by Paige Steele
“You both need to zip it,” Kenna groans, as she starts to wake up.
“Now look what you did, Lover Boy, you woke up Sleeping Beauty.”
“Yeah, I did.” My words come out sarcastically to her while I laugh.
Kenna suddenly realizes just how close we are, and I feel her body stiffen under my hands. She pulls away from me, stands, and excuses herself to the bathroom. Rising up, I retrieve a cup of coffee from the kitchen, and sit on one of the stools. I watch as Kenna comes back from the bathroom, she’s already changed into a different outfit. She’s now wearing her little black yoga running shorts and a red Honda shirt; they are both nicely form fitting to her tight little body. She has a look to her that is all natural beauty. Her hair is now pulled up in a ponytail and her face is freshly washed with no makeup. Why haven’t I taken the time to notice her features before? I mean, I always knew how pretty she is, but not how beautiful her eyes are or how her skin just seems to glow in any light she’s in.
“Well, ladies, as much as I’d love to sit here and stare at you both all day, I’ve got a workout with my trainer today, and Cooper’s heading over as well.” My eyes never leave Kenna as I speak.
“You have fun with that, Lover Boy. My ass is sitting in the sun today. I’m enjoying this downtime that we’ve got.” Maddie puts a little sass in her words, as she talks over her shoulder at me, while she pulls down another coffee mug for Kenna.
“What are you doing today, Kenna?” I ask.
“Not sure, actually. I know I need a few things at the store today. But then I may join Mads.”
“Well, give me a shout later,” I say, walking my cup over to the sink, just as Kenna heads over and grabs the coffee that Maddie poured for her, in the mug that has ‘Pretty Dirty’ written across it.
“Will do,” she whispers, looking up at me as our bodies brush against each other in the small space between the counter and sink.
I can’t help but whisper back close to her ear, “I like your cup.”
Noticing her flushed face, I know my words got to her, and I have to admit, I love it. Smiling at her then at Maddie, I head for the door.
“Have a great day, ladies,” I say, walking out.
As I head home, I think about last night, and what might or might not be going on between Kenna and myself. I have no real answers, but I do know I’m intrigued to see just how it turns out.
After I arrive home, I grab an apple as I take the stairs, two at a time, to my room. Then it dawns on me that I haven’t thought of my wrist and the fucking pain that usually lingers. Walking in my room, I realize that it’s Kenna that made me forget. She is the medicine I’m starting to crave and need.
I think today my workout is going to be different than what it’s been like in the past. I’m ready to put in what is necessary to get back to racing, stronger and better than ever.
Kenna
It’s been almost two weeks since Ryan left the morning after the both of us fell asleep on my couch together. It was a bit awkward that day; well at least it was for me. He, on the other hand, acted like the same old Ryan. I let it go, and we were back to the way we always had been by that evening. I can only hope he’ll understand that easily when he finds out I’ve kept him in the dark about a very important part of my life.
Ryan starts riding again today. I’m planning on going over to his house tonight to make him dinner to celebrate. Drinking has not been on the top of his to do list anymore, ever since last Friday, when he got the green light from the doctor to start riding again; he’s been focused on that. It’s made it easier to talk to him and not feel like I was stepping on his toes with yet another lecture of how he’s going to be fine. Cooper is over there today with him. He said he was going to be by Ryan’s side when he starts the bike up for the first time. Ansley is going to head over with me to start dinner, while they’re finishing up their ride.
We arrive shortly after four in the afternoon, knowing we have just over an hour before they’ll be in; we dive into cooking. Ansley is so giddy happy these days, it’s crazy how in love she and Cooper are. I couldn’t be any happier for them. They’ve been making plans for the wedding, deciding on a springtime wedding. I think it’s going to be the weekend in between when Supercross ends and when Motocross begins. It’s the only downtime they have, unless they wait until fall after the outdoor season.
“What time did the guys say they’d be in?”
“Around five thirty,” I let her know.
“K, we better get started on these salads.”
“Agreed. I can’t wait to hear how Ryan liked being back on the bike.”
“I know, hopefully everything went okay.”
“He was so happy when I spoke to him this morning, you’d swear it was Christmas morning.”
“You guys are getting pretty close, huh?”
“We are.” I look away from Ansley as I say it, I’m not sure why.
“Kenna, look at me.”
“Why?” I keep looking at what I’m doing and not her.
“Because…come on.”
“Why?”
“Oh my God, you’re falling in love with him, aren’t you?” she asks, as she turns me to face her. I guess it’s written on my face because I haven’t admitted it to anyone.
I must have looked like a deer in headlights because when she looks at me, her eyes get even wider. “Kenna, you are, you’re in love with Ryan.”
“I think I am,” I whisper back.
Ansley’s face lights up as she smiles at me. “Why do you look happy but worried?”
“I don’t know, I guess I haven’t said it out loud to anyone, and I’m not sure how he’s feeling about me.”
“Though he hasn’t said the ‘love’ word to me,” she says, putting air quotes around love, “he smiles when he talks about you too. So if I had to guess, I’d say, he’s falling pretty hard himself. I’ve never known him to give a girl more than a month of his time, so I’m thinking Mr. Ryan Evans’ heart is involved as well.”
“Not sure, and I don’t want to get ahead of myself or scare him away, so please don’t say anything,” I say, squeezing her hand that was in mine.
“I won’t, promise.”
“Thanks, Ans.”
“You’re good for him, ya know.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so.”
We start making the salads and are just about ready to throw the steaks and chicken on when the guys walk in. I see out of the corner of my eye the front door open, and a helmet go flying across the room just as the door slams shut, and then reopens.
“What the hell was that?” Ansley asks, as she looks over at me.
“I’m not sure exactly.” Which isn’t a total lie because I didn’t see who came in or what exactly happened, but deep down I know.
We both drop what we’re doing and head to the living room. Ryan is swearing and Cooper is trying to calm him down. I see Ryan pick up a bottle of, his not so nice friend, Jose. He looks pissed, and I can tell he wants to scream as he tips back the bottle.
“What’s going on?” Ansley dives right in, doesn’t skirt around anything.
“Oh, it’s been a great fucking day, Ansley, that’s what’s going on.” The sound of his voice and look on his face, tell me that he’s in pain.
“Ryan, it’s going to take time to build up the strength in it. It’s going to bother you at times; you just need to work with it more. It’s your first time on a bike again, and a 450 at that, dude, give it some time.” Cooper is trying to give him words of encouragement, but he’s not listening. I can tell, as he again tips back the bottle.
“Ryan, you don’t need that, it’s not going to help,” Ansley says to him with concern in her voice.
“Screw you, Ansley, what the hell do you know about what I need?” he yells over at her.
“Ryan, I’m going to let that fly because I know you’re pissed, but if you ever talk to her that way again, I’m go
ing to personally kick your ass. So word to the wise, you should apologize now and just walk away. Cool off and rethink what you just said to her!” Cooper barks back at Ryan, which grabs his attention.
Ryan walks through the living room to the sliding glass doors, pulls them open and walks out. I look at both Cooper and Ansley, smile a sad smile, and head in the same direction. Knowing that they haven’t really seen him in this angry, drinking stage, I feel I need to go to him.
“They’re just trying to help you,” I say, just over a whisper.
“Kenna, not now.” I can hear the struggle in his voice to even talk back.
He’s sitting on one of the deck steps and drops his head down, “I can’t take it anymore,” I hear him say as I walk closer.
“Ryan.” I sit down next him, leaning my head against his bicep, sliding my hand under his arm and down until it reaches his. I lace our fingers together, before he can object, as he looks over at me. “It’s going to be okay…you’re going to be okay. I know it.”
“Right now it doesn’t feel that way; in fact, it’s fucking killing me.”
“I’m sorry.” I realized as he said it, that I’ve been holding his injured hand.
“No, don’t,” he says as I start to pull away, “it helps…you help.”
I don’t move for what feels like an hour, when in all reality, it’s only been just a few minutes.
“Looks like the girls made a hell of a meal for us. What do you say we throw these steaks on and eat?” Cooper asks, as he and Ansley have walked out and are standing behind us. I know he’s trying to break up the tension that is boiling between them, caused by Ryan’s outburst earlier.
“Sounds good to me,” Ryan says with a small grin, as he leans over and kisses me on the cheek.
Goosebumps cover my body as we both stand. I can tell by just looking at him, he’s putting a smile on his face for them. As he walks away, he throws his arm around Ansley’s shoulders and she accepts his embrace; he whispers in her ear and she smiles up at him. Ansley means so much to him. I’m pretty sure he just made sure she knew that too.
Ryan
The last five days have been a struggle, off and on, and after the first day riding I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to do this again. But today, I have hope again. I rode for a solid two hours on the 450 before my hand started to ache, which is about ninety minutes longer than I was able to do the first day. I haven’t taken any pain meds since I came home from the hospital, and I haven’t had a drink since the day I rode my bike for the first time since the accident.
Once again, Kenna helped me through that night after riding. She seems to always be there, even when I don’t think I need her. I downed a bottle of Fireball after Cooper and Ansley left. Passing out on the couch was not one of my finer moments and once again, Kenna stayed over and cleaned up after me. I swore that night was the last night I’d drink because of the pain, and that’s exactly what I’ve done.
I’ve been working more on gaining strength in my wrist and hand. Between the physical therapist and the team’s trainer, I’ve come a long way. So now it’s time to put the hours in on the track, gain speed, and train harder than I ever have before. I have just about a month before the season is set to begin. I guarantee you; I will be on the starting line for the first race in January.
Cooper: What’s going on?
Me: Nothing, just got done riding. You?
Cooper: Same. How’d it go?
Me: Good, pain’s getting better. I rode for a solid two hours before I had to stop to take a break.
Cooper: I’m glad, dude. Soon it’ll be time to start kicking some ass in the 450 class for ya.
Me: Ok, don’t go crazy just yet, I still have a lot of work to do.
Cooper: Not confused, trust me. You got this, buddy. And this year is my year, your number one plate is going to look good on my Yamaha.
Me: I hope you’re right.
Cooper: Only time will tell.
Me: Off to shower and see if Kenna wants to grab something to eat.
Cooper: You two are getting close, aren’t you?
Me: We are. She’s special but holds back on some things. Not sure what her deal is yet.
Cooper: Not sure. Give her time; she might open up, as you two get even closer.
Me: Yeah, maybe.
Cooper: Keep me posted. Time to shower myself and grab a bite with Ansley.
Me: Will do. Tell Ans I said hello.
Cooper: Will do as well. Later.
Before getting into the shower, I shoot off a message to Kenna, asking her if she wants to go out for dinner. As I start the water my phone goes off, alerting me of a message. She texts back ‘sure’ and I respond that I’ll be over in an hour. I want to do something nice for her; she’s been here helping my ass through a difficult time. She is an amazing friend, who I am starting to have feelings for, but I’m not sure what she’s thinking. I haven’t ever crossed the line with her. Tonight just might be the night, where I push the limits to see if I can figure out how she’s feeling about us.
Dinner was great; we’re now going back to her apartment to hang for a bit before I head back. The conversation was pretty casual at the table tonight, so I’m hoping to pull more out of her once we settle on the couch. I want to know of her past, where she grew up, or anything else she wants to share.
“Maddie home tonight?” I ask as she unlocks her door.
“Nope, she went out with some guy. I actually think I remember her saying he was from your team.”
“Honda?”
“Yep. She said he texted her this week and asked her out.”
“What about Jesse?”
“She’s always said they’re just friends so I guess it’s true.”
“Damn, they both flirt as if they’re into each other.”
“I know, right? That’s what I thought. I’m not so sure they aren’t, but I think they enjoy picking on each other too much to admit their feelings.”
“I guess we’ll see, huh?”
“Yeah, especially when Jesse finds out she’s gone on a date.”
“You’re right.” I think he’s going to be really pissed about it, but I don’t say that to Kenna. Jesse’s a pretty laid back kind of guy, so he’ll probably never actually show Maddie just how much it’ll affect him.
After walking in, we both grab a water from the fridge and head to the living room. She grabs the remote as she sits down; I follow right behind her, sitting a bit closer than normal.
“Can you stay for a movie?” she asks, looking directly at the TV.
“I can if you want me to.” I want to see her response to this. I want to hear her say…stay.
“Umm, of course I do,” she answers back while looking over at me.
“Then you better pick a good one.”
“So that means, no romance, so action packed it is.”
“Haha, you say that like you know me.”
“I think I do.” She smiles.
“Oh, really do you now?”
“Well, at least I think I do.”
I chuckle a little at her as the movie begins. She looks over at me and shakes her head while grinning. Sitting sideways, facing both me and the TV, she pulls her legs up under her on the couch, while resting her head on the back. I look over at her and our noses are mere inches away from one another’s. Finding myself staring for too long, I just smile and look back at the movie. I can’t help but to glance back at her; she’s breathtaking as the lights from the TV make her eyes shine brighter than before.
“You’re tired.”
“I am a bit, but it’s okay.”
“I have an idea,” I say standing, pulling the blanket off the arm of the couch and moving to sit behind her, “come here.”
She stares for a moment before she moves to lean into my open arms. After she covers up, she rests her head in the nook of my arm and I wrap it around her. Holding her feels right, like I am mea
nt to do it. I take a deep breath as I kiss the top of her head, I can’t help but think how good she smells. Her scent I won’t soon forget.
Before the movie ends, she is sound asleep and has slipped down, now resting her head in my lap. I slip out from under her, stand and stretch for a moment, then look down at the beauty set before me. Scooping her up, she immediately wraps her arms around my neck like it’s natural, you know, like it’s something we do all the time. Walking in her room, it's dark other than the light coming from the hallway, and I glance around quickly before laying her down on her bed. I reach up behind my neck, unlace her fingers slowly; then I can’t help myself but to lean down and kiss her lips softly. I wasn’t anticipating her kissing me back and I think I lose myself in the moment, as my hand caresses the side of her face. Once a small but noticeable moan escapes both her throat, as well as mine, I know I need to stop this before it gets out of hand. Her eyes flutter open at me as I pull back and stand up. She smiles, then her eyes slowly close again.
“Ryan.”
“Sleep, girl,” I say, as I lean down one more time to kiss her cheek.
“Hmm, I wish you’d kiss me like you did at your house.” I don’t know if she’s talking in her sleep or not, because her eyes are completely closed.
Before walking out, I stare down at her for a moment, trying to figure out if what she just said is true; did we already kiss and I just don’t remember it? No, there’s no way. Shaking my head, I take her blanket from the end of the bed and spread it over her, then turn and walk out.
I go through the next two weeks riding my ass off. There are only a couple of weeks before the races start, and I’m not sure my lap times are good enough. Today I’m going to start off with a work out in the house gym; I need to blow off a little steam. Between riding, training, and watching past races, I haven’t anytime for anything, or anyone, and that includes Kenna. We’ve only seen each other once in the last ten days. To be honest, I know I have to stay focused but since that kiss in her room, she has taken over my thoughts on several occasions. She’s been out of town for the last week, and I have no idea where she is or what she’s been doing. She was so vague when she left, the only thing I was told was she had to be gone to do something for Honda and that she’d be back next week.
