by E. M. Leya
"I can't."
"Good."
Sage lifted his head to stare at him. "We staying like this all night?"
"Yeah." Gary relaxed his legs on either side of Sage's body.
"Okay." Sage rested his head back down on Gary's chest.
Several more moments of silence and Gary shifted. "I have to pee."
Sage laughed as he rose up and pulled out of Gary. "So much for sleeping on the couch."
"You can wait here for me." Gary sat up.
Sage shook his head. "I'd rather meet you back in bed."
"Go ahead and go. I'll get the lights and lock up and meet you there." Gary kissed him softly as he stood up.
Sage slapped his ass. "Don't make me wait."
Gary shook his head. He'd waited enough for Sage, he wasn't about to wait any more.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Gary watched as Sage reorganized the front display case. Four days they had spent together, and other than for Sage to go down and talk to Everest or run and get them lunch, the two of them hadn't spent a moment apart.
Gary couldn't remember ever being happier. He set the inventory sheet he'd been looking at down and walked over to stand beside Sage. "Thank you for doing that." He placed his hand on Sage's shoulder.
Sage looked up and smiled from where he knelt next to the case. "I'm glad to help. It's a nice change. You need a new bulb for that light in the case, though. Other one is burned out."
"I'll grab one later. I have a bunch stashed in back." His fingers moved to stroke over Sage's neck. "You want to go out to dinner tonight? If not we need to stop at the store and get something."
Sage frowned, stood, and turned to face Gary. "I'm going to have to go home later tonight. I have to get back to work."
He wasn't dumb enough to think that things could go on like they had the last few days, but he hated the thought of being apart. "I guess I've kept you away long enough."
"We can get dinner somewhere after work and then I will go. Everest says there is a new site we found and they want me to lead the excavation."
"I would love to have your job. You must see the most amazing things."
Sage wrapped his arms around Gary's waist. "Not as amazing as what I'm looking at now." He dipped his head and kissed him.
Gary melted against him, returning the kiss with passion that never seemed to fade between them. They had talked about everything possible over the last few days, and the more Gary learned about Sage, the more they found they had in common. Any feelings he had for Sage before were doubled now. He was hopelessly falling in love with the man.
Sage smiled against his lips. "I love when you look up at me that way."
"Then kiss me again and I will," Gary teased.
The sound of the bell ringing over the door kept the kiss from happening as they both turned. Gary smiled, seeing Derrick walk in.
"Looks like you two worked things out." Derrick smiled, sounding genuinely happy for them.
"You could say that." Gary kept one arm around Sage's waist. "How are you?"
"Good. Came to see if you planned on doing any diving soon. I'm getting restless." Derrick leaned against the counter.
"I hadn't really thought about it, but I could give Tony a call and see if he's up for it. Gary glanced at Sage. "Will you join us next time?"
Sage stiffened. "I will try. All depends when you go. With a new site to explore, I might be busier than usual. Let me know once you two figure out a time. I would like to go if I can."
Sage looked sincere but his body language said different. Gary didn't want to think about it right now. He focused his attention on Derrick. "So what have you been up to?"
"Working long days. Got a new account with a major company. They have us putting in overtime while we work on things. Tension around the office is horrible." Derrick fingered a T-shirt that was folded on the case. "How did the art show turn out? You sold everything?"
"I did. The owner called yesterday and asked if I wanted to display four more at his shop."
Sage tightened his arm around Gary. "I told him he had nothing to worry about. His work is amazing."
"It is," Derrick agreed. "I couldn't believe how good when I saw it."
"Thanks." Gary's face heated. "I'm still in shock that I can make money off something I enjoy doing."
"Not many can. You should be proud." Sage kissed Gary's cheek.
"I need to try something besides seascapes though."
"Why? It could be your thing. There is no rule that says you have to do anything different." Derrick nodded at Sage. "I didn't hear anyone complain about the sexy paintings of him in the water. In fact most comments I heard were pretty complimentary."
"I can't just paint Sage." Gary laughed. "I thought maybe once things slow down here for the winter, I might head to the mountains for a few days and try some other scenes."
"Camping trip?" Derrick smiled.
"That's a fantastic idea." Gary pulled away from Sage but looked at him. "You'd go with right? We could make it a group camping trip over the weekend sometime."
Sage frowned. "Camping?"
"Yeah. I haven't been since I was a Boy Scout. It would be fun." Gary watched Sage's face, trying to read the expression. He got the feeling Sage wasn't too excited about going camping.
He tried not to think too much of it, but first scuba diving and now camping. It seemed Sage didn't want to do anything with him.
"We will have to see on that, too. If I can get away." Sage looked uncomfortable and wouldn't meet Gary's eyes.
"Well I'm game. Maybe your friend Tony and his wife will join us," Derrick said.
Gary laughed. "You won't get Tina anywhere near camping. She doesn't go more than ten feet from her hairdryer. I've never met a more spoiled woman. But Tony might sneak away and come. His brother Travis, too."
"Well let's plan something. It would be fun." Derrick glanced at his watch. "I need to go. I promised a guy at work I would drop by for a beer tonight. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Derrick looked at Sage.
"I'm fine." Gary took Sage's hand. "We worked everything out. Thanks for worrying about me, though."
"No problem. I will drop by soon or give you a call." Derrick waved as he headed out the door.
Gary looked at Sage. "You don't like him do you?"
Sage sighed. "It's not that I don't like him, he cares a lot about you. He is a good friend."
"But you're jealous of him, right?"
"Yes." Sage pulled Gary to him. "He didn't hide his feelings for you. He admitted that he hoped to get with you. I know now that I'm back he has backed off, but it doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with the fact someone else wants what is mine."
Gary's heart fluttered at Sage's words. "You know I don't want anyone else. Even when you were gone I didn't want anyone."
"I know, but it doesn't change how I feel. Jealousy is healthy in small doses, right?" Sage brushed his lips over Gary's jaw.
"I guess. I just want you secure that I want only you. I like Derrick as a friend, but nothing more." Gary gave Sage's hand a squeeze. "Let me lock up and we can go grab something to eat."
"Want to get takeout and go eat on the beach?" Sage went to the door and closed it, turning the sign to closed.
"Yeah. That sounds nice." Gary flipped off the lights. "I'm not real hungry. We could just grab hotdogs from the cart down the street if you want."
Sage licked his lips as he turned to Gary with a heated look. "Not what would be my first choice, but since devouring you on the beach would get us in trouble, it will have to do."
Gary stepped to his side. "You're insatiable."
"And you love it."
"I do."
Gary slapped his ass.
Sage caught Gary's hand and turned to face him, his face growing very serious. "I can't get enough of you."
Gary shifted nervously. "I've been thinking. We spend so much time together anyway, I know it's soon, but I know how I feel about you. Maybe
we could think about moving in together?"
Sage didn't shy away like Gary thought he would at the idea.
"I've thought about that as well, but I want to wait a bit. I need to make sure this transition with my brothers and the business goes smooth. With the new excavation, I might be sleeping on the boat a bit. I'm not saying no, but let's wait just a bit longer." Sage lifted Gary's chin up with his finger. "I need to work a few things out before I can commit to that big of a change."
Gary understood. A maybe was more than he expected. "Okay."
"Let's go get our hotdogs. If we move fast we can still catch the sunset."
Gary stepped outside and waited for Sage to exit before locking the door. The two of them walked hand in hand down the street to the small hotdog stand. Five minutes later, they were headed toward the beach.
Once they hit the sand, they found a quiet area and sat down to eat. Gary sipped at his soda as he watched the sun slowly sink into the ocean. "How do you and your family find new sites to explore?"
Sage swallowed the bite he'd just taken. "We study old wrecks and try to locate them. Sometimes it's just luck. More times than not we fail to find anything. It makes it that much more exciting when we finally do find something. There is nothing better than pulling something up that has been buried in the ocean for hundreds of years."
Gary loved the passion Sage had for his work. "Could I go out with you sometime? Even just stay on the boat?"
Gary didn't miss the way Sage once again stiffened and hesitated before he spoke. "We could see. I would have to check with the insurance company and see how we could do that."
That made sense. What they did had to be dangerous. "If we can ever pull it off, I would like it."
"I'll talk to Heath and see what we need to do." Sage reached for his drink. "It's not really that exciting. At least from the boat. Long hours waiting and wondering if we are going to find anything."
"I'll just have to bring a book, or maybe I could paint."
"Another ocean scene?" Sage teased.
Gary smiled and shrugged. "It's what I know."
"If I could paint, I would paint nothing else than you naked in bed." Sage reached over and wiped a bit of ketchup off Gary's lip.
"I could paint you naked in bed, but I'm afraid those I could never put up for sale. I want you all to myself. I don't want anyone else to know how good you look naked." Gary smiled. "It's not like we could display those in the living room."
"True." Sage laughed. "God, I'm going to miss being with you. I promise I will be back tomorrow after work."
Gary set his drink down and pulled out his phone. "Will you give me your number?"
Sage paled. "I don't have a phone."
Gary shook his head as anger started to grow. "Everyone has a phone."
"Honest, Gary, I don't. I don't have a phone. Have you ever seen me with one?"
Gary meet Sage's stare. "Then how about your address? Any way to contact you."
Sage took a deep breath. "I don't have one to give you."
Pain radiated through Gary's chest and he was sure it was his heart breaking. "You can't think I will believe that."
"It's true. I don't have a house." Sage reached for Gary's hand. "Please, don't do this. I can't explain it all right now. I'm not lying to you. I use Everest's shop as a mailing address. You can ask him."
Gary pulled his hand away. He couldn't do this again. He wasn't going to let Sage come and go from his life and not give him any way to get hold of him. Everyone had an address, a phone number. He shook his head. "I can't do this again, Sage. I can't wonder where you are and have no way to get hold of you. It killed me last time. I don't know what you're hiding, but I can't be with you and deal with the secrets."
"Gary, please listen…"
"To what, Sage? More lies?" He stood and reached for his drink, ready to leave. "I thought things had changed. You don't want to do anything with me if it means going out. Diving, camping, you name it. You just want me home in bed and when you leave, you don't want me to have any way to contact you. Well, I'm sorry. I need more. I need trust, honesty, and someone who wants a real relationship. I can't do this anymore." Tears stung his eyes as he turned and walked away. He blinked them back, refusing to cry in public. He picked up his pace, trying to make it back to the shop before he lost it. He was so stupid to think that someone like Sage could really want him. He'd been a fool to listen to his words and think they had a future. He cringed when he thought about how he had asked him to move in. Sage had to be laughing at him. What a fool he was.
With more force than was needed, he tossed his drink in the garbage can he passed. He heard Sage call for him, but he didn't bother looking back. It was better this way. He couldn't go through another three weeks like before.
Who the hell didn't have a phone number or address. It wasn't like Sage didn't have a job or money. He'd seen the credit cards and cash in his wallet. Sage insisted on paying most the time, only letting Gary pay when he put up a fight.
Unlocking the shop he entered and then slammed the door closed again. Leaving the lights off, he sank to the floor and cried.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Sage watched Gary until he disappeared from sight. He blinked back the tears from his eyes, but they fell down his cheeks anyway. As much as he wanted to go after him, he didn't. It wasn't fair to Gary. Nothing was going to change. He couldn't give him what he needed. He'd been a fool to think this could ever work.
He turned away and stared out over the ocean, hating what he was. He sacrificed so much because of it, but nothing ever hurt like this. Losing Gary was a new kind of pain. One where his heart was being pulled from his chest as emptiness flowed through him. Everything he was up to this moment didn't matter because everything he wanted to be had just walked away.
He kicked at the sand as he wiped the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand. He could fix this. He could go get a phone, rent a house. Tell Gary he was sorry. He could fake it for as long as he could. But that wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to live with the lies anymore. Gary deserved better and he wouldn't cheapen what they had with more deception.
He picked up the garbage they left and headed down the beach. No matter how bad he wanted to go to Gary, he kept walking the other way. It was best for it to end now. The pain would fade, Gary would move on. Sooner or later he would forget him all together. Sage on the other hand would never forget.
The waves stirred against the beach and Sage started to run, putting even more distance between him and the man he wanted. His feet sank into the sand, forcing him to work for each step and before long sweat dripped down his body along with the tears.
Another half-mile and he made it to the cove where his people came to shore. He slowed to a walk as he glanced around him, making sure he was alone. The rocks hid him from view once he made his way deeper into the cove.
He kicked at the sand, angry with himself for letting it come to this. He had no right messing with a human. He knew better. Even with the new laws Heath would put in place, the secret was too big to live with. There would be no way to hide what he was.
Gary had reminded him of that today when he asked to go camping. There would be no way Sage could ever go. To be away from the salt water that long would kill him. Even in the four days he'd been with Gary just now, he had to sneak away twice for a quick swim in the ocean where he shifted and gave his body the chance to reenergize, and let the salt water sink into his skin.
How could he ever live with Gary and continue to have to make excuses and tell him lies to hide his true form? It would never last.
Stripping off his clothes, he searched the rocks, hoping that someone had left behind a dry bag. He could care less about leaving his clothes behind, but he needed his wallet. After five minutes of searching under rocks and in crevices, he finally found one.
Sage shoved his clothes inside and sealed it before tying it to his wrist. With a final glance around him, he stepped into the wa
ter, walking out until the water covered his head before shifting and finally diving into the water, wishing it would wash all his memories away.
He swam hard back to the cave, ignoring the dolphins who called to him, wanting to play. They watched him curiously, but left him alone, as if they could sense his mood and knew better than to approach.
Once at the cave he lifted himself out of the water and hurried to his chamber where he could be alone. The last thing he needed right now was to deal with his brothers or the politics of the clan. The fate of the people was the last thing on his mind right now.
Lying naked on his bed, he curled up in his blankets, closing his eyes, and praying that he could sleep. He wondered what Gary was doing, where he was, what he was thinking. It only made the pain worse. He could imagine the things Gary thought of him. All true, but not for the reasons he would think.
God, why couldn't life be different. If only both humans and his people could live together in peace. He rolled to his back, covering his eyes with his arm, still fighting tears.
"Sage?" Barron's voice called from the entrance.
"Go away, Bar. I'm not in the mood." Sage didn't bother looking up.
"You sick?" Barron's voice was closer.
"Yes." Sage rolled to his side.
"What's wrong?" Barron's hand touched his shoulder.
"I said go away."
"Not until I know you're okay."
Sage lifted his arm and stared at his brother. "I'm fine, okay? Now go."
Barron stared at him. "What happened?"
"Doesn't matter. Just leave me alone, please."
"No." Barron sat down on the stone bed. "You've been crying. Talk to me."
Sage shook his head. "It's stupid."
"Obviously not to you."
"I'll be fine, Barron. Honest."
Barron sat silent for several moments. He stood and went to the other side of the chamber, looking through the things on Sage's stone dresser. "Everest tells me you met someone. A human."
"I did, but it's over."
"By choice?"
Sage didn't answer.
