by Myers, J. L.
Upstairs in my room I dumped my bag on the carpet before flopping onto my bed. Today sucked! And I still had algebra homework and a paper on Freud’s Theory of the Unconscious to get started on.
With another sigh I pulled my iPod from my bag, playing the Three Days Grace song ‘Let you down’. I peered past the mauve tapestry draped around the corner post of my bed. Through the high-arched window the cloudy sky was darkening. Ty flitted to mind and I wondered again how I could know him. Something about him kept me speculating and totally uneasy. I wondered how long it’d take before I let everyone down and tried, maybe even succeeded, in killing him. There was only one solution. Stay away. Better never to know him than to kill him.
I rolled off the bed and glanced around the room, my room. It was so big, with walls and a high ceiling all in varying shades of purple. There was a hint of paint fumes, and I wondered if Caius or Mom had organized it to be painted before we arrived. A white antique dresser sat across the room with an oval mirror spanning its length. Two side tables flanked the disarray of my oversized, purple bed. Above a lavish chandelier with glittering, crystal teardrops filled the room with twinkling light. Their design mirrored the others that marked almost every room in this expansive house. Even with my Lifehouse, Three Days Grace, and Skillet posters splashed across the walls, the room still felt bare. Nothing else in this room was really mine. It was all new, compliments of our wealthy vampire uncle. I hadn’t kept anything else from my old life in Anchorage, bar a few comfortable clothes. At the time I had wanted to be punished for the thing I was becoming. Now, seeing this big empty space, I wish I had kept something more that reminded me of a time when I thought of myself as almost normal, just a human.
I turned back to the window and yanked the dark-purple drapes closed. Then, with the weight of the day bringing me down, I dropped back onto the bed and flicked off the black-velvet lamp. The song ‘Animal I have become’ came on and my iPhone beeped. Instantly my mood lifted, expecting the text to be from Kendrick. Then it sank. It wasn’t him.
‘Wanna grab a bite after I kick your brother’s butt?’
It was Ty. How had he gotten my number? Then I remembered art class when Vanessa had requested my number. She gave it to Ty?
My pulse quickened and I sighed, throwing my head back against the pillows. So much for keeping my distance… Pursing my lips, I read the text again and frowned. Grab a bite? That phrasing made my paranoia kick in.
Hold up. My eyes bugged. Was he actually asking me out? Or was this just some kind of ploy to figure out why I was such a freak? Or was it even worse, a cruel prank on the strange ‘new girl’? In truth, I couldn’t imagine Ty actually wanting to go anywhere with me. Not after how moronically I had behaved at lunch. I shrugged. No matter what his motivations were, I knew my answer and keyed in a response. ‘Can’t. Busy.’
Anxious he’d reply I stared at the screen. My free hand rifled through my bedside table’s drawer for my hidden after dinner mints. Chocolate always helped calm my nerves. After a few minutes without reply and four chocolates later, I breathed a sigh of relief, turning the music back on.
When the phone unexpectedly beeped again, I almost jumped out of my skin. But the text wasn’t from Ty. ‘What’s new? How’s school?’
Warmth coated my heart like warm honey. It was Kendrick, my best friend, the one whose help and guidance had been the only thing to get me through the long months at the cabin. I keyed a response, ‘School sucks! WYWH.’ Wish you were here. I clutched the phone to my heart.
Salty tears blurred my vision, and I blinked them back. Before this moment I hadn’t allowed myself to dwell on it. But without Kendrick’s support, I truly felt alone, like I was drowning in my own blood. I knew I had Mom and Dorian, and that they would do anything for me. But it just wasn’t the same.
A final text came through. ‘Maybe I can visit. But I GTG. Miss U 2.’
CHAPTER FIVE
At the first opportunity, I vaulted off the bus and darted behind it. My hands braced against my knees while I sucked crisp, untainted air into my lungs.
It was Thursday; only three days since Mom had signed the bloody permission slips, which any and all arguing hadn’t gotten me out of. The bus ride to the White Mountains in a stuffy, packed-to-the-brim coach had been long, way too long. I had been seated up front, blockaded by Dorian against a window. Still the urge to turn on everyone trapped within the slow-moving vessel was overwhelming. Not even my supposed reprieve, the menthol nasal tube that I hid in a clenched fist fearing anyone might catch sight of it, could deter my wicked thoughts. The collective scent of blood, heightened by not only Ty but Troy’s too, was far too pungent.
Now at our destination, the beautiful and dense green forests of the White Mountains, everyone poured off the bus. Groups of twelve were being arranged as Dorian sidled up behind the bus, finding me still curled in on myself. He patted a supportive hand across my back while the geography teacher announced his name into group one with Mrs. Ruby. When I finally got placed into group three with Mr. McKenna from psychology, I groaned.
Dorian hauled me upright. “It’s outside, fresh air. Just tail behind your group,” he said with a squeeze on my arms. “You can do this.”
I felt tempted to chuck a pink fit. But I knew Dorian wasn’t about to demand the teacher move me, not when his eyes were already wandering to a group of pretty girls. Besides, there was no way in hell I could argue the point myself, surrounded by blood-scented teens, without the possibility of letting my fangs loose. “I hate this.”
Dorian sighed, then half-smiled, lowering his voice so that only I could hear him. “Think of it this way. If you lose it, you only have to kill everyone in your group. That’s only twelve people. And I’m sure there are plenty of good places to stash bodies out here.” He brushed his hands together. “No witnesses, no crime.”
“That’s not funny!” I swung my fist to connect with Dorian’s stomach, but he jerked back just in time.
“Call me if you need,” he said, lifting his mobile from his pocket as he backed up to his group. “I’ll always back you up.”
Left with no escape, I sighed. My assigned group had already taken off up the winding gravel path. Now Mr. McKenna was calling for me to hurry up. Trailing far behind, I sucked in a deep breath of fresh air. Then instantly wished I hadn’t. A much too familiar scent intruded as the crunch of gravel reached my ears. The sound was approaching from behind. No, please no.
My heart jumped into my throat and I whirled. Ty and Troy were bounding straight for me. Troy passed by, face stormy as he caught up with the front of the group. Ty however slowed, falling in step beside me. The smell of his blood mingled with a touch of chlorine in the air. Picking up my pace, I groaned internally. There must have been swim practice before school. I forced my view from him and onto the dense surrounding scrub, which breathed life with a spectrum of colored, wild flora. If only the raw beauty were enough to distract me from him.
“So,” Ty said with clear hesitation. “What about coffee, as friends?”
His proximity made my mouth water, and I knew he had spoken. But above the irregular beating of his heart, I hadn’t been able to concentrate enough to hear the words. Instead, I dug into my jeans pocket with shaky hands and retrieved the nasal tube. Before I could think twice, I lifted it to my nose. Then I cringed. Now Ty had seen me use a nasal decongestant. Great!
“Sorry, what?” Hiding the tube back in my pocket, I glanced at Ty. I fully expected to find his expression guarded with a look that said you’re a nerd! Only Ty wasn’t staring at me like I was a nerd. He was smiling, a curious and confident smile that brought warmth to my cheeks.
“Coffee, as friends…”
I hated coffee with a passion. Give me hot chocolate any day. Wait, was Ty asking me out? Not that it mattered. What did matter was that I not give in to my primal instincts. And I could only do that if I eliminated my biggest temptation.
“Look Ty,” I said, keeping my eyes ahea
d. My fingers itched to raise the decongestant to my nose again. “You need to stay away from me.”
“And why is that?” Ty’s voice sounded amused and light, devoid of the confusion I had expected given my words.
Because I’m a monster, and every moment I’m near you I contemplate ripping your throat out to drain every last drop of your sweet-smelling blood. I glanced back at him, studying him head-to-toe. His black hair shimmered in the broken sunlight that filtered through the thick canopy above. The black shirt that clung to his body emphasized his defined arms and abs. His casual, black jeans were torn across one knee. In so many ways he appeared like a regular teenage boy. Yet in others he was distinctly different. Ty’s eyes were watching me, the green of his irises sparkling.
Knowing he was waiting for me to respond, I drew in a deep breath. “Because, I’m not someone you want to know.”
Ty’s smile didn’t waver, nor did his forehead crease with misunderstanding. It was like my response hadn’t confused him, almost like he had expected it. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
My stomach churned. What did he want from me? The notion that Dorian could have been right crossed my mind. That Ty was, for some unconscionable reason, attracted to me. Just as fast as the thought flooded my mind, I shook it away, laughing internally. No, I told myself. He can’t be. Dorian was wrong. Because if Ty did watch me the same way I watched him, then that would mean that I would have to be attracted to Ty, too. Me, a monster, drawn to my prey for more than just its flesh and blood.
I shook my head. “Please, Ty.” I hated having to say the words. But I had to. It was the only way. My arms clamped over my chest, almost bracing as I glared through the trees and into the surrounding mountainside. It was so beautiful and peaceful, a stark contrast to how I felt. “Just leave me alone.”
“Fine,” Ty said, picking up his pace beside me. That one word as he half-stalked away from me stung, like pins poking through my flesh and into my stomach. I stumbled, pulling to a stop, coiled arms lowering to tighten around my gut. You don’t like him. You want to kill him. This is best for everyone. The words did little to reassure me, or to lift the discomfort I felt. I took a ragged breath and forced my body to straighten, arms dropping to my sides. Non-tainted air swirled through my lungs, washing away some of the sting from my insides. It was just his blood, I assured myself. Still a little voice inside my head that I couldn’t quite dislodge whispered that I was deluding myself, believing only what I wanted to believe.
Needing a distraction to quell the contradicting voices in my head, I pulled my purple-cased iPod from my pocket. I sighed, missing Kendrick. Then I plugged in my earbuds and blasted the words to Red’s song ‘Fight Inside’. The sting of their words reflected my constant struggle to hide the monster inside of me. The monster I would always be.
Slowing my pace helped dull the scent of the group’s blood, including his. After walking for almost an hour, I began to relax, began to believe that maybe Dorian had been right. Maybe I could do this.
When the group neared the summit, the taste of salt in the air intensified from their perspiring bodies. The group had paused for a break at the lookout, and everyone was peering out over the timber railing. I paused further down the track, keeping my distance while watching the group. Ty stood to one side of the students before a damaged piece of railing. There was bright yellow ‘caution’ tape cordoning off the hazard. Troy stood by his side. His face as usual, was strained as he spoke to Ty with clear agitation. I felt tempted to remove my earbuds. Picking up their conversation even from this distance, a good sixty feet away, would be easy. But I decided I really didn’t want to hear what Troy was bitching about. Even if I did suspect it had everything to do with me.
When the group resumed their course, following the now rocky path back into the depths of the forest, I ambled up to the same spot Ty and Troy had been standing. I pulled my earbuds from my ears, peering out into the plunging valley. Splashes of green, gold and deep-russet covered the treetops with the progression of fall. Above, a single Falcon soared through the air. Its repetitive call was like a fire alarm on overdrive as it dipped and dived beneath a cloudless, pastel-blue sky.
The air around me was crisp and perfectly clear. Time to move on. I craned my head. The other students were making ground down the path. Ty was tailing a few feet behind. I was about to take after them, when I stalled. The fiery and sweet smell of blood, his blood, reached me.
Before I could speak or move, Troy appeared before me. His expression was dark and his scent wrapped around me. “Don’t even think about it.”
Had he seen me looking at Ty? Folding barricading arms over my chest, I took a much needed step back. “Think about what?”
“Trying your luck with Ty,” he practically snarled. His hand hovered over the pocket of his jacket as if about to pull something free.
I stole a glace down the long pathway, but it was empty. The group and Ty were already gone.
“It’s not like he actually likes you,” Troy went on, hatred poisoning his words. “Anything nice he says to you is pure pity. You’re a freak of nature. He regrets not having dealt with you when he had the chance.”
Freak of nature? Dealt with me? Irritated confusion brought fire to my face. And the smell of him so close had my fangs peeking through the top of my gums. Sick of this guy’s cryptic bullshit, I unfolded my arms and clenched my hands. “Look, you steroid-jacked jerk. I don’t know what your problem is or what the hell you’re talking about…”
“I’m warning you,” he grated, stepping close enough to poke me in the chest.
My fangs broke free and I darted back, knowing I’d lunge and bite him if I didn’t. Wrong choice. My Vans slipped on the loose stones at the edge of the cliff. Then my back hit the ‘caution’ tape, snapping it on impact. Instantly my mind and body came alive. Everything was happening in slow motion. A good thirty feet down was a small outcropping. Not enough to kill a vampire, but a human? Definitely. I could leap forward, clearing Troy and saving my skin. But at what cost? My cover would be blown. No, the only human option was to fall.
Suddenly a hand shot out of nowhere, collecting my wrist in a heated vice-grip. I blinked, bewildered as Ty hauled me to safety. My body flew forward through the air until my feet hit solid ground. “Are you okay?”
No, I’m not okay. I almost had to fall off a cliff because your so-called friend got in my face, I thought, struggling to retract my fangs with the double-up of their scent. Instead I said, “Where the hell did you come from?”
Ty narrowed his eyes over his shoulder at Troy. “Leave us.”
Troy shrugged. “Whatever.” He turned without a word or even a glance at me to jog down the beaten track.
Ty threw a glance down the path. “I heard arguing, and when I came back around the corner I saw you and Troy. I’d almost reached you when you stepped back into the caution tape.”
I remembered looking down the empty path before the fall. Could Ty have gotten to us that quickly? Doubt weighed against my mind. He was apparently a good swimmer, but was he a fast runner too?
Ty’s lips parted with a broadening smile. “So, how are you going to repay me?”
Wrinkling my nose, I frowned. “Repay you for what?”
Ty arched one eyebrow. The honey of his irises appeared brighter, reflecting a pale shadow of my face. “For saving your life.”
“Oh,” I said, trying to ignore the still lingering cloud of his scent. “Thanks.” I looked up as Ty brushed the tousled hair from his eyes. “I guess I owe you my life.”
Ty smiled but shook his head. “No. Just a date…”
CHAPTER SIX
Late on Friday afternoon, I stood outside the double doors to the indoor pool. My forehead pressed against the small, square window. Time between the excursion yesterday and this very moment had flown by in the blink of an eye. My paranoia over Troy’s words, “You’re a freak of nature,” and something about Ty dealing with me, pressed on my
mind. Everything he said was cryptic. But could he really know our terrible secret?
Overshadowing that mind mess was that fact that I had, with much reluctance, agreed to Ty’s date, as long as my mom agreed. And surprise, surprise, she had, stating that at sixteen most girls had already been on their first dates. Thanks to that, I hadn’t been able to sleep last night. Now I was stuck with a problem, and it was all catching up with me. Ty and Dorian were about to race. Then straight after, I’d be expected to go on a date with Ty.
With a deep, preparatory breath, I pushed through the double doors and instantly almost fell back against them. The thick, chlorine-soaked air hit me like a face full of boiling water. It was so lung-burningly pungent, that it almost drowned out the scent of human blood. Almost. Worried my weird behavior was drawing attention, my eyes darted around the room. The swim team with their matching speedos took up the three bottom right rows of bleachers. A few held black and gold banners. They matched the ones strung around the metal-clad walls, with ‘Go Sharks’ and ‘Ty is Number One!’ printed across them. Vanessa sat on the other side of the bleachers with Troy, holding a fashion magazine and whispering. Ty, thank God, was nowhere in sight.
I rushed up to Dorian who was at the starting blocks and revving himself up for the race. A fresh wave of trepidation flooded my chest. It was a long shot, but I had to try one last time to get him to reconsider. “Dorian,” I whispered, confident the swim team’s chatter would keep my words from being overheard.
“Wow,” he said, looking a little surprised. “I thought you were just tired this morning. Now it’s the end of the day and you still look like shit.”
I frowned at the insult, but I knew his words held truth. I couldn’t stop worrying about my date with Ty. I’d barley slept at all last night. And with the swim-off fast approaching, even when awake my mind had been racing. “Thanks, just what I needed to hear.” The weight of Troy’s sneering eyes tunneled into me, and I turned away. “Dorian, please,” I whispered, eyes pleading. “Pull out of the race. I have a terrible feeling.”
