by Divine A
The Ungrateful Act.
Natalie was the type of girl that could always bring a smile to the people around her. She wasn't the class clown, but she always had something nice to say about someone else, and though she had a lot to be proud of, she never rubbed it in anyone's face. At seventeen her life was going well. Her grades in school were very good, and she was looking forward to going to an excellent college. She lived at home with her parents, who she was very close with. Her mother would often spend hours offering her advice about life. Her father would share stories about his past with her, and Natalie was always willing to listen. She enjoyed her time with her parents but when she entered her senior year of high school she became very busy. She found she had less time to spend with them, and it seemed her parents understood that. Natalie had her mother's thick dark brown hair that fell in waves to her waist. She had her father's almond shaded eyes, a brown so pale that it almost looked golden, especially when the sun struck it. She was a beautiful young woman, but she had very little patience for the high school boys that tripped over themselves in an attempt to get her attention. She had more important things to focus on in life, and did not find their immature ways to be attractive. As full of her life was, there was one part that was missing. Her older sister Michelle had left for college six years before, and had never bothered to look back. Though her parents tried to reach out to her, she would ignore their calls or only share a few words before she claimed she was too busy to talk. Natalie had once adored her, and thought she was the most amazing person in the world. But with every year that passed by without even a phone call or an e-mail, she was getting the message- Michelle had moved one with her life, and she did not want anything to do with her family. As much as it hurt, Natalie felt like she should do the same, and let Michelle become her sister only in name. On that particular day, Natalie was volunteering for an after school tutoring program. She did it to build up her college portfolio, but also because she liked to mentor the younger kids. She was half way through her afternoon session when she heard the sirens. They lived in a fairly small town, and the school was close to the main road of the town. It wasn't unusual to hear sirens around rush hour when there might be an accident or two. However, something felt different about this to Natalie. It was as if the sirens were ringing inside of her. She was already standing from the table when she heard one of the teachers gasp.
“Natalie,” she called out, but Natalie was already rushing past her and out on to the street. She could see the flashing lights not far down the road. She ran with all of her strength, hoping, but already certain. There was no reason to believe that the mangled car that was surrounded by police cones belonged to her parents. It was so twisted and burned that she would never have been able to recognize it. But her mother's purse laying on the side of the road, was all she really needed to see.
“Oh no!” she moaned out as she realized there was not much chance her parents were alive. “Oh no!” she cried out louder and sank to her knees. “No, no, no,” she kept repeating as the police officers began to surround her and guide her away from the gruesome view of the accident. They ushered her into an ambulance, put a blanket around her, pushed a bottle of water into her hands. There were not ambulances leaving, there were no bodies to rush to the hospital. The other vehicle involved in the crash was a motorcycle, the driver of which had not likely survived.
“He was drunk,” she overheard a cop say. “He was drunk and swerved right into their lane. He tried to avoid hitting the motorcycle and flipped the car, saddest thing,” he sighed, not realizing that Natalie was within earshot.
Natalie just stared, her heart beating slowly, as if it wished to stop.
Natalie stared numbly at the wall in front of her. She did not know what she was supposed to do. She could not feel her body, and wasn't even sure if she was breathing. How did two people just disappear from the world like that so easily? She had been talking to them just that afternoon, making promises about spending time together, thinking about the future, and now, she was sitting in a police station waiting to be led to their bodies.
"She's only seventeen," she heard a cop whisper to another. "Should she really be the one to identify them?"
'Someone has to," the other cop replied. "We haven't been able to reach the sister, so we're going to have to ask the girl to do it."
Natalie found the statement to be very strange. It made her heart break to think that her parents bodies were lying on a slab somewhere waiting to be claimed, as if her grief could not reach them, until she announced who they were, who they had been. She found herself standing up without knowing why. Then she began to walk toward the officers.
"I want to," she said quietly, her eyes wide and dazed. "Please, take me to them, they shouldn't be alone," she whispered.
"Let's give your sister a little more time to get here," the older officer suggested. "I'm sure she wouldn't want to let you do something like this."
"And I'm sure she won't bother to come," Natalie countered, narrowing her dark lashes around her golden hued eyes. "I want to go see them, should I walk to the hospital?" "No," the younger officer said firmly after exchanging a glance with his superior. "I'll take her," he offered quietly.
"Alright," the older officer sighed. He hated to see the girl have to go through it, but he knew that there was not much other choice. As the cop was escorting her out of the police station, Natalie kept her head down. She didn't want to see the world still moving on around her, as if nothing had happened, as if her world had not completely ended. “I'm here!” a shrill voice called out from across the parking lot. “Oh Natalie I'm here!” she hollered again and hurried across the parking lot.
Natalie looked up reluctantly to see her sister running toward her. She still looked so beautiful, with her dark hair just as long and just as thick, fluttering like ribbons as she ran. Her eyes, the deep black color of her mother's were glazed with tears by the time she reached Natalie.
“Michelle,” Natalie said, her voice shaking.
“Look at you,” Michelle gasped as she studied her little sister's features. It had been so long since she had last seen her, and now Natalie was nearly an adult. Not far behind Michelle was a man striding across the parking lot. He had his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans, his shoulders hunched against the breeze, his eyes locked to the gathering ahead of him. He was about six foot, and his dark hair was straight and cut close to his scalp. His skin was deeply tanned from working outside, and his eyes, when they briefly met Natalie's were a crisp crystal blue shade. In the fog of grief and shock that Natalie was in, his eyes were the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. She didn't notice Natalie hugging her, pressing her hard against her, until she felt the rounded belly her loose blouse barely hid.
“Are you?” she asked with surprise as she looked up at her sister.
“Pregnant,” Michelle smiled through her tears. “About four months,” she added. “Isn't it great?”
Natalie was stunned that her sister had not even bothered to tell her.
“Did Mom even know?” she asked, her voice full of annoyance.
“Yes, but I asked her to keep it a secret,” Michelle mumbled, fresh tears filling her eyes. “I was just wanted to be sure everything went well first,” she cleared her throat and wrapped an arm around the man's waist as he paused beside her.
“You remember Brian don't you?” she smiled as if they were not strangers. “Yes of course,” Natalie said her eyes lingering on Brian. She had met him once at their wedding.
“I'm sorry for your loss, our loss,” Brian said quietly.
“We'll talk more later,” Michelle said, her voice panicked. “I need to see them, where are they?”
The officer gestured to the patrol
car he had been leading Natalie toward. “We were just heading over to the hospital, maybe it would be better if you took her.” Natalie wished she could go with him, as Michelle was nothing more than a stranger, and her husband Brian, seemed uncomfortable.
“Of course we'll take her,” Brian said firmly and offered his hand to Natalie. Natalie surveyed him closely and wondered if he was someone she could trust. She didn't offer her hand in return.
“Okay then,” the cop nodded and gave Natalie a light pat on her shoulder. “Keep your head up sweetheart, life isn't always easy,” he said in an awkward attempt to soothe her. Michelle's car was a flashy convertible, black and shiny. It looked like it cost a million dollars, to Natalie. She knew her sister's career had taken off, but was she rich? It didn't matter to Natalie, she just slumped down in the backseat.
“I can't believe this happened,” Michelle kept repeating, her voice logged with tears. Natalie could not cry, she didn't bother to even speak. When they pulled up in the hospital parking lot, Natalie had a brief hope that maybe it was a mistake. Maybe her parents weren't really in the morgue. Maybe they were in hospital rooms getting doctored up, and it was all a mix up.
“Mom,” she whispered as Brian opened the door for her. She didn't even see him as she walked toward the hospital.
“Do you think she's okay?” Michelle wondered as she followed after her sister. “No,” Brian replied and wrapped his arms around his wife's waist. “She won't be for a while.”
Seeing her parents, made everything real to Natalie. They were not coming home. The accident had robbed them of their lives, robbed her of her parents. She stood between their bodies, unable to move away from them, while Michelle wept off to the side and signed the necessary paperwork. Natalie did not cry. She only struggled to breathe. When she felt a hand rubbing lightly over her shoulder, the warmth of it sinking through the thin material of her shirt, she glanced up to find Brian standing beside her. “It's time to go Natalie,” he said quietly. Natalie stared at him emptily. She barely even knew him, but he had made an effort to comfort her.
“I'll stay,” she said without defiance, just certainty.
“No,” Michelle said firmly as she finished signing the paperwork. “It's not good for you Natalie, you need to come back to the house with us, we need to make arrangements for the funeral.”
Natalie heard her words from a distance, as if she had cotton balls stuck in her ears. None of them made sense to her.
“I'll stay,” she said again, and planted her feet more firmly against the floor. “Natalie,” Brian coaxed again, his voice soft, his touch so very warm when it grazed her cheek. “They wouldn't want you to stay here like this,” he assured her. “They would tell you, go home, be with your sister, be where life is, not in this place.”
Natalie was shaking, she did not realize it until he took her hand in his. “Come on Natalie, it's time to go,” he repeated and began to lead her out of the morgue. Michelle watched in amazement as Natalie did not put up a fight.
The funeral was a small affair. Many of the community wanted to attend, but Michelle insisted it should be closed. She felt it honored her parents more if it was just close friends and family. Natalie didn't have an opinion, she hadn't said much at all. There was a priest, but Natalie didn't hear his words. Of course someone stood up and spoke about the tragedy of drunk driving, of how all of this could have been avoided. Natalie didn't hear her words either. She sat between Michelle and Brian. Brian kept reaching over to lightly pat the back of her hand, attempting to make sure she was okay. She counted the seconds between his touches. He was her connection to the world, the only one she was interested in. Once the funeral was over, Natalie stood outside the church, watching the cars pull away. She did not have a car of her own, though she did have her license. Her parents had promised to buy her one for college, but Natalie was never in any rush. Now she realized, she didn't have much to take care of herself. No car, no job, nothing in the bank. She hadn't expected to become an orphan at seventeen. Michelle was settling things with the funeral director when Brian came outside to check on Natalie. He saw her standing there, framed by the sunset, like the saddest statue he had ever seen. “Are you hungry?” he asked her when he stepped up beside her.
Natalie shook her head.
“Maybe you need some rest,” he suggested. “We can get a hotel-”
“Nonsense,” Michelle shook her head. “We just need to get the house taken care of, we might as well stay there.”
Brian encircled her with his arms and kissed her cheek softly. He met her gaze intently. “How are you feeling?” he asked and ran his hand across her growing stomach. “I'm okay,” Michelle forced a smile as she looked at him. She really wasn't, all she could think of was how her mother would never get to meet her child. She might have been busy, but she always cared about her parents. The distance between them had grown for many different reasons, but mostly because Michelle's life had gotten so busy so fast. “Will it be okay for you to be there?” Michelle asked Natalie gently.
“It's fine,” Natalie said quietly.
The house felt vacant, more than that, completely empty. Like her parents had taken all of the oxygen with them. Everything was just as they had left it that day. There was chicken sitting on the counter, defrosting to prepare for dinner. It had been out too long, Natalie thought, and picked it up.
"Ew, toss it," Michelle insisted. Natalie's hands shook as she threw it into the garbage. "Okay we need to get as much packed up as we can," Michelle said with a frown as she looked around. She was a business woman who had made herself a success, so she was all about organization and getting things done.
"No,' Natalie whispered as she shook her head. "I don't think I can do it." "We have to," Michelle said firmly. "Why don't we start with your room?" she suggested, thinking that might be a little less painful.
"My room?" Natalie asked with surprise.
"Well you can't stay here," Michelle pointed out. "The house has to be sold to pay off some debts. Mom and Dad didn't have much saved up you know."
Natalie glared at her. "No they spent it on your college tuition."
“Nat,” Michelle sighed as she met her eyes. “There were some things that you don't know about that happened between Mom and Dad, and I. I don't expect you to understand, and if you need to be angry at me, that's fine, but we have to find a way to get through this together. I want you to live with Brian and I at least until you finish your senior year, okay?”
Natalie stared at her shock. She had never considered the idea of living with her sister. But if the house was being sold, and she had no where else to go, she realized she did not have much of a choice.
“Okay,” she said hesitantly, and the two climbed the stairs to the second story. As they sorted through Natalie's things to decide what to take and what not to, Michelle smiled fondly at some of the hand me downs that were once hers.
“You used to beg me for this doll,” she reminded Natalie. “It was my favorite, and when I moved away, gave it to you.”
Natalie nodded a little as she remembered the day. She had been so happy to have the doll, but so sad to see her sister go. It was one of those moments that stood out in her life, as a turning point. She had missed Michelle since that day.
“And this,” Michelle squealed as she picked up a book from Natalie's shelf. “I used to read this to you all the time, and even make the funny voices, do you remember?” she looked up at Natalie, her cheeks glowing.
“Yes,” Natalie smiled. “Don't you touch it!” she said in a silly voice that belonged to one of the characters in the book. “Don't you touch the cheese!”
“Wow,” Michelle laughed as she shook her head. “I can't believe that you kept all of this.”
Natalie shrugged. “It was all I had.”
Michelle glanced over at her with surprise. “You had a lot more than these toys,” she said.
“I meant, it was all I had of you,” Natalie replied hesitantly.
“Have you thought about names for the baby?” Natalie asked.
“Oh god, millions,” Michelle sighed. “But none of them seem just right, you know.” Natalie nodded and offered a small smile. “I am sure that when you find the right one, you will know it.”
“I hope so,” Michelle laughed. The sound was harsh in the quiet of the house. It didn't seem to fit in with the grief that had blanketed the home.
“Hey, you guys need some help?” Brian asked as he leaned into the room. “I brought some more boxes, and the truck is coming tomorrow.”
Natalie stole a glance up at him and was again struck by how handsome he was. “Thanks,” Michelle said and began to tuck the items she had in her hands into one of Natalie's boxes.
“You should keep them,” Natalie said quietly. “For the baby.”
Michelle smiled so broadly that Natalie was pretty sure she actually meant it. As horrible as the day had been, she found some comfort in the idea that she was finally getting the chance to find a connection with her sister.
That night Natalie crawled into her parents bed. She laid in the sheets that still had their scent, she snuggled into the pillows that they had laid their heads on. But she still did not cry.
In the morning when they had all the boxes loaded into the truck, Michelle and Natalie stood at the entrance of the house. It was time to say goodbye to the house, to the memories, and to the parents that had raised them. Brian walked up behind them and laid his arms around both of their shoulders.
“It does get easier,” he whispered. “It does not feel like it will, but it will. I was ten when my parents died,” he explained. “A plane crash, while I was staying with my grandmother. I didn't think I could ever move on, but time does, and so does everyone else, and eventually you will to.”
