by E. M. Leya
"Both. We hunt and swim in this form, but when we are home, in the caves or on land like I am with you, we are in human form."
"But you're not human, are you?"
Sage frowned. "No. I'm not human."
Gary nodded, but remained silent.
"Can we talk? Can you deal with this?"
Gary took a deep breath. He just didn't know what to think. "We can talk."
"I'll cook you dinner? We can talk over things while we eat?" Sage closed his eyes and shifted back.
Gary watched the glimmer of light and then Sage pulled himself up out of the water. The fin was gone and two legs replaced it. He looked as normal as he always had. "How do you do that?"
Sage smiled as water dripped down his body. "I don't know how it works. I only have to think about it. Call to the power inside me."
"Do you have to be in water?"
"No, but it makes it easier. I can't move well once I shift and it can be hard to get to the water. I seldom shift out of the water." Sage stepped toward Gary.
Gary took a step back. "How many of you are there?"
Sage frowned as Gary moved back. "Millions. We are scattered around the world." He pulled the tie from his hair. "Please don't fear me."
"I'm trying. It's just…" He shook his head. "I'm having trouble believing this. I feel like I'm going to wake up any moment."
"Let's go eat. Maybe it will get easier the more we talk about it." Sage reached for his clothes and started to dress.
Gary nodded, but he wasn't sure anything could help him accept what he'd just seen.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Sage watched Gary from across the table. They spoke little as they worked together to make a quick dinner of sandwiches. He wasn't sure who did the shopping here, but he was glad there was a full fridge to choose from.
Gary surprised him with how well he was taking the revelation he just tossed at him. He expected more fear, more anger, more something. He was almost scared of the silence he was facing instead.
"Everest is one as well? He's really your brother?" Gary asked, suddenly breaking the silence.
"Yes. We have the same father." Sage took a sip of his water.
"How is that possible if there are no women?"
Sage frowned. This was the part of his history he hated to tell. He took a deep breath. "We are required by law to mate with a human female once in our lives. Male children carry the gene, but female children do not. When a male turns of age, about eighteen, he is brought to live with us. They can't shift until they come of age. Until then they are left with the mother."
"You just take them from the mothers?" Gary paled.
"Not anymore. Years ago, that would happen. Children taken in the night and forced to forget about their lives among the humans. That is how it happened with me. Times have changed and so have our ways. Now the father plays a part in the child's life. As he nears age, we reveal what we are. What they will become. The child comes to live with us, just as if he goes off to college. The choice is left to them if they choose to keep a relationship with their mother. Some do, others don't. The mother is never told of us. She thinks her son has moved out of state, working, or going to school. The son visits and maintains a relationship with her if he chooses."
Gary frowned. "That doesn't seem fair to force them to leave."
Sage nodded. "That is one of the reasons I was arrested. My father was the king of our people. He refused to change ways. Adapt to modern times. My brothers and I stood up to him, threatened to have him removed from the throne. He had us locked away." He brushed his hand through his hair. "It's a long story and I will share it all with you in time, but now, I just want you to understand. Our laws and ways are changing. One of those changes is that we will be allowed to live among the humans. Mate and have relationships with them. No longer will the child have to leave their mother. They can live at home as long as they have salt water near."
"You can't live without water?" Gary picked at the meat on his sandwich.
"No. We can go maybe three days without shifting. The salt water is absorbed into our skin. It sustains us. If we don't shift and get salt water, we grow weak. If we are in human form for too long it becomes impossible to shift back and we will die."
Gary frowned. "So those four days you stayed with me?"
"When I said I was going to see Everest, I went to the ocean instead. I shifted and swam and renewed myself."
Gary licked mayonnaise from his finger and sat silent.
Sage stared at his food with no appetite. His stomach was in knots as he wondered if Gary would leave him. Unable to stand wondering anymore, he pushed his plate back and looked right at Gary. "Are you scared of me now?"
Gary's head snapped up. "No. God, no. I know you would never hurt me."
Relief flowed through Sage. "I was so worried you would freak out and run out."
"I thought about it." Gary shrugged. "Guess I was more curious than scared. I'm still trying to make sense of it all."
"How can I help you understand? I want you comfortable with this."
Gary shook his head. "I don't know. I keep seeing you with that fin and trying to convince myself it was real."
Sage hesitated a moment. He needed Gary to accept him in both forms. They couldn't have a relationship if Gary wasn't comfortable with him all the time. Not that Gary had given him any sign that he wanted to continue a relationship. "Would it help if I shifted and you could see me that way? Feel my fin?"
Gary swallowed hard. "I don't want to hurt you."
Sage shook his head. "You won't. Your touch could never cause me pain. I'm in pain without it."
Gary took a long drink before setting his glass down and leaning back in his chair. "Tell me more about you. What about the teeth?"
"We hunt fish. It's a lot like how dolphins feed. In fact, we hunt with the dolphins sometimes."
"That's how you called them to you that one night?"
Sage smiled. "Their language isn't much different than ours. We can communicate together."
"So those sounds you made were your language? How you talk to each other?"
"When we are underwater, yes. When we are on land we talk just like you and I are now."
"How have humans never found out about you?"
"It used to be easy to hide. Not so much anymore. With satellites and the ability to dive to new areas of the ocean, we have had to be careful. That is one of the issues we had with my father. He was unwilling to look to the future and make the changes that are needed to protect us. In time, we may have to come out to humans. It's something my brother is considering now."
"You mentioned something about you were supposed to be king?"
Sage played with his napkin in his lap. "I am the oldest son. When my father died, I was supposed to ascend to the throne. I never wanted the job. I hate being stuck behind a desk. I'm not a leader. When my father was removed from power, the clans voted on a new king. I asked my brother to run in my place and he won."
Gary appeared deep in thought, and Sage wished he could read his mind and know exactly what he was thinking.
"I want to see you."
Sage wasn't sure if he meant his true form or see him as in date. "See my other form?"
Gary nodded. "If it's okay."
"Would you like to swim with me?"
"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."
Yet meant he was thinking he might be in the future. It gave Sage hope. "Okay, then let's go in the living room." Sage stood and offered his hand to Gary.
Gary eyed it but didn't take it. He pushed his chair back and stood. "You can shift out of water?"
"As long as it's not for too long I will be fine." Sage dropped his hand and turned for the living room, trying not to feel hurt by Gary not taking his hand.
Sage stripped off his clothes as he stood beside the couch and then lay down on it. He left enough room that Gary could sit down on the edge if he wanted. "You sure you'll be okay with this?"
"I need to do this."
Sage nodded and closed his eyes, willing the shift. When he opened his eyes, Gary was staring at him wide eyed. "The colors are amazing."
Sage softly whipped his tail fin up. "We all have different colors. Some are hereditary."
Gary's gaze traveled over his body. "You have no…" He blushed.
"Penis?" Sage raised a brow.
"Yeah."
Sage hoped this didn't freak Gary out. "I do." He reached down with his hand and parted a small slit below his waist. "We tend to have sex in human form, but it can be done in this form. There is another small hole in back. When I need to pee or am aroused, it protrudes from the slit."
Gary remained silent and Sage was glad he didn't ask to see it. He lifted his fin again. "Do you want to feel my fin?"
"I really won't hurt you?"
"You won't hurt me."
Gary's hand shook as he reached down and caressed his hand over the fin. He drew his hand back, stared for a moment and touched it again. After a moment, he stepped back and shook his head. "I can't do this, Sage. It's just too weird. I'm sorry." He met Sage's stare for a long moment before turning and leaving the room.
Sage sighed, his heart breaking. He shifted back to human form and quickly followed Gary into the dining room. "Gary?"
"I need to go home, Sage. I can give you a ride wherever you need to go. I just can't stay here any longer." He didn't look at Sage as he spoke.
"I understand. I hoped it would be different."
"I promise I will keep your secret. I understand now how dangerous it would be if others knew. I won't tell anyone. I will keep my word." Gary pulled his keys from his pocket.
"Thank you." Sage fought to keep tears back. "You go ahead and go. I'm going to spend the night here. I'll get a cab tomorrow." He wanted to beg, but he wouldn't try and force Gary into anything he wasn't ready for.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. It's okay."
Gary nodded and finally looked up at Sage. "Thank you for trusting me. Telling me about this. I now understand why you did all the things you did." He made his way through the hallway.
Sage followed him. "I meant what I said, Gary. I love you."
Gary turned and nodded. "Bye, Sage."
Sage gripped the doorway where he stood. "Bye, Gary."
Gary watched him a moment more, then turned and left the house, quietly shutting the door behind him.
Sage stared out the window, watching Gary's car drive off until he couldn't see it any longer. Once he was gone. Sage turned and went back to the kitchen. He started searching cupboards for something stronger to drink. Hopefully something that might help him forget.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Gary stared out over the ocean from his balcony. The world had changed suddenly. Everything he thought he knew was different. Things existed that he never imagined could be. He wondered what else was hiding out there that he didn't know about. He shivered at the thought.
He turned to the canvas that sat beside him, the painting half finished. He stared at Sage's image as he swam, his tail fin cutting through the water. He couldn't get the image out of his head. He still wondered if he imagined it.
It was as if his life changed two days ago when Sage had shown him everything. He wasn't the same person he had been before, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He was awake, aware, and the world wasn't the same now.
He took the gold paint and tried to capture Sage's fin as best he could, but nothing seemed to match the brilliance of seeing it in person. It was kind of like being with Sage in person. Nothing seemed to match that either.
He was hopelessly in love with Sage. In love with a man who turned into a fish. He rolled his eyes at how strange that sounded. Anyone who heard him say that would think he'd lost his mind. There was no way he could tell anyone about this, even if he wanted to. Which he didn't. He would never put Sage or his family in danger.
As much as he loved Sage, he just wasn't sure he could accept the strangeness of what he was. He wasn't sure what would have been harder to deal with, the secrets Sage had been keeping from him, or the knowledge he now had of what Sage really was. More than once, he wished he could go back into his naive, clueless world.
None of it changed the fact that he missed Sage. No matter how many reasons or excuses he tried to come up with, it didn't change the fact he was in love with the man. The ache in his chest didn't ease. It only grew worse with each day apart. He just wasn't sure he could deal with things now. If he could be with someone, something, so different from him.
He put the brush down. There was no way he was going to get any work done tonight. He turned back to the ocean, watching the water. It was different now than he ever had before. Looking for Sage, wondering what his life was like under the water.
He would never be able to dive again without looking for mermen. The thought made him smile as he thought about being able to dive with Sage and enjoy the ocean together. Something that would never happen now that he had walked out.
He regretted leaving the way he had. Wished now he had stayed longer, learned more. He had been so scared, overwhelmed with what he was seeing, that his only thought was to flee. Run away from the unknown. He didn't even want to think about what Sage was feeling at his rejection.
Sage had taken a huge chance in telling him. He was still shocked that Sage would trust him with everything. Not that he wasn't trustworthy, but it wasn't just Sage who was at risk. His thoughts turned to Everest. They had been friends for years. He remembered playing as children and wondered when Everest had learned what he was. If what Sage said was true, Everest wouldn't have known until he was older.
He thought back to how normal Everest seemed, and realized that Sage had seemed normal, too. If he hadn't confided his secret, Gary would have never known or expected that anything was different about them. Every part of his relationship with Sage seemed normal, other than the secrets, and he now had answers to those. He loved Sage for who he was, and if he was honest with himself, it didn't matter what form Sage was in, he was still Sage and that love was still there.
He smiled, remembering all the times Sage had told him he loved him. It had been so hard not to respond to those words. What could have been a beautiful moment had ended up awkward and sad. One more thing Gary would have changed if he could go back. But he couldn't. He wouldn't even know where to find Sage now. He doubted he was still at the house.
Gary left the balcony and slid his feet into his shoes. He needed to get out. He found his keys and locked the apartment. It was almost dark, and the shadows played along the beach as he made his way to the sand. He was glad for the growing darkness and the quiet. It fit his mood.
The waves crashed along the beach and Gary moved closer to the water's edge, allowing the water to flow over his feet. The smell of saltwater reminded him of Sage. He now understood his scent and the lightly salty taste to his kiss. So much made sense now.
Could he do this? Could he date someone so different from him? Could they make a life together when Sage had a completely different life that Gary could never be part of? He could easily go to Everest and ask him to contact Sage for him, but was that what he wanted? Could they make it work?
Gary moved back out of the water and found a dry spot to sit. The sand was cool against his legs as he slid off his shoes and leaned back on his hands with his legs outstretched in front of him. The breeze was cool against his face and he closed his eyes, enjoying the light mist that blew in off the ocean.
"Hi."
Gary's looked up and gasped as he saw Sage standing over him. He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. "Hi."
"Mind if I sit?" Sage's hair fell forward over his face and shoulders as he stared down at him.
"No, go ahead." Gary drew his legs up, tucking them against his chest. "How are you?"
"Not good. You?"
Gary shrugged. "Confused."
"About us, me?"
G
ary nodded as Sage sat down beside him.
"I shouldn't have told you. I feel like it just made it worse."
"No. I'm glad you told me. It answered so many questions I had. Explained things I couldn't understand." Gary glanced over at him. "I'm sorry I ran out scared."
"It's a lot to deal with." Sage sifted sand through his fingers. "I knew it was a risk, but I had nothing to lose, I had to try."
"How did you find me here?"
Sage bowed his head. "I was outside your apartment, debating on coming to the door when you left."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I was afraid you didn't want to see me."
Gary stared out over the ocean. "You're always welcome to come by."
"As a friend?" Sage looked over at him.
"I want more. I'm just not sure if I can deal with…"
"Yeah. Maybe it's best."
Gary frowned. "You think?"
"No."
Gary smiled. "Me either."
Sage sat up straighter. "But if you can't deal with what I am…"
"I can't deal with being without you, either."
Sage reached over and placed his hand over Gary's. "Then don't. Let's try. It's good between us. Nothing changes because of what I am. As long as we are near the water, I don't even have to leave your side other than a quick swim every few days."
"What about your people and your job?"
"I can still see them when I want. I love my job, but if you can't deal with it, I can do something else, something on land."
Gary closed his eyes, remembering Sage's other form. Could he deal with it? Could he handle knowing there was a world in Sage's life he would never be included in?
"I know it's a lot to deal with. You took it better than most would. But I love you. I don't want anyone else. I want us." Sage leaned closer and brushed his mouth over Gary's jaw. "Tell me you want this, too."
Gary shivered at the feel of Sage's mouth against his skin. He arched his neck and groaned softly. "Yes."
"Yes?" Sage sucked his earlobe between his lips then released it. "Yes you want this?"
Gary turned and caught Sage's lips against his own. "Yes I want this." He pulled back and met Sage's gaze. "I love you. I have for a while now. I'm scared, but I can't deny this feels right."
