by Ann Patty
The dance broke out with the tenor drums and the children chanting. The flavor was light hearted and whimsical. Atsa grabbed up Terra and twirled her around and around in a conventional American style dance. She threw her head back as if she was on an amusement park ride. Together, the lovers flowed in sync around the fire circle. Terra laughed and clapped and immersed herself into the flow that Atsa challenged her with. Atsa smiled just beyond Terra. He slipped her into another twirl and handed her off to Tahoma. Surprised and bewildered, Terra had not known he would be at the festival. No matter. She smiled warmly at Tahoma and welcomed a dance with him. They fell in sync easily. So much like Atsa in rhythm, yet Tahoma was more yielding by nature and in his movements softer. Yes, Atsa and Tahoma could have easily been twins. But, had Tahoma been present at the pool the first night, Terra was sure she could have fallen for him all the same.
Just as Tahoma placed Terra in a series of twirls, in stepped Yiska. Looking prim and proper, he extended his hand to Terra. Pleased, she took his warm embrace and together they danced around the fire circle. Yiska taught Terra the two step as it was easy to incorporate into their choreography, and then these two moved out. In unison their footfalls skipped in time with the drum beats. Ever serious Yiska got lost in fun. Terra jumped beyond fun right into utopia. She was in her element and in her prime of life. Unstoppable, grateful, and filling her best dance card ever. She remembered to thank the heavens and spirit guides for letting her live to such an extent. Terra thought everyone should do so as well, for just one night.
The dance continued with couples exchanging partners. Alas, Terra was reattached to Atsa. Tempo and timing initiated the dancers. Synergy drove them forward. Tonight's celebration was intoxicating, a rare event contagious to all. When the chanting slowed and behind them the drum beats died, the swirling and twirling and serenading of couples ceased to exist. A magical moment now slipped into the creases of the past.
Terra guided Atsa over to where Tahoma and Yiska were sitting. All around hellos and hugs echoed warm feelings. The brothers were just there for the night and then would be off with the rest of the clan tomorrow. An all too brief visit. Nonetheless, the brothers highlight of their visit was attending this annual celebration, even if cut short. Yiska had heard about the airplane dance and began ribbing Atsa. Tahoma expressed that he wished he could have been a witness to the dive bombers. Smiling, he mimicked what he recollected of the plowing into the earth with exuberance. Terra laughed so hard that she had to hold her stomach tight. Atsa, chuckling under his breath, just shook his head at his brothers. Yiska, with a big beaming grin and his hands behind himself to brace his back, he looked as though he was about to perform the same ritual. It was easy to see the kindred spirituality that ran thick inside this brotherhood.
Shamanic Customs
The three brothers and Terra took a seat at the fireside. Terra sat between Atsa and Tahoma, with Yiska on Atsa's other side. The dispensation of peyote was customary and a plate was passed around the circle. Some of the elders took to smoking a shared pipe instead. Some sort of hootch was concocted of weed and elements far superior. The pipe's smoke was thick, pungent, and smelled sweet . Elders passed the pipe amongst themselves. Apparently their elevated Shaman status allowed them this privilege. Randomly, each looked down at the pipe and commented, approving of its contents. Over the evening, the aroma filled the basin's fog thick with smoke. Whether participants partook in the intoxicant of peyote or hootch, the blended effects from the atmosphere were sufficient to elevate brain functions well into its cosmic creation.
Within an hour the tribe was relaxed, intoxicated, and on an internal journey. Terra was beyond relaxed. She was loosely floating on her own magical carpet trip. The brothers three, sitting cross-legged with their heads drooping, were beyond this length of time. Hours drifted by with weightless appeal. Dimensions surrendered to blend with totality. Collective clan synergy sat abundantly secure, yet expansive to the canyon limits. The group aura enriched with enlightenment grew strong with unfolding consciousness. The cosmos expanded into limitless foyers. The earth thickened beneath with their roots. All that was, is, or ever will be, joined together in this moment. Space became infinite. Their souls immortalized by a simple readjustment intake. This was a sacred journey that turned perspectives loose to find another truth. No restrictions of the mind remained.
The Navaho continued this path all night until dawn. Terra excused herself. She needed to lie down. It was far more comfortable while tripping out. She returned to the campsite and sprawled out on Atsa's bedroll. Immediately, she fell into a deep transcendental state of comatose. Her mind wandered to all the places she had been and many she had yet to visit. Occasionally, Terra's brain parked itself for a time out and let the body fall out of itself and into the ethers. Terra's consciousness was fully awake, and aware. Her body was abandoned far behind. Such freedom of thought was granted immunity when no attachment was to be found. Bliss was beyond compare to this peyote state. Eventually, Terra slipped deeply into dreamland where she found remission until morning.
Terra awoke to the three brothers squatting over her. Concerned for her well-being, they took turns observing and commenting on Terra's health and wellness signs. They gave her a clean bill of health when she started to giggle and called them cute for caring. The brothers had followed Terra back to the den and camped out with her. All of them were so gone in the head that no one could have been of any help to another, if help had been needed. But it was the safety in numbers logic. The peyote would not wear off that day. All were under the influence of its magic for another day if not two. While the initial high would not last, the residual effects would - a subtle or drastic perspective shift and that feeling of oneness with nature. The weightlessness of the body while pushing limits that were no longer there. Peyote thereafter was not only therapeutic. It was akin to being given new eyeglasses.
Terra got up with the aid of Atsa's and Tahoma's hands. She felt all right. In fact, she felt really good. However, she was famished and wondered if the food table was overflowing again. It was like Yiska could read her thoughts. He told everyone to head for the last banquet right then. Surely all the others had the same inclination. Why be late? One by one, single file, the threesome followed Yiska to the table bulging with food. And eat they did, consuming every type of morsel the banquet table offered.
Interlude
Right after breakfast festivities, the tribe would disband and go their separate ways once again. Some would stay over to enjoy the canyon, but most would leave. Not one to wait to say goodbyes, Terra sought out Choline. Atsa saw from afar their rapport and affection. He detected that Choline had final wise words for Terra. He could see Terra was thanking Choline. Terra was hugging her so deeply one would wonder if Choline was Terra's own mother. Atsa marveled at their shared spirit.
Terra left and headed towards Atsa. She was intercepted by Jamal and Stacy, who still wore Terra's bracelet. Terra was not sure what to say. Stacy was a thief, plain and simple. Terra's upbringing did not tolerate such behavior. Now she was confronted with a person who had no remorse or care about such crimes. One part of Terra wanted to punch Stacy to the ground. Another part wanted to let it go, but this was a challenge for Terra who believed right and wrong was as simple as black and white.
But today was mellow, thanks to the peyote inside her. Terra's ideals shifted enough to not sweat the small things. Even though this bracelet meant a great deal, she had to let it go. Her mother's spirit told Terra so. The two ladies stood in front of Terra not knowing which direction this conversation was going to fly. Jamal, innocent, felt a pang of guilt. Stacy was her friend. Come hither or yonder, Stacy would be Jamal's friend long after Terra was off to her next adventure. So, Jamal would stick by Stacy regardless.
All three women smiled. It was Terra who approached Jamal and hugged her. “I'll never forget you. Your strong spirit will stay with me.” Terra put her hand to Jamal's heart.
Compassion over
whelmed Jamal and she hugged Terra back, simply saying, “Me too.”
Terra sized up Stacy. “Come here,” she beckoned with open arms. Stacy almost ran into Terra's welcoming arms. She was surprised and taken aback, for all the other folks she stole from regarded her as a leper. Terra realized Stacy very much had a little girl mentally. Terra felt her bracelet brush against her shoulder as Stacy wrapped her arms around her for a hug. “I want you to do something, okay?” Terra waited for Stacy to nod her head yes. “I want you to enjoy my mother's bracelet because it will bring you good luck. Can you do that? And if someday you are done with it maybe you can return it to me and tell me all the good luck you had wearing it.” Terra felt a liberating release of control that had nagged her life for too long a time. Gosh, she felt wonderful, almost ecstatic. It is never about the things in our lives. It is about the things that bring us life.
Stacy nodded. Tears streamed down her face. Then Stacy said, “You've got to try one of my muffins. They are delicious. I made them.” And Stacy was off to retrieve the last one. Proudly, Stacy handed it to Terra to taste.
Terra peeled the muffin cup off and took a bite. Her eyes grew wide and she looked at Stacy. “You made these? Wow, best I ever ate. No joke!” Terra saw that Stacy was beaming and her new best friend was decidedly Terra.
Muffin in hand, feeding her mouth, Terra wandered back over to Atsa. He had seen the whole ordeal unfold into an anticlimactic non-event. Being silly, Atsa hovered over and then chomped down for a bite from the coveted muffin. Terra relinquished it over to Atsa. She was full. The morning was drowning in last minute chats, customs, habits, and rituals. Many just sat around still stoned. Others played under the waterfalls. Some of the children beat on the drums while their comrades mimicked the dances of the previous night. A few of the elders laid out cloths with their beads and other handiwork displayed for sale. Some even went about trading their wares. Everyone meandered restlessly awaiting the curtain call that was slated for early afternoon.
Fighting Affair
“Hauntingly beautiful dance, Terra,” one of the elder gentlemen offered in passing. “If I was younger … well, Atsa would have to be careful.” He beamed a big smile and squeezed Atsa on the forearm as he passed.
Atsa jeered back, saying, “In your dreams old man. In your dreams.”
Terra was astounded Atsa would say such a slur to his elder. Just then Atsa ran up to his uncle, and wrapped his arms around his uncle's neck for a head lock. The coy old Navaho threw Atsa over his shoulder in one fell swooping motion. Atsa hit the dirt hard. Gasping for air, he pointed at his poised uncle. The challenge was on. The two circled and grabbed at each other. Wrestling to the ground neither gave in. Atsa had his youth and tough physique. His uncle was cunning. He maneuvered strategically like a chess player aiming to win. Atsa and his uncle played low. Crouching and grabbing, each reached out for the other's ankles to get a foothold. Each was serious on winning, yet seriously laughing all the while.
A circle of onlookers were now clapping and jeering. This was not a single time event. Atsa and his uncle put on this kid show whenever they got together. One or the other would provoke the hustle. Always in good fun, Atsa and his uncle were a good match of wits. Compatible. Alternately, they shared the glory of being the winner.
Atsa held his uncle by the shoulders while his uncle clasped Atsa's head inside his large hands. Around and around they went trying to kick the legs out from under their rival. The men rotated as a comedy that had gone berserk. Finally both caught one of the other's legs. In an undignified way, both fell backwards on their butts. The joust was over. Atsa and his uncle pointed at the other claiming victory for themselves. The crowd laughed wildly and so did the contestants. Once again puffed with dirt, Atsa got to his feet. His hand extended to his uncle and they ran into the waterfalls to wash off.
The simpleness of creating great times came easily for this group. They did not require electronics to entertain themselves. A value of learning was that it came from relationships. This Navaho tribe made such events a part of their culture. No drama and clutter free from emotional baggage. Sure there were incidents that could escalate, but letting go of turmoil was a way of life. It was so much more peaceful to exist within an outlook of objectivity.
The morning wore on. The sun was intensely overhead. Afternoon soon arrived. The dis-assembly of the campsite commenced. Tree lights were taken down. Food was put in sealed containers. Travelers returned to their camp spots to clean up. Men toted tables, chairs, and boxes back up to the rim top. In all of two hours, Terra Cotta Canyon was swept clean of any human trespass.
The walk back to the starting point was well over eleven miles. Atsa and Terra were grateful to grab a ride with Yiska and Tahoma. The last part of this journey in the overhead sun would prove to be arduous. Furthermore, the terrain would turn flat and uninteresting for several barren miles.
Serene Repose
Yiska drove his trusty Range Rover headed toward civilization. No one spoke. Terra slumped against Atsa in the backseat. Atsa rested his hand between her thighs as reassurance. There was always a sense of melancholy following the ceremony. Perhaps this somber unrest originated from the peyote high now dissipated. Coming back from a trip there was always a mental let down, drug induced or not. Reality was waiting. It was the kind of corporeality that dictated in one's life the words she hated hearing: should and have-to. With the party over, normal routines checked back in.
The desert ride back was smooth. An all around non-event. The best part was that Yiska distributed the air conditioning throughout the vehicle. With temps in the high 80s and inching into the 90s, this sure beat walking. Eleven plus miles came and went fast. Atsa instructed Yiska on the whereabouts of his and Terra's trucks. Yiska nodded. He knew where they were as he had passed both before the weekend on his way there. The two trucks were dots in the sand brought closer as they traveled near. Minutes later and there they were as originally parked.
Yiska parked, and Atsa and Terra shuffled through the tailgate to find what each owned. Separately, they carried their own belongings to their own trucks. Then came the moment of goodbye to Tahoma and Yiska, again. As family, Atsa, of course, would see them later. Terra was not sure of her juxtaposition inside this family of boys.
Both brothers embraced Terra for a very long minute. Tahoma rubbed her back while under his grip. When he let go he just looked deep into her eyes and smiled. Terra knew that words were woefully inadequate. Once a person establishes rapport with a kindred spirit, words turn into body language. Silent gestures spoke volumes beyond the auditory. Yiska brushed his lips on Terra's forehead in a mock kiss. He pulled her to his chest and rocked her side to side. When he let go he let his hands fall to Terra's upper arm and rubbed up and down. With a nod he let go as if to say that was enough. Yiska and Tahoma returned to the Range Rover, closed their doors, and each waved an arm hung out the window as they headed off.
Terra and Atsa stood side by side. It dawned on Terra and became painfully clear that her journey in the desert, with Atsa,was coming near to a close. Her dream was ending. Intuition foretold that to Terra. Atsa took Terra's hand, and she turned to face him.
“Terra. This was the most incredible journey of my life. Your presence here. YOU made me LIVE again. You gave me purpose.” Atsa was soft in his voice, but emotional. “I believe that we share the same heartbeat.” Terra nodded. Atsa held a finger to her lip. He needed to get out all that he wanted to say. “We, well me mostly, I am at a crossroads. I cannot promise myself to anyone for the foreseeable future. But if I could, it would be with you. I mean that.”
Terra understood, nodding again. “It's okay Atsa. Really it is. I am on a diving board ready to jump off and I can't take anyone with me either. I need to figure out where I am going on this god's green earth. No worries, baby … no worries.”
“Terra, I have this idea, besides exchanging our addresses and phone numbers, let's make a pact.” Atsa was calculating in his head. “
Let's meet back at the Grotto Fingers—that is what we call it—in twenty-two years on the very same day we met.”
“Why twenty-two, Atsa?” Terra asked curiously. Why not two, or ten, or twenty, she wondered to herself.
“We are twins, Terra. You feel it. I feel it. Twin souls are fashioned from the number eleven. Eleven times two is twenty-two. A very good omen.” Atsa was feeling out Terra's reaction. “I suppose it could be any number of years, but in twenty-two years, both of us will have a stronger sense of self.”
“Hmmm. Yes, twenty-two years makes perfect harmonic sense. Yes, it is our pact. And Atsa, we still meet even if either one of us is married or otherwise engaged, okay?” Terra was most definite on this term of meeting. She continued thinking out-loud, “In twenty-two years, I will be fifty-one years old. And you will be an old man!” Terra exclaimed and then laughed at the thought.
