She caught the thick of her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled. “Deal.”
“Deal.”
* * *
TINA SETTLED ONTO the couch and pulled her feet up with her. She balanced a notepad on her lap and tapped a pen to the paper. She needed to distance herself from West and refocus on finding the man who’d stolen her baby and demolished her life. West moved past her toward the fireplace, and the sting of rejection pinched her cheeks. He was right, of course, to put her off. She was in no condition to make decisions, and in her experience sex had always complicated things. She’d trusted very few men with that kind of access to her, and had been unequivocally disappointed in the long run, if not sooner. She put that blame on herself. Physical intimacy still meant too much to her, even in the age of cell phone apps made for hooking up with strangers. Sex required a lot of trust, and trust mattered. Which was exactly why she’d behaved so impulsively. At one time, West had been her rock and her comforter. She’d taken all her broken hearts to him, and he’d made her forget her tears. West Garrett was her protector, and no matter how much time had been lost between them, a part of her had hoped he would work his magic again. Make her believe that everything was going to be okay, and that he’d protect her from anything or anyone who dared say otherwise. If West had accepted her advances, she would’ve been comforted for a while but devastated to lose him when this was over.
Then again, maybe he knew that. Maybe that was his reasoning.
West pushed logs around inside the fireplace, sending embers into the flue. “I keep asking myself what kind of nut would do all these awful things, and I’ve got nothing.” He swiveled to face her, replacing the poker in an iron rack before taking a seat beside the hearth. “I mean, I know crazy is crazy, and the reason probably makes perfect sense to him, but I don’t get it.”
Tina wasn’t a fan of words like crazy or nut when referring to mental health, but the anger inside her had found a few much worse things to call the man attacking her from every angle. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I didn’t study profiling, and most of my education and experience centers on trauma survivors. If you’re looking for speculation, however, I’d say this person is trying to merge our lives. He’s attacked my job. Inserted himself into my home.” She paused to force images of a cooler in the tall grass behind her home out of her mind. West had shared his awful findings with her while they waited for Ducky to be seen by the vet. Unthinkable as those photos had been, this lunatic, whoever he was, had done much worse. “And he’s taken my baby—” she cleared her thickening throat and pushed ahead “—and come for my dog.” She cupped a hand over her mouth, certain she’d be sick. It had been a mistake to try to eat at a time like this, even something as mundane as scrambled eggs.
“Then why you?” West asked. He bent his knees and draped steel arms over them. “Is it because you’re you, or because you’re a widow? A single mom? A counselor?”
“I don’t know.”
The muscle in his jaw popped and clenched. “Do you think this guy followed you here from your old town, or is a citizen of my county doing this?”
Tina wrinkled her brow. “You take personal responsibility for thousands of people? That’s a heavy burden.”
“Kind of comes with the job.” A small smile formed on West’s lips. “I guess I feel as protective of them as you do of your patients, which is why I’m going to ask this carefully. Could this be the work of one of your group members? Past or present?”
Tina’s knee-jerk response was “No, of course not,” but she hadn’t stopped considering the possibility since the shooting, and the more pointed crimes she’d witnessed today, the more she’d wondered if this was someone she knew. Even Ducky seemed to know the man somehow. Was he someone she’d talked to about her life? Had she unwittingly presented a killer with casual details about Lily and the sitter, her house, dog and job? No. She was guarded by nature, and she hadn’t had many people over since Thomas died. Even fewer since Lily had been born. “I’ve considered it, yes. Abuse survivors could swing wide, exchange feelings of intense grief for action. Form a working plan to re-create a life lost.” She released a slow breath for stability. If that theory was true, then she had to face an even more heinous one. “If ballistics can match the shooter’s bullet to the one that killed Thomas, then this behavior goes back a year. It’s had time to percolate and grow in the killer’s unstable mind.”
“Walk me through the timeline following your return to Shadow Point.”
Tina stroked the soft fabric of her jeans, drying sweat-slicked palms on her knees. “It started when Dad went to jail.”
“About two years ago,” West said.
“Right.” The solemn look in his eye puzzled her. Maybe his father had told him her secrets after all. She flinched at the possible betrayal to her younger self.
“What then?” West pressed.
“Well.” She searched for the right details. “I started calling home again. I knew he couldn’t beat her to the phone anymore. I’d finally be able to talk to Mom. Except, she rarely picked up. I thought she’d flourish in his absence, but instead she crawled deeper into herself. It was only then that I came to realize that her depression and detachment had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. His incarceration hadn’t set her free—it had set her afloat without an anchor.”
West shifted on the floor, resuming his fuss with the growing fire. “So, he wasn’t the tyrant and warden I thought he was?”
“No,” Tina scoffed. “He was worse.” She closed her eyes against the violent memories racing to her mind’s surface. “I think that without him, she was too humiliated to face her life. She’d hidden behind his abuse for so long. Letting him control everything. Including her. Mom and I tried to keep it quiet, but I can see now that everyone knew. Maybe not the specifics, but enough, and she’d built her sad life around the abuse and codependency. When that was taken from her, she bailed.”
West’s jaw set.
Did he know more than he said about her past? How could she ask without giving it all away?
Tina dragged a pen across her paper. “Dad was arrested, and I put my house on the market when Mom stopped taking calls. I came to visit, and the house was empty. Mail was piled in the box. I had to stay and try to find her.” She tipped her head back in exasperation. “Not find her, find her. I didn’t plan on going on an expedition or anything. I assumed if I kept watch, she’d eventually come home, probably in terrible shape, and I’d be here to help her get back on her feet.”
West’s face turned stricken. “I looked for her.”
“What? When?”
“She wasn’t gone more than two days before a neighbor reported it. Mail in the box confirmed the timeline. I thought she’d gone on a vacation. Needed time to think. I checked every day after that. Made calls. Contacted extended family and known acquaintances.”
Tina bristled. “You didn’t call me.”
“How?” He gasped, half laughing at the absurdity, half angry that she didn’t think he’d tried. “It’s not like she had you listed as an emergency contact. She didn’t even have an address book in that house. No computer. Nothing. The letters I sent to your last known address came back unforwarded. Your dad wasn’t talking when I went to him. You’d vanished.”
Tina tipped her chin higher. She’d made a point of starting a new life because the pain from her old one was more than she could bear, and probably the reason she’d chosen her profession. She couldn’t save herself or her family, but she could help someone else if they’d let her.
“When you came back, I assigned a new deputy to look after the case and advise if she turned up. I figured you wouldn’t be in a hurry to see me or talk about it, and if you were, I’m not too hard to find.”
Tina ignored the jibe. Yes, she could’ve run to West for help, but according to the deputy, her mom was all but a cold
case. So, Tina paid her mom’s property taxes and hoped for the best. “Then you know I got here, found a job, bought a house and met Thomas a few weeks later.”
“I’d heard that, yes,” West admitted. “I tried not to keep up with the details, but I heard anyway. Price of living in a small town, I suppose.”
She imagined a thread of hurt in West’s voice. “We were married on a whim, the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done. Stupidest, too. Not that I wouldn’t do it again,” she corrected. “I got Lily out of the deal, but he was never the one. You know?” She flicked a sheepish gaze at him. “Not the one I’d dreamed of marrying.”
West’s Adam’s apple bobbed long and slow, but he didn’t speak.
“I had my suspicions about the pregnancy,” she babbled on, wishing she’d kept that last comment to herself, “but I wanted to wait to tell him after I confirmed with the doctor. Then he went on his annual hunting trip. Something he said he did with his dad and brothers growing up in Missouri. He went last year in solidarity, even if he couldn’t be with them in person. Driven by nostalgia, I suppose. I don’t think he’d actually killed anything in years.”
Tina wiped a renegade tear from her cheek. It was awful that he’d died alone in the woods, trying to hold on to a special time from his past when she was waiting at home with news about the future. “His family was torn up at the funeral. Bitter and angry. They blamed one another for not coming back here to hunt with him. It was absurd. As if anyone could’ve stopped his death.” She shook her head. “His dad sent flowers to the hospital when Lily was born, but that was it.” She’d stupidly thought that Thomas’s family would become her family, even in his absence. They hadn’t, and that made two families who didn’t want her.
West moved to the couch and tugged her against his side. “You and your daughter deserve more than some crappy flowers and angry, uninvolved in-laws. You know that, right?”
“I know that Lily deserves the world.”
“And you do, too.” He pressed a kiss against the side of her head that felt a lot like a promise, though she didn’t dare dwell on what that promise might be.
She forced her thoughts past the moment and back to the subject at hand. “If this is the work of someone from my therapy sessions, past or present, then you should know I run an open and rolling group. That means anyone can request to join during certain months. When I get a request or referral, I like to do a quick evaluation of the candidate to see if they will benefit from what we do and if they will fit the existing dynamic. I look at the source of their trauma, their current situation and personality. It’s important that the group can work together. So, for example, a rape recovery group would be exclusively divided by gender, but abuse survivors can be mixed, especially in situations of parental abuse. Same for former military or law enforcement.”
West pulled his arm away and angled to look at her face. “What happens in the sessions? How much do you reveal about yourself?”
“My sessions are process based. Members lead the sessions. They share and give feedback among themselves. I’m more of a moderator.”
“Anyone ever express any desires to do something like this? Maybe comment on how much they’d like a family like yours?”
“Never.”
He turned his attention to her notepad. “So, what’s on your list?”
She flipped the page over to reveal a line of names. “These are all the men I’ve met and the places I’ve been since returning to town.”
West quirked a brow. “That’s a huge list.”
“I’ve been here awhile.”
“Cashier at coffee shop? Postman?”
She smiled. “I don’t know the whole town by name.”
“Park. Gas station. Church.”
“I’m trying to be thorough.” Tina pulled in a jagged breath. “West?” The thing that had been tearing her apart inside finally forced its way onto her tongue. He would tell her the truth, even if it wasn’t what she’d hoped to hear. “Why do you think I never knew anything was wrong before today? How could I have no idea someone was fixated on Lily and me like this? I didn’t know we were being watched. Followed. How could I not realize my baby was in danger? Shouldn’t that be my instinct?” She pressed a palm over her heart. “Am I a bad mother?”
West’s expression crumbled. “No. It means you’re sane and human. It means you trust people, you expect good things, and you were busy enjoying your life while a predator was watching.” He cocked a knee on the couch between them and leveled her with a flat, no-nonsense gaze. “You said yourself that these people can be chameleons. What kind of mother would you be if you spent all your time looking for them, expecting the worst? That’s no way to live, and you had no reason to do that. So, let’s stick to the positives here.”
Tina nodded.
West lifted a finger and ticked it off with his opposite hand. “We know criminals who do the kinds of things we saw today, like stalking their victims and setting up a deluded romantic dinner, and they probably do those things because they imagine a relationship with the victim. That’s a good thing for right now. It means he’s unlikely to do anything he thinks might ruin it. He’s going to take good care of Lily to show you that he can. The next time he makes contact, he’s going to want you, and I think that will be soon. He came for Lily and Ducky in the span of a few hours. Another good thing because if he tries to get near you, he’s mine.”
Tina blinked. A dangerous thought was solidifying in her mind. Being abducted would mean getting her hands on Lily. If she could somehow slip into the abductor’s grasp and fulfill his fantasy, then she could get Lily and find a way to escape. Another sign she was on the edge of losing her mind. She didn’t think reckless things like that anymore. Especially when the recklessness would involve Lily.
West would hate that idea. It was dangerous. And crazy. She’d have to keep it to herself for now.
“May I?” West pulled the notepad onto his lap and reached for the pen. “I know some of these people. I can strike a few off. What kind of guy wouldn’t do this?”
“Anyone with a stable home life. Someone with a consistent and predictable work history or strong ties to the community.” She heaved a sigh. “There isn’t a specific profile. We all process differently, and some people just blend in.”
West began to draw lines through the names.
“What are you doing?”
“I grew up with some of these guys. A few are friends of Dad’s. Others are regular volunteers at the church or live in a neighborhood I’m familiar with. Little League coaches. Married to their jobs. Wives. Mortgages. Two-point-two kids.”
She nodded. Someone juggling the typical American dream was an unlikely candidate for this sort of crime spree, but she was slow to discount anyone. Tina knew firsthand how much people could hide.
West returned the notepad to her and headed to the kitchen. He carried his laptop and a stack of files from the printer back to the couch. “Let’s see what we have here. Maybe we can narrow your list down a little further.”
He worked diligently for a long while, reading and marking papers. Tucking some between himself and the arm of the couch, tossing others onto the coffee table. He checked his phone regularly, as if it might’ve buzzed, but he’d missed it. He seemed as equally unhappy when there were messages as when there weren’t.
Slowly, Tina’s interest in West’s progress dimmed. Her stinging eyes grew blurry from fatigue, and her lids drooped in exhaustion. When she reopened them, the pile of papers on the coffee table in front of West had quadrupled.
He dug the heels of his hands against his eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yep. I’ve gone through every page, account and report. Now I’m just waiting for more, and contrasting what we know versus what we need to know. Wondering how to get the latter.” He dropped his hands away from his face and moved t
he laptop to the coffee table, sending an avalanche of papers onto the floor. “I’ll send your completed lists to Blake.”
He carried her notepad to the kitchen. A moment later, his printer buzzed to life, scanning and saving the pages. West returned with a thumb drive and a determined look. “Time for bed.”
“What?”
“Come on, get up. You can’t get any rest on a couch.” He extended his hand to her.
“No,” she protested. “I should stay up with you. What if something else happens?”
West pulled her onto her feet. “You need your sleep. I’ve got this.” He tucked her against his side and squeezed. “We’re going to get Lily back in your arms, then she can steal your sleep. How does that sound?”
Her throat clogged with emotion. “Perfect.”
“I promise to wake you if anything significant comes up.” He led her to his room and turned down the covers. “Now rest. Tomorrow is a new day.”
Tina slid between the sheets, immediately and immeasurably thankful for West’s stubborn streak. His bed was perfect—warm and inviting. Her muscles unwound on contact.
“Sweet dreams.” He pulled the blanket up to her chin and cut the lights on his way out.
Alone for the first time since losing Lily, Tina’s heavy heart ached anew as she closed her eyes to the silence of a home without her baby.
Chapter Ten
West jolted awake. He blinked heavy lids at the orange spray of sunlight filtering through the window. Was it dawn? When had he fallen asleep? His phone buzzed on the coffee table beside his laptop and a mountain of useless reports. He lurched for the vibrating cell phone and snatched it up in one hand. “Garrett,” he croaked.
“West?” Cole’s voice blew through the line. “I’m at the hospital. Tina’s sitter just woke up.”
Electricity raced over West’s skin as he processed the words and their potential meaning. Mary could potentially provide a description of the man who took Lily. “We’re on our way.”
The Sheriff's Secret Page 9
