“I just have a few things for you to sign.”
“Add these to it, too,” I said, yanking the trio of silver Tiffany bracelets from my wrist. They weren’t even mine. Echo had let me borrow them a few weeks back and I’d forgotten to return them. I was pretty sure she’d been egging Andy on with this whole “filing charges against Bash” situation in hopes that she and Andy would wind up being a couple. They’d already slept together behind my back when Andy and I were still together, and as far as I was concerned, they were a perfect pair.
I slapped the bracelets onto the countertop with a clink. “I’ll take whatever you’ll give me for them.”
***
Two hours later, I stood next to my car in the jail parking lot crunching on the last of my Tums and staring at the double doors, waiting for Bash to walk through them. Apparently, he’d had a second bail hearing that afternoon, but when I called the station, I was told that it hadn’t gone any better than the first one.
Luckily, I’d managed to set up a meeting with the booking officer, give him my statement, and pay the four thousand to secure Bash’s release before they closed for the day. It cut deep into the money I’d managed to wrangle from Max, and now I was a couple thousand short for the lawyer’s retainer. I’d have to hit the bank the next day and empty out my savings account. Worst-case scenario, I’d trade in my car. Whatever it took. I made a mental note to keep a few hundred dollars aside to get him a decent suit to wear in case this went to trial.
Assuming again, of course, that he’d even talk to me. A chill swept over me in spite of the relatively mild temperature.
I’d missed visiting hours by ten minutes, so there hadn’t been a chance to go and discuss my plans with him or make sure he even wanted me around anymore after everything that had happened. The truth was, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t stomach the thought of him being in jail for another night. There was no question I was taking a huge gamble, but it was a gamble I would have taken a thousand times.
A moment later, the doors swung open and Bash stepped out into the fading evening light. I swallowed the knot wedged in my throat and waited for him to notice me. He was buckling a watch onto his wrist and scanning the opposite end of the parking lot. His laser-blue gaze flickered past me for a second before snapping back again to settle on my face, and my world tilted. God, he looked so pale and tired, but he was a beautiful as ever.
He walked toward me slowly, a riot of emotions passing over his face. I attempted a smile, but I could feel my lips trembling.
“Hey,” I finally managed. Because apparently that’s what you say to someone who just spent three days in jail for you.
Hey.
I chewed at my cheek as he slowed to a stop a few feet from where I stood.
“I thought Matty was the one who…” He closed his mouth, and his jaw tensed. “Listen, I don’t need any favors from you. I’m sure the last thing you want is to get saddled with a felon. Plus, if your boyfriend sees you here, he’ll prob—”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
I pushed past the squeeze of pain that came with the knowledge that he thought I would even talk to Andy again, never mind get back together with him, and focused on trying to figure out what he needed from me right then. “I’m so sorry about this all. Just let me take you home, okay? We don’t even have to talk.” I curled my fingers into fists to keep from touching him. Reaching out to feel the warmth of his skin to make sure he was real and alive.
“My apartment isn’t far. I can hoof it.” His tone was chilly, and his words rained on me like little needles of sleet.
He started toward the sidewalk, and I stood, frozen in place. I’d known there was a good chance this would happen. That he would be so angry that I’d ruined his life, he’d never want to see my face again. What I hadn’t been expecting was exactly how much it would hurt. I reached blindly for my car door handle and jerked it open, hoping like hell I’d make it in before I started sobbing.
“You know what pissed me off the most?”
I whirled around as my heart skittered. He was two feet in front of me again, eyebrows drawn together in fury, but I didn’t care. Because he was still there. He hadn’t walked away from me yet. I wet my lips and shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.
“Not the part where I got cuffed and dragged into a police car in front of my brother. Not the part where that asshole stood there and laughed in my face.” His breath was coming fast now. “It was you.” He jabbed his index finger toward me. “You standing there telling him that you’d never see me again if that’s what he wanted you to do. I’m such a dumb fuck to think that you’d stick in after such a short time, but I don’t know. I thought we had something. I thought you felt it too.…”
He held up both hands and stepped back.
“I just had to get that off my chest. Thanks for bailing me out. I’ll pay you back in June as soon as I get paid for the Spada fight. You can go now. Your conscience is clear.”
He turned to leave again, but this time I didn’t freeze. I launched myself at him, flinging my arms around his neck and burying my face in the crook of his neck.
“I didn’t come here to clear my conscience, Bash. I came here because I do feel it too. Everything you said. And yes, partly because I want to fix this mess.” He pulled back, but I held tight. “But even if I wasn’t responsible, I’d be here for you. The thought of you being in a cell makes me want to find Andy and cut his balls off. The only reason I said what I did was because I wanted to protect you. The way you protected me. You have to believe that.”
He pulled away and peered down at my tear-streaked face. “You didn’t come to see me, I didn’t hear from you. Hell, I didn’t know if I’d ever hear from you again,” he said, his voice all rasp. “I don’t mean to be a dick. I know it couldn’t have been easy to get the money and I appreciate it.”
The guilt swelled again, making my chest ache. “Believe me, I wanted to come, but the most important thing to me was getting you out of there as quickly as possible, and it took some doing. I’m so sorry for putting you through that.” I touched his face, wishing I could wipe the worry away. Rolling onto my tiptoes, I planted a kiss on the corner of his lips but he stepped back.
“Look, Liv, my head’s ten kinds of fucked up right now. Up until twenty minutes ago, I didn’t know whether I’d be in there another hour or another year.”
His tone wasn’t as cold anymore, but he sounded weary. Wrung out, which was almost worse.
“For three days, I thought you’d turned your back on me, and now you’re here. My entire future is a question mark, and everything I’ve worked for my whole life is on the line.” He reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I care about you, but I can’t do this with you. Not right now. I have to keep my head in the game and focus on doing everything I can to get through this mess with as little damage as possible. I think it’s better if we…”
I nodded, but my heart was breaking. “Sure. Yeah, I totally get it.”
I had to be strong, because the last thing he needed was to be worried about comforting me right now. I’d suck it up and be grateful he didn’t hate my guts after all the trouble I’d caused him. As much as he swore up and down that his punching Andy wasn’t my fault, the fact remained that it was my own poor judgment that got me in that situation in the first place. I should have walked away from him the first time he screamed in my face and pushed me, and I didn’t.
I’d been lucky, and came through it okay, but Bash had paid a very dear price. Time for me to be as honorable as he had been the night he’d rescued me at the bar, and set my feelings aside, personal consequences be damned.
“Still, let me drive you home, all right? I’m here anyway, and I’m going right by your apartment.”
I hadn’t told him about the private attorney, but now hardly seemed like the time. He felt beholden over the four grand, and I didn’t want to add to that. If we had a little more time together, time that was less emotion
ally charged, maybe I’d get him to see how crucial getting the right lawyer was to his future.
“I promise not to make any moves on you,” I said, holding up three fingers in a solemn oath, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. “Surely you can use a friend right now?”
His eyes went soft and I could tell he was about to say no, probably thinking it was the kindest thing to do. To put poor Olivia out of her misery and not lead her on. But then he surprised me.
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess I could.”
I worked up another smile, but this time it was easier as the knot in my stomach loosened just a little.
Friends.
It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was more than I deserved, and I’d take it.
Chapter Three
Bash
I stared out at the rapidly darkening sky through the window of Olivia’s silver Fiat convertible, the sleek little ride reminding me yet again of all the reasons we were terrible for each other. It smelled like lilac candles and new leather, and I smelled like jail.
I’d told her we could be friends, but that was bullshit. As pissed off as I was when I thought she’d blown me off altogether, nothing had changed for me as far as she was concerned, and friendship wasn’t an option. There was no way I could be around her for any stretch of time without picturing her naked body moving under mine. Remembering her legs wrapped around my neck, the soft skin of her thighs on my face. Replaying the way her voice caught on a gasp when she came.
I shifted in my seat, stretching my legs as far as I could, which wasn’t far enough.
How could I fit in her world? I barely fit in her fucking car.
“You can move the seat back if you want. It’s the little button on the door.”
She sounded cheerful, but it was a phony kind of cheer. The kind that reminded me of that cheap gold garland my mother used to wrap around the living room lamp the few times she’d remembered Christmas. And just like my mother, Olivia was putting up a front. That was okay. So was I. The McDaniels boys might not be good for much, but we were good at a few things. Fucking, fighting, and fronting, and Olivia had gotten to experience all three in the span of less than two weeks.
And look how well that’s turning out for everyone involved.
I leaned back and closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t keep trying to talk to me. I’d spent the better part of three days acting, and I didn’t know how much longer I could manage playing cool. She must have gotten the hint, because she turned on the radio, which made the rest of the ride bearable.
Five minutes later, she pulled into the parking lot of the gym and I straightened in my seat. Once I’d gotten over the shock of seeing her and moved past my own anger that she hadn’t come to visit me, I’d realized what an emotionally fragile state she was in. I couldn’t bring myself to walk away then, but I was only putting off the inevitable. We’d started off our relationship with a raft of shit between us, and it was piling higher with every passing day.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she whispered miserably, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the wheel tighter before letting it go and popping the car into park. “I can feel it…you pulling away.”
I shifted my gaze and focused on the dashboard, fighting the urge put my arms around her and comfort her. “Liv, I—”
“I don’t blame you. I’m not mad if you just want to be rid of me, I get that. But don’t pull away for my sake.” The seat squeaked as she unbuckled her seat belt and turned to face me. “Everybody wants to protect me all the time. My parents are about to lose everything and they won’t tell me why or how. You just spent the last three days in jail and are facing hard time, but instead of letting me help you, you’re trying to shield me.”
She reached out and grabbed a handful of my T-shirt in her fist, yanking until I met her gaze. “If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. Say you don’t want me around and that it’s really because things are too complicated. Say you’ll be better off without me. But don’t lie to me. I don’t need you to be my hero this time, Bash. I’m not a kid. Maybe I was blind and maybe I was stupid before, but my eyes are wide-open now, and all I want to do is be there for you like you were for me when I needed you.”
Her words and the bare emotion on her face were enough to make my guts hurt. I circled her slim wrist in my fingers, feeling the strong, steady beat of her pulse. “You’re not getting it.” I wanted to be mad…to keep that buffer between us, but I couldn’t work up the steam. All I felt was sad. “We’re right back where we started, except now I have even less to offer you. The prospects I had before are shaky at best, and I could be a convicted felon this time next month.”
“That’s the thing.” She yanked her wrist away and glared at me, eyes blazing. “I don’t care. I don’t care about anything but making sure you’re okay right now. Stop protecting me. Forget about what you think everyone else needs, and take what you need for once, Bash.”
For half a minute the car was silent except for the sound of our shared harsh breathing. There was a war going on inside of me. A throw-down cage fight between the Bash I wanted to be—the one who was stronger than his weak-willed father, and more noble than his self-centered mother—and the Bash who was a product of rotten genes and one too many disappointments…a guy whose first instinct was to take because he knew that was the only way you got anything.
My brain, exhausted from all the racking, just cut out completely. Like a switch was flipped, and pure, uninhibited instinct roared to the surface, obliterating everything in its path. My snarled “fuck it” should have scared her, but she didn’t pull away when I reached for her and hauled her over the console separating us. Our knees banged together and I gripped her hips, lifting her until she straddled me. There wasn’t enough room for both of us, and I didn’t give a single shit.
I smashed her closer, wrapped my fist in her long, wavy hair, and dragged her face toward mine. The blood roared in my head louder than a white-water river, but I still heard her whimper when our mouths collided. I didn’t hold back. I couldn’t. She was real and there and in front of me and I wanted to drench myself in her. To let her sweetness wash away the grit and the grime on my soul until I felt clean again.
Slanting my mouth over hers, I kissed her like I had something to say and had one chance to say it. Her nails dug into my shoulders and she hung on for dear life, meeting every thrust of my tongue with one of her own. When I ground her against the rock-hard bulge in my jeans, she groaned and rolled her hips in time.
Take what you need, Bash.
I kept my mouth locked on hers and grabbed the sides of her satiny blouse, tearing it open with one swift jerk. Buttons pinged off the window and rained on the seats.
She drew back, panting. “What if someone sees us?”
If that was meant to deter me it was an epic fail, because now that she was upright, her lace-covered breasts were in my face just inches from my lips.
With a flick of my thumb and forefinger, I unclasped the front catch of her bra and her tits spilled forward, bare and beautiful. I swooped in like a starving man, closing my teeth over one stiff nipple before turning my head to taste the other. Her gasps were like music that I never wanted to end, and I was lost. Finesse went out the window, leaving behind something so raw and real, it was a physical ache. I worked one hand between us, grinding the heel of my palm between her thighs, the need to make her come more imperative than my next breath.
“Oh, God, Bash, I—” Words gave way to mindless murmurs as she rocked against me, and my balls went tight at the sound.
She was close already, so fucking close I could taste it. I sucked her nipple hard, drawing it deep into my mouth, flicking the tip with my tongue. She clutched my head to her breast like it was her only lifeline as she quaked above me, hips bouncing faster and faster. The friction of her pelvic bone pressing my hand rhythmically against my cock along with the crazy-sexy sounds she was making was getting it done. I could feel the hot, thick liquid pooling in my groin, prepping for l
aunch.
A second later, she cried out, her thighs gripping mine as she came. Heart hammering, I lifted my head so I could watch her face. Eyes closed, head back, lips parted, breasts bouncing…she looked like a fucking goddess, and I lost it.
I sank my hand into her hair with a growl and pulled her down to me, mashing my lips against hers as the spasms tore through me, rocking me to the core. I held her that way until we both stopped twitching.
I might’ve held her longer, but a familiar metallic taste registered in my sex-fogged brain.
I jerked back, staring up at her. Her eyes were wide and unfocused, her mouth puffy and swollen as a drop of blood welled up on her bottom lip.
My stomach clenched in horror. “Jesus, Liv, did I hurt you?” I wiped the droplet away with the tip of my thumb and winced when I saw a small cut beneath it.
“Don’t say it,” she said, covering my mouth with her hand. “Don’t say you’re sorry. I’m not and I couldn’t take it if you were.” She slumped forward and held on to me tight. “But my foot is falling asleep.”
I barely managed a halfhearted chuckle when a sharp rap on the partly fogged window made us both jerk back in surprise.
“Finish it up or take it inside. This is a business,” Matty snapped through the glass, sparing a withering glare for Olivia before striding toward the gym entrance.
She clutched the sides of her shirt tightly over her chest and scrambled off me. Dusk had come and gone and, coupled with the condensation, he probably hadn’t seen much, but she was understandably mortified.
She settled back into her own seat, pressing a hand to her cheek. “Like he didn’t hate me enough,” she muttered, shaking her head.
“He’s just being an asshole. And doesn’t know you well enough to hate you, anyway,” I said, regret coming too hard and too fast for me to focus on sounding convincing.
Fact was, Matty had a high capacity for hate. It didn’t take much these days. After years of forgiving our parents for everything from forgetting our birthdays to forgetting to come home, my mother had finally broken the camel’s back when she’d left for good after our father died.
Fix You: Bash and Olivia, Book 2 of 3 (McDaniels Brothers) Page 2
