"Hannah, are you distressed about something?" Natalya remembered that the girl hadn’t answered her summons the night before when she had rung for her after returning from the village. Perhaps she had been accosted by one of the minions, perhaps she had a lover in the castle and they’d had a spat, or perhaps the girl did indeed dislike the fact that she was forced to work for a Gypsy.
“What?" Hannah looked up at Natalya’s in surprise, her eyes wide, distinctly showing a hint of fear, her cheeks blushing red at her nervousness. She certainly looked guilty of something as far as Natalya was concerned. "Oh, no, Ma’am. I am fine, truly."
"You seem a bit anxious. Has something distressed you?"
"Oh no, Ma’am, tis just how I am. My father used to say I was an excitable girl. He also said I had the gift of a million words and that sometimes I should learn not to share my gift with everyone around me. Forgive me. I should have held my tongue. I know I talk too much, tis a fault of mine. I apologize. It won’t happen again. Truly mistress, I am sorry."
"It’s all right, Hannah. I was simply concerned. I wish for you to be happy here. Well, as happy as you can be."
"Oh dear, I was doing it again. I know not when to hold my tongue. I swear it babbles on without my conscience thought."
"Calm yourself, Hannah. I don’t mind. As I said, I was just concerned about your welfare."
Natalya looked her over carefully. Perhaps her nervousness was simply because of her new position, and what she was saying could be true. Some people were prone to talk more than others. Besides, anyone would be a bit on edge working in a castle where any wrongdoing was routinely paid for in a most horrific way. Hannah had surely heard terrorizing tales of abuse. Still, the girl would bear watching. In time, she should calm down and settle into her new position, if not, then there would be added cause for worry. Natalya would remain vigilant and keep her eyes open as the days pass. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to keep a close watch on her new maid. Still, the idea seemed silly. What harm could this young girl before her really do? It wasn’t as if she were one of the evil beings that resided within the castle walls.
When Natalya didn’t speak more on the subject, Hannah let it drop, and finished her duties in silence. It was far better to keep her new Mistress’s eyes and thoughts from dwelling on her than it was to draw undue attention. She had been foolish to let her nervousness show. This Natalya had keen eyes. After she’d hung up the Natalya’s nightgown and straightened the bed, she gave a small bob to indicate she was finished.
"Will there be anything else I can do for you, Ma’am? Shall I fetch some needlework or perhaps your bag of herbs?"
"No, I’ve no time for needle work. This gown was much too time consuming as it is. All these stays, petticoats, and lacings, they are quite ridiculous. I shall be needing my potions and herbs though, but that is all.”
“Forgive me Mistress, but you should try to eat something.”
Natalya tried hard to keep the note of exasperation out of her voice when she answered Hannah. “As I said before, I truly don’t even want to take the time to eat. You can remove the tray. I don’t want it. I must pay a visit to the Master’s wife and see how she and the child are doing."
This piqued Hannah’s interest once more. Natalya seemed to be in quite a state of worry. Oh Marishka would love to know how Lady Arcos’s pregnancy was progressing, and especially if something was wrong. "Shall I accompany you, Ma’am?"
"No, Hannah. That won’t be necessary. My friend and I have much to talk about, and I’m not certain that Lord Arcos would appreciate your company while I tend to his wife either."
Hannah’s mouth opened slightly in shock and fright. She had almost walked into the lion’s den without knowing it. It was all but unheard of for a man to be present when all things concerned with pregnancies and babies were going on but it seemed Mikhal the Merciless had other ideas where his wife was concerned. In the village it would be considered highly improper, men simply didn’t involve themselves in such matters, but the great Lord Arcos didn’t seem to care.
"No, Ma’am. I would not want to anger the Master of the castle. Not at all."
"You are correct about that, Hannah. Tis not wise to stir Lord Arcos’s temper. You may go now. I shall send for you if I need you."
"Yes, Ma’am. Thank you, Ma’am."
After Hannah left, Natalya stood for a moment staring at the closed door, thinking about the girl who had been chosen as her maid. Alliana had thought her sweet and perfect for the job, but was she as she seemed? Was she truly a simple, innocent girl who talked far too much and was a bit nervous about her new position, or was there something else going on?
Natalya shook her head slowly and wry expression twisted her lips. It was foolish to think she was up to trouble, wasn’t it? She was the picture of goodness. A girl snatched from the village and forced into servitude. What harm could there be in her? What hidden motives? The notion was absurd. Still... the nagging feeling of unease wouldn’t leave the pit of her belly. It seemed there was to be yet another person she needed to keep close watch of in the castle. That decided; Natalya made one more decision. She thought it safest that Hannah be kept away from Alliana. She wasn’t sure why, but something told her it would be for the best.
Chapter Nine
Natalya rapped softly on Alliana’s door, calling her name as she did so. When she received no reply, she pushed down on the lever, letting herself in without a second thought. The idea that either of them could invade the other’s privacy was unthinkable, not with the bond of friendship they shared. Besides, Lord Arcos had told her that Alliana was distressed, and therefore she was probably still in the tower room and unable to hear the knock or the calling of her name.
A quick glance around the chamber confirmed her suspicion, so Natalya went to the tower room stairs, a worried look on her face. She hated to think that Alliana was upset, and it pained her that her friend had been frightened once again by her husband. That was no way to build a bond between them, and Natalya wished they could find the way to each other’s hearts before the birth of their son.
The fact that the disastrous events of the morning had been unintentional on Lord Arcos’s part bothered her as well. Despite his actions and horrid behavior, Natalya still believed in the man. The earnest distress in his eyes and the genuine hurt and self-loathing that poured from him as he’d told her his tale said volumes for his true character as far as Natalya was concerned. Getting Alliana to see things her way was quite another matter though. In fact, Natalya didn’t even think she should attempt to defend Mikhal the Merciless at this point and time. Her reasoning would fall on deaf ears no matter what she said. Right now Alliana’s feelings were all that mattered and assuaging her fears was of the utmost importance. Alliana was in a fragile state, emotionally as well as physically and her well-being far outweighed Lord Arcos feelings or wishes.
"Alliana, it’s me Sweetie. What are you doing up there by yourself? Tis much warmer down here below." Natalya had decided that she would remain mum about Lord Arcos’s confession and simply listen to her friend, hoping Alliana was of the mind to tell Natalya what had happened. If Alliana knew her husband had shared their fight and his subsequent transformation into a demon, she would most likely be even more agitated than she was now. It wouldn’t be that Natalya intended to lie to Alliana; she would simply be shielding her from the fact that the intimate details of an unpleasant experience had been told to Natalya by Alliana’s husband. It wasn’t something that was commonly done. What happened between a man and his wife was usually a private matter.
"I’m fine. The sunshine warms me; besides, I have throws to shield me from the cold as well. I felt in need of the light. It makes me feel safe."
"From who honey?” Natalya quickly went up the remaining stairs to find Alliana wrapped tightly in furs and huddled on the settee. “Oh, I can see just by looking at you that you are distressed. Tell me, honey. Did something happen or are these simply those horrid emotions tha
t come with being pregnant?" Though she wasn’t going to reveal what she already knew, Natalya was not above using the information to encourage Alliana to talk. It was the only way for her to deal with her fears and the trauma of having her husband, in full demon form, come within a hair’s breadth of attacking her.
“No, my son did not cause this sadness.” Alliana hesitated, Mikhal hadn’t hurt her, not truly, but for some reason Natalya always seemed to see the best in her husband no matter what he did. The last thing she needed right now was for Natalya to defend him. On the other hand, perhaps now Natalya would believe her when she told her he was still a very dangerous and unpredictable demon.
“Tell me what is troubling you, Alliana. Who has made you feel unsafe in your own home?”
"Mikhal."
Natalya’s face showed feigned shock at her friend’s words and she rushed forward, pulling Alliana into her arms, making cooing sounds, then held her from her and looked her over critically. This last was done earnestly, for Natalya did indeed want to see if Alliana truly was unharmed like Lord Arcos claimed she was.
"What did he do? Are you hurt?"
"I... no, I am not hurt, not on my person anyway. Tis here." Alliana put her hand to her heart. "He has shown me yet again that I am wed to a monster and it pains me Natalya. It pains me and frightens me. Last night was… well it twas special and now, now I know he hasn’t changed at all. Not really. He is still capable of hurting me."
"Tell me, sweetie. What happened?" Natalya sat down on the settee with Alliana, pulling the heavy lap robe around them both, and put her friend’s head to her shoulder, gently stroking Alliana head as she did so. "Tell me everything, Alliana. You shall feel better then. I’m here."
Alliana described the events of the past evening, the dinner, the walk, the star gazing, the beautiful nursery playroom, and Natalya could see how her face lit up and that it was clear her heart had warmed to her husband a bit whether she wanted to admit it or not. This of course made the events of the morning that much harder for her to accept because she had finally let her guard down just a bit, finally let her husband into her heart, and begun to see him with new eyes. That small bit of trust had been rewarded with betrayal and fear though, when he had proven what she believed in her heart all along. It was this that pained her the most and made her words die in her throat. Alliana paused, the fingers from one hand twisting her new wedding ring.
"Go on."
"It was such a pleasant night." Natalya could tell that the admission pained Alliana but she made no comment. What could she say? "He ruined it all though by what he did this morning. He is a beast, Natalya."
"Honey, please tell me what happened."
Alliana took a deep breath and related the morning’s horrors. The death of Enid, the metamorphosis of her husband into the beast that lay within, his stalking her like an animal, trapping her on the stairs, how his had eyes shone with evil and bloodlust, how his demon touched her, smelled her, tasted her, and how her heart had pounded when he hovered over her, fangs dripping, ready to take what he thought was his.
"I was so very frightened Natalya. He wasn’t himself, he wasn’t the man you know or the man he has been pretending to be. He was the beast, the demon that has no control. The one who is pure evil and takes what it wants."
"Alliana, did he force himself on you?"
"No, something stopped him. I think it was the baby. He… He seems to react strongly to the babe. I knew I had to stop him so I took his hand and placed it on my belly to remind him of his son, and then he just looked at me for a moment, stroking my stomach. After a while, a calm came over him and he was himself again. The beast replaced by the man once more. It was horrid and terrifying all the same though. He took me once when he was in his demon form and it was terrible, Natalya. I... " Alliana shuddered at the memory of the night Mikhal had raped her in all his fury, full demon face in place.
"Tis all right now, Alliana. It’s over."
"Is it? I’m still here. He is still my husband, and he has this insane notion that he cares for me. Have you ever heard something so absurd? His kind can’t feel. He’s but an animal, a demon. They are driven by lust and pain yet he is relentless in his pleas for me to believe he has love in his cold dead heart. It was bad enough when he punished me and tormented me, but now I must endure his company and listen to his sweet lies day in and day out and it’s simply too much to bear.
“Oh Natalya, the woman in me, the mother in me wants so desperately to trust him and believe his false promises, but my head knows better and my battered heart is proof of the fact that I must hold fast to my hatred of him and the thought that I shall live in this loveless existence for the rest of my life is so very painful. He is my husband. I should be able to care for him and believe in him. I should be able to trust him to love me and take care of our son and me, but I can’t, Natalya, I simply can’t. He portrays himself a man and struts around as if he is one of us, but he isn’t. He simply isn’t, and I refuse to let him trounce upon my heart anymore."
"Oh, honey. No one is saying you must trust him or care for him when you aren’t ready to do so. One can’t force one’s heart to feel things and to let its guard down. You have suffered under his hands and perhaps in time you will come to know you are safe, but perhaps you won’t. That depends entirely on his behavior. Either way I’ll be here.
“I say simply take things as they come. If the good outweighs the bad then follow what your head and heart tells you to do. It is clear that he still harbors a monster inside, and that it can at times still spring forth at any moment and that is indeed troublesome. Your husband has clearly not conquered his beast. You are right to have doubts and fears."
Alliana sat quietly, thinking over Natalya’s words. It wasn’t really true that his beast came forth without warning anymore. She had provoked him time after time and yet he had restrained himself admirably, not that she would admit that to anyone, but any other man would have chastised her for her behavior as of late. Mikhal hadn’t. He had been civil and kept the monster that dwelled within very much under control. Even she had to admit that to herself. No, it had taken something very monumental for his demon to be set free. It had been the act of killing Enid, and something else. There had been something the old witch had been about to reveal that had truly been the catalyst in the terrifying turn of events that morning.
"Natalya... there was something that provoked Mikhal, something besides killing Enid I mean, something that enraged him and caused his demon to come forth and strangle her. It was odd. He had been giving her orders to wash so she could examine me, and she said something, then all of a sudden he was choking the life out of her."
"Was she disrespectful?"
"Yes, but twas more than that. To be honest she was insolent the entire time she was there, but this was different. She said ‘Shall I tell her of your secrets.’ and something about Marishka’s spell. It was then that he attacked her. Up until then he had hit her and yes, hurt her, but he hadn’t flown into a rage until those very words were spoken. It’s clear he didn’t wish for her to tell me something, but I have no idea what Enid’s ramblings were about. I asked him of it later but he wouldn’t say. He told me it was the ranting of an old woman bent on stirring up trouble, but I am not so sure."
Natalya thought back to the days of their ride to the castle and how she sensed then that Lord Arcos was hiding something. This new information made her even more curious about what was behind that scowling personality. What could it be and what did it have to do with Alliana? Perhaps during their next talk she would ask him herself. He hadn’t laid a finger on her yet and Natalya seriously doubted he ever would, so it was worth a try. Oh he might growl and look fierce, in fact she fully expected he would, but she had no doubt that she would be safe. It was certainly worth his wrath if he did indeed tell her what she sought, and his reaction alone would confirm her suspicions even if it didn’t get her answers.
"Well if he won’t answer you, then I think th
at I shall ask him as well."
Alliana’s eyes grew wide at Natalya’s suggestion. She still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that Natalya was so very unafraid of Mikhal the Merciless. In truth, it bothered her to some degree that her friend saw him as anything but fearsome. It wasn’t that she wasn’t pleased that Natalya was being treated well, or that it wasn’t good that Natalya felt she had the freedom to speak her mind here, but it seemed to Alliana that her best friend and her husband shared a closeness that she herself lacked at times with Mikhal.
Yes he was lenient with her now, but look at all she had endured to get to this point, look at all she had suffered. Natalya on the other hand had come here and been granted liberties just like that and had forged an odd bond with Mikhal that had taken Alliana months to establish. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, Alliana knew that some part for her resented the fact that Natalya was more comfortable in her husband’s presence than she was.
"You truly seem to have made friends with my husband, Natalya." Alliana’s voice was quiet and she hated the fact that a bit of jealousy had gnawed its way into her heart again, but she couldn’t help it. As Mikhal’s wife she was the woman whom he should confide in and be the most relaxed around.
"Alliana, please don’t be upset. To be truthful, I feel Lord Arcos grants me liberties simply because he wishes to stay in my favors. He feels that to do so means to be closer to you. Were I simply a Gypsy woman he found along the road I would be treated as any other woman and human. You are what make the difference, Alliana. You are why he is kind to me. It is my thinking that he hopes I will say good things about his character and influence your heart."
Beneath The Shadows of Evil... Torn Page 12
