The Red Ledger, Book 5
Page 10
I’m not sure how long I slept before the specter of Bones’s face propelled me into a heart-thumping state of perpetual alertness. I’ve been staring at the wall ever since, waiting for the nightmare to recede. I tried to replace it with something else. Something happier and sunnier. But thoughts of my carefree past only remind me of what I’ve lost. A walk or some tea would be a nice distraction, but being in the same room as an unconscious Tristan is better.
Selfishly, I’m glad he’s awake now so I can soak up more of him. He motions me toward him. I crawl up the bed and settle between his thighs. He leans against the wall and I against his chest. He’s warm, like a heated blanket around my torso.
“What was the dream?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead his lips drift to my shoulder, his hands to the apex of my thighs. I’m bare under the oversize T-shirt, a circumstance I’m grateful for when his fingertips graze me slowly.
My breath leaves me. “Oh.”
When I shift against him, I can feel his erection, which I’m guessing his dream inspired. I snake my hand behind to circle his hot flesh. He sucks in another sharp breath and plunges his fingers into me at once. I moan and arch against him.
“Are you sure you want this?”
His voice is gravel against my skin. Something about the way he says it makes me shiver.
“I want this.”
He tightens his arm around my torso, holding me there in an unexpected embrace.
“Do you know I love you? That no matter what happened, I always did? I need you to believe it, because then I can live with myself. If you believe it, it’ll be real.”
I cover his arm with mine, returning the message without words. I need him. I love him. Always want to be with him. That’s never changed over time and distance and this dark turn our lives have taken.
“I believe it.” My voice breaks when I say it.
“I just lost sight of the thread between us. It was never broken. I promise you.”
I can’t utter another word without breaking down. I don’t want to hurt. I want to love. I want to lose myself in him. Banish the hurt and the pain.
He seems to know, because he slowly loosens his grasp, shifts us so we’re both lying down, and spoons his hard body behind me. He trails his fingertips down my arm, sending goosebumps racing over my skin. His soft lips follow. Endless minutes are spent in this silent worship. Our limbs tangle. The slide of his skin over mine is the sweetest torment. This is what heaven is like… The perfect place where love and longing promise paradise.
When I turn my head to taste his lips, he eases into me. Slowly, and then deeply, with such intention that I’m rendered breathless. When he thrusts again, he breathes life back into me with his words. “I love you.”
I sift my fingers into his hair, and he lowers his lips to my neck. He licks and sucks my skin while we move together like we’re one body, feel everything together like one heart. And when we come, we share the rush. We chase it and swallow it. An explosion of sensation unlike anything I’ve ever felt. The release is so strong, it feels bigger than our bodies. A force field of pleasure. Paradise.
He stays inside me, and the euphoria hums between us for what feels like forever. Sleep tugs at me, but I’m unwilling to let go of the moment to the uncertainty of my dreams. When he finally moves, he rolls me to face him. He touches my face, traces my lips.
“I remember you.”
“You mean, in your dream?” I can’t hide the hope lacing my tone.
“Yeah, but it’s more than that. I remember us. Not everything, but it’s coming back. My mom’s funeral. You stayed.”
My heart launches into a sprint. Suddenly my own mind is flooded with memories from that day. From the awful task of burying his mother to enduring the small stream of mourners who offered their condolences. He’d broken down in my arms that night in an embrace that ended in his bed. Our first time would be seared in my brain for as long as I lived. He’d been so careful with me. Soothing me through the pain. Then finally giving in to his passion until we were both spent and more in love than we ever thought possible.
I push up to my elbow and look down at him. “You remember that night?”
“Whatever Townsend gave me broke new memories loose. The drug must still be in my system. I don’t know if the flashbacks will last, but I’ve never experienced anything like it. It’s like…” He licks his lips and exhales softly. “It’s like everything always felt out of reach. So thin and foggy that I could hardly be sure if the flashbacks were real. Even if I got little glimpses, it was like water through my fingers. And now…now I’ve got a hold on something.”
I don’t know how to express what this news is doing to me. Tristan having his memories back would be the best gift anyone could ever give me. But what if it doesn’t last…
He seems to read my mind. “I took the vial from his bag.”
“And?”
“And I think I want more.”
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Also by Meredith Wild
The Red Ledger
Continue Reading with The Red Ledger: Part 6
More Information on The Red Ledger
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About the Author
Meredith Wild is a #1 New York Times, USA Today, and international bestselling author. After publishing her debut novel, Hardwired, in September 2013, Wild used her ten years of experience as a tech entrepreneur to push the boundaries of her “self-published” status, becoming stocked in brick-and-mortar bookstore chains nationwide and forging relationships with major retailers.
In 2014, Wild founded her own imprint, Waterhouse Press, under which she hit #1 on the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists. She has been featured on CBS This Morning and the Today Show, and in the New York Times, the Hollywood Reporter, Publishers Weekly, and the Examiner. Her foreign rights have been sold in twenty-two languages.
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