by Brenda Novak
After washing down that bite of cookie with a drink of milk, he set what was left of both on his desk. “Did you let on?”
She folded back the linen sleeves of her blouse. She almost always dressed colorfully, but today she wore tan pants with a white shirt and left all the color to her sandals, which had red, white and turquoise beads, and the large chunks of turquoise in her jewelry. “No, I played dumb. Asked how she was. Said you’d be back this afternoon.”
“She didn’t want to wait?”
“I’m sure she would have, had I encouraged her. But I made it sound like it could be a while.” She studied him closer. “Should I have done something else?”
“No, definitely not.” He stared down at his work boots as he remembered how he’d touched Savanna last night, how easy and natural it had felt. He’d wanted to be with her, hadn’t had to talk himself into it...
His mother waved a hand under his face to get his attention. “You look completely dejected. What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering what I’m going to do. I shouldn’t have left Heather hanging. It’s been two days since she told me about the baby. But every time I pick up the phone to call her, I put it down again. I mean...what do I tell her?”
“Why not tell her the truth?”
“That I don’t know if I can love her?”
She winced but doggedly stuck with her original answer. “If it’s true, what else can you do?”
“If I tell her that, she’ll go back to Scott.”
“Maybe she should go back to Scott.”
“You’re talking about a man who told me he’d never let my ‘filthy’ bastard grow up in his house. He’s jealous and angry, and that’s a dangerous combination, especially when there’s a defenseless baby involved.”
With a sigh, she sank into the fold-up chair across from his desk. “What about your next-door neighbor?”
“What about her?”
“Eli says she’s pretty.”
The image of Savanna taking off her shirt last night flashed through his mind. She was more than pretty; Gavin thought she was gorgeous. Sweet, too. Unassuming. Earnest. Underappreciated. But he did what he could to downplay the attraction. “She’s not bad.”
She arched her eyebrows. “He said that you two seem to really like each other.”
Gavin thought about sharing what Savanna had recently been through but couldn’t bring himself to do it. That would explain why he’d been trying so hard to help. It wasn’t just that he found her attractive; she deserved a break. But he’d told Savanna he’d keep her secret. “She’s just coming out of a relationship, isn’t ready for another one. And what I’ve got going is hardly something I’d feel comfortable dragging anyone into.” Which was why he felt bad for giving in to temptation last night...
“I hate that this has happened,” she said. “You’ve been through so much in your life. You deserve the chance to be happy.”
“Being a responsible parent comes first.”
She rose to her feet and walked over to hug him. “Somehow I knew you were going to say that.”
* * *
There was a woman at Gavin’s house.
Savanna stiffened when she saw her standing on his stoop.
Hearing Savanna’s footsteps crunch on the gravel road, the tall blonde turned and stiffened, too. “Who are you?” she asked, obviously startled to find someone else in an area with a normal population of one.
Savanna wanted to ask her the same. But she was the newcomer here. So she forced a smile. “I’m Savanna, Gavin’s next-door neighbor.”
“I didn’t know he had a neighbor,” she said.
“I haven’t been here long. Moved in last Friday.” Technically, she’d only arrived on Friday and moved in on Saturday, but that small detail didn’t matter enough to even mention it.
“Oh.” The woman didn’t provide her name. She still seemed to be processing the surprise. “Does Gavin know you’re here?”
“Yes. He was nice enough to help me move in. Are you his...sister or something?” She knew this woman couldn’t be his sister. When he’d told her he had seven brothers, he would’ve mentioned if he had a sister, too. But she hoped her question would lead to some explanation as to who this person was and what role she played in Gavin’s life. It was none of her business, even after last night, given the terms they’d agreed upon, but she couldn’t help being curious, especially because Gavin’s visitor looked about his age, which was also close to hers, of course.
“No. I’m...” She seemed to struggle to define the relationship. “I’m a good friend,” she finished, as if she’d have to settle for that. “Do you have any idea where he is?”
“I’m guessing he’s at work. He told me he works at New Horizons Boys Ranch.”
“I went by there, but his mother told me he was out running errands. I thought maybe he stopped by here to get something or grab a bite to eat.”
“Haven’t seen him, but that doesn’t mean anything. I probably wouldn’t have seen you if I hadn’t come out to get my mail.” Her mailbox was clear down the street near the turnoff, which meant she had to walk past Gavin’s house. “Have you tried calling or texting him?”
“No, but I will.” She stepped off the stoop. “My name’s Heather, by the way. Heather Fox.”
Savanna met her in the middle of Gavin’s yard to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Savanna Gray.”
It was easy to read the curiosity on Heather’s face. “You’re so pretty.”
“Thank you. So are you.”
Heather smiled but didn’t seem completely believing of the compliment. “You’re new in town, then? Where are you from?”
“Utah.”
“And you’re living in the old ranch house across the creek, the one that’s been abandoned for so long?”
“Yeah. Scary prospect, right? But the house used to belong to my great-grandmother, so I can’t wait to put it right.”
“That’s cool. Should be a fun project.”
“An expensive one,” she said with a rueful smile.
Heather hiked her purse up higher on her shoulder. “You aren’t tackling that alone, are you? I mean, you came here with someone—a significant other?”
“No. It’s just me and my two kids. They’re at the house watching a Disney movie right now.”
The smile disappeared from her face. “So...you’re divorced?”
She’d known she would face this question, but she refused to volunteer too much information. “Essentially.”
“All the single men in town will be excited to hear that.”
“Oh, I’m not looking to meet anyone.”
“Until you do, right?” She laughed again, but Savanna didn’t get the impression she honestly found what she’d just said funny.
* * *
What constituted attraction? Gavin wondered as he sat at his desk after school let out. Heather was a nice person. He knew her well, knew she’d do her best to make him a good wife. And she loved him. She’d made that clear. So why couldn’t he return her feelings? Why was he so much more interested in Savanna, a woman he’d only recently met and barely knew?
Had to be that Savanna was new in town, different, and if that was it, what he felt probably wouldn’t last once the newness wore off. That was why he couldn’t let his preoccupation with his new neighbor affect his long-term life plan. He’d never fallen head over heels in love or he probably would’ve found it much more difficult to remain friends with the women he dated. If he wasn’t hurt, upset or jealous, why would he refuse to remain in contact?
Sure, there were a few who no longer stayed in touch with him—once they started dating someone else or got married usually—but he’d always been willing to settle for friendship if they were. That meant, even if
Savanna was willing to move forward with a relationship, the same cycle of initial excitement fading to something that wasn’t very intense at all would most likely happen with her, too. He had to be careful not to neglect Heather and his duty to his child, if it was his child, by reaching for something that wasn’t real, anyway.
Light streamed in from outside as Jared Hawthorne poked his head into the room. “Hey, dude! What are you doing here?” he asked the moment he spotted Gavin. “Aren’t you coming today?”
Usually, Gavin went over to the basketball courts after school and played a game or two with the students. He liked having fun with the boys, if he had time, and since the number of kids who waited at the outdoor courts grew from the beginning of the year to the end, he knew it was something a lot of them looked forward to each day. But, as Gavin had told those who’d already stopped by looking for him, he was too tired to run that hard this afternoon. He hadn’t even fixed the lawn mower after driving to Santa Barbara to get the part. Although he’d handled some paperwork and stopped a leak under the sink in one of the bathrooms, he’d mostly been sitting and stewing—and yawning, since he’d gotten so little sleep. “Can’t make it today, bud.”
Jared’s face fell. “What? Why?”
“Was up late last night.”
“Doing what?”
Gavin bit back a smile. “Just some stuff I had to take care of. You guys go ahead without me.”
He scowled. “But it’s no fun if you’re not there.”
Gavin hated to disappoint them, but he knew he wouldn’t last ten minutes. His heart simply wasn’t committed to basketball today. “I’ll try to make it tomorrow.”
“O-kay,” he said, drawing out the word in obvious disappointment.
As soon as the door shut, and Gavin was once again alone, he told himself to make the call he’d been dreading since Saturday. That Heather had stopped by New Horizons indicated she was getting impatient. And he couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t nice of him to keep stringing her along.
With a sigh for his reluctance, he steered his mind away from Savanna, since thinking about her made him not want to make this call, to Scott, since thinking about him did. Even before this happened with Heather, Gavin hadn’t particularly liked Scott. And since he didn’t feel Scott would be a good stepfather, he essentially had no choice.
Besides, what was the big deal? He and Heather had reconciled before. Why not give it another try? He couldn’t hold back because of Savanna. She’d made it clear that she had a lot of healing to do, wasn’t a viable option. Besides, he planned on leaving Silver Springs if his mother ever married Cal Buchanon, the rancher she’d been dating for quite some time. Once that happened, Gavin could move on knowing she was happy and well taken care of, wouldn’t have to stay and look out for her as he felt obligated to do now. If he could make it work with Heather, he’d take her and their baby and move to Nashville. She’d talked about that before, insisted he’d make it huge in the music industry if only he gave it a concerted effort, so he knew she’d be happy with that decision.
“It’s the right thing to do,” he muttered, and called Heather while he had the willpower.
She answered on the first ring. “Hey.”
Hearing the hope in her voice made him feel even guiltier for how self-indulgent he’d been last night. “How’ve you been?”
“Pretty good. You?”
Thanks to Savanna, he’d been great, at least for the hours he’d spent in her bed. But he knew Heather wouldn’t be excited about that. “Fine. My mom said you stopped by today.”
“Yeah. I took a sick day, couldn’t face teaching, and wanted to see if you were ready to talk. I’ve been trying not to push you, but my parents keep asking me what I’m going to do.”
“You’ve already told your parents?”
“Of course. I needed their support.”
Knowing Sid and Vickie, he wasn’t sure that was the kind of support he would’ve been looking for. He found them to be overbearing in the extreme. But who was he to criticize how she’d handled the situation? There was no rule book for this type of thing. “Right. Of course they’d be concerned.” He curved his hand into a fist. “Go ahead and tell them they don’t have anything to worry about.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“It means your child will have a father. I’m willing to try again.” There. He’d said it. The words were out. The decision had been made.
“You are?”
He winced. Even her excitement and relief bugged him. He supposed it was because he felt cornered, and no one liked to be cornered, but that wasn’t her fault. He was lucky she wanted him instead of Scott. At least that put him in the position of choosing. “Yes.”
“So...would you like me to come over tonight? I could make you dinner. You like my beet and goat cheese salad. And I’ve found a new recipe for pesto chicken I’m positive you’ll love.”
“Sounds great. Just...not tonight, okay? I’m still at the school, but I’m exhausted. I’m going straight to bed as soon as I get home.”
“Should we get together tomorrow, then?”
“Sure. But...let’s take it slow. I’d like to start over from the beginning.”
“In what way?” She sounded confused.
“We’ll date at first—nothing exclusive—to give us both time to acclimate to the recent changes. We have seven months. There’s no rush.”
“Oh. Right. Of course.”
“That’s okay, isn’t it?”
“Sure it is.” She didn’t sound excited by the idea, but she sounded...tolerant. “I want you to be happy, too.”
“Perfect. I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, and hung up.
After another fifteen minutes spent staring off into space, Gavin finally rose to his feet. He should feel good, he told himself. He was making a worthy sacrifice. In a sense, it was the sacrifice his father had refused to make for him. He’d put his child first.
But if he didn’t even want Heather to come over and make him dinner, how was he going to marry her?
13
A ding indicated Gavin had received a text. After parking in his drive, he checked his phone.
You son of a bitch!
Nice... There was no name attached to the number. That meant the sender wasn’t in his address book. But he could guess the person’s identity. Who is this? he wrote, just to be sure.
The response, when it came, didn’t answer the question directly. It did, however, provide a strong clue. You’re getting back with her? Really?
Scott.
If the baby’s mine, I want to raise it, Gavin wrote.
We won’t know that for seven months!
But he knew he’d take better care of Scott’s baby than Scott would of his. After living with Aiyana and working at the ranch, he felt like a trained warrior when it came to defending the powerless. Anyway, even if he was wrong about Scott’s parenting ability, he couldn’t trust Scott well enough to take the chance. He had to stay involved in order to make sure his child had everything he or she needed. That was the reason he’d chosen to take Heather back—it would provide him with the most control over the child’s life, even though it wasn’t necessarily the path he wanted to take.
I’m sorry you’re disappointed.
Bullshit! If you were sorry, you wouldn’t do what you’re doing. I saw the way you were looking at Heather when we were at the bar the other night. You wanted to make sure she still wanted you but only as some sort of ego trip. You don’t love her, not when it comes down to it. You were just messing with her head, trying to screw things up for me.
That was such a load of crap. Gavin had been glad to see them out having fun. He’d thought Heather had finally gotten over him, that he no longer had to feel he was disappointing someone he cared about as a friend
.
He didn’t bother to respond, but Scott didn’t wait for a reply. He added: You’d better watch out. If I get the chance, I’m going to kick your ass!
You’ve got my address. Gavin knew better than to provoke the dude, but he couldn’t help it. He was spoiling for a fight right now himself. Just turning down the road that led to his house reminded him of his new neighbor and brought back, in exquisite detail, what it’d felt like to make love to her last night. He wanted to go back over there. That he couldn’t made him angry. But he knew what would likely happen if he did, and it wouldn’t be fair to sleep with someone else after he’d told Heather he was willing to start over with her.
When Heather’s ex-boyfriend didn’t continue the argument, Gavin got out. Maybe Scott’s silence meant he was on his way. Gavin had been planning to go in, take off his clothes and crash—with the hope that the world would look better in the morning. But that exchange with Scott had shot him full of adrenaline, making sleep impossible. He decided he’d sit out on the porch, like he did most other nights, and work on his latest song, try to calm down and keep an eye out at the same time, but when he reached the stoop, he found a note tucked into his front door.
I made beef stew in my Crock-Pot today and got some crusty sourdough bread at the bakery in town. I even have some no-bake cookies Alia and Branson helped make for dessert. Not a bad meal for someone who doesn’t have a stove or oven. Would you like to join us for dinner? If so, come on over. We’ll wait until seven. —Savanna
“Shit,” he muttered as he stared down at her delicate handwriting. Telling himself he’d be crazy to flirt with that kind of temptation, he crumpled the paper. He had to stay away from Savanna, or he could—would—wind up compromising his integrity. But he couldn’t say no to dinner. Although he’d given her his number, she’d never called or texted him, so he didn’t have hers. He couldn’t get out of going there without walking over to tell her. And if he did that, he might as well eat. He didn’t want her to think he was acting weird after last night when last night had nothing to do with what was going on in his life.
Besides, he was hungry, and this meant he wouldn’t have to make something for himself.
