by Morgan Rae
Jacob flicked his beer cap to the ground. “Sounds like a lot of hearsay to me.”
“You wouldn’t know,” Brent broke in boldly. He flicked his cigarette into the fire and it swallowed the butt whole. He gesticulated instead with what was probably his fifth or sixth beer, which dangled from his long fingers. “You haven’t been up there.”
“I’ve had my share of the mountain lately,” Jacob growled pointedly, reminding Brent that the last time they were up there, Brent had walked him into an ambush.
“He has a point, Jacob,” Cassidy said. “You can’t shift, not in your condition. I’ll go up there tomorrow and sniff it out.”
“No one’s going up the mountain,” Jacob said. “Don’t want you walking into a cougar nest too.”
“Goddammit, Jacob!” Brent snapped. “If you think I’d hurt Cassidy, you’ve really lost it now.”
“I don’t gotta tell you a damn thing,” Jacob said lowly.
“You know why I did what I did,” Brent said firmly. Like his voice was straining to push the words through Jacob’s stubborn skull.
“You wanna be Alpha, you can rip my crown from my dead hands,” Jacob said and took another swig of beer.
“Someone’s gonna! That’s the problem! It’s killing you, brother.”
Jacob stood suddenly. The fire shuddered as embers scattered under his boots. “You challenging me?” he asked. His voice was cold as black ice.
A hush fell over the pit. Even the crickets seemed to lower their wings.
“C’mon, now,” Cassidy murmured softly. “The cubs are here.”
“Dave, take the kids inside,” Brent said and he got to his feet, level with Jacob now. His stare locked on Jacob’s. The Alpha didn’t bat an eye.
Cassidy and Holly rushed to their feet.
“Jacob…what’s going on?” Holly whispered.
Cassidy got her hands on Brent’s chest and said firmly, “Stand down, you’ve got nothing to prove, don’t you dare—”
“Jacob!” Brent roared, “I’m calling a challenge. We settle this. Right here, right now.”
“You got it,” Jacob said and peeled his shirt over his head.
Chapter 56
Oh no, Holly thought.
Oh no, no, no. He wasn’t going to fight. He couldn’t.
One more transformation. That was what he’d told her. One more shift into his bear form and he wasn’t coming back. And Holly couldn’t think of a time more likely for him to spontaneously change than locked in a bare fistfight with his brother.
“Jacob,” she hissed. “Don’t do this. You can’t change. You’ll—”
“I’m not gonna change,” he said, then shot her that damn cocky smile. “I’ve got you here. You’re my rock.”
Like she was some lucky rabbit’s foot. Holly felt like he’d tied rocks around her ankles and tossed her into the deepest part of the ocean.
“You don’t know that,” she said under her breath. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Dave ushering the children away from the fire pit, back home. This was quickly tumbling into a disaster. All because of a couple overgrown boys and their egos. “Jacob,” Holly said and slipped her hand over her shoulder. Trying to calm him. Tame him. Like petting a jumpy stallion. “Please don’t do this.”
Look at me, Holly tried to scream through her eyes. She wanted to yell at him telepathically, where no one else could hear: I’m pregnant! We’re having a baby!
But now was not the time. Or place. She didn’t want to tell him here of all places. In front of the entire clan. Not when she was trying so hard to fit into his family and prove herself as a good little Alpha’s mate. Holly felt tears spring her eyes and her face flushed hotly. On top of everything, her hormones were going haywire. Of course. Because Holly Westmore could not catch a break. “Let’s just go home,” she tried finally, pawing at him. “Remember that…thing…I had to tell you about…”
He shrugged her off abruptly. Like she were some irritating horsefly. His eyes were trained on Brent. “Later, Holly.”
And that’s what it was always going to be. Later, Holly. I’ve got to take care of some “Alpha business.” But this wasn’t Alpha business. This was a pissing contest that was going to put both of them in jeopardy.
Holly heard Cassidy shout out Brent’s name, just as the younger brother charged and swung a wide arc at Jacob. Jacob ducked, narrowly missing the hit, and socked Brent once in the stomach, then in the face when the other doubled over.
Everyone backed off, even Cassidy. Like they were afraid to take a stand. Jacob paced, snarling, and his eyes flashed that animal copper. Finally, it wasn’t Jacob, but Holly, who was seeing red. She got right between them, shoved Jacob back with all of her strength, and—
She slapped him. Across the face. Holly had never slapped anyone before, never in her life, and the force behind it surprised her. Even in the dim firelight, she could see the angry red mark across his cheek. Jacob grabbed her wrist reflexively and turned on her. There was raw irritation in his eyes, but now he was looking at her, really looking at her, and she saw some of the steam go out of him. The gold glow in his eyes shimmered and quieted. “Have you lost your mind?” he said, his voice low. Brent, Cassidy, and the rest of the clan all went quiet as well, staring at Holly as though she’d reinvented the wheel.
“You’re always blaming your Beast on everything, but it’s not the bear, Jacob,” Holly said, her words sharp and cutting, flying out of her mouth like razor blades. “It’s you! You’re stubborn and proud and if you’re not honest with yourself, you’re going to tear your family apart.”
Jacob stared at her. The mark on his cheek had faded into a soft human warmth. All the fight had gone out of his voice now, the gravelly Alpha growl depleted, and he sounded concerned when he asked, “Holly, what’re you—?”
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out. Two words, and it should’ve felt like a relief unloading them from her chest. Instead, Holly felt raw, exhausted, forced into a corner she didn’t want to be in. She’d been pushed to use her last card and now that she had, she just wanted to curl up and sleep and forget this terrible, terrible night. Eyes brimming with tears, but determined not to let them fall, determined not to look weak in front of him right now, she said, calmly, through her teeth, “So maybe think about that next time you sign yourself up for something you might not come back from.”
Holly turned and walked away from Jacob. Away from the fire pit. Away from the clan of bears. She was just tired of this, tired of having to play peacekeeper. She left her heels in the dirt and walked barefoot up the hill, determined not to stop for anything. The dark of the night swallowed her vision, stars sprinkled before her, and Holly couldn’t stop the tears that slipped down her cheeks and she choked on them as she climbed to the top of the hill, towards their house. No way was she going to wait to get a ride from him. She didn’t want to be in the same car—heck, on the same planet—as Jacob right now.
She heard silence behind her (at least they weren’t fighting anymore). Then she heard feet pattering up to follow her. The hairs on the back of Holly’s neck rose; she didn’t want to even look at Jacob right now for fear of what else she might say, things she didn’t mean. Instead, she saw Cassidy beside her, catching up with her quickly. “Let me walk you home, sweetheart,” Cassidy said. There was something warm in Cassidy’s tone, something Holly hadn’t heard from Jacob’s sister before.
“I know, I know,” Holly said, and now she couldn’t hide the shake in her voice. “I emasculated him in front of the clan, I made the clan look weak, I know.” Any other day, Holly would be able to hide the bitterness in her voice, but now…it all came out. Cassidy was the last person Holly wanted to appear weak around. She didn’t want to give the other woman even more ammunition to use against her, proof that she wasn’t a true Alpha’s mate.
Instead of a tongue-lashing, Holly felt Cassidy’s arm wrap around her shoulders, snuggly. “No one stands up to my brother,” Cassidy said. “You’re
one tough chickadee, you know that, girl?”
That broke Holly. Fear from earlier, embarrassment, hurt—and now, on top of it, gratitude, relief, Cassidy respected her. That meant more to Holly than she thought it would and, before she knew it, she collapsed into Cassidy’s arms and broke down, crying.
“Shhh, mama,” Cassidy murmured, rubbing the other woman’s back. “It’s okay. We’re family here.”
Chapter 57
Cassidy walked Holly all the way to her house and stayed with her. She insisted on making tea and Holly didn’t have the energy to send her away. Holly sank into the plush sofa and stared at a coffee ring on the center table.
Cassidy set the herbal tea down in front of her, interrupting her vision. She smelled the sharply sweet scent of berries and honey.
“Blackberry tea,” Cassidy announced proudly, as she settled in beside Holly. Her hand rested on the small of Holly’s back. “It makes everything better. And it’s good on the bun in the oven.”
“Thanks,” Holly said. Numbly, she wrapped her fingers around the mug and stared at that instead. “I shouldn’t have told him like that,” she added after a moment.
“It was a little on the dramatic side,” Cassidy agreed, “But that’s our God-given right as women. We get to be dramatic.”
“It’s just…I wanted to be celebrating this,” Holly said. “And now…I don’t know how I feel.”
The rattling door startled both women and their heads jerked up. Jacob stepped in, his boots dragging across the hardwood floor, and Holly thought he looked wet, even though it wasn’t raining—soggy, droopy. His eyes were deep when they caught hers—a dark well—and he gave a small shrug of heavy shoulders and said plainly, “Can we talk?”
Holly felt small, suddenly, so small, tiny in the face of this great, prideful man’s vulnerability. She felt her gaze drop with her chin, head wilting. She felt Cassidy squeeze her shoulder. “Do you want me to stay, love?” Cassidy asked.
Holly just barely shook her head. “No. Thank you.”
Cassidy pressed a soft kiss to Holly’s forehead and then stood up off the couch. Her shoes scuffed softly across the rug.
“You be good to her, y’hear me?” Cassidy barked.
“Yeah,” Holly heard Jacob reply dismissively.
The door shuddered closed once more. Now Holly was left with nothing but Jacob’s thunderous silence.
His boots thunked on the ground and she noticed a stain on the couch she hadn’t seen before. Had it always been there? Or had that been a sloppy spill on the night of conception? She should try to wash it out or, at very least, put a throw pillow over it—
“Holly.” His voice, low and vibrant, impossible to ignore. He had physically lowered himself, on his knees in front of her so he could be eye level with her. His hands rested on her thighs to hold her attention and when she looked into his eyes, they looked like they might break. “Is it true?”
She felt like she was the size of a mouse as she wanted to find a hole in the couch to hide in. “You think I would lie about something like that?” she said sharply. A rodent snapping at a cat, barely disturbing his whiskers.
He didn’t respond to that. He only asked, voice firm, “How long have you known?”
“Not long,” she said, pushing the words out maybe too quickly. As though she were rushing to her own defense. As though she had anything to hide…he should be the one on the defensive, not her. The thought made her irate, and her jaw tightened. “Just…this morning. I took a test. It came out positive.”
He let out a strange sound—somewhere between a groan of relief and a sigh. Jacob’s head dropped into her lap and his fingers gripped her legs. He pressed a kiss to her thigh, and then one to her stomach, and murmured, “God…thank you…”
The genuine, raw joy from him almost broke her. Almost. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she sniffed, brushed it away, and tried to stay strong. She wanted to be happy. This was more how she had imagined it—celebratory. Celebrating this new life, this precious baby. Wellsprings of happiness she’d kept forcibly caged—just in case his reaction was sour—threatened to unleash. But there was a cold, hard casing around her heart now, and now, more than ever, she felt trapped. Now, when she wanted to be happy, to enjoy this with him, but the logical part of her, the sensible part, knew better. “That doesn’t change what happened,” she said, though her voice shook.
Jacob looked up at her, soft eyes meeting hers—he looked like a puppy dog now, not a strong, intimidating bear Alpha—and his lips pressed in a thin, guilty line. “I know,” he said heavily. “If I’d known—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Holly broke in. “It shouldn’t. We’re supposed to be building a life together, we’re supposed to be working towards…something. And when you do things like that…” She lifted her hand in a vague gesture and, frustrated with her inability to find the right words, let her arm drop heavily back to her side. “It makes me feel like you want to give into the Beast. Like you would rather be that animal than be here. With me.”
Oceans. His eyes could have carried oceans; they were that dark and deep. Stunned. His lips were parted, but not a sound came out.
“Is that what I should do, Jacob?” Holly held her gaze, though her voice fell nearly to a whisper. “Should I prepare for you to leave me?”
“No…” His hand cupped the side of her face, his brown eyes going suddenly soft and intense at the same time. “We’ll figure this out.”
Her hand drew over his and she entwined their fingers and then pressed a kiss to his palm. “I’m trying to help you. I’m trying so hard. And every time you do something like that…it feels like you’re spitting in my face.”
Jacob glanced up at her, eyebrows lifted.
Holly continued, “Which…you know. If it’s in the bedroom, that’s one thing. I like when you humiliate me there. Where it’s just us and it’s…safe. But outside…I need you to respect me. I need us to be a team. We can’t be a family unless we’re a team, and that scares me.”
His hand gave hers a single tight squeeze. “It’s been…just me. For so long. I had to take care of my siblings when I was just a kid myself. It left a mark. Makes it hard for me to accept someone else’s help.”
Holly pulled her hair back to bare her scar. “You left a mark. We’re even.”
He smiled. A small smile. Then it turned sad. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry,” she said. “Show me.”
Chapter 58
The crickets outside chirred noisily and the pages crinkled as Jacob turned them over. Holly had her research sprawled out on the table in front of him and Jacob sat there quietly, going through it bit by bit. Any other day, she’d have to fight him to sit down and go over this with her. Now, he was quiet, thoughtful, and he read through every word, his glasses perched on his nose. “That’s him?” he asked.
Holly nodded. “Robin Hoyte. Bonafide witch. Or…wizard. Is that the term?”
“Warlock,” Jacob said evenly. Holly found it strange that she—who had read the Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, and Wicked countless times—couldn’t seem to spit the right words out, while these wild, fantastical words somehow sounded natural rolling off the mountain man’s tongue.
“He’s the one who put this spell on your clan. He cursed the Alphas with…moonlust. He’s gone, I think, but his power is still in that talisman. At least, that’s the theory,” Holly corrected herself.
Jacob stared at the picture for a moment and then took off his glasses and set them down on the table. Holly could hear the rough scratch of his beard as he rubbed his hand over it thoughtfully. “She had the talisman the whole time,” he said. His tone was deep, hardened. “Miranda knows what it’s capable of. And she’s just been sitting back and watching me suffer.”
Holly saw it. The golden shimmer around his irises. The violence in his voice. He was working himself into a rage. All night, he’d been trying to pick a fight. Holly slipped her hand
down the back of his neck, petting the scruffy hair there, and said, “We’ll get it back—”
“It’s a betrayal,” he growled. That word, it had gotten under his skin and infected him. Ever since Brent. Everyone was out to betray him.
It scared her seeing him like this, all cold metal and sharp, jagged edges. It felt like she was losing him already. “Shhh,” Holly said and drew his face in close. She pressed a kiss to his mouth and said, “You’re getting yourself worked up, Jacob. She’s not worth it.”
But then his attention was on her, the big bad wolf peering through the cracks in the foliage, and Holly felt a shiver run down her spine. He grabbed her suddenly, ferociously, and kissed her hard enough to bruise her lips.
She’d asked for this, Holly reminded herself. She’d wanted him to give her his Beast. And it took her breath away when he got like this, all singular need and aggression. Kissing her like he meant to devour her, fucking her like he meant to split her in half. It made her skin burn, her nether lips swell, and she dug her nails into his shoulder, a quiet reminder (it’s okay, I’m here).
Jacob didn’t stop there, though. His hand found her throat and he gripped hard—too hard. He didn’t know his own strength. She gasped, vision blurring briefly, and then a thought flashed through her head: baby.
“Jacob—wait, slow,” she rasped, and he stopped, releasing her.
The Beast hadn’t left, but worry locked in his eyes now. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, swallowed. “Yeah…just….take it slow. Please.”
But there was an untethered impatience lingering in his eyes. “You told me to give you the Beast,” he said firmly. And she heard the unspoken word in his tone: betrayal. Even though he’d never admit it, right now, she was just another person who let him down.
Holly nodded, then drew both hands over his face, fingers tangling in the curls of his beard. “I did,” she said evenly. “And I meant it. But I think there’s more to your bear than claws and fangs.”
