by Leann Harris
“Bro, this is your brother. The guy that suffered through the same thing you did. It’s going well doesn’t cut it.”
“Since when did you become my psychologist?”
“Since you took that last punch from Jimmy Morgan.”
Jimmy had been the last boyfriend their mother had had before Caleb had petitioned the court to declare him an emancipated minor. If Caleb hadn’t stepped in and taken the punch Jimmy threw, it might have killed Sawyer. When Jimmy raised his fist to hit Caleb again, he quietly said, “Try it.” Caleb vibrated with determination and conviction. Jimmy backed off. Later, their mother, who stood idly by and watched, defended Jimmy saying Sawyer had provoked him. The boys had left that night for a shelter.
“I ran into Charlie Newman and attended his cowboy church today. He talked about letting go of the mistakes of the past. I’ve been wrestling with what he said. And when I was talking to Kaye—”
“Kaye who?”
“Captain Brenda Kaye, Joel’s sister.”
“She’s a police officer?”
“No, she’s ex-army. Now you want me to tell you the story or do you want to keep interrupting?”
A chuckle came through the phone. “Please continue.”
“Kaye is dealing with some heavy stuff from her time in the army and other things. As I was talking to her about those things, I realized what happened with Tag was an accident.”
“Thank You, God.” The words were barely audible.
“I’ve been that out of it?” Caleb didn’t realize he could be read that easily.
“Yeah, I could’ve told you that, but you weren’t ready to hear it. And I’d like to meet Kaye.”
“I think you have a job you’re doing.”
“True, but I’m almost done. You could capture a picture of her on your phone and send it to me.”
“I don’t know. Tell you what. How about I trade pictures with you. You send me pictures of the folks giving you a hard time, and I’ll send you Kaye’s picture.”
Sawyer remained silent for several seconds.
“Hey, if we’re going to do this, let’s be fair.”
“Okay. But God’s answered my prayers for you. You going to ride pick-up for Kaye?”
“No. I’m having some other pick-up riders do it.”
“Why?”
Caleb didn’t have a good answer. “Since I’ve already lined up other riders, they don’t need me. And I don’t want to cancel on them.”
“I think if you’ve realized it was an accident, then let God finish the healing and ride.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t think. Do.” Sawyer hung up.
Caleb pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it.
Sawyer’s words planted a truth in his heart. Could he do it?
“Lord, I need some help here.” But he knew that saying God had healed him and acting on it were two different things, and he just didn’t know if he could do it. He had the head knowledge, but his heart was a different matter.
* * *
Kaye stepped out of Ken Moody’s office at city hall. As she walked outside, she found herself smiling. After her talk with Caleb yesterday afternoon, she and God had had a long chat last night. Old pains and disappointments were laid at His feet. Today, the sun seemed to shine brighter and the birds sang sweeter.
Across the street from the city office stood a new coffee/tea/bakery, Sweet Treats. A latte was calling her name and she would answer the call. She hurried across the street and had her hand on the door when she heard, “Whoa, Kaye.”
Billye Ludwig Zimmerman waved to her and hurried down the sidewalk, a large gray dog with a wiry coat at her side. She stopped before Sweet Treats. “I’m so glad I saw you because I wanted to talk to you.”
Kaye looked at the large dog. “Is he yours?”
Billye looked adoringly down at the dog. “This is Branigan. He’s an Irish wolfhound and, aside from my kids, Branigan was one of the few good things I got out of my marriage. Aren’t you, big guy?” Billye ruffled the fur on the dog’s head. He looked at Billye with loving eyes. “Too bad my ex wasn’t as affectionate.”
“Want to join me for a latte?” Kaye asked looking down at the dog. “That is if Sweet Treats allows it.”
“Oh, you read my mind, but Branigan can’t go inside. They have a patio on the side, though.”
“Sounds good.”
After they ordered their drinks and pastries, they settled at a small table on the porch. Branigan stretched out beside the table. “Br—Kaye, I have a wonderful idea for the rodeo. I have a friend who is a boot maker. He’s made a name for himself, and he’s willing to donate a custom pair of boots for the winner of a raffle.”
“Who is that?”
“Jason Kelly. He’s out of San Angelo. My ex, when he wanted to play cowboy and have a really fancy set of boots, contacted Jason. Jason called me last night and asked if he could donate his services to the charity rodeo. I told him I’d get in contact with you.”
“He called you? Jason Kelly?” Kaye knew who the man was. His reputation preceded him.
Billye leaned over the table. “Can you believe it? I nearly passed out when he told me who he was. But if he offered to do boots, well, I wasn’t going to say no. He heard about the rodeo through some of his connections.”
Kaye marveled at how God was spreading the word. “What a fantastic idea. I’d love to add his donation to the rodeo. Give me his number and I’ll contact him and get the details.”
Billye pulled the boot maker’s information out of her purse and handed the paper to Kaye. “You’ll like him.” She wiggled her eyebrow. “He’s not hard on the eyes.”
Billye reached down and slipped Branigan part of her muffin. “You’re looking better than the last time we met. There’s something about you—a glow.” Billye rubbed her chin, then her eyes lightened. “Is there something going on between you and that handsome cowboy at your ranch?”
Kaye’s hands fumbled with the zipper of her purse. “Why would you ask that?”
“Oh, please. This is Billye Ludwig, your best bud in high school. You could never hide when you had a crush on some boy. You knew when I fell in love with my ex. And why didn’t you try to talk me out of it?”
“I did,” Kaye replied.
The wind went out of Billye’s sails. “Okay, I’ll give you that, but you didn’t answer my question. Give it up. Why the smile?”
Kaye couldn’t keep back her joy. “Lots of things. Yesterday, we went to the cowboy church in the stockyards.” Kaye explained about the sermon and how it touched her.
Billye’s eyes welled with tears. “Oh, I’ve prayed for you, friend. Those months after your parents died hurt us all, seeing you pull into yourself and not let anyone in. I just didn’t know how to help.”
Kaye had been so lost in her own misery that she hadn’t realized how others had viewed it.
“I knew why you joined the army, but I lost my best friend. I wanted to talk to you about Tom’s proposal, to get your opinion. I knew you weren’t crazy about him, but you never said why.” She shrugged.
Kaye caught Billye’s hand. “I’m sorry. After what happened to my family, I was lost in a fog. I’m surprised I was able to graduate. I should’ve been there for you. I knew Tom was a selfish jerk at homecoming when his friend gave him his spot on the fifty-yard line but there wasn’t enough room for both of you. He let you find your own spot at the side of the bleachers.” It had been a pathetic sight to see Billye sitting by herself with that massive mum on her shoulder. Kaye and her date had sat with Billye.
Billye covered Kaye’s hand. “My mom told me the same thing. I was just too determined to get married.” She took a deep breath. “But enough about me. You still haven’t told me about that
secret smile. And if I had my guess, I’d say it has something to do with Caleb.”
It was like old times. “I could never divert you, could I?”
“Nope.” Billye waited.
“Caleb is unique. He’s— Well, he’s the calm in the midst of the storm.” Kaye didn’t want to mention the kiss. “And he’s got a great horse.”
Coffee spurted out of Billye’s nose and mouth. They both started laughing. Branigan scrambled from his sprawled position and looked around for the danger. Billye petted her dog, calming him down.
Kaye wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to gain control of her laughter.
“A great horse?” Billye repeated and they both broke out into another fit of laughter.
When Kaye could answer, she said, “Well, Caleb’s amazing. He’s—”
“That’s okay.” Billye held up her hand. “Whatever he is, he’s caught your eye and put that glow in your cheeks. That’s good enough for me.”
Kaye grinned back at her friend, feeling as light and joyful as she had before that fatal New Year’s Eve. “Yeah, he has.”
Billye’s eyes softened and her smile reflected the emotion. “It’s about time, Brenda Lynn Kaye, that you experience some joy in your life. I want you to know, I missed my best friend while you were gone. There’s been no one to take your place.” Billye caught Kaye’s hand and squeezed. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
Kaye’s heart jerked at her friend’s words. She hadn’t realized how her pain had affected others, and God was showing her she was not alone.
She’d never been alone.
Her phone rang. Kaye fumbled with her purse and grabbed the phone. “Hello.”
“May I speak to Brenda Kaye?”
“This is she.” As Kaye listened to the person on the other end, her eyes went wide. “Now?” Kaye eyed her friend. “Okay, then I’ll see you in ten minutes at the fairgrounds.” When she disconnected the call she turned to Billye. “Would you like to be interviewed by a Myra Taos about the charity rodeo?” Myra was the leading TV reporter in the Dallas/Fort Worth market.
“You’re kidding me, aren’t you?”
“No. She wants to do a story for tonight’s news about the rodeo, and she needs to interview one of the contributors. You can pitch the custom boots. It should bring in more bids.”
“That’s the girl I knew in high school.”
Kaye was beginning to come to terms with that girl she’d left here.
They gathered up their items and started toward the fairgrounds a couple streets away. Branigan trailed behind his master.
“Maybe your dog will be the next TV star.”
They looked down at the dog and laughed as they had in high school. It was a good memory.
* * *
“So how’d your meeting go in town?” Caleb asked as he and Joel walked into the kitchen. They’d been out most of the day, repairing fences and checking on the cattle. Caleb was suspicious that Joel had checked the fences to avoid having to mess with details of the rodeo.
Before Kaye could answer, Gramps called out from the living room. “Brenda, what are you doing on TV?”
When they’d ridden in this afternoon and put their saddles in the barn, Gramps had been there sitting on a bale of hay. It appeared he was sleeping, but he’d covered himself when he walked out with the guys, saying the barn was finally reorganized.
They all hurried into the living room just as the anchor introduced the piece. Next came Myra on the screen, explaining about the rodeo. Kaye, Billye and Branigan were in the interview piece.
“One of the raffles will be for custom boots by Jason Kelly,” Billye explained.
“The outpouring of support has been overwhelming,” Kaye added. “Everyone wants to contribute to the funds to buy the seed.”
The camera cut back to the reporter. “Jason Kelly is the number-one custom boot maker in the state. This rodeo should be a good one and is sure to touch the hearts of many. Myra Taos, reporting. Back to you in the studio.”
All three males looked at Kaye.
“When did that happen?” Gramps asked.
“Yeah, have you been holding out on us, Sis?”
“No. After my meeting with the mayor this morning that no one wanted to go to, I saw Billye. We were talking when the reporter called. She was already here in town and we did the interview.”
“I think what Joel meant was when did Jason Kelly donate the boots?” Caleb explained.
“Oh. Billye told me this morning.” Caleb’s puzzled look joined Joel’s and Gramps’s. “At least I found out about it this morning when Billye told me.”
“How’d you get Jason to donate boots?” Joel asked.
“Yeah, the boots he made for me several years ago set me back a tidy sum,” Caleb added. “I was fortunate and caught him before he got famous. Of course, those boots are still my favorite and fit like a glove.”
Kaye shrugged. “I’m not certain. He could’ve heard about it through his rodeo connections, or some of the news reports. That’s not important. What matters is he’s going to do it.”
“It’s sure something to see how this is coming together.” And it wasn’t just the way the rodeo was coming together. Caleb knew there was a way out of the mess his life had turned into.
* * *
The next week Tina Linton from the university called. “Kaye, would you like to visit one of the clinics dealing with PTSD?”
“I’d love to. When could we arrange it?”
“Do you have time this afternoon? There is a group session, and I thought it might help you to decide at what level you’d like to work and what certification you’d want.”
Kaye wasn’t sure, but deep inside she felt this was heaven opening a door. “I’d love to go. Just tell me when and where.”
Tina gave her the information, and at one o’clock that afternoon, Kaye sat in a group session of former marines, sailors and soldiers. One of the marines was a woman. The guy leading the session, Ben Sisk, introduced Kaye.
“This is ex-captain Brenda Kaye. She’s going to be sitting in on our session today. She’s training to work with vets with PTSD.”
Kaye wanted to object and say she was thinking about it, but one guy asked, “Where’d you serve?”
“I was part of the all-female Team Lioness in Baghdad.”
He folded his arms over his chest, but Kaye saw the respect in his eyes. “I heard about them. If we had to pat down a woman, we needed a female soldier or else...” The man shook his head.
“True,” Kaye answered. “We had some tricky situations.”
The session started and Kaye listened to the vets recount stories they didn’t know how to handle. Finally, one man turned to Kaye. “What about you, Captain? You got any baggage?”
Ben held up his hand. “She’s just here as an observer.”
“That’s okay, Ben. I don’t mind answering since everyone here has been so up-front and honest.” She turned to the man who asked the question. “When I was in Baghdad, I was assigned as liaison with the women of a certain neighborhood. I got to know them, like them, laugh with them and discovered what their fears and dreams were and what they wanted for their children. The army rebuilt one of their schools, and their girls were going to attend.
“We met at a café to celebrate the school’s opening and I brought gifts for them, books for the girls. When I leaned over to get the gifts—” she took a deep breath “—the suicide bomber walked in and detonated himself. I was the only survivor. The school never opened and all the work I’d done—poof. Gone.”
“Wow, you have any nightmares?” the man asked.
“Yeah, and guilt,” Kaye added.
Everyone in the group shook their heads in understanding. After ninety minutes the session ended. Ever
y member of the group stopped to shake her hand. When the lone female paused in front of Kaye, her eyes said it all. “It’s good to talk to another female vet. There were things that happened that men don’t understand, and I don’t want to share in group. I hope you come back.”
Kaye understood only too well. “Thanks,” she whispered and knew in that instant, this was the path God wanted her to travel.
Once they were alone in the large room and putting up chairs, Ben said, “Once you start your training, I’d love for you to come here and help. And you definitely can do your training hours here.”
“Thanks, but—”
“What?”
“I might need more counseling myself before I can help anyone.” She couldn’t meet Ben’s gaze.
“Kaye, we all have nightmares.”
She stopped and understood Ben’s message that he, too, had his share of nightmares.
“It doesn’t disqualify you. In fact, it gives you street cred and, as you go through the classes and certification, you’ll find a way to deal with it.”
On her drive home, there was a peace in her soul. She’d found her way. She wasn’t to the end, but she’d started on the right path. And she wanted to share her discovery with Caleb.
* * *
When Kaye drove up to the house, the driveway was filled with satellite trucks from the national network. Kaye managed to squeeze her jeep around several trucks and parked next to Caleb’s trailer. She slipped inside the barn, wondering what was going on.
Caleb stood in the shadows, watching the house.
“What’s going on?”
“Seems Myra’s piece caught the attention of her network executives in New York and they sent one of their reporters out to the ranch to interview you.”
Kaye glanced at the house. “Haven’t they heard about calling for an interview?”
“Apparently, they did. Gramps took the call. When they showed up, he fessed up and said they’d called yesterday.”
Kaye pursed her lips and shook her head.
“It will be good publicity for the rodeo. Myra’s interview seems to have exploded this thing. Seems another couple radio stations called today from El Paso, San Angelo and San Antonio. It’s as if the western part of this state wants to help. With national exposure, who knows, you might get cowboys from all over the nation to come. And the more money we generate, the more it will help the ranchers.”
