“Well, we were hoping to have dinner at seven.” Long pause and a sigh.
Janet knew my work schedule but consistently planned dinners during my classes, making me feel guilty for not being able to arrive on time. I put a hand over my eyes, then peered through the mirrored window at Cherie’s Café to see if I could locate Patti while I waited for Janet to speak. “I just can’t get to your house any earlier,” I finally said.
Pause. “All right then. Seven-forty-five it has to be.”
Knowing Janet expected appreciation for modifying her oh-so-important schedule, I made an attempt to score some points. “Thanks for changing the time for me. I’d really hate to miss Kaitlin’s good news.”
Silence. No points—not even half a point.
“Okay,” I said, annoyance leaking into my voice despite my best intentions. “Well, see you tonight.”
“We’re looking forward to it.” Silence, then, “Bye now.”
“Bye, Janet.” I ended the call and sighed. At least it had been relatively painless as far as our conversations went.
Probably not as painful as lunch was going to be with Patti laying down the ground rules of what I could and couldn’t do with my own love life. Knowing my hard-core friend, I’d bet my vintage CD collection there’d be more couldn’ts than coulds.
I turned to glance at Betty one last time. She sat along the curb, looking all shiny and blue with her black top up. “Don’t worry, Betty. I’ll never let Patti get her hands on you.”
Then I reached for the entrance door and took a deep breath. I could only imagine what Patti had in store for me.
****
I found Patti at a table in the center of the crowded restaurant. Apparently her dating rules didn’t require a private, corner booth—hopefully that was a good sign that they wouldn’t be too harsh.
“Hey.” I sat down, then reached for my water with lemon to calm my nerves.
“I ordered the usual for us, so we could get right down to business since I have to be back at work in an hour.” Patti’s smile looked sinister. That, or I’d seen too many horror movies.
“Okay.” My stomach clenched as I unfolded my napkin, then placed it in my lap. “Lay it on me.”
She lifted a piece of thick, linen stationery, then cleared her throat. “The Boyfriend Bylaws, by Patti Hartley.”
Sheer terror sliced through me at her unusually formal tone. And, um, bylaws? What did she think, this was a piece of legislation to be ratified into California law?
“Rule number one.” She eyed me pointedly. “No giving out your phone number until approved to do so.”
I raised my hand, like a student in one of her seventh-grade classes. “Can you clarify that?”
“What’s to make clear? If I don’t say yes, then you don’t give it out.” She enunciated each word as if she were talking to a particularly slow student.
I dropped my hand. Apparently Patti wasn’t an avid supporter of the “No question is a bad question” philosophy. My throat went dry. “Say I’m at the gym and a really nice guy asks for my phone number. What if you’re not around? Can I give him it to him?”
She seemed to think on this as the waitress placed my pasta marinara in front of me. After due consideration, Patti shook her head. “It’s not a good idea to date where you work.”
My brows shot up. “Why not?”
She stabbed some penne pasta with her fork. “If the relationship doesn’t pan out, it could create an uncomfortable work environment.”
“How would—” My mouth froze, and I cringed. Brad. I’d have to see him over and over again at the gym. Ugh. I bit my lip, remembering how he’d showed off to me by benching one seventy-five, when I knew from previous spying that he normally benched one-fifty. Brad had no qualms about dating where he worked out.
Oh, no. What if he gave someone like Erica “the eye,” benched one-eighty and asked her on a date? Erica loved PDA. I’d be forced to watch them all lovey-dovey day in and day out.
Swallowing her food, Patti tilted her head. “Brad?”
I nodded. “You have a valid point.”
“That’s why you hired me. A shame we didn’t make this deal a couple weeks ago, eh?” Patti turned her attention back to her neatly typed paper. “Rule number two. Must obtain permission to accept any date invitation. That one clear? Good, moving on—”
“Actually.” I raised my hand again, and started to sweat. “What if I’m at a bar, having an amazing conversation with some gorgeous guy, and he asks me out to dinner?”
“You have a cell?”
I clutched the napkin in my lap. “You know I do.”
“Then shoot me a text. I’ll be available twenty-four seven for consult.” Patti frowned, then waved her index finger. “Strike that. Don’t call between midnight and eight a.m. I need my sleep.”
“But how can I—”
“Your problem. Not mine,” she said, with a barely concealed smile.
My brows came together, tightening so hard it hurt. Then, I promptly relaxed my facial muscles. On top of everything else, I didn’t need squint lines.
“Number three.” Patti glanced up, probably to make sure her student was paying attention.
I gave her a thin smile and thought about how good it would feel to freeze Patti’s underwear like I’d done in junior high.
Patti turned back to the beige, watermarked sheet. “No bringing up marriage, kids, or the future.”
My fake smile faded. After freezing Patti’s underwear, I’d short sheet her bed. “How can I forge a lasting relationship without talking about the future?”
“Just concentrate on forging the relationship for now.” She flicked her eyes back to her list. “Four. No going to first base without authorization.”
No big. Brad had pretty much skipped first base anyway. “All right.”
Patti studied my calm reaction, then reached for her giant purse, pulled out a pen, and scribbled on the paper. “Rule number four has been modified. No going to first base, or any other base, without authorization.”
What was Patti, a mind reader? “How can I date someone if I’m not allowed to—”
“Figure it out. Your way obviously wasn’t getting you anywhere.” Patti raised an eyebrow, then turned back to The Boyfriend Bylaws. “Numero five. No scribbling your first name with some guy’s last name. Ever.”
My face heated. “How’d you know I do that?”
“The pad by the kitchen telephone, genius.”
Oops. I tilted my head to the right, and my ponytail flopped to the opposite shoulder. “Is that it for the rules? Please say yes.”
“Last but not least, number six. This is the rule that I may add new rules as I deem necessary.” She handed over the dreaded paper outlining her rules, which were enumerated using various colors and fonts. “Here you go. Memorize it, live by it, and happy dating.”
The Boyfriend Bylaws felt like lead in my hand. “Thanks, I think.”
“You’re welcome.” Patti finished off the last of her pasta. “Don’t look so grim. This was your idea, remember?”
My eyes scanned the rules again. “That’s right. I’ve got balls.”
“Big ones.”
“Just what I always wanted,” I said, wondering if Patti’s boyfriend bylaws would be my dating salvation or my doom.
Patti popped her last bite of garlic bread into her mouth, and I turned away from barely-touched plate to gaze around at the lunchtime crowd. My eyes froze on a familiar face seated at a back corner table. “Matt.”
As if he’d heard me, he glanced up, and winked.
My face automatically broke into a smile.
“He’s cute. That’s the guy who works at the front desk of Totally Fit, right?” Patti said. “Who’s the girl he’s with?”
“What?” My eyes shot to the girl I hadn’t noticed, sitting across the table from Matt. She looked oddly familiar. She had long, sandy-brown hair and glanced over at me with a curious stare. I turned back to Patt
i. “I have no idea who she is. He must be dating someone new.”
My stomach knotted. How could he act so interested in me yesterday morning, then go out with another girl the next? A surge of jealousy flooded through me as she leaned forward, said something, then exchanged a smile with him.
Without thinking, I blurted, “They seemed awfully chummy for a first date.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Of course.” I fixed an intent look on Patti. “Matt can date the entire Sacramento Kings cheerleading team, for all I care.”
“Uh-huh.” Patti appeared bemused as she handed her credit card to the waiter.
Whatever. Finding Matt with another girl was exactly why I’d said no to dating him in the first place. Reminding myself of that, however, didn’t make me feel one ounce better.
Chapter Four
Erica and I had spent arrived to the janitor’s closet at three-thirty, so I’d filled her in on my lunch with Patti, along with the ins and outs of The Boyfriend Bylaws. Erica knew Patti so she wasn’t surprised, but she couldn’t believe that I’d risked Betty. Neither could I, really. Just went to show how desperate I was to stop dating the wrong guys.
At promptly 3:55 p.m., Steve opened the janitor’s closet door, and joined us in the dark, dusty room. “Anything yet?”
“Still waiting,” Erica said, using a hushed tone. “Matt won’t desert the desk until they arrive, and Ginger’s going to cover the front desk for him. She got off work early today to get her hair done.”
We’d met Ginger a few weeks ago when she’d started coming to the gym with Kaitlin. Shockingly, my lovely stepsister’s life had fallen from perfection (for about a minute) when she’d gotten laid off at her last job. Living the charmed life that she does, though, Kaitlin had been offered an even better job within a week. Now, she had a higher salary, and a new best friend (Ginger) to boot. I’d even overheard Kaitlin whispering to Ginger about some guy she was seeing—not that Kaitlin had bothered to say anything to me, her actual relative.
I pursed my lips. “What did Ginger do to her hair?”
“Nothing drastic.” Erica whispered. “Trim, and highlights. Although she’s considering a permanent shine to—”
“Zzzzzz.” Steve made snoring noises. “I beg of you. Can we change the subject before my masculinity dries up?”
Suddenly, I felt a hard poke in my thigh. “Ouch! That hurts.”
“Sorry.” Steve chuckled. “My elbow thought you were a shelf.”
“Shhh!” Erica’s voice was low but stern. “You guys want us to get caught?”
I stuck my ear against the wall, and listened to the silence in Rudy’s office. “I don’t hear a thing.”
“They still aren’t in there yet.” I could hear the “duh” in Erica’s tone. “If they were then Matt would’ve joined us already. Remember?”
The thought of being in the dark with Matt made my heart rate kick up a notch. Then, I remembered his lunch date, and wanted to kick myself for having that kind of reaction. Suddenly, something sharp dug into my hip.
“Sorry,” Steve said. “My bad. Again.”
“You’re a trainer, Steve.” I straightened from my crouched position, and shook off all thoughts of Matt and his new girl. “Shouldn’t you at least be able to hold yourself up without help?”
“Shhh!” Erica scolded again. “You guys will never be invited back if you don’t shut up.”
“Don’t tell me to shut up.” I glared toward Erica in the darkness. Not like she could see me, but I got some satisfaction out of narrowing my eyes in her general direction. Normally, I could deal with Erica’s bossy attitude, but the stress of the last twenty-four hours had been enough.
Erica grabbed for my shoulder and put an arm around me. “You don’t want us to get caught, do you? How yumzy would that be?”
“Yumzy was yesterday’s word,” Steve informed her with a sigh. “Keep up with the times, Conner.”
“Well, excuse me.” Erica sounded indignant. “But in case you don’t remember, I was late this morning, thanks to Mario, and I didn’t hear the new word.”
“So that’s where you were.” Steve’s tone sounded like he’d cracked an unsolved mystery.
“Congrats to Mario.” I cheered as quietly as I could. At least someone’s love life was doing well, since my own had taken a plunging nosedive, and all future prospects were now subject to The Boyfriend Bylaws. “What’s he like? Any chance he’s The One?”
“Absolutely not.” Erica snorted. “On a scale of one to ten, I’d give him a seven. That’s a thanks for playing, but it won’t get him invited back.”
“That’s harsh, Conner.” Steve paused. “Do all girls rate guys? Wait, never mind. I don’t want to know.”
I sighed. Brad would’ve been a nine. Get rid of the yellow car, minty hair gel, and his opposition to commitment, then he’d upgrade to a ten, hands down.
The closet door creaked open then and a dark figure with a fabulous physique stood in the hallway holding the handle with one hand. Oh, no. We’d been caught by a hot bod! I knew I should’ve waited, and gotten the information second-hand.
“Why is it dark in here?” The lights flashed on, illuminating Matt, who slammed the door shut behind him.
“Don’t slam the door.” Erica waved her arms too little too late.
“Turn the switch back off.” I somehow managed to shriek quietly. Heat crept up my neck. Had I really thought of Matt as a hot bod? It must be nerves. This spying stuff was so not up my alley.
“The lights can stay on.” Matt sauntered toward us. “It’s not like they have x-ray vision and can see through the wall.”
“Good point.” Steve squatted on one knee, and pressed his ear against the wall. “Rudy’s not Clarko Kento.”
Matt bobbled his head and raised his brows. “Nice italian-o accent-o, Steve-o.”
“Hush it.” Erica stomped her foot repeatedly. “Next time, you’re all banned from the closet. Apparently, I’m the only one who knows how to be stealthy.”
“The suits in there yet?” Steve spoke in a low voice, then winked at Erica. “See how yumzy I can be?”
She glared at him. “You said that was yesterday’s word. Not that anyone has bothered to clue me in on today’s word.”
Matt jerked his thumb toward Rudy’s office. “To answer your question, Steve, yes. They’re starting the meeting now.” Then, he turned to Erica. “And to respond to your concern, Conner, today’s word is lifesucks.”
Erica’s chin dropped to her chest, and she crinkled her nose. “That’s two words.”
“Not if you say it quickly.” Steve raised a finger. “Lifesucks. Lifesucks. See?”
Erica shook her head. “It’s still two words.”
“After the night I just had, it’s one word.” My mind flew back to last night’s events, then jumped to my lunch with Patti, which inevitably left me wondering about Matt’s date.
Erica sighed. “I can’t believe you let that hottie get away, Mel.”
Matt rubbed my shoulders. “He wasn’t nearly good enough for our girl.”
I groaned, mostly for liking the feel of Matt’s hands on me. Surprisingly, I hadn’t thought about Brad at all today. “I don’t want to talk about it because lifesucks.”
“Fine, it’s one word.” Erica rolled her eyes in that ‘whatever’ way of hers. “Anyway, lifesucks when we’re loud, so let’s keep it down, people.”
“Fine.” I pressed my ear against the unpainted sheetrock wall. I had the strong urge to ask Matt about his date, but my stomach felt nauseated just thinking about her. “What were the suits like, Matt? Did you get a look at them? Did they look eager to fire any of us?”
Matt squeezed between Erica and me, then put an ear to the wall, too. His shoulder brushed against mine, sending a rush of tingles up my neck. I breathed in his spicy cologne, which made me want to buy a bottle of whatever it was and drench my pillow with it.
“Introductions weren’t made,” Matt said
, clearly unaware of the physical effect he was having on me. “But I gather one guy is Rudy’s brother. His last name was Zambini and he could’ve passed for his twin.”
I knew Matt had said something, but it was impossible to concentrate with that one nagging thought hanging on my mind. I had to get it over with. “How was your lunch?”
“Great.” His head rested against the wall, and his gaze met mine. “I wanted to introduce you, but you guys left so fast I didn’t get a chance.”
Our faces were inches apart, and I felt woozy being this close to him. “First, the girl from the dance club. Now, the girl from Cherie’s Café . . .”
He chuckled, his eyes crinkling in an adorable way. “You make it sound like I have a stream of women in my life.”
“Don’t you?” I bit my lip, waiting for the answer, but not sure I wanted to hear it. Then, I shrugged, trying to cover how interested I was. “Not that it’s my business.”
His expression grew serious. “I’m single, but I certainly don’t have a stream of girls.”
“Oh.” My stomach warmed, and I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. Our shoulders were still touching, but I couldn’t bring myself to move away. Then, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.
Erica knelt down on the floor next to an air vent, and held a finger to her lips. “They’ve started the meeting. Want me to relay what they’re saying?”
“Is it wise to speak that close to the vent?” I stared down at Erica, who was sprawled across the floor with her ear smashed against the grate. “I mean, if you can hear them, can’t they hear you, too?”
Erica frowned, probably mentally shushing herself. “This is another reason I work alone.” Making several twisty motions with her hand, she zipped her lips then waved us down toward the vent that was two inches above the linoleum floor.
In the name of duty, I dropped onto my stomach between Matt and Steve, and tried not to sneeze from the dust that coated the vent.
A Twist of Date (Better Date than Never) Page 3
