She didn’t need Tim like she needed her next breath.
But she did need Sam that way. Oh God.
She tried to reason with herself. How could she need him when he’d only just come into her life again? How could she possibly think she needed him? She needed this. This thing he did to her. She did not need him.
This kind of thing was possible with another lover. Of course it was. Surely she’d had it with Tim too and she just couldn’t remember it.
And yet, as Sam lifted her legs and wrapped them around his torso, she shuddered with the thought of any other man doing this to her. It wasn’t possible.
Because there was no other man in the world for her but this one.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“IS THIS THE GUY?” Matt Girard sat at the small table in the kitchen and slid an 8x10 picture toward Georgie. Sam watched her reach for it with trembling fingers, and a wave of protectiveness washed through him. It was so strong he wanted to wrap her up in his embrace and never let her go.
She’d twisted him up inside but good. It was only a couple of hours ago that he’d been standing between her legs, buried deep inside her, the top of his head ready to come right off it felt so damn good. He wanted that again.
And then he wanted her to go back to Texas. He wanted her where she belonged, safe with her family, and he wanted her to find another guy to drive crazy with her hot body and wicked tongue.
He wanted a clear conscience again, but he knew he wasn’t going to get it anytime soon. Yeah, he didn’t really have to tell Rick anything—but he hated lying to his best friend. Rick only wanted what was best for Georgie, and while he knew she was an adult, he’d sounded pretty damn suspicious about the new man in her life.
“I don’t want her hurt, Sam. Just check this guy out if you can, okay? Put the fear of God in him, same as always.”
Same as always. Yeah, they’d been hell on the guys Georgie had started to “date” when she was fourteen. Oh, she hadn’t been allowed to go on actual dates that early, but there’d been mall meets and football games and picnics where she’d pair off with some teenaged Lothario. And Rick and Sam were right there, frowning and wagging hypocritical fingers since they were also doing their damnedest to corrupt the teenage daughters of Hopeful’s citizenry.
“That’s him,” Georgie said. She glanced up at Sam. He wanted to reach for her, but he didn’t. Matt Girard’s gaze bounced between the two of them for a moment. The dude wasn’t stupid and there were definitely undercurrents in the room.
“All right. That helps. Thanks, Dr. Hayes.”
He started to stand, but Georgie reached out and caught his arm. “I want to know what this is about.”
She sounded fierce now, and Sam felt a swell of pride. And annoyance, since the less she knew, the better.
Matt glanced at Sam as he sat back down. Georgie withdrew her hand and tucked it into her lap.
“I can’t tell you much,” he began. “But this guy is known to associate with certain… elements, shall we say… that are wanted by the US Government.”
“And this is why the military is involved instead of the cops?”
“Yes.”
“Can you catch him?”
“We intend to. He hasn’t left the country, so we’ll get him.”
“I don’t know who we are. How do I know you can manage this at all?”
Matt grinned. “We specialize in this kind of thing, Dr. Hayes. And though I can’t tell you specifically who we are, believe me when I tell you this is all part of the daily routine for us. We’ll get him.”
Georgie looked annoyed. “Fine. But don’t we have watch lists? How did this guy get into the US anyway?”
“He’s a citizen. And yes, we have watch lists, and sometimes we… just watch.”
“Watching didn’t help Jake Hamilton a bit.” Her tone was sharp and Sam winced. Just what he needed—Georgie pissing off his CO.
Matt Girard’s gray eyes snapped with meaning. “Sergeant Hamilton had a choice. He made the wrong one.”
Georgie seemed to deflate a little then. “I know that, but I’m still sorry it cost him his life.”
Matt reached over and squeezed her shoulder, and Sam wanted to stop him from touching her for even a second. Jesus, what was wrong with him?
“I’ve been doing this job a long time, and I can tell you that it never gets easier to accept death. You get immune to it in some ways, but even that comes with a price. I’m sorry it cost him his life too, even if I’m not surprised.”
Georgie bowed her head. “So what now? How long do I have to stay here?”
Sam tried not to read more into that question than necessary. It was normal she’d want to go back to her life.
“I’m afraid we don’t know. But you’re in good hands with Sergeant McKnight, so don’t worry.”
Matt stood then and Georgie brought her knees up, hugged them while she turned to look outside. Her cat jumped up on the table and head-butted her. She scratched the cat absently.
“McKnight.” Matt jerked his head toward the door and Sam went with him. They walked outside and into the front yard. There was a driveway lined with trees that led out to a road about half a mile away. They were definitely remote.
Matt turned. “It’s not my place to tell you how to conduct your personal affairs, but try not to let the lovely charms of Dr. Hayes cloud your judgment, okay?”
Sam stiffened. “Keeping her safe is my priority. It always has been.”
Matt studied him. “Yeah, I can see that, mon ami,” he said, his Cajun accent coming out like it did every so often. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Sam. “When I give you the signal, gonna need the professor to make a call.”
Fear welled up hot and fast. “I can’t put her in danger.”
“We’ll be here, Sam. HOT won’t let anything happen to her. But we need these guys to come after her. The script is there, so get her to practice it, yeah? Once I give the signal, have her make the call. Those guys will come, and we’ll scoop them up.”
Sam’s heart was pounding. “How can you be sure? What if they don’t come? What if they decide to lie in wait somewhere for her?”
“They’re desperate. Hamilton only gave them partial information, and they need the rest of it. We’ve been listening to the chatter, and Ibn-Rashad is getting pretty nasty. If they think Dr. Hayes has what they need, they’ll come for her. We’ll be here when they do.”
Sam put the paper in his jeans pocket. How the fuck was he supposed to put Georgie in danger when he’d promised he never would?
Matt’s expression was both sympathetic and determined. “I know what you’re feeling. That sense of helplessness while you watch the woman you love do something insanely risky—but you have to trust it will be okay. She’s strong enough to do this. And you’re strong enough to stand there when she does. Evie proves it to me every day, believe me. Sometimes, all you can do is hold on for the ride.”
Sam had heard about Matt’s adventure down in Louisiana. There’d been organized crime, car chases, explosions, and a missing teenager, among other things. And though he’d gone down there single, he’d come back with a sexy chef who now wore a pretty spectacular engagement ring. Sam had met her once, and while she was smoking hot, what he really adored was the food she regularly sent into HOT HQ with Matt. Damn, that girl could cook.
Matt turned and got into his car while Sam stood there, hands shoved in pockets, and brooded. He couldn’t stop thinking about one word his CO had used: love. What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
Of course he loved Georgie. He’d loved her since they were kids. But it wasn’t that kind of love. How could it be? They’d only started having sex last night. Before that, they hadn’t seen each other in six years. How on earth could romantic love be a part of the equation? And how could someone who didn’t know either one of them all that well think it was?
Sam went back into the house after Matt’s car disappeared from sight
and found Georgie in the same position as when he’d left. Her eyes, when she turned to look at him, were troubled.
“This isn’t going to end easily, is it?”
He wasn’t sure what she was talking about. The situation with the Freedom Force—God, that was a fucking joke of a name, wasn’t it?—or this thing between them. That’s how twisted up she had him: he didn’t even know what they were talking about.
She put her knees down and ran her hands through her gorgeous mane of hair—which had been hanging free since he’d unclipped it earlier. “Fucking terrorist assholes,” she spat. “And fucking Jake Hamilton for being greedy or idealistic or whatever in the fuck he was being. He was an overachiever, and he liked nothing more than to get a perfect score. Bet it was the same thing with this DARPA shit. He wanted to do it because he liked the game, nothing else.”
“I’m sorry, G. I know you liked him.”
“I did. And I’m fucking pissed he did something so stupid.”
“Some people are impatient. Or they don’t think they’re capable of getting what they want the regular way. Who knows what kind of background he had? He might have been poor or abused or any number of things that made him long to be something better in life.”
Her eyes glittered with tears. “You were poor. Your parents mentally abused you. And the last thing you would ever do is try to sell government secrets to terrorists.”
His heart flipped. “That’s true. On all accounts.” He didn’t like admitting what his childhood had been like, but Georgie already knew. She was one of the few who did.
She looked fierce all of a sudden. “You’re a good guy, Sam. An amazing guy. I want to see you after this, and I don’t care if my family knows. You make me feel good about myself. Not that I don’t generally feel good or anything, but getting dumped knocked the wind out of me for a while. You make me remember what I felt like before any of that happened.”
He swallowed hard. “That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. But you know it can’t last, G. We’re too different. I don’t fit into your world—”
She swore so colorfully that he lost his train of thought. “What world? The one where I take the Metro to the Pentagon and teach college classes to military students? Or the one where all I can think about is having you inside me? Or maybe the one where I go to bed every night with a book and Belle and feel sorry for myself because my husband didn’t find me interesting enough in the long run?”
“I already told you Tim was a fucking asshole,” he growled. “But dammit, you know what I mean. You’re Junior League, country club, everything I’m not. Hell, I don’t even know the right word half the time and you teach the right words on a daily basis. I can conjugate fuck pretty well—but that’s about it. I’m a soldier, Georgie. It’s as simple as that.”
Her eyes glittered. “I don’t care, Sam. That’s the part you don’t get. I don’t care what you think your place in my life is. I know where I want you, and you won’t convince me otherwise.” She pointed a finger at him. “And FYI, genius, but being a soldier is pretty damned awesome. Anyone who doesn’t respect your accomplishments is stupid and not worthy of your time.”
Now he was pissed. Because she wasn’t listening and there was no way she was truly prepared for what life with him entailed. “Do you really want to be a part of this kind of life? The kind where I disappear for weeks on end? Where I can’t call you and can’t let you know that I’m even alive?”
She swallowed but didn’t say anything, and he knew he’d made a point she couldn’t refute. But he still kept going.
“Christ, Georgie, you freaked out because a student went missing from your class. What the hell will you do when it’s me who’s missing? Call my fucking boss and demand to know where I am? Do you really think that’ll work?”
Her eyes filled with tears and his heart ripped in two. He didn’t stay to see if they would fall.
*
Georgeanne watched Sam walk out of the house and into the yard. She wanted to call him back, wanted to say she was sorry, but he’d pretty much stunned her. And he was right. How could she stomach the life he led after she’d felt so out of control of her own life these past couple of years?
Tim had abandoned her for another woman. Jake Hamilton skipped class a few times and she’d gone looking for him. What would she do when it was Sam who left? How could she possibly have a life with him when he was right that she wouldn’t like it?
And why did she even think she wanted that life? She’d had a crush on him once and they’d had sex. So what? That wasn’t a recipe for the future, no matter that he made her feel good about herself again for the first time in a long time.
Georgeanne swiped her fingers under her eyes and wiped the moisture on her clothing. And then she grabbed her computer and determined to get some work done. Eventually, Sam came back inside. She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. He walked over to her side and thrust a piece of paper at her.
“What’s this?”
Sam looked grim. “You’re going to have to make a call later, Georgie. It’s best if you practice it so you can sound natural.”
She read over the words, her blood going cold. “I’m supposed to tell them I have the information. And that I’ll sell it.”
Sam shrugged. “Yeah.”
She read the paper over a few times. “All right.” Because she would do whatever it took to capture this man. He’d killed Jake, and he’d tried to kill her. Plus she figured that if the military was after him, he clearly wasn’t a nice person.
“You need to read it aloud.”
She looked up at him, the paper still clutched in her hand. “Is this the kind of thing you do all the time?”
Sam was standing over her, hands in pockets, frowning. He hadn’t said a word about earlier, but they both knew it was still there between them. “It’s part of it.”
She shook her head, the enormity of what he did pressing into her brain. “When you left to join the Army, I don’t think I pictured this. I pictured tanks and guns. And believe me, I didn’t like the idea of that at all. But this seems more frightening somehow.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” He sucked in a breath, blew it out again. “I did the other stuff for a while. This is something new, and yeah, it’s dangerous. But it’s important, Georgie. What we do—the guys I work with, me—keeps this country safe.”
She’d always thought of the Army as dangerous and she’d hated that he might be in jeopardy. But this. God. This secret organization—because she had no doubt that’s what this was—was simply another layer to an already risky career.
“Are you happy with your choices?”
His jaw flexed. “Yes.” He let out a sigh then and sat down across from her. “This job is me. It’s something I’m good at. If I’d stayed in Hopeful, I’d have never amounted to much. Even with your family’s influence. I couldn’t afford college, and without that, there were no jobs I’d ever grow with. I didn’t want the mill, Georgie.”
“You could have gotten student loans, could have worked for my dad—”
“No.” His voice was a whip in the air between them. “That’s what you don’t understand. What none of you understand. I’m not helpless and I’m not a charity case. Besides, I like what I do. It makes me damn proud to say I rescue people and stop terrorists, because not everyone can do it. But I can, Georgie. Me, fucked up Sam McKnight.”
Her heart filled. Sam was driven to succeed, and he’d done it on his own terms. He was still doing it. How could she fault him for that? She’d left Hopeful too and she didn’t much appreciate her family trying to pull her back. “I understand.”
His eyes said he didn’t believe it. “Do you? Or are you just saying that?”
“I’m trying.” She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Yes, I care about you, and yes, it worries me that you’re in danger. I’d be worried if you were a policeman or a fireman too. And you aren’t fucked up.
Or at least no more than the rest of us are.”
“It’s nice of you to say that.”
She laughed. It wanted to turn into a sob but she wouldn’t let it. “I’m not being nice. Trust me, I know fucked up. Just because someone seems to have a perfect life on the outside doesn’t mean they do. My husband cheated on me, lied to me, and left me for another woman. I’d say that’s pretty fucked up.”
Sam sighed and scrubbed a hand over his head. “Yeah, all right, you got me there. We can both be fucked up then.” He nudged his chin at the paper in her hand. “Now how about you read that a few times and let’s see how it sounds.”
*
After Georgeanne practiced saying what she needed to tell Jake’s murderer, and Sam seemed satisfied, they fell into silence. He left her and went out into the yard to engage in some kind of workout routine that left her breathless just to watch. He was wearing athletic shorts, nothing else, and breathing deeply while moving through a set of exercises that left his body dripping with sweat.
Georgeanne tried not to ache deep inside, but that was about as fruitless as trying to prevent a dog from eating a plate of bacon left on the floor. She worked a bit, grading the papers she had left, looking over the final exam one more time. It was two days before it had to be administered and she held out a crazy hope this might all be over by then and she’d go back to her usual routine.
Well, except for one thing. She still wanted Sam as a part of her routine. She didn’t know how that would happen, especially since he’d pointed out the obvious conflict between his life and hers. Yes, she had freaked out when her student went missing. And yeah, she’d had half a marriage with Tim for the last couple of years and she wasn’t precisely ready to engage in the kind of relationship with a man where she had no idea where he was or what he was doing.
How would she handle that?
She’d felt a vague uneasiness over Tim’s late nights at work, but she’d told herself it was silly. He was working hard at a new job. Except it wasn’t that at all. Because he’d been working hard all right, giving it to Lindsey until late and then coming home and showering before crashing into bed and starting the whole thing over again the next morning.
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