I was glad I’d put on my best dress.
Dan was on his own, leaning on the reception desk, and I headed over. My legs were so shaky that I wasn’t entirely sure they’d carry me across the marble floor. He was in his best trousers and a shirt I hadn’t seen before and his arm was out of its sling. Even his shoes had been polished. My husband was a handsome devil, I thought, with a small whoosh of excitement.
‘Wow.’ His eyes lit up as I reached him. He pressed a kiss to my cheek. ‘I’ve missed you.’
I gave him a twirl, spinning round precariously in my high heels. ‘You approve?’
‘Definitely. You look …’ His eyes shone and he shook his head in wonder. ‘Gorgeous. I’m a lucky man. If, that is, if, you’re still, you know …’ He cleared his throat and raked a hand through his hair.
I couldn’t help smiling. It felt good to be out together, dressed up. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a date like this, just the two of us, dressed up and out somewhere fancy.
‘Right, Dan, here’s the thing.’ I blew my cheeks out to psych myself up. I’d prepared a little speech and I was determined to get it off my chest before we went any further. ‘I need to say something while we’re alone.’
‘Okay, Hetty, but—’ Dan started but I shook my head.
‘No, let me finish, I need to say this. It’s been brewing all week. Sleeping with my best friend was possibly the worst thing you could have done.’
Dan looked at the floor, swearing softly under his breath.
‘But you were young, you never repeated it, and it was a long time ago. And let’s face it, neither of us ever got the chance to sow our wild oats, did we?’
‘Excuse me.’ A girl’s head popped up from behind the counter. Her face was as red as a cherry and she couldn’t meet my eye. She cleared her throat. ‘Here you go, Sir.’
She pushed a plastic packet containing a toothbrush across the desk to him. ‘I knew we had one somewhere.’
‘Thank you,’ he mumbled in a gruff voice. He flicked a sideways glance at me. ‘Forgot my toothbrush.’
‘Right.’ My voice came out as a whisper.
The girl looked uncertainly from Dan to me. ‘Did you still want to check in?’
We both nodded and I felt a bubble of laughter rise to the surface. Dan looked at me and his lips twitched.
‘Oh yes,’ said Dan, deadpan. ‘There are plenty more wild oats where they came from.’
The girl, who according to her name badge was called Imelda, smiled cautiously while we filled in the registration form. ‘And if you’d like to peruse the menus while having a drink at our bar, someone will take your luggage to your room. Just pop it over there.’
We smiled our thanks and I wheeled my case to the end of the desk where she’d indicated.
‘And your luggage, Sir?’ Imelda asked.
She blinked at him as he pushed the toothbrush back towards her.
‘I like to travel light,’ he said with a boyish grin.
I caught Imelda’s eye and shook my head in despair as she slid our room key towards me.
She moved away to deal with some other guests and Dan and I giggled to ourselves. I tucked the key in my bag and we walked away from the desk.
‘Well, I think we managed to check in without embarrassing ourselves in the slightest,’ I said wryly.
He smiled. ‘Yep, do you think she could tell we don’t come to this sort of place very often?’
‘I’d put money on it. “I like to travel light”,’ I mimicked and rolled my eyes. ‘Anyway, as I was saying before we were so politely interrupted—’
‘Hold that thought. Let’s find somewhere more private first.’ Dan guided us to a small velvet couch in a quiet corner.
We sat knee to knee, bodies twisted so that we could look at each other, and I studied my husband’s face. Every curve and line was so familiar and yet now I thought I spied a few extra grey hairs at his temple, a deeper line etched between his brows. My heart ached for us both that we were going through such a tough time.
‘If I’m honest, I will probably never get over you cheating on me with Anna, and with Bart there as a permanent reminder, I’m hardly ever going to forget.’
Dan reached for my hands and hung his head. ‘I guess not.’
‘But,’ I continued. I paused, taking in his hopeful expression. A million butterflies took flight in my stomach. Whatever I said now, I had to be able to stand by it; I couldn’t change my mind next week, or next month or next year. It wouldn’t be fair. On any of us.
I took a deep breath. ‘I say we draw a line in the sand. We move on and deal with the consequences. Together. What happens now is up to us. Bart and Anna are such a big part of our lives, but I want you to know that this isn’t something I shall drag out of the closet to use against you any time we have a row.’
‘Thank you,’ he murmured, blowing out the breath he’d been holding. ‘That’s so good to hear.’
He held up his hands to show me. ‘I’m trembling.’
I turned them over, tracing the scars from the accident with my thumb, and pressed one of them to my chest. ‘Me too.’
‘So you forgive me?’ He moved closer until his shiny shoes touched the toes of my one and only pair of heels, his eyes roaming my face.
I nodded. ‘I can’t promise that I won’t get a twinge of jealousy about it now and again, and I’m still not sure how we’re going to deal with Anna and Bart. But we’re only human. We’ve both invested in this marriage, we’ve both made sacrifices. I’m not going to throw away this wonderful life over one night fifteen years ago.’
Dan’s eyes looked a bit misty. ‘You’re such a better person than I am; I think I’d find it hard to move on if you’d been with someone else.’
I bit my lip and thought about Gil. No more secrets. ‘I did have a brief fling in Cornwall, actually.’
‘You got together with someone else straight after me?’ Dan looked gobsmacked.
I tilted my chin up defiantly. I’d done nothing wrong; he had finished with me after all. ‘Yes, Gil Pemberton of Pemberton’s Pasties.’
Dan blinked. ‘He was that guy in the pasty shop. I thought he was a bit curt with me when I came to ask you to come home. It makes sense now.’
‘That’s not surprising. I was an emotional wreck when I’d arrived in Padstow,’ I retorted. ‘He’d had to listen to me pour my heart out about you for weeks. Then you waltzed in and I followed you back to Cumbria as meek as a lamb.’
Dan was still staring at me incredulously. ‘Did you ever hear from him again?’
‘I saw him in London the other week, funnily enough,’ I said, glancing towards the revolving doors where a man with a child buggy was having a few problems with his wheels. I focused my gaze on them, partly because of the ruckus he was making and partly to avoid eye contact with Dan. ‘He was competing in the same pie category as me; he was the gold winner.’
‘That must have been weird for you.’
‘Just a bit.’ I cleared my throat. ‘Actually, it was good to see him; he’s married now with kids. We’ve been in touch a few times over the last week; he’s been helping me with my business plans.’
Dan was bristling with pent-up emotions, which under the circumstances he didn’t dare express. ‘Oh, now I’m not sure how happy I am about this.’
‘And he was the one who made me realize,’ I continued, ignoring him, ‘that some good has come from all this.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘Go on.’
‘I told him about your and Anna’s one-night stand. I said that no matter how much we all wanted it to be, it could never be brushed under the carpet and forgotten about because Bart had been born as a consequence. And Gil reminded me how distraught I had been when I’d heard Bart had been injured.’
I shifted in my seat, hoping that Dan wouldn’t put two and two together and realize I’d been with Gil when Poppy had rung.
‘Well, of course,’ Dan murmured, frowning, ‘he’s ou
r godson.’
‘Exactly. I love Bart,’ I continued, looking into Dan’s eyes. ‘I’m glad he’s in our lives, so I have to embrace all that that entails, which includes his conception. Okay, maybe I won’t embrace that part, but I have to accept it.’
‘He’s a great kid,’ Dan said simply and then clamped his lips together as if scared to say too much.
I waited patiently.
‘I’m finding this difficult,’ he added.
I nodded encouragingly. ‘It is difficult.’
‘I love him too. Very much.’ The flicker of cautious happiness in his eyes made me want to fling my arms around him: he loved his son, but I could see he was worried about the impact these new feelings might have on me.
‘Bart is going to find this quite a shock,’ I said. ‘But one day he’s going to realize how lucky he is to have you for a dad. And he’s going to love you right back.’
‘And you, Hetty?’ The look he gave me made my stomach flip just like it did that first time he asked me out in the sixth-form common room in front of everyone. ‘Do you still love me?’
I didn’t even have to think about it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him like my life depended on it. ‘Yes. Yes I do.’
Somewhere close by I heard someone cough discreetly and I broke off our kiss and tugged at the hem of my dress.
‘Whoops,’ I whispered, ‘we’ll get thrown out before we even make it out of reception at this rate.’
‘On that note,’ said Dan with a grin, ‘I think this calls for a drink.’
He held his hand out to pull me up, but I grabbed his arm.
‘Wait,’ I said. ‘There’s something else. Another announcement.’
He winced. ‘Oh dear.’
I took a nervous breath and launched into my surprise. ‘You and I missed out on our years of freedom, we decided to forego university to stay on the farm, together. And I think a part of me will always be a bit sad about that. But I’ve been thinking. I’ve got my new pie business to spice up my life and it’s time you had an adventure too.’
Dan’s brow furrowed. ‘Finding out I’ve got a fourteen-year-old son and getting hit by a livestock trailer is quite enough adventure for me for one year, thank you.’
‘I said I love you and I meant it,’ I said firmly, ‘but I think some time apart would do us good.’
‘You want us to separate?’ His face fell.
I shook my head. ‘No, no, not a separation, just a chance to find out who we are, without each other.’
He scratched his head. ‘Where are you going with this?’
I took a deep breath. ‘I’m not going anywhere, Dan, you are.’
From my bag, I fished out the information pack I’d downloaded from the internet and handed it to him.
‘Borneo?’ He stared at me. ‘What is this? I can’t just swan off to Asia for a holiday.’
‘Oh yes you can,’ I argued. ‘And it’s not a holiday. It’s a two-month volunteering trip to assist with the orphan orangutans. You’ll love it. Poppy’s very jealous.’
‘Two months …?’ He shook his head in disbelief. ‘What about the farm? And the cost?’
‘Just listen.’ I touched a finger to his lips and smiled. My insides fizzed with excitement now that the news was out. I told him how I’d spent all week making arrangements. Naomi and Oscar were going to help and Cameron had agreed to do an extra day a week while Dan was away. I’d been to see the business advisor at the bank and had set up a new business account for Hetty’s Farmhouse Bakery. Having a cheque for two thousand pounds seemed to smooth over most of his queries. Although I did stress that fifty per cent of that money would be paid as a donation to a charity in exchange for Dan’s place on the project.
‘Farm labour is all sorted. And I can’t think of a better way to spend the prize money from Britain’s Best Bites.’
His eyes widened. ‘But I thought you needed that money to convert the kitchen?’
‘Who told you that? Oh, Naomi,’ I added, answering my own question. ‘There’ll be enough left over for the work needed, don’t you worry about that.’
Sort of. There’d be enough to do most of it, anyway; I’d just have to earn the rest over time. It would be fine.
He ran his eyes over the documents I’d given him. ‘This does sound amazing.’ He looked at me, his eyes shining. ‘You’re amazing.’
‘I know. Can we have that drink now?’
‘Definitely,’ he said in a shaky voice.
Hand in hand, we crossed the marble foyer again in search of the bar but as we got to the middle my phone buzzed with a text message. I fished it out of my handbag and stopped to read the screen. The pianist had changed her tune and was now playing ‘Somethin’ Stupid’.
‘It’s from Anna.’
Dan shot me a sideways look. ‘Are you two on speaking terms?’
‘Yes. Well, texting.’ I registered his surprise and shrugged. ‘I had to check she was okay. I was worried about her mental health without anyone else around to support her.’
He slipped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. ‘You’re a kind soul.’
‘Poppy and I have been in to see Bart.’ I pulled a guilty face. ‘Although admittedly I timed it so that I wouldn’t see Anna. She’s not there quite so much now that he’s on the mend.’
‘And? How is he?’
‘Loving the attention. There was a group of adoring fans around his bed when we got there; Poppy was most put out.’ I smiled. ‘Physically he’s doing well too, and very proud of his stitches. Coming home tomorrow, I believe.’
‘Has Anna told him yet?’ His Adam’s apple bobbed. ‘About me?’
I shook my head. ‘That’s what she’s texting about. She was going to tell him as soon as he came out of hospital but I suggested that we tell the kids together – all of us, on Sunday, at ours, for lunch.’
Dan inhaled sharply. ‘In front of Poppy? Is that wise?’
‘It won’t be easy, but it will be fair. No more secrets and everyone hears the same story. As a family. Is that okay with you?’
I watched his face to see his reaction. This affected my daughter too and I wanted it to be handled properly to protect her. Besides, I got the impression that Anna felt so guilty that she was quite happy to be guided by me. I’d invited her and Bart to lunch on Sunday in my kitchen, where many of the important moments in the Greengrass family history had taken place. This may well be the most important ever.
‘As a family,’ Dan repeated, going pale. ‘What does Anna say?’
‘She’s agreed.’
‘Does that mean you’re coming home to Sunnybank Farm?’
I nodded. ‘Normal service will be resumed as of Sunday morning.’
Dan folded me into his arms, wincing slightly at the pain in his collarbone. ‘Thank heavens.’
Over by the piano, a man in a dinner suit began to croon along to ‘Something Stupid’. Dan laced his fingers through mine and then we were dancing, cheek to cheek, laughing and ignoring the odd looks from everyone else.
‘Like I love you,’ he sang softly into my ear, joining in with the chorus.
‘Ditto,’ I murmured back.
And then his mouth was on mine and suddenly my insides were on fire.
‘I’m not really that hungry,’ he said gruffly, his stubble grazing my lip tantalizingly.
‘Me neither.’
‘Shall we?’ He nodded to the big fancy staircase.
My eyes twinkled at him. ‘Race you.’
And much to the amusement of the other guests, the farmer and his wife charged up the stairs to their room.
In the early hours of the next morning, I woke up, carefully slid from Dan’s arms and padded across the thick carpet to the bathroom. I smiled at the abandoned room service trays which had contained our midnight snacks and the upturned bottle of prosecco in the ice bucket. As I got to the bathroom door, my little trolley case caught my eye. I’d left it unzipped from when I’d got my toi
letries out and on top was my silk nightdress. Unworn. Again. Only this time I didn’t mind one bit.
Chapter 30
On Sunday morning, I drove back to the farm. My heart was bursting with emotion: pure delight at being home and being with my family again and apprehension about facing Anna for the first time since the accident. And then there was the task we had ahead of us: breaking life-changing news to our children.
Poppy came flying out of the house to meet me. Her bright green eyes were full of sparkle and she danced around me as I climbed out of the car.
‘Come here, gorgeous girl.’ I held my arms out and she dutifully jigged close enough for me to hug her. I inhaled the loveliness of her, the fragrance of her dark copper curls, the fresh scent of her skin, and sent up a silent prayer that what the adults in her life were about to tell her wouldn’t dampen her joy for long.
‘This is so cool.’ She pulled away, unable to contain herself in my embrace for more than two seconds. ‘You are going to be blown away.’
‘Don’t tell me; you’ve tidied your room?’ I teased, allowing her to drag me to the kitchen door.
‘Mum!’
Dan was leaning on the doorframe and bent to press a kiss to my lips. ‘Welcome home, Mrs Greengrass. I wish I could carry you over the threshold but my shoulder couldn’t take the strain.’
‘Dad!’ Poppy said indignantly. ‘Mum’s perfect. Lovely and cuddly.’
‘I think he’s referring to his broken clavicle, darling,’ I laughed.
‘Exactly,’ he agreed. ‘Certain positions are still quite uncomfortable.’
He caught my eye and we shared a secret smile, remembering Friday night at Prescott Hall.
‘Anyway,’ he said, rubbing his hands together, ‘are you ready for the big reveal?’
‘Reveal?’ I looked at them both; they were almost bursting with excitement.
Dan nodded. ‘Poppy and I decided that an award-winning bakery should have a kitchen to match.’
‘Surprise!’ Poppy squealed as Dan pushed back the door. I stared at my kitchen, then blinked and rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
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