The fact that she hadn’t denied his outing of her in front of Sir Edward and Lady Anne only confirmed who she was. He hadn’t seemed angry either. Quite the opposite in fact. Certainly she wasn’t in the tower yet. Maybe he wouldn’t punish her. If she explained everything, perhaps that would help him to understand she had no part in the siege. Maybe it could work. And now that Lady Anne knew of her identity, perhaps it was as good a time as any to get word to her family.
But everything she’d heard about Lord Hardwyck’s father made her believe that her high hopes could be all for naught. That man would make sure Alexander threw her in the tower. Maybe she would have a public whipping, and worse, she would probably get the axe. Her father had humiliated Lord Hardwyck by his actions. And throwing her at the mercy of the village folk would do no good. Especially since she herself had not been honest with Alexander.
If only she knew where he stood. Then she might have the confidence she needed to go through with telling him how she felt. But she did know how he felt; at least she thought she did. The way he looked at her, and chased after her had to mean something.
It wasn’t enough though. She needed to hear the words.
Chloe felt split two ways. Should she listen to her true self, or continue the charade? Sure she’d never misrepresented herself to them about her name or her interests, or with her acts of good deeds. Nor had she changed her personality or attitude toward others, she had completely acted as herself. Having been able to escape the constant eyes of her parents, she had been able to do things that she would not have been able to do before, like helping the children and the sick villagers.
All the same, she had not told them of her title, or the fact that she was in danger from the actions of her parents. And the latest new information she had found, that King Henry had wanted her to marry Lord Hardwyck. Even though she’d acted as herself, these last omissions when found out, would alienate her from all. No one would stand behind her. Just like everything and everyone she had cared about, this village and its people that she had grown to love would be ripped away from her.
Perhaps it was a mistake, just a misunderstanding that he wanted her. Maybe it was all one sided. But that can’t be, I felt a spark between us. A lord doesn’t go around riding with commoners, swimming with them and tenderly kissing them does he? But he knew who she was. He knew the whole time according to his story. Perhaps he did it to get back at her for having shamed him. Chloe’s confusion made her feel her lack of experience and years. Her heart clenched for if Nicola was still with her, she could ask her maid for advice. But fate had not been kind.
Never in her life had she encountered a man who she felt this way about. She hoped in her heart that the things he had done with her, said to her, the way he treated her, were because of his feelings for her. He had to have deeper feelings for her, just as she did for him. She refused to believe it was only lust.
Chloe groaned and rubbed her temples. It was all too much. She had to find out—if not she would forever regret it. She loved him, and better to find out if he returned her love than to suffer the rest of her life not knowing.
As Chloe turned back to her chair and sat staring into the small fire in the bed-chamber, she heard a slight knock on the door. With so much going through her mind about what she should do, Chloe contemplated about whether or not she would answer. The tentative knock came again.
She shook herself from her reverie and stood. Straightening her gown and headdress, she went to the door to answer it.
Rebecca, the bawdy housemaid, stood in the corridor, a supreme look of hatred filling her face. This was the woman who Alexander filled his nights with—or so she bragged to her friends. Chloe’s gut churned just thinking about it. How could she have forgotten?
“What can I do for you?” Chloe asked, her shoulders straight.
“I know what yer up to, ye slut.” Rebecca stepped closer, her voice just a hiss.
“Excuse me?” Chloe was taken aback. No one had ever spoken to her that way.
“Ye stay away from my man. His lordship has made a promise to me, and I’ll not be losing out on what’s coming for me, because some little harlot like yerself has come along.”
If the girl could wipe the nasty look off of her face, she would be quite pretty. Chloe could see where Alexander might have found her attractive, but her anger cut her down several degrees.
“My apologies, Rebecca, I’m not quite sure I understand your meaning. But I’m sure you are correct that you won’t be losing out on what’s coming for you.” And Chloe hoped it was a whipping.
“I have my eye on you. Be warned. He’s mine.” With one final sneer screwing up her false angelic face, Rebecca sauntered away.
Chloe closed the door and leaned against it. As if she didn’t have enough dramatics going on in her life, now she had to deal with a jealous housemaid who had her claws dug deeply in Alexander’s arm. What promises had he made her? Why did she feel such a strong sense of ownership?
Chloe shook her head and massaged her temples. Another light tap on the door startled her. What could the chit want now?
“Rebecca, I—”
It wasn’t Rebecca, but Alexander. He raised his brow to her in question. Please don’t ask me about Rebecca. Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask. The last thing she wanted to do was reveal the conversation she’d just had. Just the thought of his sinewy body cradling the maid in his arms brought on a bought of nausea. She was just another one of his playthings.
A pained expression filled Alexander’s face. “Chloe…” His cloudy grey eyes searched.
“Hello, my lord, shouldn’t you be addressing me as Lady Chloe?” She did not open the door any further. She wasn’t sure if she should or not. What was he doing there? Her thoughts were still in so much turmoil.
He raised a brow. “I had thought we were past formalities…” His voice trailed off and he looked around the corridor suspiciously. “May I come in?”
“Yes, of course,” she said, her voice faint. She was giving up the fight. There was nowhere to go but forward and it was time she resigned herself to her fate.
He came into the room and looked around, then turned to her, his sharp gaze holding hers.
“Are you all right, my lord?” she asked, concerned for his health and relieved he hadn’t asked her about Rebecca. “Please come sit, I’ll get you some ale.”
“No ale, I’m fine. We need to talk Chloe. We can not wait any longer, can we?”
Chloe averted her gaze from his intense stare by closing the door. He wanted an answer. She had to know that once he knew the full truth he would not leave her, or throw her in the tower. She had to know if she was just another one of his conquests. Can I ask him? Will he tell me? She decided that she needed to take the plunge and, pride aside, just blurt it out.
“Yes, we do have much to discuss—but Alexander…I am…scared,” she said looking at him through her lowered lashes.
“There is no need to be scared, love, please tell me.” He came up to her and put his arms around her waist pulling her close. The warm length of his body and sensing the love in his eyes, calmed her somewhat. And hadn’t he just called her love?
“Do you love me, Alexander?” she asked, looking straight into his eyes. She held her breath.
He swallowed hard, his eyes darkening. Fear enveloped her.
“I have loved you from the moment I first saw you,” he said, his voice gravelly.
Chloe gulped. “And when was that?”
“When you looked out the window to see me below on the fields outside of South Hearth’s walls.” His fingers gently caressed her face.
She nodded, looking away from him, but his fingers pressed her chin up and forced her eyes back on his.
“Will you never leave me?” she asked.
“I will never leave you. If I have to leave anything, it will be my place here in Hardwyck, and my place as baron. I have other holdings that I have earned on my own and not through my father. I
don’t need the earldom. I love you, Chloe.” As he said it, he leaned down and tenderly kissed her.
She pulled back. “And what of other women? Do you love other women?”
He furrowed his brow, his lips twitched in a smile. “No others. You are the only one who holds my heart.”
His lips brushed again over hers gently, and a lingering heat pulsed through her. He really did love her. But she needed to be sure. She couldn’t just take his word, she hardly knew him, and her own safety prevailed.
“I love you too,” she said and laid her head against his chest, her heart was beating fast, and the emotional turmoil she felt inside was more than she could bear.
“Please Chloe, tell me everything,” he said, resting his chin on the top of her head. “Whatever it is, you needn’t be afraid, I will not abandon you.”
“Let us go for a ride and get some air, Alexander. I am feeling faint.” She pulled away from him and looked pleadingly into his eyes.
His gaze scanned her face, and he seemed to take pity on her. “Let us ride, and then we’ll talk?”
“Yes,” and then as an afterthought, she said softly, “bring my portrait.” She hoped to make it not sound like an order. She was trying as hard as possible to be complacent.
He nodded to her. “I will return for you in a moment.”
He left the room and Chloe hurried to her looking glass to pinch color into her cheeks. She was about to reveal everything and their fates would be decided. Looking at the frightened woman who stared back at her, Chloe was thrust back to a time when she felt as frightened as she now looked. She remembered the pledge she had made to herself to be strong, and forced herself to square her shoulders.
No matter what happened today, she would live with the consequences. She could no longer live the charade.
Alexander returned with the portrait in hand. He had carefully wrapped it in a leather pouch, which he handed to her. “This belongs to you.”
She looked up at him questioningly before taking it. “Thank you.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. He sucked in a breath and rushed on with, “Who is the man in the portrait?”
A light smile touched her lips. “My brother, Jon. He passed away several years ago… during battle.”
He caressed her cheek. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I would have liked to meet your brother.”
Chloe nodded, and leaned into his caress. “It was my fault.”
He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “What was?”
“Jon’s death.”
“But he died in battle, how was it your fault?”
Chloe sighed, her lashes sweeping downward as she stared at the floor. “I insisted on picking flowers by Hadrian’s Wall. My parents told me not to, that several…Englishmen had been seen stalking beyond the castle grounds. They were fearful of an imminent attack. But the prettiest blue and purple flowers grew by the wall and I wanted them so very badly to make a ringlet for my hair. The English took the opportunity to attack then. Jon saved me, but he was cut down in the end.”
“How old were you?”
“I was thirteen.”
“Just a baby. It wasn’t your fault Chloe. Your brother saved your life, and I bet if you could ask him now, he would say he’d do it again. The English would have found a way to attack even if you weren’t at Hadrian’s Wall. They would have taken back South Hearth no matter what. The castle is a border stronghold. Whoever holds it, holds the power.”
Chloe searched Alexander’s face. He truly meant what he said. And it dawned on her then, it wasn’t her fault. They knew the attack was imminent. Her brother would have done anything to protect her and he did. He fought until his last breath was taken, a true warrior.
Alexander took her hand in his, kissing it lightly and led her outside. Only his horse was there and he hoisted her up onto it, and then easily slid into the saddle behind her, placing his strong arm around her waist, and caressing her side lovingly with his hand. She leaned back against him, let her head fall to the side, and held his arm tight against her with her own arms. How comfortable this was, sitting with him, she felt that her body molded perfectly to his. She was shocked to realize how much she trusted this man. He gently nudged Hero forward. Nothing like the last time she’d ridden on the same horse with him. This time he was gentle, loving.
They ignored the villagers that watched as they passed by.
Their ride into the fields was smooth. Alexander bade his stallion to go at a gentle gallop. They didn’t speak, but their bodies together, the way that they clutched each other, said more than words.
They came to a stop in a clearing and Alexander dismounted, lifting her gently down and let her body slide against his as he did. Despite her fear, she reveled in the sensation of his hard body against hers, and turned her head up to him, hoping that he would kiss her. She didn’t have to wait long. He leaned down to her and let his lips brush gently against hers, warm and soft, before pulling away. She felt the loss of his lips on hers acutely. Chloe leaned into his tall frame, her arms wrapping around his neck.
“Kiss me again, my lord.”
“Your wish is my command,” he whispered, kissing her lightly.
Chloe leaned up on her tiptoes, pressing against him, to deepen the kiss. Although raw desire had assaulted her body when they had first kissed in the woods, and again in the water, now it was different. The feelings that were coursing through her were intense, made more so, knowing that he loved her.
The hair on her scalp and the back of her neck rose on end, the expanse of her skin was covered in gooseflesh, and a warm tingle grew in her belly. Lord Hardwyck’s hand lifted to gently hold her face as he pressed his lips more firmly to hers. She parted her lips as his tongue swept in to take what she offered. A thrill of excitement lurched through her, making Chloe yearn for more of the wonderful feelings kissing could bring.
As their mouths slanted again and again, Lord Hardwyck wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted Chloe gently off her feet. She tightened her hold on him and completely surrendered. Never before would she have dreamed of this. She couldn’t imagine her life without Lord Hardwyck in it. In just a few short months, he’d so entrenched himself in her mind and heart, that were he to deny himself to her, she wasn’t sure life was worth living.
When Chloe let out a low moan of pleasure Lord Hardwyck roughly broke the kiss, his breathing ragged. She gazed at him, her eyes feeling cloudy, dazed. He had taken all of her senses away. She’d forgotten where she was and had only been living in the kiss.
“We must stop before it goes further,” Alexander whispered. “I don’t trust myself not to lose control.”
He caressed the side of her face with his hand. She didn’t want it to stop, she hungered for him with an urgency she’d never felt before. If they were to go as far as they had before, she would let him finish, let him sink deeply into her body.
He set her gently back on the ground and took her hand, grabbing a satchel he had on the back of his horse and walked with her to a soft patch of grass below an oak tree. Her heart did a little skip. He walked slightly ahead of her, leading the way. She admired the way his muscles flexed beneath his clothes. He was dressed in his usual long hose and a soft wool tunic of silver and black, in a diamond shaped pattern. The fabric, looked to be quite warm and easily showed off the muscles of his arms. She adored his dress, and dreamed of the day that she could get out of her cheap commoner’s clothes and match him just as wonderfully in beautifully made attire.
He opened his satchel and laid down a wool blanket and a jug of wine. He motioned for her to sit, and she did.
Handing her the jug of wine, she gladly took a sip before giving it back to him. Alexander took a long swallow and then laid down on the blanket, his arms folded beneath his head. He looked so relaxed, so calm.
“I do love this land. What a pity it would be if we had to leave.” He let out a long sigh.
Chloe bit her lip. She didn
’t want them to have to leave either. She’d grown to love Hardwyck and the people, and more especially…Alexander. He said we. Then she realized the rest of what he’d said. He was willing to give up so much for her, but was she willing to let him do that?
Chloe took a long sigh as she gazed at Alexander. His eyes met hers, and locked. Chloe wished that the moment would never end.
“Alexander I…” she started but couldn’t finish. How could she tell him they shouldn’t be together if it meant he would have to give up everything he cherished?
He rolled to his side, lifting up on his elbow, and rested his head in his hand. He took her hand in his.
“So many secrets Chloe. Have I not made it clear that I love you, and that I am willing to give up all for you? I don’t even know much about you, and yet I swear I would die for you.” With his gaze he willed her to look up at him. Something in his eyes made her feel comfortable. Suddenly she was not afraid anymore. She knew that she trusted him, and she believed all that he had told her.
She stared at his handsome face. How had it come to be that they were together? How with so much confusion and turmoil they still ended up together and in love was quite a miracle.
“Alexander, I love you so much, and I trust you.” She grabbed hold of his hands as she said this and buried her head in his chest. He stroked the back of her head with his huge hand. He lifted her face to his and tenderly kissed her on each cheek, before laying a sweet soft kiss on her lips.
“Tell me who you are, love. Tell me. I love you and I want to know who loves me back.” As he said these words, he kissed all the parts on her face.
The time had come to tell him all. No longer could she hide behind the mask, the charade. He deserved that much and more.
She took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. Although he already knew her name, her family, it still felt like she was confessing so much to him. She wanted him to look into her eyes as she said it, she wanted him to see all the love that she had for him. Would he forgive her for deceiving him for so long?
Daring Damsels Page 22
