by Maggie Walsh
“Shh, I know, Bailey. I believe you,” Lexi said in a comforting voice.
Bailey could hear in it his voice and see in it his eyes, that Lexi was telling him the truth. He did believe him. Bailey’s shoulders relaxed and he pushed back to rest against the headboard. He looked down at his lap and fidgeted with the sheets. “I’m―sorry I ran…and made everyone worry about me.”
“Why did you run, pretty baby?” Lexi asked tenderly. “Did someone hurt you? Did I do something that made you―”
“No,” Bailey interrupted in a strong voice, meeting Lexi’s gaze. “No, Lexi, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He looked at Lexi with pleading eyes. “You have been nothing but the perfect mate. You have been so gentle and caring. You’ve been so patient with me and never making me feel like I wasn’t wanted.”
“Then why did you want to leave me?” Lexi whispered in a pain-filled voice.
“I wasn’t leaving you. I was just…” He stopped talking and started biting his thumbnail as he looked away from Lexi’s hurt-filled eyes.
“You were running away, Bailey, and you weren’t running to me. You were going in the opposite direction. You were running away from this town, this pack, so what am I supposed to think?”
“I was running from Josh and his betrayal,” Bailey explained in a whisper, his eyes cast down. “I was hurt because Josh, who is supposed to be my best friend, the one who has always protected me since the day we met, told Matthew, of all people, something he shouldn’t have, and I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what? Afraid of what Matthew would do with the information or afraid that he would tell me?” Lexi asked. Bailey’s eyes snapped to Lexi’s and then dropped back down. “I see. So you were afraid that whatever Josh told Matthew would get back to me.” Lexi ran a hand over his face and stood up. He turned away from Bailey and took a deep breath. “Which were you more afraid of me finding out, that you used to live on the streets, that you hustled people for money, or that you used to run with a gang?”
Bailey gasped in surprise as his head snapped up and he stared at Lexi’s back in horror. He was speechless. How did Lexi know? Did Josh tell him, too? Oh gods, no, please don’t let my mate hate me, please.
Lexi turned to Bailey and met his gaze. Bailey saw pain in Lexi’s eyes but no disgust or anger. “When Evan called and asked to come meet with Raith, to try to get permission to join the Angel Pack, we did a background check on all of you. It’s what we do to everyone before we allow them to join our pack. We have built an amazing pack here and we want to keep it that way. So before we allow anyone to even come for a meeting, we do a check on them. We had some information about all of you young men, but not everything. Your file did say that you were homeless for a while and living on the streets. It also said you were pretty good at pickpocketing,” Lexi explained.
Bailey looked at him with wide eyes filled with shock and horror. Lexi already knew those things about him? But he still doesn’t know the worse part. Why didn’t Lexi say anything? And why did Lexi still want him? “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.
“Because I figured you would tell me when you were ready. It’s not up to me to force you to tell me anything. It’s your life. Your story to tell.”
“But you still wanted me? After learning what I am you still wanted me?” Bailey asked in surprise.
“Of course I did, Bailey,” Lexi said gently and with conviction. “And I still do. Your past has no bearing on how I feel about you. You are my mate and I want nothing more than to get to know you and claim you as my own,” Lexi said as he stepped closer and sat on the edge of the bed. He took one of Bailey’s hands between his and looked at him with soft, loving eyes. “I wanted you the minute I saw you. I thought you were the most adorable thing I had ever seen. And hot as sin, too,” Lexi said with a smile. “Then when your amazing scent hit me, I just wanted to roll around in it. Then it hit me that you were my mate. I was so damn happy. Fate really smiled down on me to give me such a cute, sexy mate. And you were sweet to boot,” he said with a chuckle and a big smile. “I wanted to claim you right then, but when you mentioned you were one of Evan’s boys, my heart sank. I thought you were underage and I realized I was going to have to take a lot of cold showers for gods only knew how long. When you told me you were eighteen I got excited, but I could tell you didn’t have much experience. When you told me your name, I knew who you were from your background check, but I never once thought about rejecting you or not claiming you.
“We all have pasts, Bailey. Some of us not so great. But that’s the past. I won’t judge you for what you had to do to survive. It broke my heart knowing what you went through. What I didn’t know was that you were with a gang. When I found that out, it broke my heart for you again. But nothing will ever make me judge you, or reject you. As I said, we all have pasts.”
“I can’t believe you still want me knowing that I’m a street rat,” Bailey whispered sadly as he looked down.
Lexi gently placed a finger under Bailey’s chin and lifted his face. Once their eyes met, Lexi smiled softly. “You are not a street rat. You did what you had to do to survive. Did you want to steal and cheat people out of their money?”
“No,” Bailey sobbed.
There was no accusation, judgment, or criticism in Lexi’s voice, just genuine interest. It made Bailey more comfortable talking to Lexi about his past.
“My father and my four older brothers always made fun of me because I wasn’t anything like the other boys. I didn’t like sports, or cowboys and Indians, or cops and robbers. I didn’t want to go out with the pack hunting. I liked to go into the kitchen and help my mom cook. I really like cooking. To me, it’s amazing how you can take certain raw ingredients that can be okay or plain on their own, but when you put them together, you can get this great…Fireworks, in your mouth.” Bailey spoke with passion and his eyes lit up. It made Lexi smile to see how animated his mate got, how excited he got, from talking about something that obviously meant a lot to him.
“I love going into a kitchen and just experimenting with different things and seeing what I come up with.” But suddenly his eyes got very sad. “My dad would get disappointed in me whenever people would ask what I did. He started to just ignore the question and move on to one of my brothers as if I weren’t even there. Then he and my brothers only talked to me to put me down or order me around. They started smacking me around a lot. My mom tried to make them stop, but my dad would yell at her to stay out of it. We were his cubs and he was in charge of the family and it was her place to obey her mate.
“When I was eleven, I went to my mom to talk to her about something that was happening. I could always talk to my mom about anything. So we went into the kitchen and started cooking like we always did and she asked me what I wanted to talk about. I was a little nervous, but I knew my mom wouldn’t judge me or hate me. So I told her that there was this boy at school named Ryan, and when I looked at him I got this funny feeling in my stomach, and my chest would feel like someone was squeezing it. My palms would get all sweaty, I could hardly breathe, and I couldn’t stop looking at him.”
Lexi smiled and brushed a stray hair from his face. “Your body was awakening.”
Bailey nodded, and then continued. “My mom’s face turned ashen white and she grabbed me by the arms and told me to never let my father find out about what I said or how I was feeling. I told her I didn’t understand. That’s why I was asking her, because I didn’t understand why I felt like this whenever Ryan was around. She asked me if I thought Ryan was cute and if I thought about kissing him. I told her yes, I did. She sat me down and explained what it meant to be gay. I asked her if she thought I was gay and she said yes, but that I needed to hide it from my father and brothers because it wasn’t accepted in our world and if they found out, then the Alpha would have me killed.
“Two days after my twelfth birthday, I came home from school and found my mother in my room, sitting on my bed crying. I asked her what was wrong an
d she told me that my father found out about me and he was going to the Alpha. She tried to stop him, but he pushed her aside and left. She told me I had to go. I had to run and get away before they came back or my brothers came home. She handed me some money and a backpack with some of my clothes in it. She told me to get as far away from pack territory as I could get.
“I didn’t know what to do or where to go. But then I heard screeching tires in front of the house. My mom looked out the window and saw my father along with the Alpha and his two Betas getting out of their cars. She grabbed my hand and pushed me down the back stairs, telling me to go out the back and to run, just run and not to look back. She told me to never forget that she loved me. I took off out the back door and I just ran. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore.” He stopped and wiped a stray tear from his cheek.
“Oh, pretty baby. I’m so sorry you had to go through that and at such a young age,” Lexi said comfortingly as he ran his hand gently down Bailey’s back.
Bailey swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I was able to get away and I ended up in Hollywood, which was about fifty miles from my pack. It’s not the glamorous place people think it is. The first night I arrived I slept up in the hills by the Hollywood sign. I was so scared. I had just turned twelve, I had never been away from home, I was alone, and I couldn’t even shift yet. I wandered around for a few days, using the money my mom had given me, but that didn’t last too long. I walked around the streets, scared, alone, and hungry. I started eating out of the dumpsters behind the restaurants. Then one day this big burly guy caught me and started yelling at me. He grabbed me and tried to get me into the restaurant. I bit his hand and I took off when he released me.
“I spent the next few days afraid to go near any of the dumpsters and I was getting really dizzy from not eating. I made my way down to the pier in Santa Monica. I found a hiding spot under the pier and slept there for a few nights and during the day I begged people for money. It was never enough though so I had to start stealing food from the fruit stands and the markets.
“One day I spotted one of those food carts, you know the ones that the guys walk along the beach, selling pretzels and stuff?” Lexi nodded and Bailey continued. “So this cart was just sitting there, the guy had walked away to go throw something out and I went to the cart and dug in. I grabbed a few of those soft pretzels and someone grabbed my hand. I thought for sure I was caught and the guy would have me arrested. But when I looked, it was this kid about two years older than me. He grabbed the handle of the cart and started pushing it. The guy saw us and started chasing. I didn’t know what to do. So Jake, the kid who grabbed the cart, told me to come on. So I took off with him and the cart. I couldn’t believe it when we got away.
“Jake and I sat there in this cave down by the shore and ate pretzels and drank pops. He told me about this group of kids he was staying with and how they were all homeless and looked after each other. He invited me to go with him to meet everyone. What other choice did I have? I went with him and met Marshal. He was the leader of the ‘Street Punks’-that was the name of their gang. He was the oldest. He was twenty-three and everyone else was between twelve and twenty. There were ten boys there before I came along. He said I could stay there and be a part of the gang, but I had to pull my weight and bring in food and money. He said they all brought stuff in and they all protected each other. So I stayed with them at their crib in this old abandoned mill. I joined their gang and things were okay for the first couple weeks, but then Marshal said I had to pull more weight around the gang. I had to start bringing in more.
“First it was food from the produce stands, and then they taught me how to pickpocket. I got pretty good at it, too, and I even had a knack for slipping people’s watches off their wrists without them knowing.
“One day I grabbed a bunch of bananas off this cart and before I could take off the guy grabbed me. I tried to get away but he was too strong. Then out of nowhere this fist comes flying through the air and nails the guy right in the nose. He let me go to cover his bleeding nose and I turned to run and ran right into the guy that clocked him. It was Josh. He grabbed my hand and told me we had to get out of there fast because someone had called the cops. We ran until we got to the mill. Marshal wasn’t happy that I brought someone back to the hideout. I explained how Josh saved me and he needed somewhere to hide, too. He told me that if Josh was staying, then I had to give up all my money to the gang and me and Josh needed to go out scamming. So Josh stayed.
“We hit the streets and Josh told me he knew what I was and that he was a bobcat who was running from his pride. He said he could smell that I was close to my first shift and it was dangerous for me to be with the humans if I had my first shift in front of them. We stayed with Marshal for another two months, but then I started feeling strange. Josh took me into the woods and we stayed there for a few days. I had my first shift and Josh watched over me. When we went back to the gang, Marshal was pissed. He thought we were trying to keep money from him so he told me I worked for him now. Like I wasn’t already? But he started having me sell drugs to the local kids at the schools. He said they would trust me more because I was the same age. Josh had a lot of fights with Marshal over it. He said I was taking too much of a risk and he was afraid I was going to get caught and the humans would find out about me. Marshal got pissed and told Josh he needed to leave. I tried to go with him but Marshal wouldn’t let me. He said I belonged to him and if Josh wanted me he would have to give him ten thousand dollars.” Bailey stopped and sighed.
“One night when everyone was asleep, I was just about to head in when Josh appeared in the woods. He told me to shift so we could get away. He had been protecting me since the moment I met him and I didn’t want to be with the gang anymore, so I did what he said. I shifted and so did Josh and we took off. We stayed in our animal forms most days. We hunted for food, found caves to sleep in, and cuddled together to keep each other warm.
“We lived like that for over a year. Then my fourteenth birthday came. Me and Josh went back into Hollywood to celebrate by going to a fast food place, but before we got there, we were grabbed by Marshal. He was so pissed and happy to see us. The night we slipped away, they got raided by the cops. Someone had called them and reported a guy fitting Marshal’s description holding underage boys against their will and forcing them into stealing and selling drugs. He lost his gang that night and spent nine months in jail. But now that he found us he could start up his little business again.
“Josh wasn’t taking it, and he and Marshal got into a fight. Josh was winning, but Marshal pulled a knife on him and tried to stab him. Josh kicked the knife from his hands and jumped on top of him, but Marshal got in a cheap shot to Josh’s groin. He hit the ground and Marshal jumped on top of him and started smashing his head against the ground. I was so scared. I thought for sure Marshal was going to kill Josh and I would be left alone again, or Marshal would grab me and make me do things for him again. Marshal wrapped his hands around Josh’s throat and started choking him. I saw the knife and I just grabbed it. I don’t even remember exactly what happened, but suddenly I was standing there over Marshal’s body.” Bailey stopped and swallowed hard. He took a deep shuddering breath. “He was lying on the ground looking up at me with shocked eyes and a pool of blood was forming below him. Josh stumbled to his feet and looked down at Marshal. He used his foot to roll him over and that’s when we saw it. The knife was sticking out of his back and he was bleeding.
“Josh grabbed me and pulled me away. We took off back into the woods. We found places to hide during the day and at night we traveled, trying to get as far away from Hollywood as we could. We didn’t even know if Marshal was dead or alive, but with the injury he had we figured he was dead and the cops would be looking for me. We lived like that for over a year and we made it into Arizona. That’s when we met Evan. He caught us stealing food from a market. He could smell that we were shifters, too. We talked to him for a while and went with him and we’ve been
with Evan since.”
Lexi sat silent for a minute, but he held Bailey tighter. “None of that should have happened to you. It makes me want to go find your birth pack and kill some people. Starting with your father. But I’m glad you finally found Evan and that you and Josh were smart enough to go with him.”
“So…even after what I just told you…that I killed someone…a human…you still want me as your mate?” Bailey asked hesitantly.
Lexi tightened his arms around Bailey and kissed his head. “Yes, Bailey. I still want you as my mate. I told you…there’s nothing you can tell me about your past that will make me change my mind. First of all, you were defending Josh and yourself, so it was self-defense, and second, you don’t even know if you actually killed that piece of shit. But I hope you did.”
Bailey hugged Lexi’s arms that crossed his chest. “How did I get so lucky to find you as my mate?”
“See, now there’s where you’re wrong. I’m the lucky one,” Lexi said and gave him a squeeze. They sat like that quietly for a while.
“So what happens next?’ Bailey asked unsure.
“That’s up to you, pretty baby. If you want to go back to Evan’s, I’ll drive you there. And if you decide you don’t want to, you can stay here in the pack house.”
“Can I stay here with you in your room?” Bailey asked in a hopeful voice.
“Oh hell no,” Lexi said with a chuckle. “What are you trying to do, kill me?”
“What?” Bailey asked in confusion and turned his head to look at Lexi.
“You are too tempting, you delectable morsel. And I don’t know if you’re quite ready yet for us to claim each other.”
“You don’t have to claim me. I just meant stay here with you. I like being with you and I like when you hold me,” Bailey explained.
