. Not always the best combination.”
Blair had been high maintenance. At first he thought it was a cute, weird quirk. Later, though… “She handled both freak-outs of mine with serious balls. I wouldn’t think someone seriously high maintenance would do so well.”
Jeremy shrugged again. “Like I said, I just think it would end in disaster. We have a nice little group going, the waters are calm. Why go and fuck it up with something that wouldn’t last anyway?”
“Like when you and Madison went through your little thing? You didn’t really appreciate all my advice back then, did you?” The words were out before he could stop them, and he immediately wanted to erase the entire conversation from both their memories.
Jeremy’s eyes turned stormy and his fists clenched on the arm of the chair. “Leave Madison out of this. That was my fault, and we’re past it now.”
“Look, I shouldn’t have said it. It wasn’t a dig, I just meant—”
“Shouldn’t have said it. Perfectly put.” Jeremy stood. “Let me know when you’re in the mood for company. Clearly today isn’t the day.” He snatched his helmet and jacket up and stormed out, shutting it tightly behind him.
Always a little on the dramatic side, that one.
But Jeremy had a point. What else did he have to do besides sit and think about what would happen if he really went after Veronica? It wasn’t as if he was going to go after someone else.
He stood and picked up the empties to place in the recycling bin Skye bought him for a welcome home gift.
That made two people now who warned him off from starting up something with Veronica. Neither had used his reintegration issue as the reason why, though. Her own gentle heart and secret past seemed more the problem. As if he would be clumsy with her. What, did they think he’d leave her broken and damaged as he trotted off to his next victim?
That was bullshit. He was a good guy, minus his current unfortunate issues. But he’d work those out. If willpower had anything to do with it, he’d be better soon. And then why not Veronica? There was attraction there, definite chemistry. She’d already seen him at his worst and hadn’t run the other direction screaming.
A part of him wondered why, out of all the women in the area, the one with the most secrets was the one he was drawn to. Why Veronica?
Then another, stronger part argued… why not?
***
Veronica checked the hem of her skirt once more in the long mirror. It covered to her knees, but that was all. And while it was okay—she knew it was okay—the small voice that sounded too much like her mother whispered she was in the wrong. Still, nerves had her second-guessing everything.
“You’re sure this skirt is okay? Not too short?” She looked at Madison in the mirror.
Her friend flopped back on the bed in obvious exasperation. “Again, yes. That skirt is long compared to what most people wear on a date. It’s fine. I swear, you must have been a nun in another life.”
Veronica smiled, wanting to tell her how close to the truth it really felt. But not now. Still not yet. She wasn’t confident enough in being open about it, somehow wanting to lock in the friendships securely before admitting her beyond-unique upbringing.
“Should I do something different with my hair?” It was braided, as always, down her back. It was so much longer than most other women’s, unfashionably so. Braiding was the only way to style it without worrying about massive tangles later. Maybe soon she’d get the courage to finally cut it off. Not all. But some.
Your crowning glory, Veronica. To cut it off is to spit in God’s eye.
“No, it’s fine. This is supposed to be casual, remember? Just a quick meet-up. You shouldn’t think so hard about it.” Madison toyed with the edge of the bedspread. “I’ll admit, though, I’m impressed that you asked him out. Shows guts.”
The reminder made her blush. She’d asked another coworker for David’s email address—asking Skye would have been wrong, since she was the manager—and sent him a message asking to go for coffee. Madison had agreed with the idea of a coffee date. Coffee, as she said, was a good way to start. Not too long, in case things weren’t working, and it was easy to duck out of. But if things went well, they could always segue into something longer, like dinner or a walk.
There was a knock at the door and Madison popped up. “I’ll get it. You stay here. It’s the whole effect thing.”
Veronica raised a brow but didn’t bother commenting. No point with Madison; she was already out the bedroom and bounding to answer the door. She turned back to the mirror one final time and turned around to see front and back.
She looked good. Normal. Like she’d done this a hundred times.
Except she never had. She shook her hands to relieve the pins and needles feeling, to dry the sweat. It was just a first date. No pressure. David was a nice guy, a real sweetheart. It’s why she’d chosen him to begin with. He wouldn’t push, or make her feel uncomfortable, or like she wanted too much.
Unlike someone else she could mention. It still burned to recall the way Dwayne had acted after their kiss.
“Veronica, David’s here!”
Shock. Veronica bit back a giggle at the sarcastic thought. She smiled and stepped out to see David standing at the door, looking almost a
s nervous as her. In pressed khakis and a light blue button-down shirt, he looked good.
She waited for the tug of excitement, the little jump to her system at the sight of him. But it didn’t come. Maybe some things were simply meant to go slower. She smiled and walked up.
“You look nice.”
“So do you.” He opened the door and smiled. “Are you ready to head out?”
Veronica grabbed her cardigan and purse and stepped out. As they headed to David’s car, he directed her with a hand on the elbow. But nothing. No shiver of reaction, no heat.
Okay, she had to stop analyzing the entire thing, or this whole afternoon would turn into a disaster. And David didn’t deserve that.
Putting on a very cheerful, if a little false, smile, she said, “I’m really glad you agreed to meet with me. We didn’t work together for very long before you left. I was afraid you wouldn’t remember me.”
He closed her door and walked around to get in the car himself. “Of course I did. I was glad you emailed me.” His smile was warm, his eyes matched. But there was no heat there.
This might be a very long afternoon if she couldn’t stop comparing him to Dwayne.
***
“Yeah, I’m getting the order now.” Dwayne waited for the line to crawl forward and gripped the phone tighter. “Well, it wouldn’t take so long if you would just take coffee from the freaking McDonald’s drive-thru like everyone else. But no, you need your special coffee from the one place that doesn’t have a drive-thru. And everyone and their grandma thought today was a good day for coffee.”
“Chill,” Jeremy said on the other end of the line. “I suggested coffee. You didn’t have to stop and get some if you didn’t want to. Leave if the line’s too long.”
“I’m staying now, just on principle,” he grumbled. Twenty freaking minutes already. It was enough to make a guy want to drink. But that was the entire point. He and Jeremy weren’t drinking, at least for the weekend, in Jeremy’s case. It was his way of supporting Dwayne. Just as he’d suspected, ten minutes after their disagreement both had moved on from it. Guys, unlike girls, managed to not drag crap out for another fifteen years. So when Jeremy called Dwayne to hang, he saw it for the peace offering it was and didn’t hesitate to accept.
Officer and the Secret (Semper Fidelis. Always Faithful.) Page 10
