by Ann Patty
To continue, Rich said he had lost most of his friends. Rich mentioned that he didn’t ever think he would have a best male friend again. I told him to not cast this doubt—that he may indeed have many more. Perhaps it was a look into his own mortality that kept Rich from attending his friend. And this indeed was something us baby boomers must face. All too often our later conversations turned from where we had been to how we were going to spend the time we had left. Oddly, we seemed to be counting time.
Rich listened endlessly, intently, to my family stories. From the grief-stricken suicides, to the estrangements. It all got poured out. Rich listened not just with his ears, but his heart. It was the little nuances that he remarked on. How my nervous humor came out while relaying a heart-wrenching story. He stated that my purge served as an emotional release valve.
What Rich provided to me, few had. My brain was one most can’t keep up with. But he did. My mind spun in crazy directions, and he followed. I spouted off about my spiritual ideas, and he soaked it all up. I’d tell him what haunted my psyche, and he never judged. I welcomed that Rich could walk my talk. It was comforting to have such a unique friendship. It was also disconcerting that he knew me so well in such intimate ways, and we had never met in the flesh.
This was what I wanted—needed. A truly great friend who cherished me for who I was. Someone who did not judge me, and who let me be me. An intelligent, considerate gentleman. After living in a dysfunctional marriage for far too long, I didn’t think I deserved this guy! Rich showed me the inside of a relationship I had not encountered before. And I was not sure what to do with it!
Ah, there it was: the shaman. He was making me reexamine all that I had been led to believe. It took this human shaman to simply tell me that I was worthy. Such an easy exercise in grace to accept such an effortless gift. Lordy, lordy; learned behavior was—and is—such a bitch to forget.
Breakthrough?
G’morning Rich,
As always I enjoyed our conversation last night. I will admit that afterwards I felt a bit of a discord. It’s because you—your words introduced some key questions and comments that no one had ever probed before. You are making me think, stretch. It’s good. You know I like a challenge in my mind.
I thought about your ‘what if’ question. What if one morning I woke up and my clairvoyance was gone. I said sad, but more than that I’d feel LOST. For most of my life I lived with people who associated my gift with being crazy bipolar. So I shut that part down. Now I don’t have to. Nor do I associate with close-minded folks. So, previously I might have answered that question with... so what if my clairvoyance disappeared? SO WHAT? Now I have fully claimed this facet of myself and am learning to be proud of it. A giant step.
Thank you, Rich, Until next time > Rest
And back to me Rich wrote:
Heaven forbid I be the initiator of any discord? Most likely the reaction came from one of the emotional subsets you and I share... A competitive tension that manifests itself in a few ways perhaps? Tension that is probably different for both of us but readily in the forefront... It isn’t a bad thing, however; it is noteworthy.
You refer to “it” as being crazy bipolar because others have... I call it being Nicely Nuanced... A foodie would call it “slightly over-seasoned but ridiculously tasty.”
Hope you are having a good couple days and you have some fun things planned for weekend.
Your Friend,
Rich in the hot gawd damned desert... :)
And back to Rich:
Discord is actually a good thing for me. It makes me think. I think you said it: it is noteworthy.
Nicely Nuanced... how polite, cute almost. It fits too.
I have turned into “Sparky,” as you call one attempting to play electrician. I have been wiring everything in sight, and getting advice to be safe. Almost there. Truth will be told in a few days. I may fry like a burnt-up marshmallow all turned black. Guess there are worse things. Do you know why I tackle such things? To see if I can.
Going to an art—street fair this weekend and then getting a roommate who is coming in from the South ... originally from Seattle so it’ll be good. Will be nice to have someone here if I want to go travel, which I do on occasion. Anyways Toby needs to have a night away from me. He is such a momma’s boy.
Tell me when you are ready for another book, I have more, much more. :-)
Talk later dear friend!
From moi in the other hot gawd damned plateau
Unraveling Relationships
Time came that I decided to discard my online profile. This was the last one where I had met Rich. Felt I was overdue to obliterate my face online. The game got old. Too much energy was spent shopping the ads only to be disenchanted. That was not the total reason. I just kept meaning to jump ship because it seemed I had either dated, talked, chatted, or met most of the local boys here. Plus I knew my forever man will not be met online. He would be found elsewhere, in another world far from online dating.
I had examined the logic of being smitten with Rich and there was none. At that juncture in time, I had no intentions of moving from my new-old farm. And, he was born and bred where he lived. We both needed what each offered right then. Both of us needed a friend that was non judgmental yet offered perspective. Of course there were strong twists of sexual overtones that were most welcome reaffirmations of our sexuality.
It might have been that we would only meet periodically for pleasure. That would be a natural outcome. A secret man friend in another land was titillating. And to sneak off to be with him could be erotic. Dreams.
Still some issues bothered me; the things that I had seen around Rich. Because I see so much I always wonder. Mostly about if he was the one—if there was a ONE. But this discontent had commonly happened before. When you know a person deeply you become interconnected. In effect I begun to see and feel Rich on a way different level. And, emotions got in the way. Then psychically—logically it became hard to discern fact from fiction.
And then, enter one more vision. There was another man – the REAL shaman loomed. He was on my path too—somewhere. A seer like me. His energy is quite yielding, yet strong and steady. The man has wit, humor, and a sense of his place in all of creation. His hair is black. He kinda dressed like a shaman. Whatever kinda means. He had his own refreshing style. He was near. Somewhere just beyond this plateau he lived, in a valley, perhaps his own. He was well read, intelligent and gentle. He held incredible compassion. He loved his dogs and all creatures. My shaman – this future guru was self made, confident, and somehow he had something to offer to the we of us. We were to become partners....working together towards a noble cause. That vision for what it was worth hung in the ballast. The reality, however, was one where we must live now.
This future shaman in no way diminished what Rich and I shared. In fact, because of Rich, I am a better person. More able to accept my uniqueness. Both men steal my heart in distinctly different ways, each offering something so real, tangible, and intangible because I had yet to meet the other. But, my emotions already know. And, it may be this shaman waits for me as I wait for him. Each on our own journey of experiences gathered through other relationships until we are ripe for each other.
Some may want a fairy tale ending here with Rich. Nice thought. Right then I wasn’t so sure to see that, but it was fun to fantasize. Maybe I didn’t want to spoil it for myself. Perhaps this next shaman is just my counselor. Someone I consult with as another friend on spiritual happenstances. But I think otherwise. At the rate I am expanding I do believe it is in my best interest that I partner not only with one who shares my journey, but one who has my graduated abilities.
So even with—or in spite of my endeared friendship with Rich, my soul must know we might not to be. It was strange to break the code of conduct that says you should be indentured to only one person. That was a Walt Disney thought. Besides I had not even met Rich to call ours a consummated relationship. The more I lived in the dimensions of
other worlds, the more I became free flowing. Shaking off the have-tos of learned behaviors was ongoing. Relearning was never ending. Evolving as a free spirit continued to open doors to opportunity.
Being solely with one person was a grand idea, but right then there was too much exploring to do. Maybe sometime in forever. I just knew after being in a controlled, stifled environment for years I was not to be caught and conformed again. So the lucky man ahead would have to offer up plenty.
Getting What You Want
So, Rich, the topic for today is Manifestation, or the Law of Attraction, or in layman’s terms Getting What You Want.
I’m not convinced that someone good at manifesting is necessarily a spiritual being. Just like being spiritual is not a vow of poverty either. Anybody can do this. Anybody. All manifestation is, is just the ability to bring what you want into your life on a conscious level. There are many books written about this but it really comes down to some simple concepts. All concepts must be in place for the manifestation to work. So here you go...
Believe in Abundance
Believe abundance is ongoing and never-ending. Scarcity does not—should not—exist in the manifestation realm and if it trespasses your thinking, then your visions for getting what you want will be hindered big time.
Have a Vision
Hold a vision of what you want. You do this every day. You think in your head how you want to do something or get something. Just picture whatever it is that you want from the future. Hold that concept.
Set the Intention
Intention is the practice of prioritizing and saying and writing down what it is you want. For example, you could write down: I want win the biggest lottery ever, then give it away to charity; I want to have a full-time cook so I don’t have to do dishes; I’d like to reacquaint myself with a long-lost friend so I can reminisce memories. You get the drift. You got to have something to aim for. A target.
Clearing Beliefs
Your belief system can be a hurdle. You absolutely must believe that you deserve to get what you are asking for. Examine negative beliefs that hold back your energy, as manifestation cannot get through this blind. >> I can’t. I don’t have... It won’t... Anything you have learned that is non-productive to asking and getting, throw out.
Vibration > Most Important
You are energy and energy is vibration. Raise your vibration. It is simple. Do something you love. Listen to music. Paint. Be creative. Sing. Go hiking. Whatever you do to make you happy > do it. You need to have your vibration levels raised when you ask for stuff.
Take Action
The last thing is to take action. You do have to make an effort towards achieving your goals. Want to be a bestselling author? Sit down and start writing. Want to win that lottery? Buy lotto tickets. You must take steps to accomplish your dream. Everything is for the asking, but the universe can only help you if you help yourself.
Be Grateful
Being grateful is a form of being thankful and raises your vibration. When you are grateful you are happy and receptive to tapping into the cosmic energies for intention alignment.
Be Gracious
Being gracious is a bit different from being grateful. When you are gracious you allow energy to flow through your being which enables your requests to (re)activate. Moreover, when you are gracious, you are able to recognize and receive the gifts you have asked for. This is vital because many times your intentions come back to you in various forms. Recognizing and receiving, GRACIOUSLY, whatever forms your intention has taken is vital. The more you allow yourself to receive, the more you will manifest. The universe is abundant.
Don’t forget: All thoughts have the ability to become a thing. Thoughts are powerful tools in shaping your life.
So I had asked Rich: What do you want?
Rich Wrote:
What do I want? Peace!
And in response to my securing a roommate as manifested, Rich responded:
… a roomette... like a long-term thingy? Wow ... Talk about “breaking news”—thanks for lesson 111... I already knew it. Creative Visualization or at least a vestige of it... Male or female?... not that it matters... is it lust or financial-based... I will throw convenience and like in there too but not nearly as exciting... I am jealous because this is a big deal for you and it will twang some of your BoingBands or you wouldn’t be doing it... good on you :)
Then my return note said:
Excuse me. Can you speak English for moi? BoingBands? Huh?
Thought I told you everything on the home front. Sorry. Didn’t think this was very big news. I have a 4-bedroom house and 2 of them are used-less. As in I closed the doors on them and forgot I had them. Enter the thought: I would like more income and/or someone here if I want to go exploring for a few days. Someone to feed the animals. If it weren’t financial-based logic I would not give up my privacy.
I put an ad on Craigslist for 2 bedrooms for storage or a daytime studio. Figured the less impact on my life the better. This guy calls from South Carolina inquiring about my room for rent as he needs one as he relocates. Huh? Told him it was just storage.
The conversation went on. He sounded/felt good, as in honest. So I agreed to rent him a room, plus another for storage for a while. We are both thinking short term, see how it goes for now. If it works out that we don’t argue, I wouldn’t mind long-term income. Giving up my house to a roomie is a big step. But he works full-time so he is gone all day. He is gainfully employed at the hospital—got a transfer to this one. He wanted back on the West Coast near family. So far he is right on with checkpoints as I asked for verification. I know he is good for it, ’cause I know, or he is the best con artist ever built.
I intend to carry on life as usual. If he doesn’t get me, or doesn’t like me lighting up, too bad. To tell the truth this is new territory for me. I haven’t had a roommate for 35 years. So if I’m a little ‘off,’ don’t make sense, or other, cut me some slack.
Your comment of “twang some of you BoingBands or you wouldn’t be doing it”??? I don’t follow and I am not staying awake to figure this one out. You can just explain it to me, okay?
Yeah, thought you already had the last Lesson. But it is just another repertoire in my bible I thought I’d throw at you. Got a long one I’m working on that you’ll get here one day. You can tell me to stop if you don’t want my rantings... I will anyway at the end of the train.
Gotta go watch the meteor showers tonight. Talk later. ox
Rich responded back:
Boingbands = ephemeral pleasure center... short-lived, maybe, need-meeting, emotional, spiritual or physical experience ... individually or in combination...
“Didn’t think this was very big news” wh wha what? It isn’t big news. It is Galactic, Gargantuan, Ginormous news. I mean someone is moving 2800 fer Gawd Sake miles into Your House.... Booiiinnnnggggg.
More later.
I explained back:
Okay, okay. This roommate was a manifestation at my best. I put it out in the ethers and here was my list...
1. Wanted a guy. Didn’t want to tango with the emotions of a woman... especially one with boyfriend issues.
2. Wanted a clean-cut professional from out of the area... think this reflects all the ‘others’ I have dated from here.
3. Not from here... didn’t realize he would come from so far!
4. 50+ young years old. Bingo.
5. Does NOT like or watch TV. Bingo again. Good thing as I have none.
6. Polite. Seems to be. Actually very > with manners!
7. Will give me money. Oh, yeah and it’s cash.
8. Okay. BOOOOIINNNGGGG. I get it. Guess nothing surprises me anymore—I’m just amused by it all.
So all you want is peace? From what? For who—you? The world? Yes, that is a noble, simple request. I should ask for that but my brain breeds and loves an orderly chaos.
Will be around later, if you are too, call me, K?
Side note: Manifestation was not a trick
, or unusual by any means. But looking back, this particular manifestation was, well, different. And spectacular in its own right. No wonder I blew Rich away. And, yes, the manifestation—aka roomie—came from 2800 miles away to fulfill my void. Boing!
I often wondered if it was the chicken or the egg that came first. See, it is true I conjured up a special person in my mind, who eventually appeared.
BUT what if this was going to happen anyway? That I just saw and captured the future before the fact? Perhaps I remote-viewed this event on an unconscious level, then on my conscious, awake side I desired these attributes. And voila!
Or, it may be that this all happened in a linear time sequence. I had put the wish list into the ethos. And my wish list attached to said roommate until he made his move to start the chain reaction. This, however, was too tidy. And it did not fit the patterns of multidimensional that I saw.
