by Derek Landy
He gritted his teeth. His face was red from exertion, and he really needed to start breathing again sometime soon.
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And then the pipe broke and Scapegrace went flying backward, his whoop of triumph cut short when he hit his head on the floor. He lay there for a moment, free at last and trying not to cry, and then he got up, the shackle dangling from his wrist. There was nothing he could do about the shackles around his ankles, so he quickly shuffled to the door.
Making sure the skeleton and the girl weren't anywhere close, he stepped out. His steps were ridiculously short, and he probably looked like some sort of demented penguin as he made his way away from the pub. He'd find someone to help him, someone who could get these shackles off. After all, the entire population of Roarhaven couldn't want him dead, surely.
He came around a corner, near the Roarhaven Sanctuary, and froze. For a moment he was too stunned to even smile. But then the smile appeared, and it brightened his day. The Torment was pointing a gun at Pleasant and Cain.
Chuckling, Scapegrace shuffled over. The skeleton's skull was as blank as ever, but the girl was looking at the Torment like she couldn't believe what he had just said. Nobody paid any attention to Scapegrace.
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"You can't be serious," said Cain.
Scapegrace loved the way the Torment ignored her and spoke only to the skeleton. "Kill the child," he was saying. "Shoot her, if you want. Set fire to her. Strangle her. I do not care."
If Scapegrace had been able, he would have done a dance there and then.
"I'm not going to kill Valkyrie," Pleasant said.
"Dead man, what is one life compared to billions? And if the Faceless Ones return, billions will die. You know this."
"That may be so, but I'm not killing her."
"Those are my terms."
"There must be something else," Skulduggery said. "Something reasonable I can do."
"I'll make this easy for you."
The Torment tossed the skeleton's revolver back to him. The skeleton caught it and pointed it right between the Torment's eyes. Scapegrace lost his grin. Things had suddenly taken a turn for the worse.
"No one dies here," Pleasant said, "except maybe you. Where is the Grotesquery?"
"I am the Torment, dead man. Do you really think I fear death?"
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For another few seconds, the gun didn't waver, but then Pleasant lowered his arm. Scapegrace could breathe again, and the Torment nodded with satisfaction.
"You need my help," he said. "You have my terms. Kill the child."
"You can't just-- "
"Time is running out."
"Listen to me, this is insane. She's done nothing-- "
"Tick," the Torment said. "Tock."
The skeleton looked at the girl, and Scapegrace saw the doubt in her eyes.
She pointed at the Torment. "Beat him up. Beat him up or, or something. Shoot his foot."
The skeleton shook his head. "Threats won't work."
"Empty threats won't work, but if you actually shoot his foot-- "
"Valkyrie, no. I've met people like him before. Everyone has a breaking point, but we don't have time." Pleasant turned back to the Torment. "How do I know you have the information I need?"
"Because I'm telling you I do," the Torment answered, "and you don't have the luxury to doubt
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me. By now, Baron Vengeous will have retrieved Lord Vile's armor. The time you have left is like sand clasped in a fist. It's sifting through your fingers, dead man. Will you kill the child?"
"He will not!" Cain said defiantly. "Tell him, Skulduggery!"
Scapegrace's heart almost burst with joy when Pleasant remained silent.
Cain stared at the skeleton, and took one step away. "Don't tell me you're actually considering this."
"Do you have your phone?"
"What?"
"You need to call your parents. You have to say good-bye."
A moment passed, and Cain turned to run, but Pleasant was too fast. He grabbed her wrist and twisted, and she fell to her knees in pain.
"Be brave," the skeleton said.
"Let go of me!" Cain shouted.
Pleasant looked at the Torment. "Give us a minute."
"A minute," the Torment said. "Nothing more."
Scapegrace watched as the skeleton pulled Cain to her feet, his hand still gripping her arm, and led
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her away. The words he spoke were quiet, and the girl shook her head and tried to pull away again. They got to the corner of the Roarhaven Sanctuary, and finally the girl started nodding. She took out her phone.
"This is brilliant," Scapegrace said to the Torment.
The Torment turned his head to him, and frowned. "Who are you?"
"I'm ... sorry? It's me, it's Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I. . . built the cellar for you?"
"Oh," the Torment said. "You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead."
Although he had never known the Torment to make a joke, Scapegrace decided he was making a joke now, so he laughed.
"This is brilliant," he said again. "Making him kill Cain. I mean, it's just brilliant. It's genius. I'd have never thought of something like this."
"I know."
"Do you mind me asking, where do you get your ideas? Do they come to you in a dream, or is it just, you know, instinct? I'm keeping a, like a journal, where I jot down all my ideas and my thoughts and-- "
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The Torment looked at him again and Scapegrace shut up.
"You irritate me," the Torment said.
"Sorry."
The Torment went back to ignoring him. "Dead man," he said loudly. "Your minute is up."
Pleasant put his hands on Cain's shoulders. He spoke to her and went to hug her. She twisted and broke away, shoved him back. For a moment she was obscured from view, but when Pleasant moved again, Scapegrace could see the tears in her eyes.
Pleasant took her arm, and they walked back.
"You will kill her?" the Torment asked.
Pleasant sagged. "Yes."
Scapegrace looked at Cain. She was standing silently, as straight as she could, trying to be fearless despite the tears.
"Then by all means," the Torment said, "kill her."
Pleasant hesitated, then took his gun from his jacket.
"I'm sorry, Valkyrie," Pleasant said softly.
"Don't talk to me," Cain said. "Just do what you have to do."
"That looks like protective clothing," the
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Torment commented. "Be sure to shoot into her flesh. You wouldn't want me to think you cheated, after all."
Cain parted her tunic, and Scapegrace smiled. He wished this entire thing were being recorded so he could play it back in the future, again and again. The moment when Skulduggery Pleasant killed Valkyrie Cain.
"Please forgive me," Pleasant said, then aimed the gun at the girl and pulled the trigger.
The gunshot hurt Scapegrace's ears, and Cain's body jerked and her eyes widened and she stepped back, then fell awkwardly to her knees, clutching the wound. Blood trickled from her fingers.
Valkyrie Cain fell forward, her face hitting the ground.
Pleasant looked down at her.
"She was an innocent girl," he whispered.
"She had Ancient blood in her veins," the Torment responded, "and so was a fitting payment for the information you require. The Grotesquery is hidden in a castle ruins, on the hill in Bancrook. Detective? Can you hear me?"
Pleasant raised his head slowly.
"I wonder if you can get there before Vengeous,"
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the Torment continued. "What do you think?"
"If you're lying . . .," Pleasant began.
"Why would I lie? I asked you to kill the child, and you did. I keep my bargains."
Pleasant stood over Valkyrie Cain's dead body. After a moment he hunkered down and picked it up.
"Scapegrace," he said. "Back to the car."
Scapegrace laughed. "What, do you think I'm nuts? I'm staying here."
"No. I'm taking you back."
Scapegrace grinned and looked over at the Torment.
"Why are you looking at me?" the Torment asked.
Scapegrace's smile faded. "What?"
"There was nothing in our bargain concerning you."
"But I can't go back!" Scapegrace cried. "He'll put me in jail!"
"You seem to think I care."
"Scapegrace," Pleasant said, in a voice devoid of any human emotion. "Get back to the car. Start walking."
Scapegrace looked around desperately, but
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there was no one to help him. Trying not to cry, he shuffled off.
"I wish to thank you, Detective," the Torment said. "I look around at this world, at what it's become, I look around at my fellow sorcerers as they huddle in shadows, and I realize now that I have been waiting. Do you see? I have been waiting for a reason to live again, to emerge from my dank and squalid cellar. I have a reason now. I have a purpose now. For years I have slumbered, but now I am awake. You have awoken me, Detective. And we shall meet again."
"Count on it," Pleasant responded.
The Torment smiled, then turned his back and walked away.
Scapegrace was betrayed. Let down. Abandoned. Pleasant walked beside him, carrying the dead girl in his arms. Scapegrace doubted he would survive the journey back to the Sanctuary. He had heard tales of the Skeleton Detective's fury, and there was no one else around for him to take it out on. Scapegrace couldn't reason with him, he couldn't bargain with him. There was no hope. No hope left.
They got to the car, and Pleasant laid the girl's body in the trunk, carefully, then looked back at
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the town. The Torment was gone from sight, and the town looked empty now, as night fell.
"Well, we did it," Pleasant said, sounding relieved.
Scapegrace frowned but didn't say anything.
"This has been a good day so far, all things considered," Pleasant continued. "I have the location of the Grotesquery and I got to kill Valkyrie, which admittedly is something I've been wanting to do since I met her. She can be incredibly annoying. Had you noticed that?"
"Urn."
"She hardly ever shut up. I pretended to be friends with her, but honestly, I just felt sorry for the poor girl. Not the brightest, you know?"
"You're such a goon," said a voice from behind, and Scapegrace whirled around and squealed as Valkyrie Cain walked up, hands in her pockets and a smile on her face.
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Chapter Sixteen
THE SWITCH
VALKYRIE KNEW IT was a bluff, she just knew it, and Skulduggery confirmed it when he uttered the code words.
"Be brave."
He was gripping her wrist tightly. Her knees were sore from where she had dropped. Her performance was pretty impressive, she had to admit. Hopefully it was also pretty believable.
"Let go of me!" she shouted.
Skulduggery looked over at the Torment. Scapegrace was standing beside him, enjoying every second of what he thought was going on.
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"Give us a minute," Skulduggery said.
"A minute," the Torment replied. "Nothing more."
Valkyrie let Skulduggery pull her to her feet and lead her away.
"Keep shaking your head," he said softly.
"What are we going to do?" she asked. "The only way he tells us what we want to know is if you kill me."
"I'm not going to kill you."
"Oh good."
"I'm going to kill your reflection."
"What? How?"
"Where is it right now?"
"Half day in school, so it should be at home."
"Call it, tell it to step back inside the mirror."
To keep up the act, Valkyrie tried, and failed, to pull away. When Skulduggery pulled her back to him, she continued. "But if you do kill it, what will happen? Will it, like, actually die?"
"It doesn't live," Skulduggery reminded her, "so it can't die. It will, however, appear to be dead. I think if we return it to the mirror afterward, though, it should be fine."
"You think?"
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"This hasn't been done before. No one has bothered, simply because sorcerers can tell a reflection from a real person with ease. The only way this will work is if the Torment is as out of practice as we're hoping."
They reached the corner of the Roarhaven Sanctuary, and Valkyrie took out her phone. Skulduggery stepped behind the corner and hunkered down out of sight. He started to dig a hole with his hands.
Valkyrie dialed her home phone, and it was answered after two rings.
"Hello," her own voice said.
"Are you alone?" Valkyrie asked.
"Yes," the reflection answered. "Your parents are still at work. I'm sitting in your room, doing your homework."
"I need you to step into the mirror, okay? We're going to try something."
"All right."
"And leave a note for Mum. Tell her I'm spending the night at a friend's."
"What friend?"
"I don't know," Valkyrie said impatiently. "Pick one."
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"But you don't have any friends."
Valkyrie glowered. "Tell her I'm sleeping over at Hannah Foley's."
"Hannah Foley doesn't like you."
"Just do it!" Valkyrie snapped, and hung up.
Skulduggery was scooping out handfuls of earth, making a shallow hole about three feet in diameter.
She hesitated. "It'll be okay, won't it? Once we put it back in the mirror, it'll come back to life, right? I know it's not life life, but..."
"Valkyrie, me shooting the reflection is just the same as me tearing up a photograph of you. There is absolutely no difference."
She nodded. "Okay. Yes, I know. Okay."
He smoothed out the base of the hole, and with his finger he drew a large circle in the dirt, and in that circle he drew an eye with a wavy line through it.
"Are they looking?" he asked.
Valkyrie held a hand to her face like she was crying, and glanced back. "No, they're talking. The Torment is looking annoyed."
Skulduggery stood and held out a hand. The air around him became damp, and droplets of moisture began to form. A rainbow appeared in this
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mist and cloud, and abruptly vanished when Skulduggery drew it all in tighter and let it fall, as rain, into the hole.
He said, "Surface speak, surface feel, surface think, surface real," and then his fingers curled. The puddle became a mini whirlpool that erased the pattern at its base. Skulduggery calmed the water, and nodded to Valkyrie.
She stood directly over the puddle and looked down, then dipped her toe in the water. The puddle rippled, obscuring her view.
And then a hand broke the surface. They watched the reflection, clad in the same black clothes Valkyrie was wearing, as it slowly climbed up, out of the puddle. No, Valkyrie corrected herself, it wasn't climbing out of the puddle, for she could still see the bottom of the hole. Rather, the reflection was climbing out of the surface of the puddle, and changing from a two-dimensional image into a three-dimensional person before her eyes.
Skulduggery took its hand and helped it out the rest of the way, and it stood there and didn't speak. It wasn't even curious about why it had been summoned.
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"We're going to kill you," Valkyrie told it.
It nodded. "All right."
"Can you cry?"
The reflection started weeping. The sudden change was startling.
"Dead man," the Torment called. "Your minute is up."
Skulduggery rested his hands on Valkyrie's shoulders. "Push me away," he said.
He moved in to hug her and Valkyrie turned so that he blocked her from the Torment's view, and she shoved him back and switched places with the reflection. She pressed h
erself against the wall of the building and didn't move, expecting to hear a shout of alarm. But no shout came. They hadn't noticed the switch.
Skulduggery and the reflection walked back around the corner, and Valkyrie made her way to the cover of the trees. She moved quietly, keeping low, and she didn't once peek. At first, she reasoned that she didn't want to risk being discovered, but she knew it wasn't that.
The truth was, she didn't want to see herself being killed.
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She flinched when she heard the gunshot. Her skin was cold, and she had goose bumps. She rubbed her arms through her coat.
A few minutes later she heard Skulduggery and Scapegrace approaching. She watched them go to the Bentley. Skulduggery placed the reflection's body in the trunk. It looked so limp. Valkyrie took a deep breath. Tearing up a photograph. That's all it was. That's all.
The Torment had disappeared back into the town, having suddenly lost all interest. Scapegrace probably expected Skulduggery to rip him apart, but Skulduggery was too busy teasing Valkyrie. She came out from hiding and strolled over, her unease fading. If he was joking, that meant the plan had worked.
"She hardly ever shut up," Skulduggery was saying. "I pretended to be friends with her, but honestly, I just felt sorry for the poor girl. Not the brightest, you know?"
"You're such a goon," Valkyrie said, a grin forming, and Scapegrace turned and squealed. She ignored him. "Did we get what we need?"
"Bancrook," Skulduggery said. "Vengeous probably has Vile's armor by now, but the Grotesquery
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should still be in Bancrook. We got what we need."
"You're dead," Scapegrace said in a small voice. "You're . . . you're lying in the trunk."
"Sorry to disappoint you, but my reflection is lying in the trunk."
