How is that done?
First, become aware of these moments when you are not thinking. There are many moments when you are open, when you are listening, sensing, or perceiving. Once you have recognized those moments, you won’t think of yourself as being continually under the spell of thinking. You will eliminate this false belief, for it is simply a belief. It is not your experience. Then you will discover and become increasingly acquainted with these moments when you are just present, present to yourself, present to whatever is appearing or not appearing. Simply be open. These moments are free from fear. During such moments, we have to make sure that our openness is complete, that we are not only open intellectually but at all levels, at the level of sensing, feeling the body, and perceiving. In the beginning, it is frightening because it is like letting go of all kinds of pseudo-securing objects, letting go of our foundation somehow. It is like being up in the air without the support of objects.
However, we soon get used to it and later, we discover that it is the free state. Further on, we discover that it is a happy state and at some point, we also discover that it is our natural state. In other words, when we are this openness, we are making no effort, we are just as we are, we are just what we are.
***
I would like to ask about awareness, consciousness. It is said that meditation starts when we stop doing, when we are just being aware, but that is happening anyway.
Meditation never starts or stops. It is our true nature.
So there is awareness present all the time and we just have to see that, rest in that, allow that, and then that develops and just carries on?
Yes. When we see that, a transformation takes place in the body-mind. The body-mind is struck by causeless joy and is set free from the belief that it has to work towards the acquisition of happiness. This happiness is not something that can be reached through effort, through suffering. How could we reach happiness through suffering? How could more suffering make us happy? We have to start from happiness. So often we have accepted more suffering in order to become happy.
There is really no point in trying to understand awareness or consciousness. Is it best to just rest in that awareness, which is already present?
When the understanding is correct, there is no question of trying to rest in what you already are. As long as there is effort, the understanding is not correct. As long as the understanding is not correct, it is normal for the mind to try to understand. The mind will keep running until it reaches a natural stop or rest.
Until it realizes that it doesn’t have to do anything?
Yes. Not only that it doesn’t have to do anything, but also that whatever it does is actually counterproductive. It would be enough to truly understand that. Until that moment, it is useful for the mind to think. In this way a cleansing process, higher reasoning, takes place in the mind. It eliminates the old belief systems including, in the end, the belief system of self-realization.
Presumably, that process will distance emotional problems.
The process of higher reasoning has nothing to do with emotional problems. One has to approach the truth by inquiring in the same way as a scientist approaches scientific truth. He might be in poor health, but once he is sitting in front of his blackboard, all of that disappears. Dispassionate thinking is a precondition for higher reasoning.
That is the opposite of the way I normally think, which is that the circumstances have to be right before I can stop trying, before I can have any peace.
In the direct path that we are talking about here, we go directly to truth, and with this understanding we deal with the problems in our daily life. As we start dealing with these problems from this uninvolved or impersonal perspective, we gradually find that they were all false problems and they will all eventually find harmonious resolutions.
That seems one step removed from where I am. I am still attached. There seems a personal element in my life.
Not necessarily. Put this attachment and personal element in brackets, so to speak, and go directly to the question, “What am I?” Stay there for as long as the personal problems in your life give you the freedom to do so. At such a moment, take into consideration what is being suggested here, that you are the awareness, the consciousness that is understanding these words right this moment, and that this very consciousness is not personal, that we are all the same consciousness. That is the only thing that needs to be taken into consideration. Doubts will arise in your mind, and you can revisit this issue until the mind is fully convinced. You can re-examine your doubts in the light of what has been suggested here, until your conviction is strong enough to give you the courage to act in accordance with what you have understood. That is the second step.
We have to realize that this consciousness is not personal. In order to realize this, we have to take the first step, which involves coming to the understanding that we are not the body or the mind, but rather the consciousness that perceives both the body and the mind. The second step is to find out, based upon our experience, whether this consciousness is personal or not. This question has to be investigated thoroughly. If the answer is, “No” or, “I don’t know,” which amounts to the same thing, then from that moment onwards, we are genuinely open to the possibility that this consciousness is universal. We are open to the possibility that it is the trunk of which we as individuals are the branches or the flowers. From that moment onwards, we are prepared to test out this possibility in real-life situations. It is the testing of this possibility in real-life situations that gives us the final answer to the question, “Is consciousness personal or not?” The moment we have the true answer to that question, then all our problems are resolved, because we are no longer a psychological entity, and as such, we don’t have psychological problems.
What do you mean by testing it in real-life situations?
In your relationships, for instance, when you are facing a so-called other, it means being open to the possibility that the consciousness behind those eyes in front of you, is the same consciousness that you feel inside yourself. It means being constantly open to the possibility that we are like two flowers looking at each other from two different branches of the same tree, so that if we were to go deep enough inside to the trunk, we would realize that we are one. Just being open to this possibility will have a profound effect on your relationships and on your experience of the world. The result of this experiment comes as an experience, not as a concept, although it may subsequently be formulated by the mind if necessary.
It seems a lot easier when there is no relationship.
That is not true. It is a big mistake. How can we discover that we share consciousness with others if there are no so-called others present to test it? We can go to the Himalayas and live in a cave, and after thirty years there, we can share our consciousness with the snakes. However, it is easier to share it with our neighbor or with a stranger. They are better designed for that purpose. Not only will they help us to discover that consciousness is universal and impersonal, but they are also perfectly designed to share and celebrate this understanding.
***
I am trying to understand timelessness, eternal presence.
Time is a concept. It is understood as the interval between two events. However, these two events never coexist. When one is present, the other is not, so the other event is non-existent. Time, therefore, is the distance between an existing event, in the now, and a past or a future event that is non-existent. It is like the distance between this point and a unicorn. Therefore, time exists only as a concept. This concept itself appears in the timelessness of consciousness. Identifying the concept with its background, consciousness, creates the illusion of time. When duration is purified from concepts, it becomes what it has always been, timeless awareness, timeless presence. From the vantage point of this timeless presence, objects flow through it creating the appearance of time. The changes in an object point towards the presence of a changeless witness, for you cannot notice changes without a
reference that is changeless. For example, you cannot be aware of motion without something that is motionless.
It is like watching a film. In the drama, thirty years may pass, but for the viewer sitting in his chair, it lasts only an hour. The time in the story and the time in the chair are different because we are talking about two different worlds. Similarly, the time in this waking dream seems to exist, but from the vantage point of the witnessing consciousness, sitting on its comfortable chair, the time is always now, presence.
This timelessness is not something unknown to us. It is what we call the “now.” The spaciousness in which everything occurs, the eternal now, is this timelessness. We get confused when we try to introduce divisions between past and future within it. Then we forget that we are always at home, always in this now, as this now, that there is nothing past or future. We recreate them at every moment.
We have divided our experience into that which is subjective and psychological, and that which is objective or worldly. Subjective time seems to vary. For example, it seems to shrink if we are enjoying ourselves. However, objective time is deemed to be real and stable. We decide that the material world is real and chronological time becomes correspondingly real, as a result. From the vantage point of consciousness, both the subjective, psychological world and the objective world are dreamlike; they are illusions, and so both times are equally illusory.
So do all physical laws just reflect the way that the mind works, rather than accurately describing something that exists objectively?
The laws of physics are the laws that apply to this waking dream. During night dreams, the laws of physics are different. That is why you can fly at night! The laws of causation, which are more general than the laws of physics, apply to both domains. However, at the level of consciousness, there is no causation because there are no objects, there is no duality. At this level, there is one single law, and that is the law of love. At this level, love is the ultimate cause of everything, and it is for this reason that there is no answer to the question, “Why?” Everything is just the playfulness of God showing up at every moment.
This body is old and tired.
This body seems to appear in time. In a dream, ten years may pass by in one minute. You may have a baby and then be taking it, as a child, to school. When you wake up, you see that the body in the dream was an illusion, and the time to which it was subjected was also an illusion, but from the vantage point of the dream, it seemed to be real. We should be open to the possibility that this is a dream and when we do, everything changes dramatically. It actually turns out to be so. If this waking experience is seen to be a dream, then our behavior changes and we will find that the response coming from the characters or the situations in this dream also changes.
I have a concept that this body will die.
That seems like a good concept! The true question is, “Am I going to die? Who am I?” “When the body dies, will I die?” That is why the question, “What am I?” is crucial. Do you cry when a shirt becomes too old and you throw it away? No, because it is obvious that you are not the shirt.
You mentioned the recognition of impersonal consciousness. Is that the final effort that an individual can make?
It would be the last effort that an individual would seem to make.
***
It is said that there is no free will, that no one has any choice.
It is obvious that you have no free will as a person. Ask yourself, when a thought comes to you, whether or not you chose it. Obviously not; otherwise, you would always choose happy thoughts, beautiful thoughts! You don’t choose your thoughts. They just appear like clouds. Similarly, when you make a decision, the decision comes as a thought. Therefore, you do not make your decisions. Everything is an act of God; that is, it comes to you spontaneously out of consciousness, without your having willed or created it as a person. Everything is innocent, God’s innocence. If I feel I am a person, then I project a person onto the other so-called individual and judge him guilty. However, no one is guilty because God has done everything. She designed Adam, Eve, the garden, the tree, the apple, and the snake! If you let God take responsibility for it, she will take responsibility beautifully. Do not feel that you are responsible or guilty. Guilt makes us miserable and therefore makes everyone around us miserable.
True responsibility is the sense of happiness that wants to be shared with others. Fathers and mothers take care of their children because they want to share their happiness with them. This responsibility is spontaneous, it comes in the now, from happiness. Guilt comes from the past, from a pseudo-personal entity who allegedly had free will but who actually never existed.
If we do not choose our thoughts, there cannot be a sin or a sinner, because the alleged sinner is the chooser of the sinful thought. However, since the thought is not chosen, there is no chooser and therefore no sinner. There is no personal entity. There never is, in the now. It always comes after the fact as an afterthought, “I decided this. I did this. It was bad.”
Where does discrimination come in? A thought appears, but we don’t have to follow that thought. We have the choice.
A thought appears and then a second thought follows, such as, “I am not going to pursue that thought,” or, “I am going to pursue that thought.” However, these are just thoughts like the first one, and we don’t choose this second thought any more than we did the first. There is no choice as an individual, as a personal entity. The personal body-mind organism has been conditioned and chosen by genetic, environmental, and social programming, as well as by parents, educators, events, and so on. It is a conditioned reaction response to the stimuli received from the surroundings. To try and analyze a body-mind as an isolated psychosomatic system doesn’t make sense, because in order to analyze this system, we need to know the condition of the rest of the universe and its laws, of which it is an integral part. It is only then that we could try to predict the outcome of certain events. We cannot therefore locate an isolated individual, even from the materialistic perspective.
Does effort come in or is it all predestined?
The appearance of effort, of a personal doer, can come in, but you can take it deeper by asking, “Why did I come here?” or, “Why am I interested in these questions? Is that predestination?” Although it seems that we came here out of our own volition, it depends on what we call “I.” If by “I,” we mean a personal identity, a body-mind, then there is no choice. However, if by “I,” we mean consciousness, then at that level there is total freedom, because this consciousness is not personal. It is God’s consciousness. It is a totality. It is this consciousness that chooses to become interested in itself.
How do you make the distinction between these two inwardly?
True consciousness is the subject. It is the perceiving agent, whereas everything that is personal is perceived. That which perceives, that which is understanding these words, is consciousness. Consciousness can never be seen. If it were seen or felt, it would be an object. It knows itself by itself. If asked whether or not there is consciousness right this moment, you would say, “Yes,” without a doubt. That conviction comes from an actual experience. You wouldn’t say, “Yes, there is consciousness because my parents said so.” You would say that it comes from your own experience, which it is beyond doubt. If then asked to describe the experience from which you derive this answer, you cannot, because it is not an objective experience, and you can only describe objects.
Is it the sense of doership that sometimes makes it difficult to discriminate?
Yes, the sense of doership is associated with this body-mind organism. The sense of doership is fine if it is God’s doership, if it is consciousness’ doership. Consciousness is the ultimate doer. It creates everything at every moment, and that could be construed as a doing. It even creates the appearance of a doer, of a doing, and of a deed. It is like a theatrical play where there is the appearance of someone killing another person, but in fact there is no murderer, no victim, and no murder
. The true creator in that case is the playwright. Consciousness is the playwright. Everything appears out of this ocean of consciousness. We are not aware of the ocean as an object, but the ocean is aware of itself. When we use the I-thought referring to ourselves, we can say, “I have the flu,” in which case, “I” refers to our body. Or we can say, “I am happy,” referring to the mind or, “I am conscious,” referring to consciousness. The pronoun “I” can be used in many situations. It is important that when we use it, we know clearly to what we are referring. Therefore, we can indulge this use of “I” as long as we know that the true referent is consciousness and that this consciousness is not personal.
Do you know it by feelings or is it beyond that?
The consciousness that knows your feelings and the consciousness that knows mine, is one and the same. However, it is not a feeling. If it were a feeling, it would have to be known by something else. It knows itself by itself, but this knowledge cannot be grasped as an object.
Is the “I” not the result of assessing yourself and keeping the boundaries? In order to grow and protect myself, I surely need to be “me.”
Just take the I-thought or the I-feeling very deeply. When we want to understand something, we should be open. We shouldn’t stick to what we know because if we do, we will not be open to understanding anything new. Either we are happy with the situation, there are no questions, and we don’t want to change anything, or we are dissatisfied with our condition, which means that we want to change it. If we want to change it, it implies that there is something that we are thinking or doing that is generating misery, so we have to be open to the new, we have to be open to the possibility of change. Investigate who or what you are in this openness, without knowing, without coming up with answers, without defining yourself. Whenever you come up with an answer, question it. For instance, ask yourself, “Is it true that I am a woman? Is it true that I am this body? Or am I that consciousness, whatever that is, in which this body, this womanhood appears? What are these words appearing in right this moment? Is it not what we refer to as ‘I’? What am I truly? Am I that which is conscious or that of which I am conscious? I am conscious of the woman, I am conscious of the body. Therefore, there is something, whatever that is, that is called ‘I,’ which is conscious of the woman, which was conscious of the baby, and which was conscious of the little girl. What is this ‘I’? Is it not me? If it is me, what is its relation with the woman, with the little girl?”
The Perfume of Silence Page 17
