by Tina Susedik
He wished he could depart before they reached Fort Laramie. With Manny locked up, that would leave Sam short two men for a week. He couldn’t do that to his friend.
In a pretense of checking the wagon’s wheels, Jack put distance between them. He needed to get away from her before he pulled her into his arms and completely lost himself in her. His promise to never love another woman again burned across his mind.
“Jed and some of the children are bunking under their wagon, so you should be safe outside tonight.” He slapped on his hat. His head told him he was doing the right thing.
He rubbed his chest. Why did his heart hurt so much?
~ ~ ~
That night, even though he knew Sarah and Tommy were safe from Manny, Jack spread out his bedroll nearby. With his hands beneath his head, he watched the constellations move across the sky, keeping his eyes from the woman wrapped in a blanket beneath her wagon.
A small whimper came from inside. Sarah rose and went to the back of the wagon, lifting Daisy to the ground. Without looking around, Sarah lay back down. The dog waddled its over-sized body to do her business. Then with a moan and deep sigh, Daisy curled up at her feet and went back to sleep.
For a few more minutes, he imagined himself spooning with Sarah, his cock pressed against her ass. “I give up.” Obviously sleep wasn’t going to come tonight. He rose from his bedroll, walked to the trees, and sat with his back against a massive oak. From here he would be able to keep an eye on her.
He was tired, but like the wind blowing down a mountainside, the day’s events rolled through his mind. The storm. The fire. Horace. Tommy. Sarah. Always, Sarah. Now he could add the exciting way she responded to him, accepted him into her body. Even though he’d never forget it, leaving was the best thing for him to do. She and Tommy had a new future ahead of them in Oregon City, and he couldn’t mess that up for them, no matter how he felt about her.
With that decision made, Jack was able to relax. His shoulders dropped and his hands slipped from his lap as his eyes slid shut.
He jerked, smacking his head against the tree trunk. Damn. He’d fallen asleep. He stood, stretched out his back, and headed for his bedroll. Sleeping on the ground, no matter how hard, was better than bark digging into his back.
Was his bedroll moving? Slowing his step, Jack peered at his blankets. Sure enough, they were moving. Had a snake found warmth for the night? A prairie dog? Whatever it was, he had no intention of sharing. With the barrel of his rifle, he eased the edge of the blanket back, ready to fight off whatever was hidden.
A small yip greeted him. “Daisy. What . . .” Something small squiggled. Something else squirmed. Daisy whimpered. He pulled back the blanket a little more and stepped back. “Well, I’ll be damned.”
“What’s going on?”
Jack slapped a hand against his chest. How had he not heard Sarah’s approach? “Geez, woman. Don’t startle me like that.”
“Sorry. Why are you standing out here?” Sarah knelt beside his bedroll. “Oh, my. Daisy’s having her puppies.”
“So I noticed.” He squatted beside her. “In my bedroll, no less.”
“Oh, Jack, I’m so sorry.” She patted Daisy’s side as another puppy eased from her body. “It’s all right, girl.”
If only his wife had had such an easy time.
“How many so far?” Sarah asked.
“One, two, three . . . Looks like six.”
In the silence of the night, he sat beside Sarah, watching in awe as one puppy after another slipped from Daisy’s body. He’d seen enough cows, pigs, and horses give birth over the years, yet it never ceased to amaze him. Daisy finally lay still, then lifted her head to clean off her newborns.
“Eleven. No, twelve.” Sarah shook her head. “How are we ever going to travel with a dozen puppies?”
He laughed. “There’s really nothing you have to do, Sarah. Daisy will do all the work.”
“Still, that’s a lot of dogs.”
“By the time you get to Oregon City, they’ll be old enough to give away.” Would her new husband be willing to take on a boy not his own and a bunch of dogs? Jack hoped so.
Sarah fingered one of the pups. “What do we do tonight? We can’t leave her out here.”
“Do you think she’d let us move her and the puppies to your wagon?”
“I doubt it. New mothers can be extremely protective.”
“I guess we could stay and keep an eye on her. I’d hate to see coyotes get her and the pups.” Since he’d just promised himself to stay away from her, it was probably the wrong thing to do, but he couldn’t let Sarah sit out here by herself. “Besides, I don’t have any place to sleep now.”
Sarah rose and headed toward her wagon. “I’ll get you a quilt and sit with you.”
Jack eyed the sweet sway of her hips as she walked away. “Thanks, Daisy, old girl,” he muttered. “How am I supposed to spend the night with Sarah and keep my hands to myself? Couldn’t you have had your babies somewhere else?”
Thank heavens Sarah had her quilt and another for him in hand when she came back. At least they would be away from each other and temptation. Well, temptation on his part, anyway.
She wrapped one of the quilts around her shoulders, lay beside Daisy, and petted the dog’s side as the puppies rooted for milk. He lowered the brim of his hat to shield his eyes from the scene. Sitting cross-legged, he pulled his quilt around himself. As much as he wanted to avoid watching, Sarah’s beauty kept his eyes on her.
The full moon shone like a beacon against her hair. A small smile graced her lips. It was all too domestic for him. Her hand stilled.
“About tonight, Sarah.”
She lifted her head and stared at him. “Yes?”
“I want you to know it was one of the best things that has happened to me in four years.”
“Me, too.” Her smile widened, warming his heart.
“It doesn’t change anything, though. I need to go back home.” He pulled the quilt tighter and stared at the sky. “If there should be a babe from this, make sure you get word to me. You can send a letter to the fort.”
She was silent so long, he thought she wasn’t going to answer him.
“I’ll miss you, Jack.”
Had he heard her rightly? Her words had been nothing more than a whisper. “Did you say something?” She didn’t answer. He leaned closer. Her breath was slow and even. She’d fallen asleep. Probably a good thing, because he wanted to kiss those lips and enjoy her body one more time before he left.
Jack lay down on the other side of Daisy. He’d make sure to be up before the camp woke in the morning.
Chapter 11
Sarah shaded her eyes against the glaring sun. It had been a week since the storm and the fire. Not to mention the incredible night she shared with Jack beneath the tree. If her body hadn’t been sore the next morning, she’d never believe it had happened. Thankfully her courses had started. Had she found herself with child, she wasn’t sure if she’d have wanted to let Jack know. Being married to one man who hadn’t wanted her was enough.
Other than a brief tip of his hat as he rode by each morning, she’d seen nothing of Jack. He hadn’t even stopped to check on the puppies, much to Tommy’s chagrin. Now the adobe walls of Fort Laramie were close. By late afternoon, they would join teepees and a few other wagons whose white covers glimmered in the distance.
Last night, Sam had gathered the men and women and their families to give them an idea of what would happen at the fort.
They would make camp across the Laramie River from the fort. During the day, they could go into the post and buy additional supplies, pay for a bath, and post any letters to send home. Everyone, particularly the women, were to stay away from the barracks, especially the bachelor quarters known as Old Bedlam.
It was probably for the best that he leave. Becoming more involved with the man while traveling to marry another was not a wise idea.
Tommy had been subdued most of the week. He cried out at night, afraid another storm was approaching. A wisp of camp smoke made him cling to her. Even though Greta’s children tried to get him to play with them, he rarely left her side. The only thing that made him happy was Daisy and her litter. He spent most of his time sitting beside her in the back of the wagon, talking to her and holding the puppies.
Now they were hours from the fort and Jack’s departure. Every time she thought of it, Sarah’s heart broke a little more. Tommy had been asking why ‘Mister Bard’ didn’t stop in the morning anymore. Sarah’s only explanation was that he was too busy working now that Horace Manny was arrested. Anyway, that was what she kept telling herself.
As the fort loomed closer, a cloud of dust rose as a contingent of soldiers halted by the first wagon. One-by-one the others before her stopped.
Sarah grabbed the yoke. “Whoa, Rose. Whoa, Tulip.”
“What are those men doing, Mommy?”
She’d finally enticed Tommy from Daisy’s side, and they’d been walking. She took Tommy’s hand and moved for a better view. “I don’t know, honey.” A lone rider came toward them. Wondering why a soldier would ride the line, she was surprised to see Jack dismount. Her heart fluttered as her stomach flipped. Had he changed his mind?
“Mister Bard! Mister Bard!” Tommy let go of her hand, raced to Jack, and jumped into his arms, sending him back several steps before they landed in a heap. “I missed you.”
Jack leaned up on his elbows and ruffled Tommy’s hair. “Missed you, too, cowboy.” He lifted Tommy from his stomach and stood.
Tommy picked up his fallen hat. “Why don’t you come and see us anymore?”
“I’ve been busy helping Sam.”
“Because Mister Manny is a bad man?”
Jack chuckled. “Yes.” He faced Sarah. “That’s what I came to tell you. Sam sent one of the men ahead to the fort to have soldiers come and take Manny to jail. He’ll stay there until a judge can come for a trial.”
Since he was arrested, Sarah had lived in fear Manny would somehow escape and come after her. Knowing he would be behind bars was a relief. Once they were back on the trail to Oregon City, with miles between her and the skunk, she would feel even better. Then an awful thought came to her.
“Will I have to testify?”
Without meeting her eyes, he shook his head. “No. Someone from the fort will write down witness accounts and present them to the judge. There are enough people to testify about his treatment of you and how he attacked me. I’m confident the judge will put him away long enough for you to get settled into your new life.” He tipped his hat and headed to his horse.
“Jack, wait.”
With one foot in a stirrup, he stopped, keeping his sight on Papaya’s back. “What, Sarah?”
“Are you leaving for your home right away?”
“I think that would be the best.”
Tommy tugged on Jack’s pants. “You can’t go, Mister Bard. I love you.”
Sarah’s heart broke at the tears running down her son’s face. While Sarah didn’t love Jack, she definitely liked him a lot. She had a feeling no other man would surpass how he’d made her body sing. The dark circles around her eyes, facing her in her small hand mirror each morning bore testament to a week of sleepless nights.
Jack squatted before Tommy and put his hands on his shoulders. “I’m sorry, cowboy. I have to. I have a ranch to get back to. You’ll have a new daddy in Oregon City.”
“I don’t want to go to ‘Gon City. You can take Mommy and me with you.” Tommy’s bottom lip quivered. “Please, Mister Bard? I’ll be a good boy.”
“Oh, Tommy.” Jack hugged him, his eyes suspiciously bright. “It has nothing to do with you being a good or bad boy. I don’t have room for children at my house. It’s too small.”
Knowing that he and Lily would have lived there after their child was born, Sarah doubted it. It was simply an excuse to run and hide from his feelings.
In the distance the soldiers retreated to the fort, Horace tied to a horse, his voice ringing out his displeasure. While she couldn’t hear exactly what he was yelling, she had a good idea it was about her and Jack.
“That’s enough, Tommy.” The wheels in the wagon in front of her squeaked as they rolled forward. Sarah tugged on her oxen until they followed. “Mister Billabard needs to get to work.” She gave Jack a pointed look. “Maybe he’ll stop and say goodbye before he leaves. Won’t you, Mister Billabard?”
Without a word, he tipped his hat, mounted his horse, and galloped away. Sarah bit her bottom lip and swallowed her tears. Would she ever see him again?
~ ~ ~
Three days later, Sarah walked alongside Tommy, holding his hand, while trying to keep her blasted oxen moving. They’d enjoyed their respite at Fort Laramie too much and had grown lazy. The rest of the trip west was going to be a long one.
“C’mon, you two. Let’s get a move on.”
“Do we have to go, Mommy?”
“I’m afraid so, honey.” With each rotation of the wheels, her heart grew heavier. During their break at the fort, they hadn’t seen any sign of Jack. She’d thought maybe he’d show up when they were being questioned about Horace. Searching for him while purchasing supplies to replace those lost in the storm was a lesson in futility. Was he purposely avoiding her? Either Jed or one of his boys accompanied her and Greta to the fort.
She figured he’d at least come to the dance last night to say his goodbyes, if not to her and Tommy, then the other people he’d met. Despite anticipating his arrival, he hadn’t shown. Declining every offer to dance by the single soldiers, she sat on the sidelines with Greta and Tommy.
Besides taking care of essentials while at the fort, she penned a few letters to send back home. Despite their hatred of her, she wrote one to her in-laws, letting them know they’d made it this far. Her letter to Mary Jones was much longer and detailed.
~ ~ ~
With her wagon cleared of all smoke and repacked with clean clothes and bedding, the next two days passed slowly. Tommy was distracted and ill-tempered. Sarah understood how he felt. The weather was hot, dry, and dusty. Despite the mountains as a change of scenery, nothing could change the monotony of plodding along. He missed Jack as much as she did. Even the puppies, just beginning to open their eyes, no longer held his interest.
“Sarah,” Greta called out, walking alongside the wagon. “Want some company?”
Of course she’d be delighted for her friend’s company. Tommy’s wiggling and constant questions about Jack were wearing on her already fractured nerves. “Sure. I’d love some. Tommy, why don’t you go play with Greta’s boys?”
“Don’t wanna.” He stuck his thumb in his mouth. Since Jack’s leaving, he gone back to the babyish habit.
“George found a snake he wants to show you.”
Tommy’s eyes lit up, and he popped out his thumb. “A snake?” In a second he was gone.
“Thanks, Greta. He needed something to get his mind off Jack, and I needed a break from his pouting and bad behavior.”
“Tommy’s missing him.” Greta hooked her arm through Sarah’s. With everyone getting ready for the next long leg of the trip, they hadn’t much of a chance to talk since leaving Fort Laramie.
“What about you? I was rather surprised to hear he was leaving t
he train. I was sure he felt something for you and you for him.” Greta waved her hand in front of her face. “If it’s going to be hot like this the rest of the trip, I may melt.”
How much should she share with Greta without breaking Jack’s confidence? He hadn’t said not to tell anyone. Besides, Greta was the one who had told her his wife had died. And it wasn’t as if she’d ever see the man again. With a teeny bit of guilt, Sarah relayed his story from that night nearly two weeks ago, but leaving out the more personal details.
“So, I’m to understand that he won’t give up his promise to never fall in love again after his wife died?”
Sarah nodded.
“That poor man. I know our marriages were different from his, but he needs to know it’s all right to go on with his life, to fall in love again.”
Sam walked toward them, stopping briefly at each wagon. Sarah hoped there wasn’t more trouble. “I tried to explain to him it wasn’t his fault, before we noticed the fire. We didn’t have a chance to continue our conversation.”
Greta shook her head. “For a man as intelligent as Jack, he sure is stupid.” She dug her fingers into Sarah’s arm. “And you. You’re just as bad.”
“Me?” Was Greta joking? What did she do?
“Yes, you. You could have done more to change his mind. Kiss him more. Give him a little leeway with your body.”
“Greta!” On one hand, Sarah was happy her friend obviously hadn’t seen them that night. On the other, shocked that Greta would suggest such a thing—even if it did happen.
“By now you should know I speak my mind. It was plain as day you two were attracted to each other. If I’d been you and had a handsome man like Jack Billabard interested in me, I would have let him have his wicked way with me. After all, ‘you know what widder women are like.’”
