by Brianna West
“Hey, don’t just ignore me! Did his eye do that twitchy thing? Was his voice really deep when he asked you to come and collect me?” Conall chased after us as Aidan led me back out to his car, pivoting at the last second to leer at Conall.
“And another thing,” Aidan said, his voice dangerously low, “Carl will be staying at my flat from now on. They’ve fixed it, so I’m letting him stay in the extra room. I don’t think I need to tell you what would happen if you try to convince him he can’t.”
“When did you two get so chummy?”
Aidan’s expression darkened. “When you decided to not only take blood from someone who felt he had no right to say no, but lay your bleeding filthy, undeserving hands on him.”
I was momentarily stricken by the powerful wrath in Aidan’s eyes as he stared at Conall, unmoving. There was a moment where no one spoke, and I grew more uncomfortable with each passing second. I’d intervened on fights, but never ones where I didn’t know the two fighting well enough to settle things down. And to be quite honest, I wasn’t sure what to make out of what Aidan was saying.
It felt wrong to try to interpret anything that was being said when I barely knew either one of them and there was a clear history between the pair. From the dialogue I’d had with Conall and Aidan separately, there seemed to be a great deal of respect between them. So, considering how I hadn’t seen enough of their interactions to conclude much, I didn’t want to unintentionally intervene where I wasn’t needed.
“So, even you can be clever when you want to be. Figured it out, did you?” Conall asked quietly, his mouth no longer smiling.
Actually, the Irishman’s entire demeanor transformed. The muscles of his torso tautened and his stance widened, as if preparing for a possible fight. His slightly illuminated eyes fixed to Aidan, unblinking. Since Conall still sported what he’d worn yesterday, there was very little to hide the sudden tension in his body. His smell had also changed, which was something I had noticed happen when we were on our mission and he’d sensed the high-demon.
“Doesn’t matter. That’s the way things are now, and I won’t hear a lecture from someone who has just as much of a past as I do.”
“You’re right, you bloody tosser. But at least I know when not to bloody touch. You’re lucky I didn’t mention it to Logan.” Aidan’s stance grew wider, as if in reaction to Conall’s. His bulky arms crossed tightly against his chest as the rest of his body suddenly appeared five times larger.
“So why didn’t you?” Conall asked, his eyes straying to where I stood before he huffed with obvious agitation and regarded Aidan seriously.
I couldn’t see Aidan’s face, but the strain in his shoulders expressed enough to know that he was close to all-out yelling. “Because I don’t want Carl caught up in all of this.”
“You mean to say, you want him all for yourself,” Conall corrected.
Aidan’s chest rumbled violently. “Are you taking the piss, Old Man? Did you not hear me when I said that I know when not to bloody touch?”
Conall’s face morphed, something akin to sarcasm in his expression. “Oh, my mistake. But really, Aidan, I’ve never seen you so protective over someone, and you’ve only just met him. What happened when you had him defenseless in your bed, I have to wonder.”
Those words were what made Aidan finally snap. The forced calm that Aidan had maintained until now was completely destroyed, because in the next second, he was lunging across the ground at Conall. I barely made it in time, taking hold of the arm that Aidan was ready to strike a powerful blow on Conall’s smug face with and restraining it with all of my might.
Based on my observations, I was definitely not stronger than Aidan. But by grabbing him, I must’ve surprised him enough to halt his attack. The tautness in his back and arm expressed just how much power he’d been ready to put into the punch, and I was thanking my lucky stars that I’d gotten to him in time.
He looked over at me, his arm still raised to land the hit on Conall. “Carl?”
I shook my head, tugging his arm gently. “That’s enough. As much as I appreciate what you’ve said, I can speak for myself.”
Aidan dropped his arm and took a step back, glaring at Conall. The Irishman stood without the least bit of concern that he’d almost been plowed through by a were-bear. It was that sort of nonchalance that aggravated the emotion in my belly as I breathed a thankful sigh and fixed my vest, as it had wrinkled in the commotion.
I was grateful that Aidan had willingly withdrawn, because were-bears, once overcome by emotion, had a tendency not to calm until the anger had run its course.
Beasts by nature had more explosive episodes of emotion than other creatures, and I’d seen my fair share of them growing up with a twin brother who enjoyed letting his beast run free. Our brief run with other tigers had also introduced me to the free use of beast nature that most of my kind took pride in. I, however, kept that part of myself tightly locked away.
Conall’s eyes caught the light as he regarded Aidan and then me contemplatively. “So, did you agree to room with Aidan?”
The air grew stagnant, and I stepped forward with my chin raised to speak out. “I think it’s for the best.”
“Do you now?” Conall asked, his voice so uncharacteristically quiet that I almost felt inclined to take a step back. “And last night?”
“An error in judgment,” I answered firmly. “One that will never happen again.”
Conall stared at me for a moment before fingering through his hair with obvious irritation, dropping his stare and clenching his jaw before his green eyes raised to meet mine again. “Then, of course, you should do as you please.”
Nodding my polite thanks, I touched the gun holstered to my side and looked over to Aidan. “We should be on our way.”
Conall hadn’t moved, only stood silently opposite the two of us while the silence weighed down the air. Unable to look at him any longer, I turned away and walked over to the passenger side of Aidan’s car. My pulse was thrumming loudly in my ears as I got into the car and looked away from where Conall stood.
I didn’t want to lose my resolve, especially after I’d caused an internal conflict between a superior and his subordinate. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I should stay with the team when whatever was going on between Aidan and Conall was clearly my doing. If their dynamic was interrupted by my being there, it would be better if I left before any more damage could be done.
My chest seized, throat burning spitefully as thoughts resurfaced of why I’d originally come to this team. A love lost. A heart broken. Ten years’ worth of feelings unrealized.
Wherever I went, my heartbreak followed. I never truly got away from it. No matter how far I ran, there wasn’t anywhere I could hide when the person I wished to get away from was myself.
Being here had thrown me back into chaos. I’d given into temptation for the first time in my life, and it had only gotten me into more trouble. Inexplainable emotions fluttered through my chest and stomach every time I looked at Conall.
After spending a lifetime pining, it was unbelievable to think I’d just hand myself over to the beast like I had the night before. Perhaps the reason I couldn’t look at Conall was because seeing him was the very embodiment of what I’d never truly have—love.
Could I be satisfied with lust? Could I come to accept that my relationships would only ever be that?
No. Giving into lust would be giving into the beast.
I didn’t want to stay, but I didn’t have much of a choice at the moment, so I kept my eyes down and my emotions tucked away. If things got hostile again, I’d talk to Victor and request a transfer. But for now, I planned to find out what I could in order to convince Niko back to the Light.
It was high-time I got back to what I did best and focused on what I could control. My job.
*
“This will be your room,” Aidan informed me, gesturing to the room next to his. “I’m sure you want to rest, so I’ll leave you to it. I�
��ll be back in the evening to…erm, help with the withdrawals. I’ve already requested a few days off from Logan.”
Confused for a moment, I stared at him expectantly. “Withdrawals? Tonight?”
Smiling sadly, he nodded, an uncomfortable twitch in his mouth. “The more he takes, the more difficult the withdrawals will become. I don’t want to keep rubbing salt in your wound, but he…took a bit more than last time, yeah? I didn’t want to mention it before, since you said you weren’t planning to let him bite you again, but each time he takes from someone, the reactions are stronger.”
The image of Conall’s face as his red-green eyes stared down at me and my blood painted his lips had my stomach clenching uncomfortably. Yet, I wasn’t prepared for the arousal that abruptly heated my body. I was quickly looking away from the caramel eyes that watched me, ashamed of my body’s reaction to something I’d already told myself was wrong and could never happen again.
“Yes, he did indeed take more,” I acquiesced, still looking away. “How soon should I expect it to start affecting me?”
“Maybe a few hours. Maybe less.”
Dammit.
I sighed deeply, touching the gun on my belt. “Thank you. I’ll try not to be a burden. This is the price I’m meant to pay for letting him do it and intentionally not heeding your warning.”
“Carl…”
I could smell his upset, finding it oddly comforting to know that someone cared. But it wasn’t his responsibility to take care of me. If he could ensure I was uncuffed when the yearning had settled, I’d be fine to deal with it on my own. I’d battled worse.
For as long as I could remember, I’d been wrestling the internal beast and its explosive emotions which, more often than not, were intensely painful. I wasn’t a stranger to bearing pain alone. In a way, this would be my way of atoning and doing penance for the crime against my personal ethics.
Smoothing over my vest, I straightened and looked at Aidan over my shoulder. “I can handle it myself. I appreciate your concern, but as long as you help me out of the cuffs, I should be able to manage the rest.”
I smiled politely before turning towards the room once more, prepared to imprison myself inside and spend another day or two in the cusp of painful withdrawal. But as this was my punishment, I wouldn’t run from it. Not that I really could.
Aidan rustled behind me as a hand touched my shoulder, causing me to jolt bodily and then jerk my gaze back towards him. “I know this is bloody uncomfortable for you.”
Concern etched into the hard lines of his face as his stare fixed to me. The tension inside my body settled, his words somehow soothing the discomfort I’d been feeling. Whatever it was about Aidan, a part of me responded to him on a level it hadn’t with any other. Perhaps that was the entire reason I’d unconsciously sought his support and openly divulged my misdeeds, unlike I’d been prone to do with others.
“I’m sure you’ll be brilliant, but…” his luminous eyes searched my face for a moment, hand gripping me before lifting to run fingers through his hair, “—I can do what I did last time, yeah? I know it’s not ideal, but if it helps, it’d be my honor. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“That’s very kind of you, but I should be fine,” I rejected politely, uneasy with the prospects of letting him bite me again.
Aidan huffed, his lips lifting into a mischievous grin. “No need to act coy. Just say ‘yes’ and let me have my shining hero moment, yeah?”
Unable to reject him again when he wore such a disarming smile, I conceded defeat with a sigh and smile of my own. I’d never admit to it, but I was terrified of dealing with the withdrawals on my own after the last experience. Part of me explained it away with the fear of Niko’s return while I was vulnerable. Another part excused my relief with knowing that a sensible man would accept help where it was needed. Still, I didn’t have any more fight left in me, so I accepted without any real effort put forth to argue against it.
“Should I even bother arguing?”
“Probably not. I’ve been told I’m pretty bull-headed. Dunno what they mean by that load of bollocks. I’m a bear, not a bull. Cheeky tossers,” he rambled, grinning happily when I couldn’t help but laugh at his lame joke.
Resting my weight onto the frame of the door, I peered up at the other Guardian with a gentle smile. “Thank you,” I finally said, catching Aidan off guard by the sudden surprise he expressed in his face. “You’re a better man than you let on.”
“Oi, are you saying I look like I’m not a good bloke?” Aidan retorted with a wry grin.
Shaking my head and still smiling, I rejected his statement. “Only that it seems you don’t credit yourself enough. If it hadn’t been for you being here, I’m sure I would’ve crashed and burned a long time ago.”
Aidan’s smile faltered, recognition igniting inside his beautiful eyes. “I don’t know about all that…”
“The situation with Niko would’ve been far worse if you hadn’t been there,” I stated firmly. “It wasn’t your fault. You did everything you could, and I was better for it, so you don’t owe me anything.”
Aidan’s torso grew visibly rigid, and his jaw strained as he fisted his hands. The upset was clear in his actions. “It won’t be happening again. I plan to tear that blonde tosser from limb to limb if he comes for you again.”
“I don’t doubt you will,” I responded with a heartfelt smile. “Go on, I’m going to get a few things in order.”
Aidan’s jaw clenched a little before he nodded, the side of his mouth lifting sarcastically. “Too bad you’ll miss out on the old man getting his arse handed to him, but I promise to bring all the details back with me.”
Laughing and sensing the previous tension gone, I responded, “It’s definitely a pity to miss it.”
“Call if anything changes,” Aidan said quickly, expression hardened. “Doesn’t matter when or how soon, I’ll come right away.”
The Guardian’s large body retreated down the corridor, his hand waving a short goodbye before he disappeared around the corner. I inhaled deeply, my stomach finally settling after nothing but unrelenting tension all day. I finally felt like I could relax for the first time in days. Heading inside the room, I dug out my phone from the back pocket of my pants and quickly dialed Victor.
“Hello, boss,” I greeted evenly, “I need to speak with you about Niko.”
Chapter Eleven
Victor sat opposite of me, his immense size sitting atop the bed appearing almost comical as I rested my back against the wall with my arms crossed loosely over my chest. I knew that the angel could very easily hear my thoughts and subsequently receive images through touch, but he never did so without permission. For which I was grateful.
“He seems to be misguided,” Victor agreed finally after a long pause. “And he did not appear to be under a demon’s influence by your observations?”
Shaking my head, I sighed deeply. “He didn’t, at least not at that time. I truly believe he’s not beyond our reach, though. With a little effort, I’m sure I can convince him back to the Light.”
Victor hummed, sky-blue eyes resting on the floor between us before raising to where I stood. “I will permit it, for the time being. I will speak with the Council and release what we know to you once I have their undivided support.”
Standing, the angel peered curiously across at me, his long pale hair cascading over his shoulders. With angels, none of my normal senses worked. Their hearts did not beat the way ours did. They didn’t need to breathe. Their scent consisted of things that superficially stuck to them, and wasn’t an indication of their emotions. So, with Victor’s silent gaze, I could only use what I knew of the angel to deduce what he might be thinking. From my many years in his care, I knew he had picked up on something. Whether my behavior or overall appearance, he knew all wasn’t well.
His glowing eyes fixed to me before he smiled gently. “You seem unwell.”
The yearning for Conall had begun an hour earlier, but it
was light enough to ignore. However, as time passed, the urge had grown to a rather unbearable level. Sweat was already collecting on my brow as I fought the painful heat inside of my body. Soon that heat would consume me, and I’d need my power to be drained with magical cuffs so I could be effectively imprisoned to the bed.
“I’ll be fine in the morning,” I responded, hoping my words held true and weren’t just wishful thinking on my part.
Victor’s smile never faltered as he took a step forward, all-seeing gaze depicting the truth of my statement, no doubt. “I had wondered this the other day, but there seems to be a conflict of some sort here. Should you require my assistance or a transfer to another team, I will oblige you without question.”
Swallowing around the burning in my throat, I offered him a reassuring smile. “I will, of course.”
Victor watched me for a minute longer before nodding. “Very well. I will contact you as soon as I have received approval. Rest and recover in the meantime.”
After a silent smile, Victor disappeared as if he’d never really been there. I slouched a bit, unaware I’d been on edge the entire time I’d spoken with the angel.
The nagging sensation in my chest alerted me to the oncoming storm of withdrawal and had me hurriedly reaching for my phone. I peered at the screen as sweat trailed down my face and my breathing suffered in shallow pants. Dialing Aidan’s number, I headed towards the bed and withdrew the magical cuffs from the last time I’d been in his home.
A sharp sensation struck my chest, taking me by complete surprise. An intense fire suddenly raged through my veins, stealing my strength and forcing me onto the bed with a sharp gasp. I slouched, tensing through the pain and grasping the bedding in one hand.
‘This is Aidan,’ I heard the familiar gruff tone answer through the receiver as I breathed through another slice of pain.
This pain was unlike anything I’d experienced before, and it took all of my willpower not to cry out.
